| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/6/2007 8:34:26 PM | Oh a juicy subject.
I will say this though, it's not any ones fault for the type of body they are attracted to. But by only liking body type X, you're limiting yourself down to possible relationships, not that you can control your feelings anyways.
Some people care more/less about body types. Some people are willing to give a little to get a little. You can date someone that's not very attractive that's really nice and takes care of you or you can date someone that is a super model that acts like a jerk/****. Or you can be one of the lucky ones who get both, but that usually only happens to the very attractive people because most attractive wouldn't date someone not-attractive. Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
jhoeksma I don't see why you're even worrying about this. Don't date people you're not attracted to, it's that easy. Letting other people effect your moral values is just as bad as people who try to push their moral values onto you. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/6/2007 8:44:52 PM |
But by today's standards, people who say they're average are about 50 lbs. overweight. I list myself as 'Average' and I'm 165 lbs.
I believe people should list their honest body type. Nobody is being fooled when someone has a picture posted, clearly showing that they are overweight, but listing 'athletic' or 'average'. Search profiles, it's everywhere.
Something tells me though, that you would be less concerned with her clogged arteries and poor respiratory endurance. A good point, I think the OP needs to, a least in his own mind, be able to admit that he isn't attracted to overweight women due to lack of attraction/inability to be intimate with them. There's no need to try to be a saint/fool yourself into believing your a 'good person' when it comes to dating because you have to know what you want AND why you want it. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/6/2007 8:57:07 PM | No. It just shows what your personal tastes are in the opposite sex.
Frankly, I'm a firm believer that the ideal mate is someone you find physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually attractive. I don't buy into the fairytales of the ogre winning the heart of the princess. That's not realistic in today's world.
I don't think I'm shallow or a jerk for saying I'm not into obese women. I personally think my own range of what I find attractive and unattractive in women is very wide. If I was the type of guy who only wanted models...then I'd say I'm shallow.
Beautiful women do come in all shapes and sizes, but my personal view of a woman I find attractive is one who isn't large and obese. Some other guys do find that attractive...so there's the ideal mates for them.
Don't feel bad because you have certain tastes in people. Feel bad if you make your standards so thin that Ms Right will never exist for you. Every last sentence here is brilliance, great post chitownartlover. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/6/2007 8:57:49 PM |
Your mistake is that you're trying to make your preference sound deeper than physical attributes by trotting out a tired line of BS. Just step up, be a man and admit it instead of choking out this crap.
^^^ have to agree. I didn't read all the posts but I do think that although you do have a right to have a personal preference, you just can't bunch millions of people who are heavy into one group = unhealthy fatties. as it's been put on here over and over... many people who are heavy are still active and healthy.
sometimes, it's just the luck of the draw. some of us are big, some of us are small.
and if the true answer to been slim and slender was exercise alone, the world would be a much thinner race. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/6/2007 9:04:59 PM | Be attracted to who are you attracted to. I don't understand some people assuming we're trying to make the OP date heavy women.
Your reasons for being heavy does not apply to everyone, so how about you just not think about the fat people and not worry about it. The thing about self-respect could be applied to almost anything. For example, one could say that people who create threads because they want to try to upset people shows the potential for a mental disorder. Do you like arguing with people? Does it give you an adrenaline rush? I'm just saying that as an example, I wouldn't know such things at all about you. Yet, you seem to say you know about me based on the numbers on my scale.
This isn't at the OP, just in general:
What some people I think don't realize is that some of their attitudes makes it hard to do the change. People laugh when a heavy person is on a bicycle, they laugh when a heavy person tries jogging, people laugh when a heavy person tries some new sport....it all gets very tiring and makes one want to hide at home and slam the door on the rest of the world. Some people can get so nasty about it that it's nearly impossible to try to eat anything at all around them even if it's something healthy. Ridicule does nothing but make people feel like cr@p, but yet some try to hide rude behavior behind "societal acceptance."
