| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/15/2007 5:34:43 PM | Sweethangtoo-i think that you should, with a completely open mind just read Oxladys question to you on the last page (message 119.
It sums it up-she mentions that, of the posts on this thread, from children who did not see their dads alot as kids-not ONE has written stating they were happy to be separated from their natural father as kids. That should tell you something.
All i ask is you read her post once. | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/15/2007 5:50:08 PM | | HI cheeky.. what a frustrating time.. As a woman in your shoes.. I say let him suffer with out her... dont give him the satisfaction.. but as a MOTHER.. I have to hope that the man I chose to have a child with.. will benefit her/his life somehow. The decision should be your daughters... If she meets him and says.. mom.. i dont want to go again.. dont make her.. But give her the choice. | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/15/2007 5:52:54 PM | That would be fine and dandy if #1.If I knew where he was... 2.he would commit to it and stick with it (not likely to happen)...
But sadly he chosed to walk away therefore, I cannot force him to do anything.. Plus he has disconnected all phone numbers I had and moved and told his family to give me NO information!!!
Do I want a guy like that in my daughters life??????? I think not!!! My daughter is better off, hopefully he'll never come back besides my daughter has a wonderful father figure.... | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/15/2007 6:41:10 PM | Well first-to say that having a father around is "in alot of cases" not in the child's best interests is completely wrong-there are a FEW cases-such as where the father is violent to the child etc where it is of course not in the child's best interests to see their dad at all. But in most cases a child should be allowed a relationship with the father.
it is also a biased thing to say-what if fathers were to say on a forum that "in alot of cases" mothers are not in the childs best intersts? Both would be wrong-it is usualy in the best intersts of the chld to have some contact with BOTH parents-there should be no gender-bias here.even if it is just a little contact-and personal bitterness or anger should NEVER come into it.Children who grow up will all tell you they would rather have had some relationship with their dad-or mum-than no relationship at all-even if they do not say this when they are younger. It is totally inaccurate that it is "in alot of cases" not in the child's best interests to not have one parent around.
Of course that parent should act responsibly-but the child must be given a chance to see the other parent-and i hope Cheeky gives her child the chance.
But you wont meet an adult whose mum did not let them see their dad as a kid-who will tell you they are happy about that.
No child is happy about not having seen their father as a child, when they become an adult-the only difference is who the child ends up blaming for this.
In cases where the father walked away and NEVER came back-the child grows up- and- when he finds out-blames the dad-and hates him. BUT if the child grows up and finds out the mother never allowed him contact with the child-even after his mistakes-the child will partly blame the mother-and wont necessarily believe the excuse that you were trying to "protect" the child from the father.
Obviously sweethangtoo has tried to involve the father-and cannot do much about it as he has cut off his phone.
So at the moment it is HIS fault-as he as chosen to walk away for whatever reason-but it is not right to say i hope he stays away-if he comes back his daughter should be given a choice if she would like to spend some time with him-and of course this can be supervised. You say he is "an immature guy"-but maybe you benefited from a much better upbringing than him.
Maybe since his own mother is so bad-no one has ever shown youre ex by example how to be a good parent. If a child has not experienced good parenting themselves-then it is hard for them to grow iup and suddenly become a great parent themselves. So maybe he needs to be encouraged-but at the moment it is HIS decision to walk away-so there is nothing anyone can do-but IF he comes back the child has a right to see her dad-and should be at least given some time with him.
And-even though she calls the step-dad "daddy" now (which is natural as he is the one who lives with her )-as she gets older she will want to find her dad again-and may well blame you if she finds out you did not let him see her-before she was old enough to make the decision-and i dont want that to happen.
And i hope the lady on the thread, Cheeky, puts her justified anger at the betrayal by her daughters father aside-for the sake of her daughter. To abandon Cheeky while pregnant, for a girl he met at a bar- was a horrible thing to do-and he was clearly immature-but Cheeky should not let that stop her daughter having the chance to meet her dad.
And let us all remember this 7-year-old girl has NEVER met him-and now has a first-ever chance. It should not be passed up. And we do not know how he might have changed-believe it or not, some people genuinely can-but this is his chance to prove it-but his daughter must be given the chance even if he hasnt. He is her dad-and one day when she becomes an adult she will have questions for both her mother and father. I hope the answer to those questions does not include the words "youre dad tried to see you once but i decided to shut him out" | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/15/2007 7:17:54 PM | What I meant by alot of cases, I know alot of single moms in my area... I have seen it time and time again!
