| | No photo - should mean no date, but can also mean SERIOUSLY DELUDED !!!!!Page 8 of 17 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17) | I don't see any problems on profile without pictures. You have your own choice, if you want a fricking beautiful girl, you can do a simple search and that's it. Search by pic is much easier than you have to look their profile, right.
On the other hand, I can say that profile without pic is more honest than the one with pic.
I, myself, used to get a beat from a lie pic, so then no big deal to me any more...
If I like you as the way you are and you give me back similar things, then we can exchange our pics, depends on our businesses.
And to be honest, I've met a man who is damn smart and good looking and all other great characteristics, but he never shows it up on his profile by a pic.
You mind has more light than your eyes
Cheers,
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:36:27 AM | | y should i put pic up. if some1 cant talk 2 me get 2 know me and exchange pics personally then there not worth knowing. How many ppl put up recent pics any how not many im dam sure. so i would rather someone exchange a pic via email than lookat a pic that has been posted. i may not be georgous and i may not have the body type all men are after but i still would not post a pic as i have seen ppl cut and paste my pic and change it in ways i would not want to see it so that is the reason i wont post a pic. You may say oh she is as ugly as the ugly ducking that that is your choice and your choice only i cant change what you and others may think of me just cos i dont put pic up | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:45:47 AM | | i agree 100%. There is no excuse not to have a picture on your profile. Even if you do not own a digital cam or a scanner it is still easy enough to get pics scanned onto a disc. Generally, unless someone just set up their profile, if they do not have a pic, they are definitely hiding something. Especially the ones that say thet cannot post their pic due to their profession, nice try. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 9:11:33 AM |
y should i put pic up. if some1 cant talk 2 me get 2 know me and exchange pics personally then there not worth knowing.
Hey monaardnas.. I guess that's the danger of coming in and just reading the start and end of the thread... thanks for your contribution but we've already agreed here at least 3 times that as long as there's an accurate, up-to-date pic available to be shared before you meet that there is no OBLIGATION to have one on your profile, notwithstanding the fact that many on here will be rightfully cautious/suspicious at the lack of pic...
but i still would not post a pic as i have seen ppl cut and paste my pic and change it in ways i would not want to see it so that is the reason i wont post a pic.
You're the second (or third) person I tink to mention this "editing" of someone elses pic and it ending up somewhere undesirable... I can't even begin to imagine what you mean as the experience is just so foreign to me.. would you mind letting us know some more specifics so I can try and understand where you are coming from ? What happened to your picture ? Where did it end up ? Do you know who did it ? Do you know why ?
Waz  | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 9:27:06 AM | Yes, nothing like a little intellectual honesty from women. I've read many of the gals profiles, insisting, no demanding that you need to have a photo otherwise, you get no reply.
A woman contacted me a few weeks ago with no photo. After a few message exchanges, she wanted to talk on the phone. I replied that she should send me a photo, and we'd take it from there. She got offended, and said she did not have one.
I replied how to get one and she refused, then started lecturing me, and got into a pissing match.
Yes, ladies, some intellectual honesty is appreciated. I have photos, we need yours also. And to you gals with photos...kudos. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/21/2007 2:47:58 PM |
Yes, nothing like a little intellectual honesty from women. I've read many of the gals profiles, insisting, no demanding that you need to have a photo otherwise, you get no reply.
A woman contacted me a few weeks ago with no photo. After a few message exchanges, she wanted to talk on the phone. I replied that she should send me a photo, and we'd take it from there. She got offended, and said she did not have one.
I replied how to get one and she refused, then started lecturing me, and got into a pissing match.
Yes, ladies, some intellectual honesty is appreciated. I have photos, we need yours also. And to you gals with photos...kudos
100% correct. Noted and agreed.. What a huge percentage of women DEMAND a pic in their profiles?
And yet, women themselves are the first to get the huff if they are asked for a pic..
The usual double standard one has come to expect..
