| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:11:00 AM | Bottom line here people is that NO ONE anymore now adays is really truly healthy anymore! Were all either over weight or under weight. No one is healthy anymore even the people who are the exact ideal weight.
And once again bottom line is, we all have our own opinions on what we like and dislike and im thankfully one of the hopefully many people out there who aren't afraid to admit it.
/end thread | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:11:55 AM | Interesting point tukaburdy - How would someone feel if their partner became overweight after being in a long-term relationship though I do know of some relationships which have broken off because of this!
OP - No you're not a jerk for making your preferences known, you'd be a jerk if you lied about what you liked I think. Tact is good though! | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:16:19 AM |
Actually, what I'm more interested in is why you feel the need to have your preference validated by a collection of random strangers.
The answer to that is simple. It's much easier to have a volatile conversation with complete strangers than people you have a long established relationship with. This way you can yell and scream to your heart's content and nobody walks away sore. That's the whole beauty of the internet, isn't it?
I'm still waiting to hear how 99 times out of a 100 someone with a fast metabolism is a medical marvel? All the cholesterol they ingest is magically flushed away. They, somehow, sidestep type 2 diabetes and their bloodpressure is supernaturally regulated. What sorcery is this???!!!
But now we have a new line of crap... apparently, if you're overweight you cannot be active. Again, back to my example of the naturally thin woman who is a couch potato. Compare this to the slightly chubby active chick?
I base this upon the women I know. I base it upon the fact that I grew up in the second most obese community in Canada which has a life expectancy a full 5 years shorter than the Canadian average where nobody ever takes a step outside because they're too busy staring at their TV. I base this upon the fact that I've invited many of my good female friends over the years out on walks and the answer was always the same... "It's too much work" and all they wanted to do was sit around and watch TV and drink with me.
Plus, my understanding is this person with the magical fast metabolism is largely make-believe. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:17:06 AM |
I'm sure this can get me roasted, but I'm not physically attracted to women who are more than a little overweight. If a woman is obese I'm certainly not interested. Want to know why?
No.
But I continued to read anyway. The following is REAL easy.
To answer the question posed in the subject: No, it just makes you opinionated.
How you PRESENT said opinion is what makes people think you're a jerk. Now you look like a jerk to the world wide web. Congratulations!
Love,
F. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:18:23 AM | Yeah you're a big jerk, you should have more respect for big women. Fat women are cool with you as long as you don't call them fat or fatty. You're supposed to call them BBWs | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:19:27 AM |
Huh? Can someone please tell me when it became healthy to be 50 pounds overweight? I see a lot of women telling me there is nothing wrong with this. I'm not talking about being a bit large, I'm not talking about having big hips. Nobody wants a girl to look like a Paris catwalk model. Those girls are just sickening looking. I'm saying I'm interested in people who look healthy.
Health is not always about the exterior. I do not look what I weigh, and yet I have a myriad of health problems. I have friends who are at least 100 lbs heavier than me who do NOT have diabetes, have normal cholesterol, normal blood pressure. It was JUST confirmed to me today that most of my health problems are genetic and even with a significant weight loss, I will STILL have cholesterol/blood pressure/blood glucose issues.
I fell ill with pancreatitis last spring and my surgeon then told me that I could weigh 115 lbs and still have horrible cholesterol and blood pressure problems. For me it has very little to do with my weight. I know this is not the case for most, but it doesn't keep me from being judged as "unhealthy" on my appearance alone.
So, just open your mind a little and don't lump EVERY overweight woman into the same group. Doesn't mean you have to be attracted to them, but at least get your facts straight. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:20:44 AM | OP- Congrats on taking a brave stand in the face of political "correctness". Anyone who attacks someone for putting some value in looks is a total hypocrite. Unless you are blind, you judge people, at least subconciously, by how they look.
I'm not attracted to fat women for the same reason I'm not attracted to skinny rakes. Both do not have the feminine curves I'm looking for in a female body. If your gut sticks out farther than your chest, not attractive. If I could draw you with just a ruler, not attractive. If I had to choose between them I'd choose the skinny girl, just because I would'ent want to be crushed in bed, and men tend to be attracted to women who are smaller than them, and vice versa. Just look at how many women want someone taller than them.
Such a woman would be able to gorge on fried chicken and gourmet ice-cream from sun up to sun down and maintain a size 4 frame. She would also not be taking care of herself, would not respect herself and is also greatly increasing her risk of heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, arthritis, etc.
The thin girl would still be more healthy because she isnt carrying around access weight and putting extra stress on her heart.
If you were blind do you think you'd care about 50 extra pounds? I don't think you would.