Just for correction sake, the man she calls daddy is not the man I am with nor do I live with... He is my son's father whom to I was married to at one time! He was actively involved after we split and kept a strong bond with his son... When I got involved with my daughters father, my sons father saw and witnessed alot of my daughters father BS.. My sons father stepped up because of our son and treated my daughter as his own by chose not because he had to or I asked him to... He takes both kids every other weekend and has since my daughter was a toddler... He has been a daddy to her... Those times when her bio dad disappointed her, my sons dad stepped in and loved her like a father should..
I do hope her bio dad never contacts us ever due to the fact I would not have to make a decision... She has a father, even has his last name.. Her bio-father allowed me to change her name so both kids had the same last name! If e wanted to be a dad he would fight like hell for her but he doesn't.. He cut off all ties, so to me thats unforgivable! | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/15/2007 9:09:48 PM | i hate to say it, but, depending on the resources of the "dad", you probably don't have a choice in the matter. if your brother elects not to tell him your whereabouts, there are LOTS of other ways to track you down, and if it ever gets to court for some odd reason, then you are viewed as uncooperative (which would mean little, really, since you would never lose any kind of custody to this guy). if you really wanted to cement his abscence, you should have filed for abandonment, which i believe can be done if the "father" has not had any contact with the child, or provided any support, after 2 years.
i know that deadbeats can be a real drag, but....he IS her father. my daughter's father totally screwed around with her head (she's only 3), and there are 1500 miles between us, yet i still tell her, when she talks about him that, "maybe someday he'll be ready to be a daddy". today she said (painfully), "he doesn't love me, and i don't like him" and i gently told her that he does love her, just doesn't know how to show it, and that it's "okay" with me if she says that she loves him. even in my darkest hour, i won't abd-mouth him to her, and denying your daughter the right to know her father is sort of sneaky, because she'll never know that he EXPRESSESD the interest, and i can't imagine that it would go over very well if you said, "oh, by the way...your dad wanted to spend some time with you and i just think you'd be better off not knowing him"....and trust me when i tell you that this is coming from a woman who has SERIOUS misgivings about her ex...but i would still allow him to see our daughter, no matter how much time elapsed (it has now been over a year), albeit supervised. Plus, my ex pays steep child support AND provides great health insurance benefits for her...which actually feels strange, given the lack of contact
speaking of which...if the ex is a druggy/violent, then you might just utter the words "child support" during your first conversation...and watch him run like wild-fire! good luck, and remember that some of the most PAINFUL decisions are actually the best ones for our children....kinda like NOT giving the child the candy bar, even when a temper tanrum in the grocery store is at stake! | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/16/2007 12:16:40 PM | Well he has not behaved well Sweethangtoo-that is obvious-but he does seem to have alot of problems..but reguardless IF he does show up at some point and has tried to sort himself out youre daughter still does deserve a chance to at least meet with her rql dad again- even if she is now happy wit this other guy..which is great..at least she deserves a chance to know her real dad because she will want to one day when she is grown-up and i dont want her to ever find out that you stopped him from knowing her as i have seen many well-brought-up kids turning against their mother-like some of the posters on this thread- when they found out that their dad had at least tried and been blocked from seeing them. And i would rather that did not happen. But at the moment it is him who is not seeing his daughter by choice and that is not good- i mean if the situation were to change.
By the way Chrissyfit-youre attitude is commendable..you told youre daughter even though her father has behaved contemptibly that he is STILL her father and that maybe he does love her just doenswt know how to show it and that its okay with me if she says she loves him"
That is a truly inspiring post-and i hope the mother on this thread takes youre advice and does not shut the father out of ther child's life-just like you haven't-and gives the child a chance.
You are right-she will end up resenting the mother if that girl grows up and realises it was not ALL because of the dad that she didnt ever meet him-it was PARTLY because the mother wouldnt let him.
I just went back and read the thread again fully -and read that Cheeky has not told her partner where she lives-and is hiding from him-because her brother knows the father has been looking for her-but her brother has not told him where she is-and neither has she.
