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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/14/2007 4:25:42 AM | Everyone has their preferences, and differences in what they find attractive or not... and cannot be condemned for their tastes.
But, like many have said, you cannot assume a woman is not healthy or does not care about herself because she packs extra pounds - there are many genetic and medical factors that can affect a woman's body.
Skinny certainly does not mean healthy either ... Similarly, I 'prefer' people with meat on their bones ... and a little extra. But, I DO TRY NOT TO ASSUME that every person who is thin - is sickly, undernourished, annorexic, a drug addict, HIV positive, or gonna blow away in a windstorm! | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/14/2007 5:08:14 AM |
Skinny certainly does not mean healthy either ... Similarly, I 'prefer' people with meat on their bones ... and a little extra. But, I DO TRY NOT TO ASSUME that every person who is thin - is sickly, undernourished, annorexic, a drug addict, HIV positive, or gonna blow away in a windstorm!
yes but there is a difference between thin and sickly thin... just as there is a difference between a few pounds over and obeisity. it's not unnatural to think of someone sickly thin as undernourished, annorxic. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/14/2007 5:09:54 AM | Alright. I'm going to give a somewhat in depth response to this.
1. PREFERENCES
The fact your coming here to validate your preference is not good. We all have preferences, why? Because that's part of makes us who we are, you ought to not worry about whether what you prefer is ok with everyone else. It doesn't matter if its ok with everyone else or not (Take that with a grain of salt/within reason) But the fact you attempted to add some not very well thought out reasons behind it, does not go down well. Read below.
2. METABOLISM AND WEIGHT/BODY FAT %
Some info: regarding metabolism, weight, activeness etc. It's quite possible for someone who's skinny to eat like a horse and never gain weight, this does not mean they are healthy by a long shot.
Naturally the body reacts to it's environment that when food is plentiful, your metabolism (If your active) will increase, when food is not plentiful, aka you do not eat a lot, your body may slow your metabolism down to a level where it can maintain current fat levels.
As you can see the acceptable body fat levels to actually be "Healthy" Are quite high, almost 1/3 of your weight, thus debunking your theory slighty overweight/extra pounds people are unhealthy. Essential fat is the level of fat you require to actually survive, it may not necessarily be healthy to be at these levels.
Description Women Men
Essential fat 12-15% 2-5%
Athletes 16–20% 6–13%
Fitness 21–24% 14–17%
Acceptable 25–31% 18–25%
Obese 32%+ 25%+
Description Women Men
Recommended amount 20-21% 13-17%
Adults in United States, average 22- 25% 17-19%
Obese 30%+ 25%+
Though if you push this too far, your body will try to pack on as many kilo's as it can in case suddenly there's no food at all. Now this is all under ordinary circumstances.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metabolism - This will give you an in depth explanation.
3. BODY SHAPES ETC.
It IS NATURAL for a women to have curves, there is nothing wrong with this. It is also natural for a man to have some lbs extra. But there are many things in life that can cause ones weight to dip, or rise e.g. medical conditions/environmental conditions. It's all relative - We are all unique.
CONCLUSION
As far as things go, I think your reason "If your thin, you must look afteryourself" is a generlisation and one hell of a cop out. Man up and just say "I don't like larger people" So what? Thats your preference, some may like it, some may not. This does not make you a jerk. But your tacked on reason, shows your need to validate your preference, and its not well thought out.
Sources - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_fat_percentage | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/14/2007 7:59:37 AM | I'm sory of in the same boat as the poster.
I have recently lost quite a lot of weight (130 lbs to date) and see some people and wish they would do something about their weight. It really changes your life when you lose that much. However, being a big guy in the past, I empathize with how hard it is being overweight.
That said, I am not attracted to overweight women at all. A few extra pounds, whatever. But physically obese, no. I lost all this weight and am now a very active person, I want someone that will be able to keep up with me.
I've had a hard time coming to grips with that because it seems hypocritical based on my past. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/15/2007 4:54:45 PM | As an overweight person myself, I can say: no! You are absolutley NOT a jerk. You take care of your body, your health, and your looks, and you would like to meet someone who does the same. Nothing wrong with that. Keep of the good work! | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 132 | |
| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/15/2007 7:00:04 PM | OP - get over thinking about what other people may or may not think of you. It really is simple, we're either attracted to someone or we're not. We shouldn't have to defend ourselves. At the same token, because we're not attracted to someone, or because the other person is "different", doesn't mean we need to insult them, get nasty, or judge them.
Ol saying rules "if you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all". It really is that simple. OP - I'll agree, that each and every one of us (not just women), but men too, should take good care of ourselves (emotionally, physically, and spiritually). | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/15/2007 8:43:26 PM | OP, why are you asking this question to begin with?
Who gives a sh!t if you are not attracted to overweight women? no one, but maybe you?? you have a preference as all people do, ok fine.
