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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 4/9/2007 6:47:49 PM | | If you truly want her and she wants you back, I would suggest that you do some couple's counseling - while living separate. Put the divorce on hold for maybe a couple of months. If the counseling bit doesn't work, then you proceed with the divorce. I believe you should try to work things out, as long as you are both agreeable in making drastic changes in what went wrong in the first place. If there is plenty of a marriage/relationship to build on, then by all means work with the strengths and see the counselor about your weaknesses. I do not believe that love, alone, will fix everything, but that is a really great start. Good luck in all that you both do. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 4/9/2007 7:04:00 PM | | I have no idea what you should do,but i would never ever trust a woman who cheated on me youre only setting your self up for heartbreak again.being christian, im not sure what that has to do with anything. people who cheat will cheat again and again. its that simple. never met one who didnt re cheat , but thats just me. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 4/9/2007 11:57:01 PM | I'm sorry about your wife cheating on you, but I can't help but wonder why, if you are not divorced, and in fact considering reconcilliation, your profile lists your marital status as "divorced".
excellent point Kymicat
I do believe and follow God. My wife, my daughter, and I are christians.
As many have said we are sorry you have to endure the pain of a cheating spouse, but I am also sorry that a "christian" would deceive others on this site with the claim that he is divorced. Maybe you both deserve each other, since both of you seem to need a course in Christian ethics. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 4/20/2007 8:49:08 AM | | I would say no don't take her back....somethings although forgiven are not forgotten, also don't reunite for the sake of your daughter..you won't be doing her any favors. My advice is if down the road if you can be friends great but I wouldn't re eter into marriage with her again. In my expereince once a cheater always a cheater...she made her choices now she has to live with the consequences...Just because you don't take her back does not mean you are not christian...besides the golden rule is do onto others...sometimes this means forgiveness but remember it dosn't mean you have to settle or be treated badly, do yourself and your daughter a favor and move on out of the marriage. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 4/21/2007 8:19:59 AM | I wonder if the OP took back his cheating wife? but then again I often wonder if Vegetarians eat Animal crackers??
Do you really save 15% off of insurance from Geico? but then again I did stay at a Holiday inn last week | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 5/17/2007 5:13:30 PM | You can forgive her and you should. Not for her but for yourself, forgiveness is cleansing, it releases us from the hurt and anger that is natural when we've been betrayed.
The marital vows and bonds were broken, no ifs ands or buts about it. You say you're a christian so I'll assume you know what the scripture says.
As a human being, I just don't see how it could ever be the same. And I think if you're honest with yourself, it wouldn't be. This is why forgiveness is so misunderstood, it's not like saying it's okay, it's a release of your ownership and obligation of it. Setting yourself free from it and any influence over your life.
The best thing would be to start over, start fresh. I think that makes the most sense, and scripturally you're not bound to her any longer. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 5/17/2007 10:00:02 PM | Um now. You don't need that. You think she's not going to do it again? She dated numerous boyfriends to get her rocks off and now she wants to come crawling back to you???? 6 months ago she wanted you to sign on the bottom line and now she's back, ridden hard and put back wet???
Run dude.
Seriously.
Fool you once, shame on her. Fool you twice, shame on you.
Turning your cheek in this instance, will just get you slapped again. Take it to trial and let the chips fall where they may. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 5/18/2007 2:51:15 AM | """kick me out 1 week after our 10 year anniversary (2005). Her best friend's Husband move in"""
Women are some of the most vindictive things, I forgot to mention kiss her ass before trial or she'll f you over like any other women would do...
Christian all right lol | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 5/18/2007 3:07:11 AM | | I just had to respond to your dilema ...And believe me I have been in the same situation so i am not judging you for your ignorance...but you say your wife is a christian? I would check that if I were you before forgiving her, easy to say, but a woman that cheats on her husband ? well not only is that not christain behavior, but read the bible ! thou shalt not covet they neighbor's wife , thats goes for husbands too... In my religion that is a sin ! taking her back would be very forgiving on your part, and very stupid ...she;s not finished cheating ...... | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 5/18/2007 7:34:06 AM | | Ok This what I think. I have currently gone through breaking up with my girlfriend that left me for another guy. After 2 months she came back. That is when all the trouble began. There were obvoius trust issues on my part. If she did it once she can do it again. How does the saying go once a cheater always a cheater. Anyways I did take her back but now I was insecure about myself. I became a Wuss (David DeAngelo). Once a relationship breaks up esspecially over something like cheating it is dead. Love is for the most part Trust if that has been compromised it takes a lot of proof that it will not happen again and that takes a lot of work. Now instead of her putting in 100% into the relationship she has to put in 200%+. Remember nothing is ever going to be the way it was. By the way my girlfriend and I are not togeather after she came back and basically cheated on that boyfriend she is now with him again. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 5/18/2007 7:38:44 AM | Your point is true...it's not worth the "get back together and give it another shot" Life is way to short to be "Fixin" things...if your motor blew in your car...( Like your temper blew when you found out what she was really all about) ...it's time for a new car....isn't it great that we can associate vehicles and woman in so many different catagories !!! LOL>...no offence to those woman that still like me..!!!  | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 5/18/2007 7:41:11 AM | "Should I take my wife back if she stops the divorce, or start dating after the divorce is over."