Mind you, since the men outnumber the fish by a long way, i suppose they can afford to be choosy!! | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/21/2007 3:01:33 PM | | I don't think that all reasons people give are "excuses" I did have a pic up here and an aquiantance of min came on here and started pretending to be someone they were not and them let me know it was just a big "joke" and that I was stupid to come on a dating internet site. So I do have pics but I don't leave them up for everyone to see but will send one if a guy asks me for one | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/21/2007 7:37:49 PM |
I don't think that all reasons people give are "excuses"..
Hi "allwoman".. don't worry, Mr HinterCoarse doesn't speak for all of us by any means.. if you read the thread you'll see we don't all think that the reasons are always "excuses".. but I think concensus here is that in the majority of cases they are.
(unwanted attention from people who know you and give you a hard time for being on in internet dating site came up earlier in the thread as a legit reason, so thanks for your contribution  ) | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/21/2007 9:18:55 PM | debwearsch:
I agree that when a pic is posted and the person appears unattractive he or she isn't exhibiting the way they carry themselves and behave aka 'personality' which can only be seen and 'felt' when two people get together on their first meeting. And yes, I agree some very attractive people can become ugly with a bad personality. There are many, many sides to all of us given certain situations. And I'm sorry but the least attractive looking people should be given a chance, at least not be rude to them. I absolutely cannot understand how some men who don't take care of themselves want an absolute knock down gorgeous woman. Of course the same can be said for women. All of us are attracted at first to the person, but life is short so take the time to get to know the person, we then can find the attraction in his or her personality. We don't have to marry them or have a second date but learn something, just one thing, and be kind! Maybe the day will come that we'll need that from someone else. Just learn and run with it, not run away from it.
I haven't posted a pic, I'm new at all of this; however my friends are saying, "do it", get your pic on there. I'm uncomfortable with it right now. In my job I always get asked, "by the way, do you mind if I ask you your age". Hate that question. Anyway, men my age are either dead or married. I'm so busy in my life I don't know what happened to the last 15 years. Just doing so much, running away from myself probably. Just joking. I've always dated men much younger so posting a picture taken yesterday will look alot younger than I am. I writing all of this realizing no one's going to read it because I don't have a pic posted. So to all of you good luck, happy fishing! | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/21/2007 9:20:41 PM | | The guy I'm dating now, I had NO idea what he looked like before he picked me up. And I'm glad. Because photos can lie. GREATLY. Even Webcams can lie. Not knowing beforehand kind of gives you no expectations of what they "look like" in their strategically taken pictures. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/21/2007 10:24:59 PM | what is wrong with exchaging photo or viewing cams on msn or yahoo if ppl have them. Then i have the option on giving a person my pic or turning my cam on to a total stranger. I rather get to know ppl. I have been speaking to someone i met on here and he also doesnt have pic up but after talking we exchanged pics. We have talked every night on phone and are organising meeting each other. And all this from not having pic on profile. He Knew from the begging i am no barbie doll and dont have the looks everyone man wants in a woman. Im me and just me and he seems to like me for that and no pic on profile has changed that. Im sorry if you dont agree with what i say but im not asking uou to read my profile and want to talk to me and get to know me. All men i have met on here only want sex or 1 night stands. Not all woamna are looking for that so if i dontpost pic then there is less of a chance of a sex wanting one night stand wanting man to message me, Only the nice honest friend wanting men will. And if im really honest then i will admit on a couple have the rest i messaged with warped hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii messages. Hope i did not bore you stupid
cheers | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/21/2007 10:33:26 PM | | Well, i usually read all the post before posting my own, but there were, a lot, and i justed wanted to post this and get back to other things. I don't have a pic up, and i don't mind if that means less attention. Frankly thats my main motive. I like the idea of getting to know some one for their personality first and hope by having no picture that means someone else can do the same with me. Yes, many with photos have been burned by those without, because of them hiding their true form and looks, or their marriage, but having a pic can lead to problems such as someone wanting to meet you only for reasons other than what u want. People see an attractive face and they instinctively lie to get close to the person. If you are attractive and have in your profile that u want a serious long term relationship, it does not mean