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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/2/2007 10:07:30 AM | I made that mistake too!
The I am beautiful, blond hair, blue eyes, fit, younger than his age etc.....
In walked a biker dude with long hair, overweight , mustache, older than his age...
You get the pic...then the name calling, harassment afterwards when I didn't want a second date...had him blocked.
It was the first date, I thought!
You are not the only stupid person in the world! | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/2/2007 11:05:16 AM | A photo does NOT always mean that the person looks like they do in the picture. One guy I meet on POF had great photos. Smile was wonderful, looked healthy, well groomed ect... All I really ask of any guy. When we meet he looked like a crack addict VERY skinny, almost emaciated. I felt sorry for him and offered to pay for the food we got. He complained about every little thing. But the worst part is that he huddled in the corner like a whipped dog. I spent 1 hr talking kindly to him then excused myself. The next time he IM'd me and I told him we where not a good fit he became insulting. Calling me names and complaining how I looked and in general harrasing me. I felt very sad for this person and even more sadely he still has his OLD pictures up. POF chose NOT to remove him for his bad language and behavior after being rejected.
Even WITH a picture, they are NOT always what they appear to be in person!
I've been told I look BETTER in person than my picture. LOL
happy fishing all 
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ok.1
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Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 79 | |
| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/2/2007 12:19:02 PM | I also have no pic....my choice.
Not posted but readily available for those who ask.
I had my pic up, and I only recieved un-wanted sex e-mails due to people judging me from my pic. Let me tell you my pics were in no way sexual, and I was fully clothed in all of them. Just normal pics in my opinon.
So to end the hassel I took the pics down.
Amazing....it worked.
K | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/3/2007 3:01:32 PM |
I also have no pic....my choice.
Not posted but readily available for those who ask.
I had my pic up, and I only recieved un-wanted sex e-mails due to people judging me from my pic. Let me tell you my pics were in no way sexual, and I was fully clothed in all of them. Just normal pics in my opinon.
So to end the hassel I took the pics down.
Amazing....it worked.
OK.1, I agree with you. My picture is not viewable, but I have it readily available to send if the other person has their picture viewable ,or sends their picture to me.
The no photo no date issue should be put aside for several reasons. Photos do not tell what a person is like. Photos do not tell a person's likes ,dislikes or anything about that person except an outward apperance and outward expression depending on, if that person is smiling or frowing or has a poker face. Looks are great,but looks can be deceiving.
Another reason; POF is overflowing with married people. Even as stupid as they are they upload their picture,but,one can't tell that person is married because their face is viewable. Profiles are as deceiving as photos!
If one is looking only to get a date because a person's looks overwhelmed them, I think it's safe to say that person could be in for a bad date.
Photos depending on the distance the person is from the camera can be deceiving.
Some pictures do not upload well here on POF . Some are dark ,so dark you can't see the person.
lsm2007, it's fair for each to have a choice. Choices are what each indivudal makes when they choose to use dating sites. Fairness comes about if someone responds to your profile. Then,and only then should that person be required to send his or her photo. If he or she doesn't send one,then use the delete, and click ,and move on...
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Algy
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Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 81 | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/3/2007 3:33:45 PM |  NO PHOT = NO TALK??? well if you wanted GOOD LOOKING, then you should be willing to Pay Extra then...
 I don't care if they have a photo posted or not,I do like to see one before we meet up...
 But there are plenty of ladies on here who eather use fake or doctored photo's or photo's that are 10 or 20 years old,so what you going to do bout that???
I had it happen to me reciently,I still think she's a nice gal,but I'm a mite lierry about dating her...
And then there are the Girly MEN,
you know those special gal's with a little something Extra,that tends to make it all a real BAD DREAM!!! | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/3/2007 5:27:51 PM | | I have seen this, it is annoying. A girl put up a picture, said "average" body type, blond, etc, etc, and then was 5'7'' 260 lbs, and had type II diabetes. Now what was she thinking? That I wouldn't notice that she doubled me in weight/size. I would have had far more respect for the person to simply be honest.... unless she is trying to make the argument that a person having type II from their weight is "average".... which it is definitely not. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/4/2007 10:15:10 AM | | i just dont get how if you have seen a picture of someone even if its just a picture of their face or upper body you could not tell that this woman was morbidly obese. the face like everything else gains weight. i have yet to see one man or woman who had a skinny , gaunt face and a overweight body . even with just a face shot i can tell if someone is overweight . if you look at my picture here you can tell i am chubby even though its a face shot . | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/4/2007 11:16:18 AM | @cute physics guy:
I'm glad you were so dissappointed because the woman had type II Diabetes and you weren't holding her weight against her. Just so that you know, for future referrence, not all obese people have Diabetes and not all Diabetics are obese. I also have Type II diabetes and it is controlled by diet and excercise (no medication required). And Diabetes is more genetic, although being overweight does help.