The issue is not whether anyone wants to date a fat person. The issue is about people who will find any thing they possibly can to make themselves seem better than the other person. What would possibly be wrong with people just being nice instead of behaving like morons? | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/6/2007 9:28:57 PM | you`re not being a jerk. You have a lifestyle and very valid reasons for wanting a partner who would share those views. I don`t want an obese man either,for the same
reasons you stated , plus it puts both a physical and mental damper on the whol romance, attraction, sex thing. Obesity, high blood pressure,and unhealthy living is not a plus when it comes time for bedroom activities. Oh, that`s right, now they make a pill to fix things that don`t work because you didn`t take care of yourself, I forgot! | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/7/2007 7:16:31 AM | | yeah you are but your young you will learn to keep your opioions to yourself we are all interested in differernt things I dont like blonde men who are loud | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/7/2007 7:22:19 AM | | I think your missing out but your entitled to your preerences....as we all are. Your not a jerk for your preferences, but you are a jerk for saying them out loud and expecting people to applaud your honesty! | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/7/2007 7:35:01 AM | My friend, who is what you would call "obese" is one person who you could be ostrasizing by your views.
My friend has had numerous surgeries, she has rheumatoid arthritis and the medication she must take makes her unable to lose weight.
My friend 10 years ago was a petite 57 kilograms (125 pounds). Through her degenerative spine and her arthritis as well as the medication she must take for both these ailments, she now is still short in height, but weighs 80 kilograms (176 pounds).
My friend was never even over weight before she got her health problems. Her medication makes it absolutely impossible for her to lose the weight.
Sometimes it is not laziness that causes weight gain. Sometimes it is medical. My friend cannot stop taking her medication for her ailments, because she would not be able to move at all.
She excersizes and leads a very healthy lifestyle. She does not smoke, drink alcohol and apart from her medication that is prescribed to her for her lifestyle, she does not take drugs.
Sometimes you can't judge a book by it's cover. But if you see a person who is eating fried foods and drinking a thickshake at 9am, and they are obese, then you can. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/7/2007 8:38:31 AM | Not being attracted to fat women doesn't make a man a jerk. There are a segment of fat women who think a man is shallow and ignorant for not dating fat women even though most fat women have probably turned down a man due to physical appearance. I think a man would be a jerk ONLY if stated his preference in a rude way.
My friend was never even over weight before she got her health problems. Her medication makes it absolutely impossible for her to lose the weight.
Sometimes it is not laziness that causes weight gain. Sometimes it is medical. My friend cannot stop taking her medication for her ailments, because she would not be able to move at all.
She excersizes and leads a very healthy lifestyle. She does not smoke, drink alcohol and apart from her medication that is prescribed to her for her lifestyle, she does not take drugs.
IMO that is the exception, not the general rule. I think a small percentage of obese people have a weight problem ONLY because of a medical condition. Weight is controllable in most cases. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/7/2007 2:22:45 PM | I am a "fat chick" and I HATE the term BBW. Not every Big chick is beautiful and not every skinny chick is beautiful either. I'm just me.
Yes! You rule sweettreat. I've been saying that for years. Like, um... this chick calls herself a BBW. I'm seeing one B, not two. Haha. Well, it's wishful thinking I guess. Like fat chicks calling themselves 'curvy'. Um... Curvy can be skinny, average, or fat. But the fattest women cannot call themselves curvy. 'Lumpy' may be more appropriate.
I think fat people should embrace the word fat. It was used as an insult on you as a kid. So take it back and wear it proud. Not unlike the n-word for black people, queer for lgbt's, chicano for mexican-americans. There is power in words and you can't dodge it. If you own it, it becomes useless in the hands of those who try to hurt you.
That's my almost-humble opinion. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/7/2007 3:07:06 PM | Not being attracted to overweight people doesnt make you a jerk.
I dont like really overweight guys (bit of meat, beefy or stocky - I like) and I know Im not a jerk.
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/7/2007 3:21:59 PM | Jerk no I don't think so everybody should know what they are attracted to, And truth be told most people who are overwight don't respect themselves near enough, But then again I have met alot of people who were skinny who didn't respect themselves either like a girl who will sleep with a guy she barely knows she isn't showing much respect for herself but guys tend not to mind it.