I mean really, if we did care(or if your preference made you a jerk as you put it), would it change your mind or preferences anyway. dont think so.
so what's the point of discussing something that is not going to change how you feel? | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/15/2007 9:15:47 PM | I don't understand why people throw fits when someone states they don't like a particular 'type' of appearance. So, they don't like it. That means move on, find someone who does, and everyone in theory will find something they deem attractive. If we all liked the same type, then genetically we would all be the same type. Which, IMO, would make the entire world boring at horsewhisperer proportions.  | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/15/2007 10:30:36 PM | | Why should you expect anything from anyone else exept to be themselves. What would you do if you married someone who had children, developed a thyroid condition or got depressed? Would you stop loving her? I like hard bodies myself, but sexual attraction is about so many other things too, including phermones. My husband was pretty fine looking when I met him, but put on about thirty pounds afterwards. It's was really not a problem exept when his belly got in the way during sex. You are the only one who can decide your priorities, but remember that a lot of women find self righteousness unappealing. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/16/2007 2:30:34 AM | first off I will say that I couldn't make it through all 5 pages of this BS. OP I have got to say it you may have a "great" body but you have a goofy looking face. I am sorry to come off rude but I am a guy and I may not be a fabio but you know I value a person more then whether she spends her days in the bakery or in the gym. Some of the greatest people I have known have been " fat". On the flip side I got a friend and she is twig thin and she has had cancer and all sorts of medical issues. The Fat person lived a long and full life. I like big girls and honestly I would rather have a big girl that is comfortable with herself then some skinny girl who is always obsesed with that 5 vanity lbs. I will agree that you liking skinny girls doesn't make you a jerk your attitude in the post does. I really think about as much has been said as can be so live with your preference and STFU exactly my point people are angry because I called him screech ohh f*cking boo hoo cry me a river, he bring his laundry on here and he must prepare that people will make him feel bad he is not my type he talk about overweight women in rude way and I am talking about him in a nice way but like you to the point as for his body he dosent have a jock body. butgojo you are way hotter. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/16/2007 5:10:56 AM | No, I don't reckon you are a jerk,
You are just being honest, and there is nothing wrong with stating your tastes, good on ya mate.
Personally, I don't mind a few extra pounds on a woman as I find curvy women attractive. I've dated women in the past that my friends would consider too big, but for me it was perfect.
However, there is a limit, I don't want someone obese when health issues can come into play. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/16/2007 5:58:34 AM | Your overgeneralization that overweight individuals do not care about themselves and their health is bordering on Jerk-land. You can not profess to know how anyone else thinks or feels about their individual situation, so you can't say with a straight face that this person or that person "doesn't respect themselves". How do you know what they think or feel? That point was covered. What's next?
I am a little anoyed at the folks (particularly women) who make this oberservation. I'm paraphrasing and exagerating for comedic effect but here is the gist of the statement:
"Hey, you should like to date overweight women, because hey you know, if you date a skiny gal and she gets sick, or has kids, she may become overweight, and then you have a heavy girl anyway, nyah nyah. "
(The "nyah nyah" I added for comedic effect because I see them saying this in their head to our friend joe the OP as they type these kind of staments in their posts).
These are the same women who will defend any woman's right to discriminate a dating canidate based on some superficial trait such as height. Yet, the guy who doesn't date the overweight girl is shallow, and the girl who doesn't date the guy three inches shorter then her is "just exercising her right to have a preference".
Me senses a double standard here... I hate double standards.
Ok, you want to know what the differnece is here? Except for those with medical problems or genetic predispositions, with alot of work, and perhaps the help of a dietician, you can get yourself in decent shape over time. Will you have the body of a a model? Probably not, but its in some select cases possible.
Can a guy grow three inches in height? Not unless he's wearing platform shoes.
See my point?
So the next time someone wants to blast a weight preference guy, think carefully, are you a height preference gal? Then you have no moral authority to blast the weight preference guy.
For the record, I find so much beautify in women of all shapes and sizes. Sexy is on the inside in my view, but I just wanted to point out the hypocrisy of some folk in this thread and nip it in the bud.
Jaberwokey has spoken. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/16/2007 6:09:58 AM | | I am overweight, and no I don't think you're a jerk. You know what makes your tummy jump in excitement, makes your heart race....as everyone does. It's all a matter of preference....good luck to you. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/16/2007 1:03:19 PM | You are not a jerk. I am also a big girl and I could never hang out in the romantic sense with someone who uses their time the way you do; I think is a horrible waste of time and energy that could be better spent creating something or doing for other's. It seems a very self absorbed, egotistical way to spend a life.
When I was in South America a few of the girls from the group I went with would go running every day, the locals would gather at the edge of the field and laugh at them. If the Amerindians wanted exercise they would go gather food, go fishing, make bricks, haul water, something that contributed to their families and community.
You like who you like, and our perceptions of other's play a big role in that. | |
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Mia828
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Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 142 | |
| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/16/2007 3:31:47 PM | Well in my personal opinion I don't think your a jerk.
