| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 7/20/2007 7:51:01 AM | | you should think more of yourself. Do not take her back. How about after the divorce instead of jumping into another relationship. Enjoy your interestests, what do you like to do? How can you improve yourself? focus on your daughter also. I am divorced from a meth user and cheater, who would take me back in aminute it is too late, he killed the love I had for him. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 7/20/2007 7:51:41 AM | | Sorry..but I don't think it would be any better on you or the daughter. Just from what I've read, it sounds like she likes to play around...but...it's not me that has to live in that situation- it's you. I would be weighing out all the good and the bad before I would even think about taking her back. If I have nagging gut feelings- I would stick with those gut feelings, it's very seldom ever wrong. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 7/20/2007 11:24:49 PM | I've taken back my cheating spouse. Lots of promises..."I won't ever cheat on you again. I didn't realize how much I loved you until I lost you. Please take me back. I promise I won't let you down. I was such a fool!"
I took her back, and it was great...until she cheated again. She fully regained my trust after awhile, and once I was comfortable about it all she was back to her old tricks. She was using my car to cart her "boyfriend" around while I was home sleeping. (I worked 3rd shift at the time.)
Maybe your circumstances are different. I can't tell you what to do. I just know that I will never ever ever ever take back a cheating woman. Cheat once and the woman will be out of my life. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 7/21/2007 12:08:38 AM | It has been three months since you started this post and it would be good to know what your decision was.
There are always three sides to a story, your side, her side and the truth. I think that if everyone is honest and you can communicate openly, you may have a chance to work through your relationship. If not, then its time to move on. Either way, you will have to work through alot of emotion, growing within yourself, change and forgiveness.
Whatever happens, I sincerely hope that it will work out for the best for all of you, especially your daughter - she sounds pretty amazing. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 8/8/2007 10:16:50 AM | i agree with summer sun
my wife cheated, i took her back because of all the crying, begging etc
of course and has been said, she cheated again, it was just in her nature.
and its not like we didnt have a great sex life, we did. but she was such an attention whore (bad childhood) that she needed constant attention from men.
some people have self respect and honor the commitments they make, others dont.
fortunately i knew better than to make children with her, so the marraige was the only casualty.
if youre with someone who has a propensity to cheat, for gods sake be smart and dont make kids with that person. just move on til you find a good one, im sure theyre out there (somewhere) | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 8/8/2007 10:53:52 AM | DONT TAKE HER BACK, IF SHE HAS HAD PLENTY OF BOYFRIENDS SINCE THE BREAK UP AFTER SHE CHEATED ON YOU......DONT B/C SHE WILL DO IT AGAIN...........GOD WILL NOT KEEP THAT FROM HAPPENING, SHE HAS TO KEEP IT FROM HAPPENING AND SHE WILL CHEAT AGAIN.....YOU WILL SEE!!!!
MY WIFE CHAETED ON ME, AND I KICKED HER OUT. I HAVE JOINT CUSTODY OF MY SON AND YES IT HURTS THE DAYS I DONT HAVE HIM BUT LIFE GOES ON.......I AM A CHRISTIAN ALSO BUT WILLNOT FORGIVE A CHEATING WIFE............DONT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DONT BELIEVE ME?????? TAKE HER BACK AND WATCH WHAT HAPPENS...GOODLUCK!!!
ANDY | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 8/8/2007 11:08:34 AM | I wish you the best of luck trying to decide what you really want to do on this one.
I have been down that road. I even went so far as to remarry after my ex had cheated on me. Then with in 2 years it was right back to the same things. I have to agree with some of the others here.
Sounds like she has had her fun. But wants your security before it is to late. Then after the security is put back in place she will continue to be the person that dumped you for what was suppose to be her best friends husband.
Sounds like she is just as bad of a friend as she is a partner. and only cares about herself. You don't screw over your friend and you don't cheat on your husband and it didn't bother her to do both.
Your faith has nothing to do with the fact that she will do nothing more than torment your life. You have the right to persue happiness. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 8/9/2007 1:50:36 PM | | She cheated before. You will still be you and she will still be who she has always been. I think you will always have trust issues with her. If you can move on, maybe that would be best in the end. If however you can't move on, or maybe you want to be back in the home full time with the kids, then maybe go back. I vote to end it. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 9/6/2007 5:54:04 AM | | i dont know if this is to late,...but taking her back after all she has done shows more than faith,..it shows her that she is able to do anything and still get away with it! your daughter is very smart and you also for following your beliefs....but you should also teach her that adultry isnt a thing that should be forgotten!forgive yes,...but you will never forget! | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 10/3/2007 12:01:40 AM | Without knowing the background of the marriage and the issues that led to your separation - the stated betrayal aside - I can offer no insight that is worth your while to read.
A couple of possibilities come to mind though. You know your wife, presumably, and she knows you. Women who stick it in your face are usually embittered and want revenge. Whether there is a 'real' reason or an imagined one, is not the point. Is it possible that she felt so furious and vengeful (and remember, the reasons could be either /or/ both objectively valid/emotionally valid to her) that she wanted to kick you to your knees?
You would know best, I think.
Another p0ssibility - she IS off her rocker and is prepared to make a game of cat and mouse with your lives.
And a last possibility - she really is having second thoughts, watched too much daytime TV, fantasizes of a happy reunion and a new start after her 'brief burst of freedom'.