So to me if you aren't attracted to heavy women just say that because making it a thing about who respects themselves that is just opening up a whole nother can of worms. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/7/2007 3:33:53 PM | posted by merry0709>>>>>you`re not being a jerk. You have a lifestyle and very valid reasons for wanting a partner who would share those views. I don`t want an obese man either,for the same
reasons you stated , plus it puts both a physical and mental damper on the whol romance, attraction, sex thing. Obesity, high blood pressure,and unhealthy living is not a plus when it comes time for bedroom activities. Oh, that`s right, now they make a pill to fix things that don`t work because you didn`t take care of yourself, I forgot!<<<<<
Ok I just had to comment on this one my last boyfriend was a 3rd degree black belt in kung fu and he was a instuctor and he almost always tired out in the bedroom before I did just because someone is heavyset doesn't men they are a dud in bed and I have played basketball with skinny friends who tired out long before I did so like many others have posted nothing wrong with having a prefrence but don't judge based on one look. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/7/2007 3:40:05 PM | Well, if you're a jerk then I guess I'm a **** because I don't like skinny guys. I don't like those who are morbidly obese either, though.
BUT as to your reasoning, you can't generalize it. I'm overweight, but I exercise several times a week after work (I'm on my feet all day long), I eat healthily, I don't drink or smoke. I do at least make an earnest attempt to lose weight, but there are always other factors that you don't know about that contribute to someone's size.
Past that, we all have our preferences.
Just my opinion. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/7/2007 4:04:09 PM | It's your personal preference. I wouldn't persecute you for it. This is not solely your personal preferance. Women have a hight prefernce that is basically the equivalent of our weight or size preferance. Women are less forgiving if you're short or shorter. Men are less forgiving if a woman is fat or bigger.
You can tell the women who call you a jerk that they're a jerk if they want a tall or athletic/muscular man. | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/7/2007 4:18:41 PM | OP: No, it doesn't. You are entitled to your preference. And if you don't throw the weight factor in their faces...then you are doing fine.
What kills me is when overweight people putting AVERAGE in their profiles. But then again...it's always how one's perception of oneself.
Some people like to call themselves: "Attractive, funny and interesting person..." uh...sure you are. | |
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ck4u
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Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 170 | |
| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 10/9/2007 10:10:12 AM |
Now I've been told in the past that my opinion makes me a jerk
You are entitled to whom/ what type you're attracted to...probably it's the way you convery it to people ( as in, how you express your thoughts) that may come off bad. Making you look like a total jerk...some sensitivity never hurt . | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 11/15/2007 6:38:31 PM | | It is kind of a turn off that someone wouldn't bother to take care of themselves. I would have more respect for someone that is at least TRYING to lose weight. Then again, I still wouldn't date them, and this pertains to dating. So I guess you're right, but all too often people tell me about how i should give those "poor fat girls" a chance. Gimme a break! I have standards, and I'm sure they do too, even if it isn't about looks. Everyone needs to learn how to handle rejection! I know I have! | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 11/15/2007 7:08:20 PM |
I don't buy the "health reasons" crap. Why not just admit to yourself that you don't find overweight women attractive and leave it at that?
SareeG is right on the money here. Forget about all the statistical & medical mumbo-jumbo, you don't like them because you don't find them attractive.
We can't help who we like, but pulling out a pie chart & powerpoint presentation to justify it is just plain stupid! | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 12/3/2007 11:00:02 AM | OP,
There is nothing wrong with you thinking this way... You just dont find them appealing... You can't make everyone happy... Don't worry...
I personally don't find men who are skinny or overweight attractive...
Puggy, or chunky is ok... but not folds upon folds .... Sorry not my cup of tea...
As for skinny ... goes the same way.. I need strong... I feel that skinny(thin) men feel like they are going to blow with the wind... or they might break snap.. i dont' know...
Bottom line... It doesn't matter... what everyone else thinks... You 're never going to make everyone happy..... Try focusing on yourself... | |
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| I'm not into overweight women, am I a jerk?
Posted: 12/3/2007 11:16:55 AM | | Its not being a jerk. I won't date guys over weight at all. I like men skinny. I'm a tiny person myself and don't want to sleep with a guy that much bigger than me weight wise. Fat women just won't bother with you and probably offended by you to. | |
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