But I have a question...Do you think your a jerk?
I agree with the fact that you work to live a health lifestyle and you want someone that shares your views.
However I disagree with your statement about When I see a woman who is 50 or 60 pounds overweight, I can't help but think that they must not respect themselves much. Reason being they can be very healthy even more so then you. Plus I'm sure they respect themselves just fine.
Here's a question for you "Is it wrong for a WOMAN to expect a MAN to take care of their own body?" Because a big chunk of them tend to let themselves after they are dating [married] a woman for a while. I mean that's not fair to a woman, who is working hard to living a healthier lifestlye and is losing weight. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/16/2007 4:05:16 PM | I think your not being attracted to overweight girls is ok... but your reason and the out look you have on overweight people is crap!! It often has NOTHING to do with what you have stated as the problem.
We all have our rights to our opinions... how we express them is often where the problem lies. I dont like scranny wimmpy men! I want bulk and body!!! .. my opinion! | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/22/2007 4:59:25 PM | | They had a little competition on a recent episode of the show Penn & Teller BS to dispell that stupid stereotype that overweight people are less healthy. They took 1 in shape skinny guy and 4 fat asses and pitted them against each other in olympic events like long jump, hurdles, and 100 meter dash. One of the fat guys was huge, like probably more than 100 lbs overweight and he did horrible. But then there were these 2 black guys who were maybe 40-50 lbs overweight with beer bellies and they completely destroyed the skinny guy in every event hands down. So I wouldn't assume that fatter necesarily means less in shape. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/22/2007 5:07:27 PM | Not having a preference for overweight women does not make you a "jerk." We all have our own personal preferences related to physical appearances, personality, intelligence (etc.)
I do not, however, understand the need to create a forum about it. You do not want to date overweight women, but there is realy no need to broadcast that sentiment in a forum.
I also do not necessarily believe that a person who is overweight automatically has no self respect. or sense of self worth. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/22/2007 5:11:59 PM | ^^^^ Exactly what I wanted to say.
Fitting everyone into one generic mold makes you as unattractive as those you find that don't have any self-respect or sense of self worth. (which btw is a bunch of BS)
Also to the gentleman who said he lost 130lbs...I congratulate you, not an easy thing..I know i've lost 60. BUT, I am not one of those people who are "reformed" who say..if I can do it..you can too. If anything I am more apt to understand what it is like to be reading a forum post such as this, as an overweight person.
But more importantly OP..I am carrying a few extra pounds around with me, but you know what..I have all the self-respect that anyone can have.
As for you being a jerk..no..You are not a jerk for liking what you like..your a jerk for saying that overweight have no self-respect and self-worth. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/22/2007 8:10:32 PM | | Well as long as you can be respectful about how you show to a woman that your not intrested you attractions are your own. I think that you are welcome to your own opnion, just be careful to express it in a respectful and honest manner like you seem to be able to. Good Luck | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 148 | |
| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:00:27 AM |
Because we are trying to make a world where no one is fat so everyone can be happier. Oh, is THAT what you're doing when you insult overweight people? You DO know that insults and such don't generally make people happier, right?
I can't tell you how much YOUR opinion of me has had an impact. When I started my healthier lifestyle 1 1/2 months ago, you were on my mind the whole time I was getting myself organized..."God, I hope that boob on the internet approves!"
I get a kick out of seeing the same guys in the "fat threads" giving their little insults and digs and now I discover that there's at least one who is doing it out of charity...*sniffle*. You're a good man.
OP: You're not a jerk AT ALL for not being attracted to fat women...what does it matter? I've seen the threads where overweight women will call men "jerks" or "shallow" for not liking us, but who cares? I'm not attracted to men with blonde hair, never have been, it's the same thing. Does that make me shallow? No. I can't help what physicallly attracts me and what doesn't. As for WHY someone is overweight, I gotta say, it really isn't any of your business.
The only thing I ask is that you don't judge someone JUST because you're not attracted to them. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/6/2007 7:53:05 PM |
Now I've been told in the past that my opinion makes me a jerk. Is it wrong for a guy to expect a women to take care of their own body? Or am I just a bigot?
No. It just shows what your personal tastes are in the opposite sex.
Frankly, I'm a firm believer that the ideal mate is someone you find physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually attractive. I don't buy into the fairytales of the ogre winning the heart of the princess. That's not realistic in today's world.
I don't think I'm shallow or a jerk for saying I'm not into obese women. I personally think my own range of what I find attractive and unattractive in women is very wide. If I was the type of guy who only wanted models...then I'd say I'm shallow.
Beautiful women do come in all shapes and sizes, but my personal view of a woman I find attractive is one who isn't large and obese. Some other guys do find that attractive...so there's the ideal mates for them.
Don't feel bad because you have certain tastes in people. Feel bad if you make your standards so thin that Ms Right will never exist for you. | |
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