| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/9/2007 3:18:29 PM |
if rejection is made as passive voice is being utilized, the inference of arrogance could be justified. arrogance is not indicated when the voice used is active.
this explanation is being appreciated.
and i have very pretentious dresses. | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/9/2007 3:20:10 PM | | Well then I am sure that the men who don't want to meet girls are very fond of them. :) | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/9/2007 3:24:48 PM | Okay, OP, give the ladies a break for a moment. Seriously now, what effort have you expended? You have a no pic post it not profile with a headline that says "pizz off"!! How can you honestly expect anyone to take you seriously? I'm sure there's plenty of sincere guys who are frustrated and some ladies who think maybe too highly of themselves. But really now, you're expecting to attract any fish using that bait?
People can only help you if you're trying to help yourself and call me pretentious but I don't see where you've expended a modicum of effort. | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/9/2007 3:28:55 PM | It's simple really: the more options a girl has with respect to dating, the more picky she will become.
It's like if you coul donly choose from 5 different styles of dress when you are 10, but then as you grow boobies and your legs lengthen and you grow a butt and hips that protrude just right your options increase 5 fold. Then yu have a selection of 25 guys but you can only pick one. SO the girl gets more and more selective in which mate she thinks is the best for her criteria as more and more guys flock to her attention. It becomes like Canadian Tire and she has all the coupons dude.
You can't fault the girl for simply having more options. She is just workin with what she's given. It's human nature.
As far as being pretentious, when I hear the owrd pretentouos i think of someone who cares more about how sshe will be perceived by others for her actions and opinions so she acts fake and standoffish despite what she really feels inside | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/9/2007 3:30:57 PM |
But really now, you're expecting to attract any fish using that bait? Aren't catfish bottom feeders?  | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/9/2007 7:13:38 PM | I used specifics, examples and very succinctly described the problem. But, several women attacked the message because of two reasons: 1) they didn't like it and 2) they missed the point
It's not about preference. I'm going by profiles and posts from women in various threads. It has nothing to do with my own private messages to girls (although, I suppose it could if I messaged more girls) as I haven't been doing that for a while now. I'm using the forum for advice, info and insight.
I posted my opinion and backed it up with my own observations and experiences. I don't think I'm far off especially when you consider the guys' responses in this thread.
I think the "preference thing" is a bunch of baloney and justification for the attitudes I was talking about. I abandoned updating and changing my profile a while ago but I don't think that should be an issue. This was not a post about profiles/private messages but expressions of women with these attitudes. How can you determine the 'preference' based on one message? I can make an assumption based on certain text. If you're saying my profile 'sucks', I can say this girl sounds pretentious based on what she has in her profile or what she posts. I can say I've perceived this attitude in real life situations. It might not even relate to direct experience but observation in which I'm not even involved. I see this attitude is acceptable and encouraged based on the premise that these are about 'preferences' and denials that it's bad or undesirable. I never said honesty was bad in this context. Yeah, if a girl is going to be picky, pretentious or superficial but she's honest in doing so, that's fine. But, don't expect that criticism is unwarranted just because of the honesty. It's one thing to be honest. But, another to also exhibit negative traits. If I steal, injure or otherwise do something morally wrong or undesirable but I'm honest about it, that doesn't mean I'm a decent person or have values, does it? Of course not. So, why is being honest about being pretentious or overly picky a good thing? | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/9/2007 7:23:42 PM | RE: "woe as me post."
No one told you to reply then. I'm talking about that as well. Women who take it upon themselves to judge a post and then call it 'whining' and have this selfish attitude that if anyone has a complaint, it is "whining" or unimportant. When a girl has a complaint or concern, everyone is jumping over each other trying to help. Poor girl. She was treated badly or should recognize when she's being taken advantage of or should take better care of herself. She should move on or whatever. When a guy posts or is complaining, he's whining. Double standard? If a guy is a player or is called a nice guy, he's either an a-hole or a wimp, respectively. Why do you think there's so many, "I'm a nice guy, why can't I get anywhere? Should I be a jerk?" Girls laugh and then say it won't work as they're on to it. At the same time, many women are claiming they can be picky and not settle. What the heck does that mean? Are you quantifying guys or putting them on levels of quality? Are they dogs at a dog show? I don't notice guys having this kind of language. They aren't always talking about 'not wanting to settle.' They might talk about looks but often add that they want a good personality but it's usually not about settling/not settling. Women describe it terms that they 'deserve' something. They're entitled? That's part of the pretentiousness angle, isn't it?