It would be completely wrong if she gave him no chance whatsoever to see his daughter and continued to hide her whereabouts from him-the daughter might NEVER forgive her if she finds out that she was hidden away from her real dad as a child-before she was old enough to understand.
She will meet her father as an adult-sometime, someplace-and this information will not go down well.
I would certainly advise this mother to give her child a chance to meet her father for the first time-who knows how long he has been looking if she never told him where she lived. but reguardless the daughter must be given a chance.
I agree with Chrissyfit-who despite her ex's behaviour has still not deprived the child of her father-a wonderful example to the woman on this thread.
The father will be punished for having abandoned his daughter for 7 years one day-that day will come when he has to admit to his daughter as an adult that he never tried to see her for the first few years of her life-he will have alot of explaining to do no matter how much that girl gets to see him from now on. That will be his punsihment.
BUT to stop the dad from being able to find his daughter or the mother and not even give him a chance to speak to the mother and explain his intentions-would NOT be just punsishing the father-it would be punsihing the daughter by not even giving her one chance to see her dad in her whole childhood.And the child wont thank her for it when she grows. | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/16/2007 12:32:14 PM | | ^^^^^^^u can give your opinion on these forums...but u cant preach and tell people what they should and should not do....i understand your point of view and agree with most of it but your novels will not make sweetthantoo change her mind....she is doing what she feels right for her daughter...at some point you have to let it go! | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/16/2007 12:49:40 PM | hey, my daughter just turned 6, and her dad walked out on her when she was 2 months. (we were 16) he dropped off the face of the planet for awhile, now he has been phoning to talk to her, I flipped on him for a few weeks, but he kept phoning, so i talked to my girl and I said talking was ok as long as she wanted to, if she didnt want to talk to him, she didnt have to. I wont let him see her because he is a no good father, doesnt pay support, never has, no gifts no cards, ect. If he was an awesome dad, then yes, I would let him visit, and he knows this. he is living with a younger girl, pregnant with someone elses baby, on welfare, neither of them work.
Its really a personal choice. My daughter knows he is a loser and she is happy that I am her daddy. No man will ever take my place. | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/16/2007 1:02:34 PM | ^^^ totally agree. Bullying and writing the same novel over and over again does not make your opinon right, it won't change the minds of parents actually living the situation, nor does it make you the definitive resource on the topic.
We make decisions we feel are right for our kids regardless if childless people as yourself disagree. Enough. A lot of people do not believe DNA alone makes you a dad after abandonment and the child should assume all risks as a result, you do.
Frankly, I am sick of your constant battle cry against single parents who have made the decision to protect their kids from biological fathers who will likely cause their children irreperable harm. Do you think decisions are made lightly concerning this? You shoving your one-sided opinion down the throats of single parents in this single parents forum has grown tiresome, preachy and judgmental.
You are right-she will end up resenting the mother if that girl grows up and realises it was not ALL because of the dad that she didnt ever meet him-it was PARTLY because the mother wouldnt let him.
Typical male view. Once again the deadbeat bioloigcal father should do whatever he wants to this family and the expectation is that the mother should assume responsibility for his actions. Your definitive "WILL end up resenting" is untrue. The child WILL know that her mother raised her alone for 7 years and did the right thing in protecting her from a lifetime of abuse from a man who proved his capabilities of abandoning his biological child.
As for Sweet's case - the child already has a real Dad. One that would not abandon her, loves her and cares for her. To inflict some loser on her would be the abuse. | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/16/2007 1:53:01 PM |
100% AGREE!!! DNA does not make a father....
Well DNA does make a father.....and a mother......and a child........and a dog.......and an ear of corn;
a complex organic compound found in all living cells and many viruses. It is the chemical substance of genes.
But more on point; I say do what you want.......why should you be held to any higher standard than anyone else who will emotionally disturb their child from the nature of our society today; video games, TV, processed foods, seeing your parents have sex, learning your folks 4:20'd in high school, etc.
I say join the rest of us......and enjoy.  | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/16/2007 2:10:28 PM |
4:20 or 4/20 (pronounced four-twenty) is a term used in North America as a discreet way to refer to cannabis and, by extension, a way to identify oneself with cannabis culture.
Like I said when I learned my folks have had sex and smoked mary-jane........I instantly became "screwed up". | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/16/2007 3:26:16 PM | Lyrical girl-my view was typical male view/
If that is true how come so many SINGLE MUMS like Oxlady have posted on here that they agree with it.