@maryrachelle:
I agree with you that in most cases you can tell even from a face shot that someone is overweight, I have known some people who fit your description of skinny head and obese body (rare,but does happen), However, maybe they should have more choices in the description portion and allow people to describe themselves as "chubby". If everyone who described themselves as "average" or "a few extra pounds" looked as "chubby as you do in your pic, then the world be a much prettier place. I for one  and to your "chubby"ness. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/4/2007 11:16:37 AM |
Anyway, I guess the golden rule is NEVER go out on a blind date, unless you are quite willing to be disappointed (not a good idea when you drive 220km to get there
You drove 220km for a DATE, lol, ya sure. It would have to be more than a date for 220km, come on, I'm a guy, I know, lol.
No pics are not an issues for me, local Timmy's for a coffee fixes that small issue real quick.
Up close and in person works best for me anyways, some women are not photogenic as with some guys also. Pics are but a generalization, a starting point, but not the deal breaker.
I have seen some HOT pics of women on POF but they are ugly inside, go figure, meet in person and save the grief, lol. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/4/2007 11:20:52 AM | I don't think a picture is a guarantee of what someone looks like. In fact, I met someone who used a pic of himself that was 20 years old that looked nothing like him (only I wasn't in on the fact that it was an old pic). But a picture can help you not to waste time if you know you are not attracted to their appearance. I did meet one person without a picture and he was surprising handsome. One thing about going by a pic though, is the fact that sometimes a person who might not 'technically' be attractive in the usual way is VERY attractive the way they carry themselves and behave, just like an attractive person can become ugly with a bad personality.
As for myself, I can't understand the deception - even for a 'date'. I always include a full-body shot on my profile. I don't want a man to be disappointed with my size. To get a date because of a headshot isn't worth the embarassment I would have if they didn't realize I'm full-figured. It's just not worth it:) | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/4/2007 11:47:25 AM | So far - most of the preceding four pages of posts on this topic have been pretty reasonable. Lots of good debate on the merits of picture versus no picture.
I only take exception to the few 'nutjobs' that think people without a picture should NOT be allowed to have a profile on a dating site. Pure lunacy. Nobody is forcing you to ask someone out on a date - anymore than the 'askee' is being forced to accept. If you find someone has mislead/lied/deceived you regarding their physical appearance. Make the date as short as possible and move on. This is no more disappointing than to find out that the person (who, by the way...looks as you expected) turns out to have a 'flat line' personality or any number of issues that don't turn your crank. Appearance is just one of many factors that make for a sucessful meeting.
I obviously don't have a pic posted. I also have on rare occassions made first contact. I did not start my im or email out with........"hi, wanna go on a date?" sheesh. . . what I do though... is mention something that I liked in their profile. Full stop. A compliment if you will. No one has to respond back. Or just saying 'thanks' is fine too. Then if someone wants to take it further and asks for a photo I send one. Done. Its as simple as that. | |
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jb0052
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Joined: 3/30/2007
Msg: 89 | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/5/2007 4:40:13 AM | There are very good reasons to not put up a picture. I don't have one up because I live and work as a professional in a small town. The people already feel like they are entitled to know everything about me and my family and will readily question me at their whim. I have a photo that I send once I have talked to the person and feel comfortable enough to do so.
Because of this reason, I am willing to talk to people who don't have a pic posted. I have been misled many times. That's just part of the "whole scene" that you have to deal with while dating on the internet.
But it's not just the internet. I was set up with a guy by a friend of mine several years ago. She told me that she found the guy to be attractive and all that, and a little bit more. I met him after having talked to him a few times. Boy, was I ever shocked at what she set me up with. My birthday is April Fool's Day. I thought that it was all a birthday joke. It wasn't. We don't talk to each other now because I let her know how disappointed I was. He ended up being an alcoholic on top of it all. I was so horrible insulted that she would set me up with that.
Doesn't matter where you are or how you get a date, you are always taking the chance of getting a dud. One bad experience doesn't mean that they are all going to be bad. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/6/2007 12:27:16 PM | "In fact, there's a question - were any of you who have reported bad "blind date" experiences here the ones who INITIATED the contact ?"
