| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 10/7/2007 10:24:40 PM | A man I was engaged to cheated on me with 2 women at the same time. I found out from one of the "other women" on my cell phone inbox messages. Anyway....I was so deeply in love with him and I was devastated. He hinted he wanted to come back to me. Even though I loved him totally, I absolutely said NO WAY! My point being....how could I ever trust him again? How could I ever believe it when he said I love you? He said it before and even when he was cheating on me. I'd always have that in the back of my mind. I'd be paranoid at even the little things that he did. It was not worth the stress and heartache to be in a relationship full of distrust. Let's just say "I loved the man he used to be, not the man he became." Plus...what message would that have sent to my daughters? I had to be an example to them and be strong enough to take care of myself.
I wish you the best in whatever decision you make. Only you know the answer. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 10/9/2007 10:03:33 AM | Dear Zeanah59,
I am confused...Your post says "Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage"..it was a MAN you were engaged to, right?? Am I reading this right, or did someone ELSE post this message?? At least that is what I read into the message you posted about him cheating on you with not ONE but TWO women at the SAME time. If this was a man who cheated on you, bummer, and good riddence to HIM!  You did the RIGHT thing, kicking him to the curb....
And, while I believe in FORGIVNESS, the damage has been done and you are right on again in saying you can never trust him again.  I have had that done to me in my past, also loved him very deeply, long story. I forgave him, gave him a second chance but the damage had been done, I too, could never trust him again...so I left. So, I can relate to your heart being broken and wondering what you did to deserve this betrayal. Honey, it was NOT your fault...apparently from what you wrote, He is the one who strayed...I do not know the circumstances, and not one to judge, but I DO know that NO ONE deserves this kind of betrayal, and if one or the other is unhappy with the relationship, LEAVE....WHY hurt the other?? Nuf' said.
Hang in there sweetie, there ARE HONEST men out there, and while I have not found one YET, I am not giving up that there is SOMEONE out there who wants HONEST, LOVING, TRUSTING, LOYAL women like you and me... And just cause' ONE bad apple is in the bunch, that doesnt' mean they are ALL bad, find a GOOD one and go on with your life! Time heals ALL wounds and wounds ALL heels!! The best is YET to come!! Don't spend ANOTHER sleepless night because of him, he is NOT worth it! There is a good guy out there for you, I TRULY believe it!
My prayers are with you honey...hang in there! | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 10/10/2007 6:51:49 PM | | dont take her back ive been there done that and they do think your a door mat...once a cheater always ...my ex of 3 months cheated i went back treated me like crap...cheated again this time i found them in our bed same girl from last summer...ta boot homless..crack head omg never going back...hope if u do it work but the trust is gone never the same...move on lots of hotties out there ... | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 10/11/2007 2:00:02 PM | normally I just joke around on here because most people threads are silly, but yours is deep and true so ill dive in a bit more.
Ive been through it. theres a book called "how to survive and affair" read it it will answer all your emotions your going though and thinking about. I would finish the divorce, you can always remarry her but she might flake out on you then your back at square one. I would finalize the divorce and work on being friends and not call it a relationship, but maybe a healing time and a time to rebuild broken trusts. your a christian the bible says you can divorce her for not being faithfull. She needs to do most of the work, and if in the meantime you meet someone els or she does, well then atleast you can be friends and share custody of your daughter. | |
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 11/5/2007 12:54:35 PM | It was my understanding that this gentleman had already made diligent efforts, which amounts to a forgiving spirit. I respectfully reject your suggestion as a very wrong one and I give only a few reasons.
The God that I serve, speaking through His Spirit, tells us that when an unbeliever departs, they should be allowed to make their exit. It further says that God has called us to peace.
We know this woman calls herself a christian, but there is NO fruit of the Spirit because fornication is a work of the flesh (Gal. 5). She has made fornication her choice and shows no sign of repentance.
This gentleman and their children are already victims of this sinful betrayal. She is showing her real desires. While I feel very sorry for her, it appears that spiritual things didn't take shape in her life.
God obligates good folks to keep their marriage vows to one another. He never commands us to drag around such a burden. He is the God of peace. When covenant breakers do their stuff, there is a breach and the innocent party has been given a clear out {see Matthew 5 & 19} for the words of Christ.
So, let this man have his peace. He has obviously made more effort than the villianous wife deserves. Nothing in truth even suggests that God would shackle a person to such a onerous situation.
The truth sets us free. Christ has called us to freedom. Three are many issues here, but the most glaring one is a christian might backslide and in their free will, make the choice to live under the reign of sin. This makes them a defacto sinner/unbeliever and we are not to be yoked unequally with them. Not to menti0n that love is dead.
Ken
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| Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage???
Posted: 11/5/2007 2:26:57 PM | | My heart bleeds for you 'ready2dateagain'. My last husband was an ordained minister but on the side he was playing...still hard to understand. After he left I let him waltz in and out of my life because I felt obligated to the marriage...based on forgiveness which I felt I should have had....you understand right? But plain and simple, since you are a christian.....she has committed adultery and is definitely emotionally abusive to you. Only you know your heart and what you are willing to accept. So the choice is up to you.....keep her or toss her. | |
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