I would. With a heightened sense of touch how a body feels would be even more important to me, and a perfectly contoured hip or behind is ALOT more appealing to the touch than a handful of flab. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:28:34 AM | If you were blind do you think you'd care about 50 extra pounds? I don't think you would.
Say you marry an athletic woman that is fairly healthy; she gets sick or has children and gains weight and is unable to lose it for some reason...what are you going to do? What if you get sick and cannot maintain your healthy body...should she leave you? Your well thought out answer will tell you whether you are truly a jerk.
Well the answer to that is simple. The women who is 50 pounds overweight because she doesn't give a damn about her own body and isn't willing to take the steps to live a healthy lifestyle is unattractive to me.
The woman whom I marry who strives to keep herself healthy obviously cares a lot about her health. If something happens to her so she can't stay healthy I will still love her because at least I know she cares about her health and herself.
By the way, isn't this fun? | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:33:58 AM | Variance analysis..
You should have more respect for big women. Fat women are cool with you as long as you don't call them fat or fatty. You're supposed to call them BBWs
Hmm. Are you suggesting that all as you called them fat women think alike? Is this not sizeist?
First you assume that all big women would be cool with the OP! Then you infer that all big women should be called BBW. Why? not all big women are BBW anymore than all slim women are SBW! | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:37:46 AM | I'm sure this can get me roasted, but I'm not physically attracted to women who are more than a little overweight. If a woman is obese I'm certainly not interested. Want to know why?
Sure..let's hear what you've got!
Now I've been told in the past that my opinion makes me a jerk. Is it wrong for a guy to expect a women to take care of their own body? Or am I just a bigot?
Ok being an overweight girl myself, I'll say that I'm not offended at all. But I have one thing I'd like to point out...but I'll get there in a second. Having a preference is absolutely fine, if having someone that can run 3 miles a day with you is something that's important, let's be honest, an overweight woman probably won't be able to keep up with you. If you feel that taking care of your body for health reasons is important, I can see why you would be looking for the same. Now back to what I wanted to point out... you said:
When I see a woman who is 50 ro 60 pounds overweight, I can't help but think that they must not respect themselves much.
Here I would say you are wrong, or at the very least that's a generalization that maybe some women fall into, but most probably don't. I respect myself. I am also overweight. I won't get into my personal life story, but it has nothing to do with a lack of respect but other issues as to why I am overweight. I have lost a significant amount of weight due to me waking up one day and saying "hrm..this isn't healthy", but it in no way prior or current means that I didn't respect myself.
Now I've been told in the past that my opinion makes me a jerk. Is it wrong for a guy to expect a women to take care of their own body? Or am I just a bigot?
I don't view you as a jerk at all. However...
than the Canadian average where nobody ever takes a step outside because they're too busy staring at their TV. I base this upon the fact that I've invited many of my good female friends over the years out on walks and the answer was always the same... "It's too much work" and all they wanted to do was sit around and watch TV and drink with me.
Than maybe that's just your friends? Not everyone sits around and watches tv.
Yeah you're a big jerk, you should have more respect for big women. Fat women are cool with you as long as you don't call them fat or fatty. You're supposed to call them BBWs
I am a "fat chick" and I HATE the term BBW. Not every Big chick is beautiful and not every skinny chick is beautiful either. I'm just me.
The thin girl would still be more healthy because she isnt carrying around access weight and putting extra stress on her heart.
She wouldn't be carrying the weight around her heart you are right..but who's to say she wouldn't have clogged arteries? Look at David Letterman or Regis Philbin..all thin, healthy, active men that needed bypasses.
Well the answer to that is simple. The women who is 50 pounds overweight because she doesn't give a damn about her own body and isn't willing to take the steps to live a healthy lifestyle is unattractive to me.
Now you enter "jerk terriroty" for the simple fact you assume (and in a rude way) that a woman 50 lbs overweight doesn't give a damn about her own body.
The woman whom I marry who strives to keep herself healthy obviously cares a lot about her health.
Best make sure she doesn't get pregnant than...and if she does, make sure she has a few years between pregnancies..cause she won't rebound to her former thinner self.
As another pointed out..having an opinion doesn't make you a jerk...how you present it..does. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:42:53 AM | Reference - Message 28.
Goddamn!!!! I don't think you're a jerk. I think you are ignorant on a global feckin' scale but you're not a jerk. That's the beauty of ignorance, it absolves you of any wrongdoing... kind of like Forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do.
The beauty of ignorance is that their mainstay is "this is what I've seen, and cause I've seen it - it's fact!!! 6 billion people on the planet but so what.... the handful that I've met in my life are a pretty good indicator".
Plus, my understanding is this person with the magical fast metabolism is largely make-believe.
