| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:40:22 PM | | So your saying he has a right to a preference but only if its based on rationality? What about a preference for blonde hair? Is there some logical reason why that person is superior? No. Its just aesthetics. I think the original poster was wrong to base his opinion on health. He should have just said he think fat chicks are unattractive. Period. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:42:43 PM | OP... you are very much so entitled to having your own preferences!!
I'm a woman with some extra weight on me, I KNOW that there are men out there who prefer women with a smaller build. I myself prefer men to be around my height or taller. People can sit her typing on their computers calling me many names for having my own preferences but not a single word they type will change what i'm attracted to.
There a many different reasons for a person to have extra weight on them... many different stories.
I don't think for a second you are putting "heavier" folks down... you are not against them, you just have a preference. Maybe you haven't exactly worded everything to please everyone but on topic like this... very seldom can you please all.
I think everyone who is jumping down the Op's throat should maybe think a wee bit about their own preferences. How many of yourselves would date a man who is shorter than 4.9 feet?? In other words known as "Little People". How many of you would date someone in a wheelchair?
YES... there are many folks who might appear to be out of shape when really they exercise on a regular basis and eat healthy but for MANY it is a choice of unhealthy eating habits and lack of exercise.
Obviously the OP knows what he prefers... he himself enjoys living a healthy lifestyle in many ways, why should he be flammed for wanting the same from his future partner?? | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:43:33 PM | No need to repeat that particular rant again Reaper. I was talking about your personal attacks on him, telling him how ignorant he was, how even thin women wouldn't date him.
And as far as his statements regarding unhealthy, lacking self respect, and being inactive..that is often the case in obesity, unfortunately. Personally, I think everyone should learn to love themselves as they are, but if they don't like something changeable about themselves, change it. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:56:08 PM | So your saying he has a right to a preference but only if its based on rationality?
Exactly that! Preferences don't have to be justified... that's why they are a preference. Same with Blondes. If they are someone's particular preference, so be it... but don't try and justify that preference by saying it's because Blonde's are more easy going, live longer, are smarter, have better hygiene, can handle money better etc etc... all of this is ignorant which is why I called the OP ignorant and I stand by it. Fact remains, comments that have no factual basis and are ill-informed are ignorant.
And as far as his statements regarding unhealthy, lacking self respect, and being inactive..that is often the case in obesity, unfortunately.
This is not often the case. There are conditions which are more and more prevalent in society today which make it difficult to lose weight. I'm not talking about 400lbs, I'm talking about 20-30lbs overweight. This can easily be attributed to an undiagnosed condition or even a diagnosed condition that is undergoing treatment.
It is an insult to assume these people are inactive, slothful or have no self-respect. It's tantamount to assuming someone with a learning disability is just lazy and doesn't want to hit the books. | |
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dpd22
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Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 55 | |
| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 1:04:45 PM | | Like I said in other threads, there is a big difference between not finding someone attractive because of weight and making fun of someone because of weight. Personally I think there are attractive thin women, average women, and slighty overweight women. I wouldn't date an obese woman, but I would have no problems being friends with them. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 1:58:00 PM | to each their own...absolutely
should we choose according to our own personal tastes...absolutely.
should we not feel like we have to choose someone we are not attracted to....absolutely.
what i don't understand is...why do we need to have constant threads
about overweight women.
if you don't like them...why mention them...why defend your desire not NOT to meet one?
what is the point?
or have we run out of things to complain about? | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 1:59:42 PM | "There a many different reasons for a person to have extra weight on them... many different stories."
Actually there is only one reason, they ate too much in relation to their metabolic rate.
Sure, they can say they had medication that did it, pregnacny, age, blah blah, but these are all just excuses for eating more or eating the same as before but having a slower rate of metaboilsm as a result of the meds etc. and not cutting down accordingly. It usually means the person is depressed.
Myself, I have to eat like a lion so I won;t be skinny...I wish I had a fat guy's metabolism so I could only eat like once a week.
"what i don't understand is...why do we need to have constant threads
about overweight women."
Because we are trying to make a world where no one is fat so everyone can be happier. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 2:34:27 PM | I packed on 60 pounds when I was pregnant Variance, eating pretty much the way I ate when I wasn't. And believe me, it wasn't all baby. My body just started packing on fat on my ass and thighs. There was nothing I could do about it. I exercised as much as possible and it still happened. But I did lose it quickly by just going back to "my" normal exercise/eating habits.
And some people are more genetically programmed to be thin, or heavy. Such is life. Most of us have to work harder at keeping it off as we age though. I know it's a lot different for me now than it was when I was 25. | |
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LBP
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 61 | |
| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 2:56:07 PM | OP: Agreeing very much with the first post by Savannah, they probably wouldn't be attracted to you anyway. Actually, I personally don't find the opinions attractive either. Not that people aren't entitled to their personal preferences....ofcourse pick what you find attractive.
