| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 7:07:41 PM | | I think its kinda wonderful and refreshing that you cried during a sad movie scene...I do that all the time and would be pleasantly surprised to be with a man who did so....I think you handled the situation exackly right....I read your post and thought "Why cant I meet someone like you?"...lol...Tears are a sign of strength and being human, not weakness....She sounds pretty unstable, insecure about her own self, and mixed up to demand that you not show sad emotions...Drop her and find someone else equally sensitive as yourself and tolerant and accepting of all your feelings | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 7:19:47 PM | I agree with TDH about watching those movies by myself or with good friends. Even though I am a female and cry so easily, man..... I'm a freaking baby, LOL. I cannot stand to cry in front of others. I try to stop it even when I'm alone, now that's screwed up.
Nothing wrong with it my friend, we used to catch my father crying during sad movies, especially the Lou Gehrig story. Some people feel it's a sign of weakness, too bad really.
My ex used to cry all the time, never took it as a sign of weakness, we just worked through his challenge and moved on.
Sensitive men are a real turn off to some women but others??? mmmmmmmmmm!!!
:))
Witchy | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 7:38:45 PM | OP,
Better to find that out now instead of later when you would have certain reasons to try and stay with her (i.e. get married and have kids and try to "make it work"). By "Making it work" I mean having to bottle up everything and not being able to communicate including the ocassional tear when words fail.
No, trust me...better to find out now. If you did stay with her and then it didn't work? Trying to learn to reconnect with the human race and the "normal" people can be very hard and take a long time to accomplish.
Now, if you would have laughed in that scene and she pulled closer and laughed along with you? Well...somehow that is the type of person I picture she is for some reason. Just go grab the Confederate Railroad song "She Never Cried When Old Yeller Died" and crank it up...
Cheers | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 7:47:48 PM |
She said she needed time and I told her I would give her as much as she needed and to call me if and when she was ready.
Kick her to the curb and move on. If she gets freaked out over a guy who gets into emotional scenes, she probably is not someone That can handle all the other issues that creep into relationships.
Chalk it up to a good weekend, good company, but in the end no match. | |
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*Tee*
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Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 31 | |
| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 7:48:25 PM | Ok, so breaking this down, what shes really telling you is...
You can be my shoulder to cry on when things get tough for me..
BUT
You aren't allowed to have weak moments, cause I won't be there to give you my shoulder..
Do you really want a woman like that? | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 9:20:02 PM | First I would like to thank everyone who has posted in this thread, I really appreciate your concerns and opinions and advice.
Second I saw the girl on her instant message service tonite, and im'd her. I just told her that I was concerned about her because of the way she sounded last night and that I hoped she was ok.
She didnt respond at all, which just confirms what many in this thread already said.
That I need to move on and not bother with her. I feel that if it was really just a case of her being scared and not knowing how to deal with a man with real emotions she would have at least responded with something - anything. Instead there was no resonse at all.
Brett | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 10:59:32 PM | this is why I only ever go see comedies during the first few dates!!
kidding , but seriously , that movie specifically dredges up a lot of painful memories, flashbacks and raw emotion for many.
It's not like you were crying during a disney movie, not that I'd have a problem with that either exactly , I'm just saying , her reaction seemed overboard to me.... | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 11:04:53 PM | Watch for that date on a future episode of Cops.... She'll be the one leanning out of a trailer screamming, "Take his a55 to jail".
Seriously alot of people fail to recognise that it takes more balls to let your guard down that to keep the wall up. Or maybe in this case it was faster than she expected to get past that particular wall? | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 11:19:26 PM | Face it, she's old school. My dad is like that, he's the rock. No matter whose funeral it is or anything he will not shed a tear.
That's old school.
I drop a tear now and then but not at a movie, get choked up sometimes though. | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 11:29:47 PM | Oops! OP, if you IMed her tonight, I think this was a bit soon. She said she needed time, you put the ball in her court, and then you contacted her first. While you were probably anxious, she probably needed more time than that. If it were I, I'd have felt pestered/smothered, and certainly not like I had the space I needed.
So now it may be a moot point, but just to add to the thoughts for the future: my guess would be this view has to do with her upbringing, and it CAN be something a woman can get over. Taking it to an extreme, if you two were to raise children together, and you had a boy, you wouldn't want her to be suppressing his emotions. In my experiences, little boys are usually MORE emotionally needy and prone to crying.
I would recommend you read the book Raising Cain, because that gives some important references about men and what they have to deal with that women may just not see from our perspective. Suggesting (gently) that she read that book as part of her thinking process might have been useful.
For now, I just suggest leaving her alone altogether, and thinking about other things/people entirely. If and when she's ready, she'll come back to you, and you can take it from there.