lowlifes wont try and exploit your sincerity for a quick flings, and could easily try to pass them self off as wanting the same thing just to get you simple because they like what the see. So my solution has just been to sacrifice more attention to find the right kind of attention, and i would definitely send a pic before offering to go meet someone in person. Maybe the answer isn't to make online site require u to have a pic to meet single, but instead where the pic would go have a message or icon that indicates a picture will be shared only after a connection. I mean that reasonable right? | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/21/2007 10:56:47 PM | woo hoo finally someone who thinks the way i do. PPl go on and on and on about ppl who dont put pics up and just to annoy them i found the most un attractive pic i could find. Im not here to talk to the ppl who talk to the sexiest woman and who want to talk to the ones they can bed the quickest im here to find friends i can relate with and maybe something more which i totally doubt will happen any how but as they say ya gotta be in it to win it  | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/21/2007 11:08:08 PM | | Well I met with someone who did give me a photo. Only problem was his photo didn't really look like him at all and I wouldn't have recognised him if he wasn't standing where he was. He looked a bit strange because of a medical condition. Because he looked so different I was surprised and I couldn't relate to him properly at the time. Except that we had already gotten to know each other online and I really liked him a lot. So despite my initial reaction I really did want to see him again because I really liked him as a person and his looks really didn't matter to me. We had so much in common and we really connected. And he really wasn't too ugly just strange looking. The problem was because I reacted the way I did he said he didn't feel the connection in person and never wanted to see me again. I was really really sorry about my initial reaction but he gave me a misleading photo. I got my heart broken. I normally open up that easily to people, even online. So I am never going to get so close to someone online again and I might ask to meet on webcam first. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/21/2007 11:11:40 PM | no photo no date huh???!!!
not in my case, ive had plenty of dates and i have no photo
i dont have a camera and cant afford to get one right now,so whoever wants a pic will just have to come take my pic. hehe | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/21/2007 11:17:15 PM | *Disclaimer i have NOT read all umdink pages of this so it might have been answered, if so post the page number and I will be glad to read that page :)
TDH Why did you not exchange a pic from her before the date? Although I do have the full one of me and the one of my eyes (although Admin and rules have made life difficult there for me so they are hidden but available to those that want to see them) Those that I get to know and ones that I have met I do give pics of before hand and I get pics from them if I have not had any before hand. Only smart on both sides with this day and age...I've been stalked enough to know that there ARE wack jobs out there and i give my potential that same courtesy because most that get to know me really know I am not a wackjob... but tit for tat I say. Fair is fair if they have made the effort to respect my wishes/boundaries with what I have posted in my profile.
But to your comment on feeling stupid about this...umm bad decision maybe but you aren't ;) Live and learn maybe?
You're the second (or third) person I tink to mention this "editing" of someone elses pic and it ending up somewhere undesirable... I can't even begin to imagine what you mean as the experience is just so foreign to me.. would you mind letting us know some more specifics so I can try and understand where you are coming from ? What happened to your picture ? Where did it end up ? Do you know who did it ? Do you know why ?
I had a friend that had shared some pictures with someone that we mutually knew and she thought was a friend/good person. He inturn posted them under a false id here causing her problems. In the other forum we frequent it caused a big fight when she posted her objections and HE verbally went helI bent for leather after her calling her all kinds of things and blaming it on her because she didn't give her permission and he got caught. It was a big fight there and things were said that shouldn't have been. Point being, pictures were used how they should not have been. That is part of the reason I do not put a full face on of me out there. Another member from here took another members pic from here and created a false id on the other forum to post under because he had been banned. It might be foriegn to you because it is something you would think to not do...in that case I give you kudos! But not everybody has those type of morals and ethics and people get hurt because of it.
Men do not grasp at times when a woman says "no I am not interested, please do not contact me anymore" that THAT is what it means. Some think they can still call/email to see how you are doing......We have children and families and friends that it can come back on. And if you have your picture taken and put with a profile or used in a manner that is derogatory to you in your local area...it can cause big problems!!!!