It's JUDGING them on a mental level that you know absolutely nothing about that would bother me. Whether it be as having no self-respect or whatever. I know some overweight people who are actually very healthy compared to their skinnier compadres. You assume too much and judge too much sheerly based on personal appearance. I personally would find that a turn-off,superficial, lacking awareness, and think the person kind of limited in their ability to realistically perceive others - fun being judged ain't it?
I have absoluely no problem with people being attracted to whatever they are attracted to however, I do think its kind of jerky to need to put others down by making assumptions in order to justify your opinion. They don't need to be unhealthy, depressed, or self-destructive to justify you not being attracted to them. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 3:41:47 PM | Hella difference between the perceptions and attitudes of a 24 year old and a 54 year old man. Would be interesting to see what our OP has to say 30 years from now.  If time catches up with him like it does the majority of the world, he may be singing a different tune. Never know.
and no OP.. you're not a jerk for having your own likes and dislikes. We are all entitled to those and nobody says they have to be justified or make sense.
Some women wouldnt date you because you would be considered skinny to some and they dont want that. Others wouldnt date you because you're young. Still others wouldnt date you because you dont have a good job / lots of money. Does that make them a jerk ? nawwwww .. of course not! (but does it make you a lil fidgety being rejected over things you cant necessarily help?)
Will have to give you a pat if you are helping your overweight friends get into better shape tho. A true jerk will sit on his ass and belittle someone without ever once lifting a finger to help them.
Ciao | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 4:03:04 PM | | its totally legit to not be attracted to over weight people. the reasons above are good but for me another one is that when im feeling sorry for myself and being a big baby i eat chocolate cake and stop working out. when im happy and feeling good about myself and my life im either at the gym or at least making sure im getting enough exercise to keep me thin. i also try a little harder with how i dress and decide to do my make up. i think how a person feels is shown by how they look. just my opinion. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 4:17:20 PM | because their metabolism burns off the sugar they dont get diabetes if a women is active and eats right and excersises properly she will not be chubby at all.
and most girls who are thin as hell tend to be active as hell do to higher self confidence and activity
I dont like bigger women myself but if a women is over 30 i will giver her an excuse for being slightly over weight and 50 lbs over weight even after having kids is ****ing gross. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 4:26:29 PM | I dont like bigger women myself but if a women is over 30 i will giver her an excuse for being slightly over weight and 50 lbs over weight even after having kids is ****ing gross.
See, it's people like you that I don't care for in life, you've crossed the line from personal preference to rudeness and hate...btw, the following is straight out of your own profile...
I am not here to talk to anyone in this city since all of you are shallow self centered snobs who I hope gets the abusive pricks you so totally deserve every single one of you.
Hrm...shallow and self centered snobs...I'd say that's the pot calling the kettle black, wouldn't you? | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 5:20:54 PM | | It doesn't necessarily make you a jerk. I mean we all have our preferences in what is attractive to us. HOWEVER they way that you convey this message can make you a jerk. Do you treat overweight women poorly, then yes that makes you a jerk. Also remember that not ALL overweight people are overweight because they don't take care of themselves. Some are overweight because of health reasons. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 5:24:29 PM | I didn't really read through all the rest of the post but I skimmed through them but I only wanted to comment on the original post.
I am overweight and No I do not think that it makes you a jerk. If it is your perference then people should not get angry at you because of that. I guess my question is would you not even consider being her friend? That I would find low but I can not b*tch at you and try change your beliefs and values and I can not push my beliefs and values upon you. We are people too but there are guys out there that will love us for us.
I accept the fact that not all guys will be attracted to overweight girls. Soon enough I will work towards losing weight but I am not going to do it because guys are not attracted to me I am going to do it for me. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 5:25:00 PM | There is somebody for everyone. We can't change who the OP is attracted to. If you feel it limits his dating choices than that's his loss isn't it? But why 'make' him date a woman he's not attracted to? That's not fair to her is it? Some guys aren't attracted to me because I have short hair- their loss. Some guys aren't attracted to women who are really skinny, or even 'average'-sized- some only like BBWs and some guys *gasp* like a woman for her personality and that's enough to cause the attraction...
I was explaining it to the guy I'm dating tonight (I hid my profile but haven't updated for the confused- sorry). We were lying there, and he told me he didn't like 'thick' women- and I looked at him and said 'then what are you doing here?'. He told me his big thing was wanting a woman he could pick up and he could wrap his arms around- he can do that with me. I asked him just to be sure 'are you okay with my weight then?' and I made him promise he was telling the truth. Because, as I explained to him, somethings are best heard- mean or not- and noone deserves to be 'settled for'- end of story... | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 5:31:07 PM | You can be attracted to whomever you want... it's whatever floats your boat! 