I'm sorry to hear about your ordeal. Must be pretty consuming and exhausting (to say the least).
Only you can make this decision. However...ask yourself this. "Can I truly forgive her and look forward without having any doubt in her word?" "Am I still in love with her and her with me?" "Am I doing this for the right reasons?" "Is she being genuine about her feelings and regretful?"
If you decide not to take her back, do not start dating until you have mourned the loss and are over the pain. Nothing worse than "band-aiding" those feelings and bringing some else into the "mix".
Make sense?
Wishing you all the best. | |
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stolks
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Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 68 | |
| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 5/18/2007 9:02:46 AM | Whatever you choose to do you need to choose what is best for your daughter. Screw your feelings and what your wife\exwife wants. The child is the most important thing here.
Now taking her back do you think you could be happy as if you and the wife are fighting or always in a huff with each other your little girl will see this and it will be more painfull for her.
So each instance is different but i would say you and your little one are better off without her living with you guys and definatly wait till everything is final before dating this way it wont bite you in the ass. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 5/18/2007 11:04:29 AM | Good lord OP, what a scenario, everything but YOU PICKED A FINE TIME TO LEAVE ME LUCILLE!!!! Its touching that you want to forgive her But You cant uncook a Roast once its cooked
Why you would take back a woman who apparently doesn't believe in Monogamy( or did she think Monogamy was a piece of firewood) is beyond me, but if she lifts your skirt up and you want to take her back and think you're going to live happily ever after......... well good luck, I hear Cinderella has her place up for sale now, | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 5/18/2007 7:12:05 PM |
: Good lord OP, what a scenario, everything but YOU PICKED A FINE TIME TO LEAVE ME LUCILLE!!!! - Tempusfugit
"I SECOND THAT EMOTION!"
OP, I really think that you would be taking her back for the wrong reasons. If you stop the divorce at this point, you will find that somewhere in the near future, you will feel that you should have divorced her when you had the chance. Once the marriage vows have been broken and she has had not just one affair... but many, tell me WHY you would want to take her back. Wouldn't her infidelities be in the back of your mind when with her and could you ever trust her again...walking on egg shells everytime she left the house...wondering if she was being unfaithful yet again?
Forgiveness is one thing, being a chump is another. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 5/18/2007 7:59:48 PM | Personally, I'd let the divorce follow it's process. She's the one that instigated it, let it happen. You will find out faster if it DOES go through what she's all about than if it doesn't. There's nothing wrong with dating and / or eventually remarrying her if it's what's meant to be. Happens every other day. I'd be wary if she's the one pressuring you to stop the proceedings and again, I think if you let it happen things will work out the way they should.
'just' sayin...
good luck OP | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 5/19/2007 5:20:30 AM | I think "ready2dateagain" left for the church cause he ain't here .
Forgiveness is one thing, being a chump is another.
I wonder if he forgave her and/or became a chump?
I hate that we don't know the ending results after people took the time to give him good advice. He could of at least, given us a hint.  | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 6/7/2007 8:40:11 PM | Gotta say that in reading this advice, the consensus goes to the idea of letting the cheating ***** go away and I wholeheartedly agree with the consensus. There's another dimension to this subject matter.
Why do people cheat?
I think it is a self-esteem issue. At least the cheater doesn't harangue the hell out of you for 25 years. They are pretty quick to show their colors.
Cheaters are just collecting trophies. It's not always a sex thing. Often it's like a game of tag. The more guys who want to screw them, she thinks of herself as desirable. So, she collects a game point for every **** job.
Funny thing. She never gets enough points. IT BECOMES AN ADDICTION !!! She has a loser mentality. Never enough points to make her a winner. In her mind, she has been sold on the idea that she is a loser. Yes, she is because she thinks she is one. It's her reality -- being a loser.
Being a loser may show itself as a sexual thing, but that is the minor part of it. The major part of it is the cravings that come from poor self-esteem. Why she has this problem could be many possibilities, but her thinking is basically a wrong idea pushing the whole addiction.
These people don't know how to give or get love. They don't even know what love looks like. They are very confused like a ball of tangled kite string.
Throw away the tangled string and start over. Get a new ball of string and go fly a kite. That's actually a good thing. Have fun with your new string.
Oh, yeah. Be careful and find a person with a solid and healthy self-esteem. Leave the ****ers to the ****ers and let them live their crazy life. It's not for you or me. It's a very stressful thing and our merciful God gives us a clear out of this stress. We don't have to mess with it. We can break away and be free of it. We can have a new beginning in our own life without the burden of an addictive personality clinging to us and causing imbalance and mayhem.
The advice to save your child is good. Give the child a calm, balanced and mentally healthy environment. Children deserve the best.
Ken
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