Yes. On two of the occasions I had emailed first. I don't consider that a problem, just a fact.
I have to tell you TD & H I enjoyed your pragmatic, mathmatical breakdown based on the information provided. I've was once told that because I tend to be "fact and numbers oriented", it might mess up my dating experience, that some would consider it keeping score, OK fine.
Having said that, I also admit that I have (and will continue to do so), take past experiences and apply them to a current situation, should I sense any similarity.
The old saying "if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck..." has been very appropiate on occasion.
And I can't honestly think of a dating "experience" where similarities (if present) between the lady I was with and a previous date weren't valid.
That's not say I would sense something and stop right on the spot, but I would pay attention. One time a lady did ask me if I was comparing her to someoone else. I told her she did remind me of someone else. We talked about it and she admitted that was one of her shortcomings. After that we had a lot of fun together.
Good Luck,
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/6/2007 1:10:52 PM | | The no photo dates that I had contacted me first. That I don't think necessarily means anything as for the most part I don't usually contact men first although have made a few exceptions. It is just a habit. Whoops just thought about it the last one without a photo I did contact first. Anyway they were all great. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/6/2007 1:17:34 PM | I was thinking about this topic this morning in the shower.  (honestly)
I can thankfully say that every date that Ive been on through P.O.F has been with the EXACT person portrayed in the pic. ~although Id never consider going on a date with a man without on. Why would anyone do that?? I wont even waste time chatting with one... | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/6/2007 1:34:00 PM | Buwahahahaha!!!
That reminds me of the time I met up with a woman from Yahoo who didn't have a picture. She described herself as... "I'm no Ally McBeal, but I'm no Rosie O'Donnell either." I figured that was okay with me. I would have no problem dating a woman the size of Rosie, if she was a good personality match.
I showed up at the theater and was flabbergasted! She looked like Rosie O'Donnell had just eaten Allie McBeal for dinner! Absolutely huge and about 6" taller than me to boot (I'm about 5' 11"). Nothing like she said she looked like in her profile.
I did the right thing, though. We watched a movie, gave each other a hug, and we parted company. The part that really sucks, though, was when I told my brother about the date. He tells me he would've stealthed her from the car (the theater front was all windows), and just took off when he saw her. Naturally, my ***hole brother is never without a gf, and I'm, well, on here...
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/6/2007 1:44:40 PM | | Hey there, just recently happened to me, had some interesting emails back and forth, he kept stalling about his pic!!! I didn't push it as was taking his word that he was his age and good looking and well kept,profile said hair.. NO HAIR!!!!! not that that's always an issue but seriously, WOW talk about shock, big mistake!!!!!! I think people should be upfront and honest about who they are and what they look like and let others decide for both of their sakes if they are going to be into each other, it's reality. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/6/2007 2:46:24 PM | An afterthought:
IMO, as "good" as folks posting comments about others they have met may appear, that just seems to be asking for trouble.
I met one gal (I made the first contact). She matched her photo, her profile seemed accurate. We talked for a few minutes and I invited her to grab a cup of coffee or have something to drink, she accepted. After another 20 minutes of talking, I was getting uncomfortable, the things she was saying just didn't add up, too many contridictions. She asked about my "previous life". I didn't go into much detail, but said enough to let her know where I stood.
Afterwards she informed me that she was looking for someone that was free and clear of their kids. Sorry, my son is more important then any date, friend and even a (future) significant other.
I have room for both, but for anyone to think they'll take the place of my kid is just out of the question.
For anyone to make a comment about a specific person is unfair, because the details would be left out.
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/6/2007 2:51:35 PM | | What is your complaint there that she told you you were incompatable because of your child? I get that all of the time. Most people my age are either done or almost done raising thier children and when they tell me that because I have a 6 year old that they are not interested in raising another I respect and understand that. I certainly never took it as they expected me to give up him for them. I generally think they use that as a nice way of telling you they are not interested. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/6/2007 3:38:16 PM | Not married,not in a relationship,not ugly,no major hang ups, not a weirdo. I simply do not have a scanner to put up a photo! Most women think I am a very nice looking man and a great person too!!! Its just not a big deal to me, its there loss if they dont want to talk on the phone at first and get to know me that way!!!! Did I mention that I have a great personality with beautiful bedroom eyes and a kiss that would melt steal!  | |
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