But you can shove the BS of a person wouldn't be overweight if they had any respect for themselves.... up where the sun doesn't shine.
It's easy for you to pass judgement on others.... but maybe you'd feel differently if you ever walked in their shoes. There are many reasons people are overweight... and not many of them have to do with lack of respect for themselves.
So I recon I'm VERY happy that a narrow minded guy like you wouldn't be attracted to a fatty like me!!! | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 5:31:31 PM | {quote]I'm not saying I'd only date someone who runs marathons... but if a girl is too heavy to go for a long bike ride on a sunny day then I'm not interested.
I'll admit that you can look at some people and think "I don't see them going on a long bike ride" but with a lot don't judge what a person can and can't do based on their size... I know a lot of out of shape skinny chicks and a lot of bigger girls that would surprise you what they can do.
Plus really.. fat chicks just rule :) | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 6:00:17 PM | i don't know why people just don't get that obesity is a serious health problem.
http://www.obesity.org/subs/fastfacts/obesity_what2.shtml
a couple of bullet points from American Obesity Association
- Obesity increases one's risk of developing conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes (type 2), heart disease, stroke, gallbladder disease and cancer of the breast, prostate and colon.
- Health insurance providers rarely pay for treatment of obesity despite its SERIOUS EFFECTS ON HEALTH.
- The tendency toward obesity is fostered by our environment: lack of physical activity combined with high-calorie, low-cost foods.
Therefore the OP has a LEGITIMATE justification, even if he is a little untactful about it. Whether he's genuine about it... only he knows so jumping on him assuming he's not is just silly.
I just don't know.... if i had a real close friend who was having weight issues and allowed him/her to think it was healthy and alright to continue that sort of lifestyle... i'd be a shitty friend in my opinion. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 6:55:44 PM | If the only thing that matters to you is on the outside (cliche yes) then you are totally fine... I've known some fantastic people both overweight and not. Guess what? If you don't like someone for who they are, then that is your problem, I suppose. Tell me are you parents overweight? Anyone else in your life whom you respect and admire who is overweight?? Come on now you question your own morals with the idea of this question in the first place. You are just trying to gauge where you fit in the world and getting either an ok or not. But hey, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
And... an overweight man? Yes it is sort of a turn off. Depending on just how overweight you are talking about. If I can't find something on a man that his gut is keeping from me, then it presents an actual problem. But, if he is beautiful on the inside, (which does take time to get to know) who knows.  | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 6:59:21 PM | "It doesn't necessarily make you a jerk. I mean we all have our preferences in what is attractive to us. HOWEVER they way that you convey this message can make you a jerk. Do you treat overweight women poorly, then yes that makes you a jerk. "
Yeah seriously dude, the way you convey it can twist the meaning behind into rudensess...the whole idea is that yes, women who are BBWs or whatever you want to call them(I am trying not piss aanyone off with my terms) are actuallyAWARE that they are fat, they KNOW this already abou tthemselves. When you put them down just for being fat it is rude. It defeinietly doesn't help with their motivation towards possibly get thinner..unless they are the type of BBW who needs to be (metaphorically) hit as opposed to stroked.
Maybe , in one scenario, this BBW wanted ever so badly to shed her pounds to improve her dating prospects, but because of the constnat pput downs and attacks on her self she just eats more out of spite for all men.
Or maybe she is totally happy about her weight and likes herself at this weight. Well, insulting this kind of BBW is just rude if you do it because (even thhough she currently shouldn't/wouldn't care about her weight being made fun of (since she likes it)), it is still a personal attack and it could ultimately lead to her actually developing a fat complex..(due to all the constant atacks)
Why does she like herself as a BBW?
Is it a result of a lost battle? perhaps a battle not willing to be fought?
Or have they truly reached a state of complete self-acceptance; a state where they truly feel they are attractive to themselves and; a state of total self-fulfillemnt (albeit at that weight)?
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/10/2007 7:02:51 PM | Just another posting about fat girls. ohhum. gee, maybe I should go eat something fattening. Lets see...no chocolates in the house...no icecream...no cocoa colas floating around...hmmmmmm. Oh! I know! Butter...lots of butter...andand ah....sugar. The humming birds will just have to starve.
Are you idiots making judgement calls catching on???
Oh, OP...no you are not being a jerk. Go for your flavor...its okay. With the little bit of info I have gleaned from your comments, I think you are a nice young man. You just suffered from a momentary lapse in conversational skills when you made the one judgement call about self respect. | |
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