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| Some have no photo because their photos have been "hijacked" in the past...
Posted: 4/22/2007 3:08:26 AM |
TDH Why did you not exchange a pic from her before the date?
Hi country, you're right. Although I have explained in a couple of private emails to posters what happened I haven't put it in the thread.
I did ask for pics, starting a week before the scheduled date (I figured that would be time to get one taken or scanned just about anywhere if she didn't already have one). She replied that would be no problem because a friend had taken some ones of her recntly at a wedding she attended. She said she would email him imediately asking for the pics. Every day for the next 6 I would remind her by phone or email that I was keen to see the pictures, and every day she would have some excuse why supposedly this guy was "having trouble" sending the pictures. Originally he was going to send a CD.. then he was going to email them... then supposedly he told her he had the pictures on his computer but couldn't work out how to include them in an email... I even suggested that she was welcome to have him call me anytime because I would gladly talk him through the less than 5 minutes it would take to have the pictures emailed to me...
At the time I was a little bit concerned, but it was still plausible that the problem was with her friend's technical competence and not with her.. and she had told me so many other stories to suggest that she must have been at least above average in looks that I wasn't overly worried...
Anyway, I suggest you read my post 154 if you haven't already because it suggests quite strongly that she was quite deliberately stringing me along as being seriously self-deluded and/or lying to others seem to come very naturally to her...
I had a friend that had shared some pictures with someone that we mutually knew and she thought was a friend/good person. He inturn posted them under a false id here causing her problems...
Thanks countrygirl for the firsthand report in response to my question to monaardnas. Now I understand what sort of situations people might be referring to...
and such behaviour by others is inexcusable of course ! 
And if you have your picture taken and put with a profile or used in a manner that is derogatory to you in your local area...it can cause big problems!!!!
Which once again is surely further reason why my suggestion (see posts 113 and 116) of a feedback system for here - in a similar way to say ebay - would surely be good for everybody ! It could potentially stop people who... :
a) ...post with new false profiles after they have been banned
b) ...have stolen someone else's pics and posted a derogatory profile of them
c) ...have pictures posted that are clearly out of date
d)...won't leave someone alone after they have been told "not interested"
e)...have admitted to being married and/or in a relationship when their profile says otherwise
f)..make a habit of lying to get dates, money, or anything else by false statements..
As only sport01 ever picked up the suggestion of feedback and discussed it, maybe I should go start another thread... 
Oh and yes, I am definitely wiser in the department now, thanks :)
Wazza | |
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| Some have no photo because their photos have been hijacked in the past...
Posted: 4/22/2007 3:51:00 AM | I jsut read 113 and 116 and while it is a good idea... (Can I offer how refreshing I find you? Not everybody is as HONEST as you seem to be. That just tickles me ya know? ) Ya know the poster I told you about that misused those pics? Well I had a very bad experience with him and nobody believed me until he turned on our mutual friend in the other forum and they actually saw how nasty he could be and how he lied. He is smooth! If we had those options available to people like that, it could be damaging to those that dump him and finds out he is not as nice and lovable as he comes off to be. Trust me, her and I are only two of about 5 that have come to experience first hand his nastiness....we are all reeling from it. He still to this day has never apologized for doing to my friend what he did; he apologized for the fighting in the threads but that was it. He thinks he did NOTHING wrong...I do not want to run the risk of being taken in again by someone like that only to get OUT then him have a way of posting something about me? Not a chance! If their were NOT people like him that would lie then it would be different but alas this is not the world we live in today. I can assure you, if given the opportunity do you think that this woman that most likely strung you along would post something good about you? It would turn into a he said she said and be just a nightmare. The mods and admin do not know everybody personally and have no way of verifying fact from fiction with what people post.
