| My b/f of 3 months is still active on this site, BUT I TRUST HIM
Posted: 4/10/2007 4:03:49 AM | All you need to know is that you are with him now for 6 months & that same goes for me with mine of 3 months---- eventhough he is trying to meet other people in here the only thing that you have to worry about if he doesnt include you on the mix. They both made a committed to us... So basically they want to meet other women but in their heart & mind they belong to us.
The only thing that bothers me is like times where he talks to other women friends... I would greatly appreciate the "common courtesy of being introduce to his friends" that "he has a GF now".
I have mentioned to all my friends which is majority MEN that I have a BF now because I am proud to introduce him to them (I expect the same from my BF, AL).
*I mean like mentioning you on his profile and such that is a big deal for me. My BF, Al knows this too well. *
With me being active in here also- as you read my profile- it reveals to u - it mostly tells you about "how happy I am with my BF AL & what I am all about" & that I am here to just "reply and read forums" which I enjoy doing but meeting other ppl offline is "out of the question" because We are in a stable relationship--- MY BF, AL & MYSELF- for me to meet other ppl from here...... | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/10/2007 4:26:17 AM | I think after 6 months, you have the right to ask where things are going between the two of you and to tell him you don't appreciate him still looking online.
How would he feel if you started looking, I am not saying to do it, as two wrongs don't make a right.....but i think you get the point. | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/10/2007 3:33:16 PM | | Okay, in Mandolin16's defense here.... I did the same thing too kinda.. I caught my ex on a dating site, and I created a fake profile and actually chatted with him as someone else to see if he'd take the bait.. I was obviously stupid at the time to think he wouldn't.. cuz he was on here.. why else wouldn't he?! But aside from that.. I know what you're going through with this.. my best advice... DUMP HIS ASS!!! He is not worth it. If he really cared for you, and only you, he would not be interested in online dating. Trust me on this one. I learned the hard way.. and you will too. | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/10/2007 3:52:09 PM | | I know your probally tired of hearing this, but you need to put the breaks on this relationship. I have been through this.....Except it took me 3 years before I was able to find out. You need to ask him why he is still on these sites....His answer will tell you what you need to do....If there is doubt now, this early, and the fact that you made this post, I think deep down you know the answer...I wish you the best of luck. | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/11/2007 6:13:06 PM | Well I totally agree with that... Anyone who is in a relationship whether its less or longer than 6 month its a matter of PRINCIPLE- WHEN YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A BF/GF you have to be LOYAL, HONEST & no SECRETS with the one you are with & much so introduce them openly to your FAMILY & FRIENDS without Hesitation except if you are Embarassed to be seen with them or you are hiding SECRETS to be with them COMPLETELY....
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I read this on another forum......
(What would you do if you were in this situation???)
Posted: 4/10/2007 8 36 AM
So my friend met a guy off this site and they have been seeing each other for about 6 months now.. She discovered one day when she was going to remove her profile that it looks like he has created another profile with all of the same information that he had in his original profile but worded differently. Now before you ask how she knows this.. She went into the viewed me section just to see who has looked at her and that is when she say his picture staring back at her. It is not a picture that she has seen before and it only shows his face and nothing more. His original profile is hidden but the one he created he is on it daily chatting and Instant messaging women. Her profile is hidden so that no one can contact her but she is frequently in the forums responding. Now she does not know what to do, she wants to confront him but would feel horrible if it was not him and ruin what she has with him. What would you do?
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Well I dont know- if this is something that anyone in" a relationship" should be weary about .... i know I am not because "I TRUST MY BF, AL enough" to have doubts that this would happen because we both dont like HEADGAMES/MINDGAMES & if the case turns out this way then he isnt a MAN OF HIS WORD.
But I do care & love my BF, Al so much to think this would happen because I truly believe in a monogamous relationship(same as him)- our relationship is based on TRUST, HONESTY, OPEN COMMUNICATION & we both are HAPPY & CONTENTED of what we have accomplished for 3 months of our relationship.
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/11/2007 7:33:56 PM | oh dear, I never post but this time I just had to :)
I'm sorry to say this but I believe your boyfriend wants to keep his options open because he is not commited to you still. And if you can't trust him I don't see why you would want to stay with him in the first place :) | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/11/2007 8:39:03 PM |
While this may be something to be concerned about, it may not be. I have seen many people in the forums that use this site even though they have found someone. They do it simply for making friends and using the forum......................
I tend to agree with master_3, as long as the commication is there and they are not hiding anything and its all innocent then yeah, why not!!! I have a b/f and he is on here, we both come on. I check out the forums and keep in touch with g/friends I have made. Test him! See if he will show you who he chats with, and whats been said. If he does, great!!! If he won't then you know he is hiding something, and would definately be concerned. Good Luck! | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/12/2007 7:06:05 AM | I wouldn't jump to any hard conclusions just yet. The guy i'm seeing and I myself, are still on a few sites. We both know about, were more less just looking for the sake of looking and well keep in contact with others we have made friends with etc...
Plus if it really bothers you, really just try talking to him about it ... I went through it at first myself, we talked about it and well... all is good. | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/13/2007 12:52:54 AM | well first if there were forums I might think that he would want to try to lern how to improove his existing relationship with you by reading other posts.
in reality it could mean he's not ready either.
However...before jumping to conclusions mybe you should try sking him why he still logs onto these dating sites and dilogue from there. | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/13/2007 1:06:21 AM | OMG!!!!
There sure are alot of INSECURITY goin on here!
I have been DIVORCED for almost 8 YEARS. Been in the dating scene on and off and 3 men actually dropped EVERYTHING to move to me. PERIOD. Their jobs. Their homes. EVERYTHING.