I have counted far more SINGLE MUMS on here agreeing the father should be allowed in the child's life than disagreeing with it-so youre argument that this is a "male view"is utter rubbish.
You never take into account the evidence-you just repeat empty rhetoric.
You never respond to intelligent posts such as those of Catfancy and Oxlady and Trikersbaby-you just ignore them because they dont suit youre ridiculous theory that a child should be deprived of their father-as punsihment for the father walking away earliSweetestthang-if you read her posts-is ANOTHER single mum who DOES allow the father access-even though he is not a great father.Why did you not read her posts?.
And Sweetesthang said earler to Sweethangtoo on message 120 "It seems you still have too much anger towardss youre ex and that anger is making you make decisions that might not be in youre childs best interests" . Anger and bittenress should always be put aside for the sake of the child-the father will have his punishment when the child asks him one day "how come you left it so long?"
But the answer to that must NEVER include "because youre mother wouldnt let me in"
And i dont "bully and write the same novel"-i use differnet examples i respond to points and i have never criticised particular people on this thread for raising children-i merely like others on the thread such as Trikersbaby-tried to help everyone see the other side to all this-the childs need for their biological parents-and the cruelty of depriving them of that-unless that parent is a risk.
It is intersting that Lyrical thinks using examples and evidence to back an argument constitutes trying to "bully" .That is a ridiculousd way to put it-i am merelt trying to engage people to think about the child's need for BOTH parents.
It is not a "male" view, Lyrical girl - it is the child's view. You dont believe me? Then look through the history of adopted children from good homes-as Oxlady mentioned-and find out how many of them grew up and werre angry when they dicovered their father had been shut out of their lives-even with the "best intentions".
The examples you have given is of a girl who is only 8 years old-far too young to be able to tell she doesnt need a father-children develop their feelings often alot later. And go looking for that parent when they grow up-and whoever or whatever made it difficult for them to see that parent-becomes an object of resentment in that adult.
It is not a "typical male view"-it has happend so many times as to be proven.
Involving a father can have a negative effect if he runs off again-but shutting the father out permanently-when he has never seen his kid-can have an EVEN more negative effect. Because whoever he is-he is still the childs father.And this post isnt about you-sweetesthangtoo-its about time you realised that-this post is about the lady on the thread Cheeky-whose child unlike yours-has NEVER seen her dad-the dad doesnt know here she lives-unlike youre ex-and IS TRYING to be involved-unlike youre ex. And who is not mentally ill-unlike youre ex.So stop making the post about you.
Lyrical girl-Oxlady asked you a question in her last post, message 119 and you did not respond to it so i will ask you it again. Because you seem so narrow-minded you were unable to comprehend what she was saying.
The question from Oxlady was
"Lyricalgirl-am i mistaken here or have i failed to see a single post in this thread from an adult that was a childseparated from a natural parent and is now statiing they are HAPPY with having never met or shared a relationship of some sort with with a biological parent?. I know ive read alot ofposts from adults that were HAPPY they got reunited with an absent parent, if ive missed it please identify the message"
So, Lyrical, if ONE poster said on here they were glad they were not allowed to know their father as a kid-please identify it.
ALL of the posters in that situation-the latest being Catfancy-but also Not-Done-Living-Together said they ended up RESNTING the mother for it. And that should tell you something.
And I was not being preachy or judgmental but it is a chld's right to know their father-and youre belief this is a typical male view is so ridiculous as to not warrant a response-when many WOMEN have posted on here that they agree.
And if it is a male view not a childs view-how come Catfancy who as a child had no relationship with her dad-grew up resenting her mother when she found out?
I was merely trying to avoid both child and mother having to go through that heartache.
And Lyrical you say "the child will know the mother did the right thing in protecting her in a lifetime of abuse"
Interseting-how is it in that case that so many posters on here DID resent their mothers for having "protected"them from fathers-by shutting them out. That is completely false-children do very often grow up and resent the mother-even if the father abandoned them first. They do not 2thank" their mothers for not having let them see their father-it is an innate need in children-and it is usualy when they are much older that it surfaces-and so does the resentment-and the search for the missing parent.
That is why Sweetesthang took the right decision in STILL allowing her child's father contact-despite his abandonment.