I do not get people that do what this woman and these other two men did and those that feel the need to string people along (in any way) and lie about their pics. I get bashed and harrassed because I do not give mine out right off or do not have them out now but I have my reasons and if those don't like it...well not my problem. Yes, my dog will eat *whomever* if need be but then I'd loose her because of their stupidity and her protecting us...ummm NOT gonna happen! That would traumatize my family just from said person showing up, I have a three year old, not too mention loosing the dog or if he had to witness any of it: I don't think so! If there are people whom don't want to date me or get to know me because of not having a pic well then that is your choice and your right.
I once described myself in an email from head to toe: from the hair, clothing (and size), face, skin, hands, body shape, feet, shoes. lol I just started at the top and went down. (it was definetly an enlightening experience on my part seeing myself in words, I had never done that before lol) Because I had no way to get a picture before we met and he had no good reason to trust why I said so as I do have seperated in my profile instead of divorced. (but that is another story too that just irratates me about people) He laughed at the email because of how in detail I went, he was not expecting that when I told him that I would do that. The day we met I was able to get my hands on a crappy web cam and I was able to get a head shot to him but it did not get to him till after we met. He took me on my word and his exact words were "You fit exactly how you described yourself in your email" He didn't have the entire picture of course but he had the jist of it. I don't get why lying because the truth will come out! Especially if you are not a skinny person (as most men only react positively to that body type usually-and I say most and usually; I know not all do this) so it just amazes me what people do these days. Some friends ask my why I do not put divorced since we are just going through the court process.....well duh! Cuz that paper aint been signed yet! sorry..tangent lol ok I'll shut up now    | |
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| Some have no photo because their photos have been hijacked in the past...
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:36:31 PM | Someone on here just had her pic used on another profile that was created by a man here whom disliked that she was overwieght and disagreed with him on his views..........isn't that sweet? Along with the hatemail that her and another have recieved from him....such a doll he is! | |
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| Some have no photo because their photos have been hijacked in the past...
Posted: 4/24/2007 7:51:08 PM | | Thats a shame what happened to your friend. someone used my photo for other purposes as well , it was someone I met and dated for awhile and when we broke up he did a few things with the photos. I just had someone email them to me where he sent them out. He is a sick man. thankfully people who actually know me know the truth. But it is not worth getting a few more emails to set myself up like that with everyone on the net. I am not a bad looking person. I am honest and it is a shame that the dishonest hateful people teach us so many hard lessons. | |
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| Some have no photo because their photos have been hijacked in the past...
Posted: 4/25/2007 12:34:15 AM | | Yes TxTori, he has been a hard, cruel lesson for quite a few of my friends. He is currently a member here the last I knew. If you want to email me I will give you his user id so you can avoid that pitfall and nightmare. He has hurt and belittled many woman that he pitted us against each other till we found out the truth; now we make sure the next ones do not get hurt and damaged by him. He is a sick, sick man. I wish he'd get help so he could be a positive productive part of society and a good man for some woman out there. | |
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| Some have no photo because their photos have been hijacked in the past...
Posted: 4/25/2007 4:05:41 AM | | Thank you I did email you by the way. I guess that is the bad thing about the internet. Without the face to face we miss alot of clues although in my case I did meet face to face and still believed him. In getting back to the forum question, I think that it is ok not to have apic. There are legitamate reasons. Yes some may be married but the dishonest people will just put up dishonest pics. A liar is a liar or if they are deluded then there pics would be to. There is no difference really. Just meet the person early for just coffee save yourself the time of geting attached emotionally before you meet. That way no expectations no disappointment. And please I always find it funny when people have to describe themselves as so gorgeous......or hot. Why do you think they are on here? Not saying that there are not hot or gorgeous people on here but if they have to use those terms to describe themselves it says alot about the personality. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/28/2007 10:30:39 AM |
I really think they are being dishonest with someone ... their wife, their girlfriend, or who ever they are hiding from.
Now, I have found that a man did not have a pic up but decided to meet him, anyway. He seemed like a nice, honest, clean cut man. Until 2 weeks later his Wife called me. Yeah, the jerk did not have his picture posted because he was married!!! And he was afraid his wife would find out. It was horrible! Pictures should always be shown, but that is my own personal oppinion. | |
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