Did i ask them to? HECK NO!!!
I told them not to and they would have to find an apt, because they would NOT be moving IN with me.....
One stayed 3 years, one 1....We are still the best of friends.
I have met lots of peeps online and off. I love sites and forums and have groups, one since 2001. There is really nothing about the DATING on it...its simply FRIENDSHIP , and i have MET SO MANY great fantabulous new friends in my group, have been able to vacation, go to new places, and do great and fabulous things, and thru these forums, threads stretch into other threads and groups and many wonderful friend of mine have met new mates!!!
If we cant trust each OTHER, who in heck CAN we trust?
i dont get it? "checkin in on" what were you checkin, exactley?
to see what he saw, said, acted ???? Sometimes we all need outlets and just because someone says something, dont mean they would actually DO it anyhow! The ONLINE tactic has helped a whole host of peeps who otherwize have been intraverted and shy to make FRIENDS!
I say give him a break, Hunii! | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/13/2007 1:46:23 AM | | If he is still active on dating sites...don't give a f*ck what his excuse is! He's still looking!! I had a man post an ad on here after we started seeing each other and said it was a joke to me. You're freakin' right, it was a joke on me...he was still looking! | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/13/2007 1:03:21 PM | Now IMPO there are two main strategic courses for action and oddly enough, one is exact opposite of the other!!!
a) Dump him, move on. never look back, or
b) Claim what you want, his commitement, using all the above the table "marketing' and "strategic" and "tactical" tools known for these kind of things. Are you gonna let some online dates and a possible addiction of his to online dating (or just friends) keep ou from a man you have invested 6 months on? Claim your rights, give the competition a run for its money if you think this guy is worth it of course, else what are you doing with him in the firstplace (those 6 months). | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/13/2007 3:09:06 PM | I had a girl friend we had been together about 6 months. I was still on multiple dating sites and I had my favorite chat rooms. Whats up with that all of you may say.
I was in a 14 year marriage before that,then the a harsh divorce, during the marriage she had her family and friends. I had none. When it was all over she kept everything including our friends. I was alone and it was hard.
So, I kept other humans in my life during my 6 month relationship through chat rooms and sites like POF. When it ended it was easier to transition because I had other people in my life. I dont come to these sites to date for the most part but because I am interested in people. Maybe he is just not intersted in you being his everything. Thats crazy, lol ,I never want to be anybodies everything. And the big guy up top said it well never make any one a priority that makes you an option. | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/13/2007 8:19:04 PM | For those of you who commented on mandolin16 being here on a dating site herself, you should also notice her profile is NOT active.
If this guy is still active on dating sites for the past 6 months into their relationship, then he's not committed and he's still looking. This guy can't even be honest with himself let alone be honest with the lady he's in a relationship with. This guy wants to have his cake and eat it too. An "online dating addiction"? NO! Looking for other women? YES! Give him a taste of his own medicine. Post a profile of your own on the dating sites you know he's on. Then back off from him. If he notices your profile and asks why you're on the dating sites, then confront him on why he's still there. If he knows you're not happy about him being on the dating sites and he continues to stay on them, then give him an ulitmatum. After 6 months if he can't be in a committed relationship with you in this time(obviously he's not). Then you have the right to be looking as he is. | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/13/2007 9:00:03 PM | | So? Dating sites aren't always used for dating. For example, I am on this site but I am not looking for dates, I'm looking for some cool people to chat to. There is nothing wrong with him being active on dating sites. Get worried when he starts dating. | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/14/2007 2:14:33 AM | RUNNNN FORESTTTTTT RUNNNNNNNNN!
not trying to be unkind but, your a stop in a storm , ol reliable , that worn pair of jeans. think hun love is not somthing to give away easy you put your heart and soul into it, When you give it make sure the person you want to give it to deserves it.(sorry to say in this case "NOT"). DON'T keep moving foward.sit down together and talk.or move on , the longer you wait the more It will hurt latter. | |
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rprp
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Joined: 7/2/2005
Msg: 44 | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/14/2007 9:40:03 AM | When you give it make sure the person you want to give it to deserves it
Would the fellow poster like to elaborate a tad on what specific criteria the "deserve" criterion entails in this case or in general? The assertion "deserves" some more clarity, IMO. Give what? a) Love, b) sex, c) Eros (in love) or d) commitment? Isn't love "unconditional" w/o expectations of reciprocity (Relationships, like all mutual benefit based "parterships", of course are more reciprocity based - they have to maximize both "shareholders'" "value" and ROI)? | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/14/2007 10:08:45 AM |
No what is that line from the movie ............. "What we have here is a failure to communicate".
The line is from "Cool Hand Luke" and it is relevent here. If you are dating someone seriously for 6 months it's way past time to talk about what your expectations are for the relationship. If you expect exclusivity you need to say that. If you expect the other person to not date other people you need to say that.
Communication between men and women who are dating seems to be one of the biggest problems out there. Come on people, talk to each other about something other than the weather and the latest sports scores. | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/14/2007 2:04:25 PM | So you have been seeing someone for six months. Congratulations that's a land mark in dating. Especially if you met on a dating sight.
Thing is.. if he is still on dating sights how can you possibly say you are taking him seriously?
How can you possibly go six months with someone and not talk about deleting your profiles and going exclusive? How can you possibly not know where you stand in his life.
Time for The Talk.....or the Walk!!!!! | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/14/2007 7:23:53 PM | Know yourself and what makes you feel confortable. If you feel this is a bad thing, then find another bus.
Sorry - my step dad told me after my second divorce that men are like busses, if one doesn't take you where you want to go, then find another - I just laugh at him and tell him I have my own ferrari, why would I want to take the bus?  | |
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