The man this thread is about does not even know where his child lives-and she knows from her brother that he is looking for his child-so to continue telling her brother not to tell him where she is-is to hide the child away from her own father-and i can GURANTEE that will create resentment in the future-and that it is wrong not to give him any chance.
Cheeky-the poster on the thread-has not even spoken to him yet -to see if he is genuine-or asked him-or had any dialogue-or even revealed where she lives to him-and he can go to court and make her negotiate with him if she doesnt. But i hope it doesnt come to that-and that she engages with him and allows her child to grow up having had the chance many others are denied. | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/16/2007 3:50:21 PM | It's not about me but I can relate!! So can 90% of my friends who are single moms... Half those kids that have met their dad are now fatherless again because dad decided to walk away once again...
The hurt, the disappointment, the feelings of whats wrong with me, and the frustrations is not worth it!!! The child deserves better!!! | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/16/2007 3:55:43 PM | | But amny posters on here STILL resented their mothers for not ever letting the dad see them-and Lyrical asks "do you think the decsion is taken lightly"-but this seems to be assuming that ALL mothers who shut fathers out-do so for the RIGHT REASONS ie to avoid heartache etc..but that is demonstrably untrue..many mothers hut the father out even immediately after birth, just out of bitterness, read the thread "Help-being driven away from my child" if you want an example-that mother is completely irresponsible-and her child will resent her when that child grows up. And even mothers who think they are shutting the father out for the RIGHT REASONS often end up being resented-because they are ignoring the fact a child does need to have seen their father or mother. I hope this kid doesnt go through that heartache. And is given a chance. | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/16/2007 4:14:44 PM | The mom's I know, no, the decision is not taken lightly!!! Its a hard decision!!!!Mom's can often have a sense of things.. Due to that, yes we do guard our children... You have to understand I haven't met a dad who wanted back in his child's and stayed!! They have all walke out again...
If a dad has good intentions, I believe a good mom will get that sense and would allow him back in the child life! Unfortunally most dads I know either come back because pressure of his family, a new gf and he wants to show off, or he wants to get back at the mom!.. These are the situations that I have seen... Take it for what it is... Not saying all dads should be shut out but in my life time I've only seen the dads whom leave again and leave behind shattered kids. | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/16/2007 4:17:58 PM | | cheeky...i did read her posts...i never said that i agreed with them....but u come on here and write novels trying to tell her what is right and wrong....all i am saying is that u can have an opinion but novel after novel of forcing it down her throat it gets to be a bit much....time to let up a bit. | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/16/2007 4:28:18 PM | ^^^ right! I don't mind that someone has a different opinion completely from me - I actually enjoy reading their thought processes and their views. 99% of the time I will stay my course nd not change my mind, but actually, it has happened once or twice here that I have reassessed my view on a topic because of what someone else had to say. BUT, it was because of the intelligent debate, courtesy, non-generalizations and because I never felt my personal choices regarding my baby was being condemned, maligned or degraded, which Cheeky has done with his posts.
I am continuing on this thread because I AM a mom and have a child with no father and find the topic generally interesting and the perspectives and views of others with kids interesting. I do not know why Cheeky is ramming it down my throat, I do not find his posts anything of the sort. I find them bordering on abusive, judgmental, offensive, and blatantly one-sided. And repetitive. And repetitive. And repetitive.
Because you seem so narrow-minded you were unable to comprehend what she was saying.
You do go on and on hoping your voice will overshadow all others, don't you? I do as I want and do not let some kid dictate when I respond or how I respond to anyone or anything. | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/16/2007 4:40:07 PM | Read whose posts? dont think that was adressed to you not sure what you mean whose posts did you not agree with? Yes i understand about "telling" people but i dont mean it to come across like that at all- im not forcing it down people throats-but i have seen the pain being deprived of a father causes-and i have seen many people angry with their mothers for not giving the dad any access to them when they were kids-just like some of the posters on this thread. So i dont want that happening to another kid-or mother.
And Sweethangtoo-you say you know mothers with a 2good sense" of their child-but there are many mothers who shut the father out purely out of bitterness-or for revenge-i have at least six close mates in this exact situation-who have been trying since birth-to be good father-and have been shut out-for pure vindictiveness-so it is not true that mothers do this always thinking of the childs best interests. As i said in my last post-read the thread "Help-Being Driven Away From My Child"-that is an example of just such a mother.
