| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 7:44:49 AM | She's a brand new mother.
Lot's of new responsibilities.
Rejected by the man who fathered her baby.
She is WISE to "take it slow" (not jump into ANYthing) this time around.
She's got other things to think of right now. | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 7:48:49 AM |
So girls.....and guys, what do you think she means by "taking things slow?" Thanks for your input.
I haven't read all the way through the thread, so I doubt I'm the only one who says:
Run away!
She's not interested in anything with YOU. You happen to be Mr. Right Now. When I've heard that from a woman, and that's a number of times over the years, it means she's just biding her time until someone comes along who strikes her fancy more than you.
Move on..... | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 7:53:51 AM |
it has nothing to do with control
the majority of guys here obviously dont know the female psychi very much at all
unlike these other morons here
Oh and edited to add....... it Does not in any way mean she just wants to be friends......thats a cop out for guys to move on if ever i heard it.....hey how would i know....smile
gypsy33:
Well, clearly you've never dated women before.
Dude, NEVER take dating advice from a woman. I made THAT mistake a number of times as well.
When you get dating advice from a woman, do the exact opposite. Trust me on that. | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 8:00:02 AM | | Ask Her! There could be any number of things she means. Most of them as simple as her words at face value. The only way to know for sure is to ask 'her '- the person that put the words out there. | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 8:05:26 AM | | OP, why don't you ask *her* to clarify what she means by taking things slow? She's the only one who knows what she means by that, so she's the one you should ask. Simply tell her you're not quite sure what she means by that, and you'd like to clarify it so you know where you both are in this relationship. Just ask - Does she want to see other people? Does she only want to see you but not have sex again until she feels more sure about things? Does she not want to see you at all? Tell her you need her to be honest, that you won't be hurt by it, but that honest communication is one of the key elements of any relationship. Best of luck to you. | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 9:33:55 AM | After being in a three year relationship and having a child with that person, it's very likely you got turned into the rebound. Sorry to say it, but from personal experience and talking to girl friends, rebounds almost always come first after the end of a long relationship.
In that case her telling you she wants to take it slow more then likely means she isn't interested.
In the mean time enjoy the fishin' trip 
Kat | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 9:43:48 AM | I'm with proliberate and CG5000... Perhaps you could say. "I'm really sorry to have to ask this, but my emotions have addled my perception... when you say Take it slow; do you mean slow down to nothing or do you genuinely want me to take a step back with the intention of slowly moving forward.
It can give you a sharp stabbing pain when you have to be so honest that someones feelings might be hurt, so don't be too harsh on her if she had trouble being frank....
But ask her... the truth will out!! | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 9:59:31 AM | Maybe its all going to fast for her... she might still have feelings for the deadbeat bloke..only because hes the father of her child...and needs space to think..because hes going to be around for a long time once there's a baby involved..and probably wanted to feel loved but feels shes committed to quickly... and if you show her that you are wanting to get into a serious relationship .. she might back off completely... i think she has feelings for you...but just wants to date you and have a bit of fun.. before the serious bit.... good luck   | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 10:11:37 AM | How in the world did men and womens point of view get so far apart??? The men responding about this question are mostly saying move on becuase she is not giving it up. Whatever happened to actually building a relationship? Getting to know eachother? Having common interests? This woman just got out of a relationship, she has a baby. She does not want her heart broken again. I honestly like sex, who doesn't?But there is so much more to being part of a couple, to having a relationship with another person.
Taking it slow means just that, lets go slow. Get to know eachother. If you work together, build something, the sex will be there. Probably even better becuase there are feelings to go along with it.
Just my opinion | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 10:22:24 AM | i think this is a really broad topic. when it comes down to it. you need to talk to her. ask her what she means by when she wants to take it slow.
COMMUNICATION plays a good factor in this situation.