Again, you would know best. She's your wife.
Me, I think an affair is something that can happen to anyone who is vulnerable - feeling unloved, not valued, afraid of the competition, not listened to (and this is VERY important to all women), not respected.. NOT DESIRED. All of us are imperfect beings with many flaws, and of these, false or negative pride is surely the worst.
How or if a couple have any right business attempting to rebuild depends on so many factors - internal, emotional factors, and the fact of your shared responsibilities: children being number ONE among these. Forget the mortgage.. chances are the house will be falling into the ground soon enough anyway the way they build 'em. KIDS MUST COME FIRST.
My last word here is this: if the affair or separation came with massive and obvious disregard for YOU AS A HUMAN, my friend, or was brought about by your own disregard for YOUR WIFE AS A HUMAN, or if in fact you BOTH treated each other with cruelty, disdain, or violence whether emotional or otherwise - you're done, buddy.
A dog that gets used to biting will do it again. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 10/3/2007 12:27:34 AM | For the love of God do not take her back. What she caroused around like a tramp, made you look like a fool and now wants to come crawling back??? No way. How can you ever trust her again. Your kids would have no respect for you if you took her back. I hope for your sake that you don't.
Let us know what's going on. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 10/3/2007 3:35:40 AM | as a woman who was married to a cheater....
I can tell you of my experience and you can take a taste of what i lived. After being married for abotu 4 years....he was aught having an illicit affair with a coworker (my hubby worked with my dad), talk abotu stupidity on both thier parts. well i was 23-24 and had 3 kids under 4 so i forgave him in my heart...becasue i elt it was my fault becasue i was not attending to my wifely duties....for the next 14 years he would for ever accuse me of cheating as if i had the opportunity with the kids in tow all of the tme.
well...afer 15 years of marriage i once again caught him....which led me to start thinking how many others were ther that i didnt catch becasue i was too busy doign the right thing like running kids fron cativity to activty....and working more than a full time job...going to school....and his ability to have sex was extremely diminished..( he was tested by a urologiest nothing medical...
well when he was caught for that last time...it seemed that his problem was that he was getting he tail wagged elsewhere and there for had nothing left for me.
and n all those years although inmy heart i forgave hiim...in the back of my head i never forgot...every time he was late or when he just wanted to take a walk..and was gone for a few hours.....well i would be imagining what was going on..
If you are able to fully forgive i give you a great eal of courage...I just wasnt able to do it.
red | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 10/3/2007 7:28:51 AM | the damage is done, there is nothing to restore!
once a cheater always a cheater!
i was married for 10 years and my ex wife cheated on me one time and i divorced her.
i dont deal with cheaters, why go out for burgers when ya have steak at home!! | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 10/3/2007 8:28:03 AM | You say your all christians? is she really? wow
Scuse my ignorance im not religious at all but im pretty sure in the bible it says 'must not commit adultry' or somethin?
I agree with posts that say shes run out of options, course she has and wats more i believe she'll do it all over again.
I dont think your what she really wants and your post lacks passion.
No where in it have you said , i love her i want this.
I understand you have a child but it not necesarily better for her for you two to be back together and put her through this.
Your child needs to see to parents lovin her/him and puttin her first not bein worried bout wether mother is in bed with yet another man.
Question is do you love her enough to trust her complicitly? | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 10/3/2007 8:37:00 AM | | My ex came back to me bawling after 10 years she screwed around with a 22 year old. She is unhappy because the little guy couldn't satisfy her inbetween the sheets and the next guy she hooked up with after 5 months can't do it either. It is unfortunate because I would have given anything for her to be faithful. Bottom line though she can't make a commitment. To answer your question now. Will you ever be able to trust her. I can tell you right now if she cheated on you and you have kids she does not love you nor did she think of her kids needs. Might make you mad but go out and find you a woman that has some scruples. Your ex isn't worth it. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 10/3/2007 8:47:05 AM | Usually, once a cheater, always a cheater. I'd divorce her, then if you feel she is sincere, set down very strict guidelines and begin dating again. First guideline being she has to go to counseling. Try a website called marriagebuilders.com; it has great tips on what do to where there is infidelity.
Good luck! | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 10/3/2007 10:50:27 AM | I agree. She needed an expriation date like a gallon of milk that way a guy can start making plans for the next one prior to it going sour. Go out young man find you a woman and make passionate love to her for a couple months. You'll soon forget your ex and will have no troubles remembering how bad she was to you.
If you can't remember your past, you will repeat it. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 10/3/2007 9:37:17 PM | well thats a big giant mess... I am so sorry for you... but love is eternal... all I have to say is if you love her you will know what the right thing to do is... You will know what will help her learn and what you'll teach about commitment.... remember your daughter sees and hears everything through your love and actions. Good luck and May GOD bless you all in this time of tribulation. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 10/4/2007 6:16:02 AM | I was cheated on, I rescinded, and I got financially abused in that period in between before I filed again. I wish I never let up!! He tried to talk me back in a second time and I said, even with a few positive contributions you may have made, I cant' ignore the fact that you have behaved irresponsibly and hatefully toward me.
I am still waiting, still getting financially abused, and still stuck in an abusive marriage.
I say dont look back. Get out and find someone who thinks you're worth their time!! Dont waste your time on someone who did that to you. | |
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