You don't think people have fast metabolisms? Yes they do. There are people who can overeat on a daily basis and not gain a single pound. It's even got a medical name - Ectomorphs. But what Ectomorphs don't have is a magical anatomy which makes them immune from all the failings everybody else is susceptible to. Ectomorphs can have high blood pressure, they can have high cholesterol, they can have diabetes etc.
Now you claimed you did not like overweight women because of the health risks their lifestyle suggested they were susceptible to and I questioned what your stance was on Ectomorphs. You declined to answer which sort of confirms my suspicions that you would have no problem dating a woman who looked good in skinny jeans even if every single date was at Wendys.
So you STILL haven't answered the question. Let me break it down and make it REAL simple.....
Woman A = Lives on a diet of fried chicken, cola and Ben & Jerry's
Woman A = Thinks a walk is what she does from the bathroom to the couch.
Woman A = Size 4/Thin.
Woman A = Would make Angelina Jolie look like her ugly sister.
Would you date Woman A? The answer to this, my friend, is the answer to your original question. If you want to know whether you're a bigot so badly then that's all you need to ask yourself.
Actually, what I'm more interested in is why you feel the need to have your preference validated by a collection of random strangers.
My bad, I didn't make it particularly clear. What I meant was, why do you need to have your preference validated at all? I don't like short men. It's not their fault they're short. I just don't like dating men shorter than me. Period. End of discussion..... heck, no discussion! It's what I want and in the land of Reaper, I make the rules.
So, once again, your preference is your preference. You are entitled to that. But do not try and justify your preference by sermonising nonsense. Not a person here, me included, is trying to tell you that you are not entitled to your preference but what we do object to is the ignorant claprap you are wheeling out to justify that preference. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:42:57 AM | Sweet, he will simply miss out on some very, very interesting people. It's his life and we truly don't know what he considers BBW. When I was 21 I weighed 155 pounds, I'm 5'5"....is that overweight? I'm much bigger now but The trainers at the gym tell me to drop to 170 only....is that overweight?
Everyone carries weight differently, I know a woman who had gastric bypass, she still is small and pretty after many years....she sez she still feels huge and ugly.....would that attitude turn this man off?...who knows. tuka | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:43:42 AM | Sweettreat:
I agree with 99% of what you say. I'll admit I'm pretty blunt at times. Some people like it, some people don't.
Reaper!
Calm down. I won't directly respond to any post written with that much emotion. But, there is no way a woman will look like Angelina Jolie without considerable time in the gym. On the other hand, I don't think any guy actually expects his girlfriend to look like that either. Ceriantly not me.
By the way, since I said I'm not interested in dating women who are obese, why does everyone assume that I hate all people who are heavy? Yes, I made some biased statements, but that doesn't absolve you from yours. We're all human. It's not like I go around insulting people who are heavy. You may have noticed I haven't directly insulted a single person during this thread.
It's not like I avoid heavier people like the plague (notice I haven't used a derogatory term for obesity in any of my posts?) I have many female friends who are heavy and we are good friends. In the past they have been attracted to me and I've politely told them I wasn't interested without mentioning their weight. That's just cruel and I'd never directly tell anyone they're heavy. In the past some of my heavier friends have asked for my help in losing weight and I've been more than happy to help.
My original post was largely in response to a larger attitude in society today whereby expressing any kind of attitute outside of what is politacally acceptable is unacceptable. A big thank you for everyone of you who has helped confirm some of my suspicions.
Oh and the beauty of the internet is you can express your opinions in an environment where they won't hurt anyone. I mean look all the great angry posts we have here, I bet no one would freak out like this is person. I've been called all sorts of wonderful colourful things! | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 11:09:30 AM | Joe, I pity you. You want to know why? These thin women that you covet so much, of whom I am one, would not want to date you.
It's a poetic irony of a sorts. Go figure.... 
Edit:
Oh man! I just checked your profile... you're 24!!! I thought there was no way you could be older than 18. The school system has failed you my friend. I mean this sincerely. There is something seriously wrong when someone thinks the gym is responsible for AJ's face. Someone point me in the direction of the squat rack.... I'm gonna go work on some pretty. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 11:22:05 AM | Oh and as my final post... because I've altogether wasted too much time here and I've got to get to the hospital for volunteering. I used to be over 60 pounds overweight and the primary reason was because of my lack of respect for myself. I had health problems and I was all together unhappy and embarassed by myself. At that time I couldn't have gotten a girlfriend even if I paid her because I was a terribly depressed and loathsome person.
Since that time, solely by changing my attitude towards myself I lost all that weight and have kept it off for 4 years. I'm much happier with myself and because of that I find girls are far more interested in me and I have far less trouble meeting people.
So now you all know the source of my opinion.
I'm just on this place anyway, because I've just moved to a new city a week ago and it's hard to get to get to know people when it's -3 and snowing (goddamn Canada) and you don't have employment yet.
