Mugen3
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Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 26 | |
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| You know you're getting older when...
Posted: 3/14/2008 9:21:29 PM | When you discover that the secret to making yourself drink the prune juice is to spike it with Vodka. Then you can poo AND feel really good about it.  | |
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| You know you're getting older when...
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:51:50 PM | Very Cute !!!!
When you begin to look forward to a dull evening.
Your favorite part of the newspaper is "20 Years Ago Today."
You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons
Your back goes out more than you do.
You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
You're asleep, but others worry you just may be dead.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
You are proud of your lawn mower.
Your best friend is dating someone half their age...and isn't breaking any laws.
You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challange.
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
You have a dream about prunes.
You answer a question with, "because I said so."
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
Your eyes won't get much worse.
There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first  | |
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| You know you're getting older when...
Posted: 3/16/2008 11:38:16 AM | Your'e asleep, and others think you may be dead!!!!
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first!! ROFLMAO
I just love it, and SO TRUE!!
My grandkids are now instructed to call 911 if they cant wake grandma up!! | |
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| You know you're getting older when...
Posted: 3/21/2008 2:53:30 AM | ... you are cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of by the police.
... you throw a wild party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
... you have to find your glasses so you can search for your teeth
and last but not least... you learn where your prostrate is.  | |
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| You know you're getting older when...
Posted: 3/21/2008 2:55:02 AM | George Carlin on Age
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60 ...
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I 'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!! | |
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| You know you're getting older when...
Posted: 3/22/2008 6:28:52 AM | -you finally get your head together and your body falls apart
-you remember being absent minded
-it takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump
-when your semi annual erection becomes an annual semi | |
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| You know you're getting older when...
Posted: 3/22/2008 11:09:11 AM | Moms shouldn't be off limits. some of them mature so beautifully and get better with age and experience. Remember for many of us, Mom helped make us who we are today. We owe her! | |
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| You know you're getting older when...
Posted: 3/23/2008 6:32:01 AM | | You eat your favourite meal, watch your favourite movie, and read your favourite book EVERY day, and never tire of it cause you can't remember doing it yesterday! | |
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| You know you're getting older when...
Posted: 3/23/2008 7:09:05 PM | You have to strategically place the shampoo, conditioner and body wash in the order in which you need to use them because you cannot tell which ones are which without wearing your glasses in the shower.  | |
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| You know you're getting older when...
Posted: 3/23/2008 7:19:38 PM | OLD AGE The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.
Old age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over my body -- the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And, often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, and my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avant garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read until 4 a.m. and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's, and if I at the same time wish to weep over a lost one, I will. I will walk the beach in a swimsuit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon, if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten -- and I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say, "No," and mean it. I can say "Yes," and mean it. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. | |
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