These are observations. If I'm so wrong, how come the ones trying to defend the criticism in the complaint sounded so hostile, sarcastic and arrogant? | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/9/2007 7:28:25 PM | if she is being honest in what she wants THANK GOD at least you know ahead of time without the games.
now if your dealing with a PRINCESS this is what i do.... since most (if not all) princesses are waaaay out of my leuge and they expect me to suck up and grovel for any attention i just turn the tables on them ;) i will be in a group of friends where a princess will show up (by herself or with with her fellow princesses) and try to be the center of attention, i then let them get there foot shoved so far in their mouth i cant help but say something to push their heel right on in. it really messes with their head since they expect you to kiss the ground they walk on and they end up up with their jaw dropped in disbeleif 
just be true to yourself, if you have to suck up to get her she is spoiled and not worth your time. if she is just being honest then i respect her honesty and im cool with that | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/9/2007 7:30:57 PM | | Markie, good point. You're right, that's what one should do. I was just wondering about the psychological aspect of it. Girls can say you're whining when complaining about it but girls are excused when being that way. 'Strange logic. | |
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LBP
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 35 | |
| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/9/2007 7:38:03 PM | You have to understand many women not girls will set high demands for men because of past experiences and relationships. I am picky. Too picky at that matter. However I can't let myself go with any joe blow.
BINGO!!!
Has to have a good self-esteem
Translation: been burned by too many guys who have had a poor self-esteem and took it out on me.
Must be intelligent
Translation: Have been with guys who don't stimulate me mentally and I got bored
I'm independent:
Translation: Fear dependence, possibility is that they've had dependency issues in past relationships and it was used as a means to control them. Very important for these types to preserve a sense of independence because of that.
I don't like to be smothered:
Translation: I've been single a long time and kind of have to ease a guy into my life. You don't get your tentacles in every area of my life until I'm sure its going somewhere or you're mature enough that if it doesn't work out, you won't impact those areas of my life. I've been stalked, I've had a guy put a key stroke tracking virus on my computer, ....if I get a whif he's controlling or he tries to smother me, I may very well bolt.
Must have a job:
Been sucked dry by moochers in the past and there will be no repeat performances | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/9/2007 7:43:54 PM | alex it is whining but we cant change it and princesses will always act spoiled so we might as well find a way to get a good laugh along the way
once again if she is being honest, cool but no holds barred on princesses  | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/9/2007 7:47:54 PM | LBP, I acknowledge and accept most of those rationalizations. I'm not going to deny that women haven't had bad experiences or been burned by guys. But, logic should dictate that they probably have a pattern of picking the wrong guys or there were hints beforehand to warn them. If there weren't, it still isn't justification for an extreme attitude of being picky and dismissing guys they don't even know yet. Your other translations suggest arrogance and pretentiousness. Just re-read them. Whatever else could it demonstrate?
Why do girls tend to think they're exempt of any bad characteristics or issues? Are guys more forgiving of issues than girls are? | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/9/2007 7:48:15 PM | "I was just wondering about the psychological aspect of it." Well there ya go...good thinking, take advantage of the opportunity. Do your research and write a book. Many others have and made a fortune. Just make sure you have a good literary agent, that is the key.  | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/9/2007 7:53:33 PM |
Girls will say they demand this and that and build themselves up.
Well I think that everyone has an idea of what they want from a relationship. Some may be more specific in their profiles than others. This demanding attitude is definitely not gender specific.
because in a comparison of guys and girls, it will be the guys who espouse more admirable values than girls since most girls are spoiled or capitalize on guys who want to meet girls.