One thing I think can be dangerous about the forums is a person can get all kinds of advice here, can think about things a lot, come to a resolution in oneself, and be ready to act - all before the other person gets a moment to sort out their own thoughts. Holding the resolution in can be difficult, but I think it's really important in a lot of cases! | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 11:56:58 PM | | I personally find men who cry over movie scenes a big TURN OFF...however I would not react the way she did. I would basically just let it slide and try to forget about it until it happens the next time. Sorry. I have to be my honest, cold-hearted, monotonous, robotic self. | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/3/2007 12:07:10 AM | Do keep in mind guys that women have a natural expectation to view you as a "protector". So will want to see you as both strong and virile. An enlightenned person can overcome our more base nature (such as some guys won't go out chasing every willing women to dump seed into, and yes EVERY healthy guy has that urge but recognise it as such and therefore aren't required to act on it)
Honestly I have shed a tear over a movie ....... Old Yeller, I was in grade school at the time, really doubt that is a big deal but hey, maybe that makes a guy undate-able 
Make no mistake emotion is still always there, just on a rein and under control. What can I say my Gramps was old school and taught me things like "bravery isn't doing heroic things and not being afraid, it is being scared 5hitless and still doing what needs done because you know it is right".
Again an early show will put some women off, even alot of those that spout the cosmo lines of wanting a "sensitive man" ...... remember comso forgot to clarify is the was sensitive emotionally or just sensitive to heat and cold. | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/3/2007 12:35:13 AM | Blade Runner 3 models, are soldier and manual laborer,and an assassin with a 4 year lifespan...
You could have made it a little harder, but the answer to your Question about the quatloos is:
Star Trek Original,
The Gamesters of Triskelion
The form of money the Providers waged on Thralls that battled each other.
Sci trivia is just a hoot! | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/3/2007 10:23:58 AM | ok she has problems. i think its so cute when guys cry. a guy that says he has never cried and never would or think hes too masculine to cry is full of shit. i hate guys like that. you need to find a girl that like guys that arent afraid to show emotion. if they have a problem with you doing that, then they arent worth it.
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/3/2007 11:25:53 AM | From what I read in the last paragraphs of the OP... this woman doesn't sound like she is very stable herself. She sees a guy shed a small tear and her chest freezes up and she panics? Come on!
There is either some very heavy baggage with her, or she isnt all there man... consider yourself lucky that you didnt invest weeks or months in a relationship with her. | |
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atlast
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Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 45 | |
| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/3/2007 11:45:27 AM | | Shedding a few tears at the appropriate time is hardly a sign of weakness. Watch a tough old army sargeant talk about losing some of his men in battle and see if he doesn't get emotional. The ability to show empathy is what separates the human race from the animal kingdom. It keeps us from murdering smart ass little punks who get on the forums and start making fun of strangers who aren't afraid to have feelings. | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/3/2007 12:33:03 PM | I happen to know the young lady to whom BA is referring, and the conclusions to which the majority of people have jumped couldn't be further from the truth. Of course, it is much easer to damn a person when only side of a story is presented. I would never take it upon myself to speak for her, but I do know that story presented is quite a work of fiction.
And to jump to a conclusion of my own, BA is so starved for acceptance that he will say practically anything to have the people of the forums come to his defense. I doubt if the women of the forum would be quite so quick to come to his defense if they but knew of the things he had said. | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/3/2007 12:40:29 PM | | honestly i would look at a guy a little strange if he starts crying during a movie but i would still continue to see him after that . however if he starts crying over how cute puppies are or how beautiful the sunrise is i am out of there. even i dont do that stuff so i couldnt handle a guy bawling all the time it would turn me off. yes i get it that men are human too of course and have emotions but men usually react in different ways to sad or touching things. maybe this woman just dont feel comfortable with a guy who cries at movies .maybe it freaked her out.by the way its not that i see anything wrong with a man crying but there is a time and place for anything . even being around other women who cry over anything annoys me. | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/3/2007 1:52:55 PM | I am very sensitive therefore I need someone to create a balance, I can't have too weepy willows! I even try to overcompensate my sesitivity by trying to be a hard ass lol. I especially wouldn't want a man to cry on the second date, maybe when we get closer though. | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/3/2007 2:12:41 PM | Op- Just when I think I have heard it all, I hear this craziness........
My goodness, it's not like you were running away, crying screaming in terror, from a say, a bee, or something!!!
Your date has some serious issues, what that may stem from, who knows, but it seemed very immature.
She looks like the weakling to me...
I dated a man once, who got a little emotional in a movie, it didn't turn me off, I held his hand tighter in understanding..
Good luck with her. I'm sure, (if she can manage to grt thru this drama), she will come up with something else that she needs "time", to get over about you...
Prepare for that..
Next time it will be "Oh, you sneeze too weirdly." Or, "You take too long in the shower."
Run Forest RUN
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/3/2007 2:29:36 PM | OMG -- she is an ASS. an idiot. an insensitive cretin. 
that is all there is to say. don't look back. forget her as fast as your brain will permit. you deserve much better than a small minded person like that.
...sheesh, what an awful silly stupid person. i can hardly believe this actually happened. can there actually be a person in this world who is so stupid that she really believes "real men don't cry"? real men DO cry, it is only creepy macho men who are afraid to cry, and those are the LEAST attractive men.
sorry that happened to you... better luck next time...  
and by the way, i have heard the film is good. i am hoping to see it soon myself... | |
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