Now you have allowed youre kids father access and Sweetesthang still allows her kids father access-even though he is not a very reliable dad. And i believe Sweetesthang is right-because her kids will thank her-and at least will NEVER blame her-whatever happens-whereas they might blame her if they grew up and found out she had deprived their father of time with them So i think Sweetesthang is doing the right thing-you might disagree.
However the lady on this thread hasnt even given her childs dad a chance-hasnt even talked to him to find out if he really does want to be a dad-and she is hiding her wherabouts from him.
If she continues to hide from the childs father-he can and probably will take her to court-and the child will resent her for having hidden her from her own father.It is not right. It would be better if she just met him-took it slowly-sorted out a reasonable arrangement-and then at least she can tell her daughter she tried-and the daughter cannot resent her for not letting him in. And i would rather-for the childs sake it didnt have to go to court. | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/16/2007 4:59:35 PM | Sweetesthang-the beginning of that last post was to you
Lyrical-i do not ram my point down peoples throats but as for youre pathetic comment about being a kid-if you cant get over my age enough to consider the evidnece and examples i gave-then you are unfortunately the immature one here.
And if they are repetitive-how come others found my posts interesting-and have said so on here.
It was not my intention yo judge people-where have my posts been judgmental and one-sided/ I merelt said children need BOTH their parents-and proved this with examples it is borne out by all the research so there is nothing "judgmental" about saying this.
And sayin mothers who deprive their kids of fathers out of bitterness are child-abusers is a fact-and most people would agree with that-again-not judgmental.
I did not judge youre or anyone else's personal situation-merely attempted to broaden youre perspective from simply believing shutting a father out will have no impact on the child.
Because this theory is not accurate.
And i dont hope my voice will overshadow others- i dont know where you got that from-if it is because my posts were a bit long thats kjust because i tend to write alot so my posts are alittle long for that reason only.
But immature and frankly stupid remarks such as Lyricals remark that mine was a "typical male view" do not advance debate. And you see how once again Lyrical couldnt answer my point in Message 143 that if mine is a "typical male view"-how come so many WOMEN have posted on here agreeing with it.
It is in this child sbest intersts to know her father-if Lyrical thinks that is "judgmental" or "bullying" or "blatantly one-sided" then i dont know why single mothers like Oxlady agreed with it.
And again Lyrical did not answer the question i wrote in Message 146
I was repeating Oxladys question "If children dont mind not seeing their real dad-how come NOT ONE pster on this thread who is now an adult and was not allowed to see their dad as a child-ahs said they are HAPPY anout that?"
All the posters who were in that situation as kids-wrote they were happy to be reunited with their parents as adults-but not to have been deprived of contact with them as kids.
But instead of answering Lyrical says "i respond when i want" and then adds some immature comment about me being "some kid"-though i dont know what society defines a 21-year-old as a "kid"-but i am not offfended unfortunately by Lyrical's remark- i just find it rather petty and immature when this is such a serious issue.
We are discussing a kid who might never get the chance to know her dad-and Lyrical can only make immature remarks about my age.
And where did i "malign or degrade" Lyrical's choices in my posts-whereas she has been quite insulting-i have merely commented on the issue this thread is about-i never criticised Lyricals decision with her daughter or was "degrading" to her-that is ridiculous - her daughter father has never showed up-of his own choice so it wouldnt have made sense to say that.
This child is the one i care about dicussing-and i have enjoyed the discussion-but i hope this child is not simply hidden away from her father-rather thann giving both a chance to know each other-and if that was what the mother on the thread took from the advice of some-then i do not think that child will grow up-find this out and thank her for it. | |
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| After 7 years, should he be able to walk back into his daughters life?
Posted: 4/16/2007 5:07:50 PM | Lyrical said my posts were "abusive"how ridiculous-how is giving examples and evidence-such as children from foster parents who still search for their real parents who abandoned them-how is giving real examples like that and evidence "abusive"?. That is just nonsense.
I do feel passionately about it-because i want the child to have the same chance i had-which is being able to know her father. I did and i couldt imagine how i would have felt if i had to begin searching for him all over again as an adult. And found out my mum had hid me away from him when he tried to get in touch. I dont want either child or parent to go through that. | |
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