I actually do not see this a whole lot, with the exception of the extraordinarily beautiful women. But then again, if you are an average joe chasing a beautiful woman who is being chased by every average joe and goodlooking guy...what do you expect? | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/9/2007 8:10:08 PM | | Not an excuse or anything but given your age, I'm guessing you're mostly looking for women in their 20's and 30's. Attractive (dare I say even "decent-looking") women in their mid 20's to mid 30's can have just about anybody they want. Men their age want them, older men want them, younger men want them.... you get my drift. I don't think it necessarily has to translate into arrogance but they have a lot of options, ya know? ... and given that there are just so many hours in a day, they can't take all of them. | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/9/2007 8:27:44 PM | | you know , i am just a dude that would like to chit chat, but i find that most of you dont find the time,to chat maybe i am ugly , or maybe i am boring, that is fine. But you should give us a chance. | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/10/2007 11:10:10 AM | LBP has an excellent point. We do form our boundaries using our past experiences, and there is not one thing wrong with that, in point of fact, it is emotionally healthy. It shows we are learning from past experiences and are ready to move on.
But, logic should dictate that they probably have a pattern of picking the wrong guys or there were hints beforehand to warn them. If there weren't, it still isn't justification for an extreme attitude of being picky and dismissing guys they don't even know yet. It's a well known fact that many men are not as communicative about what they are thinking and feeling as women are. Why not criticize men for not being open?
Why do girls tend to think they're exempt of any bad characteristics or issues? Are guys more forgiving of issues than girls are? Women are far more forgiving than men are regarding issues. If you don't believe this, studies show that of 10 women married to alcoholics, only one will leave, while out of 10 men married to alcoholics, only one will stay.
RE: "woe as me post." It's "woe is me."
When a girl has a complaint or concern, everyone is jumping over each other trying to help. Poor girl. She was treated badly or should recognize when she's being taken advantage of or should take better care of herself. You apparently don't read the forums much. Women get flamed just as much as the men do. I recall a particular thread where a woman was asking for help regarding a stalker, and was repeatedly told by the men that she had somehow invited it. They were actually making excuses for very bad behaviour.
Women describe it terms that they 'deserve' something. They're entitled? That's part of the pretentiousness angle, isn't it? Men think they deserve things as well. They usually just don't say it up front. You find out too late, most of the time.
These are observations. If I'm so wrong, how come the ones trying to defend the criticism in the complaint sounded so hostile, sarcastic and arrogant? Welcome to the forums. If you can't take the snow get off the north pole. Don't take what everyone says so completely to heart, since they see it from their perspective, which may be drastically different from yours. That being said, you are a scosh over defensive here.
you know , i am just a dude that would like to chit chat, but i find that most of you dont find the time,to chat maybe i am ugly , or maybe i am boring, that is fine. But you should give us a chance. I hate to break it to you, but many of the women do not use the chat feature here. We have learned by experience that it is a very bad idea. | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/10/2007 11:38:22 AM | LBP Come on!!
Must have a job:
Been sucked dry by moochers in the past and there will be no repeat performances
I'm independent:
Translation: Fear dependence, possibility is that they've had dependency issues in past relationships and it was used as a means to control them.
Has to have a good self-esteem
Translation: been burned by too many guys who have had a poor self-esteem and took it out on me.
Maybe males should start making the same demands!! The above 3 statements would eliminate the bulk of the female population on this site! | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/11/2007 11:32:20 AM | | That's right!! Bet you'd notice if NO ONE approached you!!! | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/11/2007 11:37:20 AM | if you are an average joe chasing a beautiful woman who is being chased by every average joe and goodlooking guy...what do you expect?
I expect her to get her head out of her ass and try being polite to people! | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/11/2007 11:38:15 AM | if you are an average joe chasing a beautiful woman who is being chased by every average joe and goodlooking guy...what do you expect?
I expect her to get her head out of her ass and try being polite to people! | |
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| why be so pretentious?
Posted: 4/11/2007 11:48:42 AM | maybe no one is really being pretentious
(and both males and females can be pretentious)
maybe what's happening in cyber world is people are finding out
they aren't as smart as they thought they were...aren't as desirable...aren't as
important. cyber world opens you to a world beyond your circle of friends...and its not always the nice comfortable place you hoped it would be.
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