Tallyho and thanks for the discussion!
edit: Reaper!
I obviously wasn't talking about her face. Could that have been any clearer? I was talking about her body, her face is average at best. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 11:24:10 AM | | Yes, being overweight certainly doesn't mean that people are not active and living a healthy lifestyle. Many do. Many overweight ppl do care about themselves and respect themselves. Everyone's metabolism's are different. Some ppl can eat and eat and eat and not gain any weight and some can't. I work out 3 x's a week and run everyday, however I am still overweight by about 20 lbs. I consider myself to be very healthy, eat healthy and active....yet I am still considered overweight. Some of my friends and family are smaller then me but yet I know I eat healthier then them and am more active then them. Really you shouldn't judge. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 11:25:52 AM | | I don't think you're a jerk at all for stating what you like. I personally am not attracted to fat men. And I really don't need a reason for it, I'm just not. Everyone is attracted to someone different and no one should pretend to change their minds just because someone might call them a jerk, or shallow. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 11:27:04 AM | | Reaper you just sound very bitter about something, the op has not attacked anyone and yoouare all over him with your brash claoims and insults towrds his opinoins...tsk tsk tsk | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 11:30:19 AM | I obviously wasn't talking about her face. Could that have been any clearer? I was talking about her body, her face is average at best.
Well I wasn't. I was talking about her face (message 37). Maybe if you stopped to read a couple of posts instead of fantasising about some twiglet who was gonna check you out instead of the slab of muscle next to you, you'd have picked up on that.
Awww Variance.... come, come... when you gonna stop dancing around and just ask me out already?
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 11:48:25 AM |
Joe, I pity you. You want to know why? These thin women that you covet so much, of whom I am one, would not want to date you.
You're skinny yet you refer to skinny girls as "twiglets". Do you have some self loathing issue going on?
And since when do you speak for every skinny girl on earth?
It's a poetic irony of a sorts. Go figure....
This is always the way it is. A guy speaks his mind and someone takes it personnally and goes off on an emotional tyrade, abandoning reasonable critizism for rash insults. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:07:35 PM | You're skinny yet you refer to skinny girls as "twiglets". Do you have some self loathing issue going on?
Only if you make twiglet a derogatory term. As it is, I do not.
And since when do you speak for every skinny girl on earth?
That's the irony.... a comment on those people who seem to think their limited experience is defining - as the OP does.
This is always the way it is. A guy speaks his mind and someone takes it personnally and goes off on an emotional tyrade, abandoning reasonable critizism for rash insults.
As I have already said, and will say again. Not a single person, not a one, has a problem with the fact that the OP prefers a certain type of woman. What many have taken objection to, myself included, is the fact that he seems to think thin = healthy, athletic, active and overweight = inactive, unhealthy and no self respect.
But, as is the norm with POF's users, nobody can actually see the woods for the trees. Why not read some posts and see what people are actually saying....
"Having a preference is not bigotted or ignorant but the grounds upon which you base that prefence can be bigotted and ignorant". | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:25:17 PM | Reaper, I'm stunned at your personal attacks on the OP. He never once made a personal attack on another poster. He stated that he wasn't attracted to overweight women, and that he felt it was their fault they were overweight (too much generalization but so freakin what...it goes on everyday here), and that it was unhealthy. I know you're not the only one, but your post was the one I stopped at.
Op, you get the same BS everyone else does when they dare to state a preference. You're stupid. You're shallow. You're missing out because you won't date someone you're not attracted to (does that sound as freaking ignorant to you as it does me???), yada, yada. You hung in well though.
I suspect you started this thread because you were feeling guilty that your heavier good girlfriends had been coming on to you (as you stated and most ignored) . It's always tough when a friend crosses that line, and it's unwelcome. And it could be unwelcome for lots of reasons. It's their issue to deal with, not yours. Good luck fishing. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:34:38 PM | ^^^^^^^^ ONCE AGAIN!!!!
Not saying the OP doesn't have a right to have a preference.... saying the basis for his preference is wrong. If he wants to just say he prefers thin women then FINE! But do not say that if you are not thin you are unhealthy, have no self respect, are not active and cannot engage in such activities because that IS ignorant. Same as saying if you're not tall it's because you did lots of drugs when you were younger and it stunted your growth... or, if you're bald, it's because you've got poor hygiene... get the point.... that's offensive... not the fact that someone doesn't want to date short, bald guys.
For the love of Christ... how many different ways can I say the same thing!!!!  | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:38:06 PM | You don't date fat chicks, and I don't date smokers.
So?
I hope you find your skinny chick. And I pray she doesn't put on a few pounds over the years, or if she gets pregnant....God forbid.
isn't this like the eleventy seventh thousand one of these?
Giggle. And yes.
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