Then again, who the hell am i to say anything. I'm one of the stupid fuc kers. I jumped into a relationship in no time, and do you think i learnt the first time? heck no.
most recent ex, we dated for a month n half, then she calls me to tell me that she's 3.5months preggy. yeah, not mine, but i stuck around. why am i lucky? cause, my name wasn't on the birth certificate. and it was a bit over 2 years, and she pretty much had me move in off the hop. so, i was dumb then, and i got dumb once more...
my lawer broke out the good scotch on that one cause i walked away...scott free.
most recent attempt, one fish not only gave me a run for my heart, but is the first that is sticking around after we both drew a stalemate. i have to say, hats off. i'm learning this whole "love me tender" thing. might not be too quick at it. but, i'll admit...(few that can i bet) that i did think with my pecker, and after being out with her a few times... when i realized what the hell i was doin, i dropped her stuff off that night, waited for morning. when that happend, we went for a talk on a park bench where i once cuddled her in a big blanket watchin the birds by the river... and i managed to realize, that she don't want to let me go, but don't want to be close either. so, we ended up drawing the friend's card...
now, i think she's just a bit shy as to want to hang out near me, cause she thinks that i'll try to kiss her or something. truth is, we didn't communicate enough. but if she could get brave again...
bare in mind, this is unchartered territory for me, i'm not used to talkin to "once was" 's.
will explore more. | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 10:38:07 AM | This is all been only a MONTH?? That is ONLY about 30 days -- And you are wanting to do ??? Sleep with her again probably. Get a clue, dude.
This lady has been through hell. Gotten pregnant, been dumped by the father of her baby, now she has had the baby, ONLY eight months ago.
Then she meets you, and after a couple of weeks, she allowed sex to happen. Just what DO you think is going through her mind???? I would bet that the next day she said to herself, "What in the world am I doing???"
You have to understand all this happened in such a very short period of time. If I were you, I would start over with her WITHOUT the sex. Take the time needed to develop a relationship. You will probably have to really prove to her that you are not after her only for sex, and that you are not going to dump her. That takes WAY longer than 30 days...........
If you can't do this, then you need to move on and leave this lady alone. Be a real MAN by behaving according to the situation and try to do the right thing. | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 10:57:31 AM | You already had sex with her once and NOW she wants to take it slow?
Have you ever had to take care of an 8 month old baby on your own? Were you ever left with an 8 month old baby with no mama to help take care of this child?
If you are really digging her, tell her you are trying to understand what she is dealing with and that you are willing to let her take all the time she needs. After a while, I think she will want to spend lots of time with you.
You can show her affection without ending up in bed. Patience will put you in her life and her bed. | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 7:27:02 PM | Taking things slow ... means different things to different people, thats for sure! lol
My version is: I'm not getting any younger. I have children to be responsible for. My choices greatly affect their lives. I have made mistakes in the past and I'm not sure if I've learned from them yet. I can't afford to make those mistakes again. I'd like to eventually have a long term relationship that I am totally committed to. I can't move a relationship along quickly, though, just because there is 'spark' or mutual interest. I've found that attachments based mostly on sex don't work in the end, so please don't EXPECT it. I don't want to have sex with every guy thats ever been nice to me. If you're 'THE one for me', you'll understand.
I want to take at least 6 months of fairly regular contact to know you as a friend before making any type of long term committment. I want to talk about everything as we go out and just have fun together. I want to find out if we share the same values. If we find we don't share the same values, or there was no real attraction after all, we won't have hurt each other. If you find someone you are interested in more, in the meantime, let me know. If I find someone else I'm interested in more in the meantime, I'll let you know. Please don't rush me, though, or I'll run in the other direction. You may be 'THE one' but 'THE one for me' will understand. If you don't want to wait, it's ok. I wish you well. We're not in the same place, I totally understand. Either way, I'd like us to come out as friends; and friends are great to have!  | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 7:35:26 PM | Why the rush.... if you could spend the rest of yr life with this girl, why rush?
Shes not saying look im not interested.... she has just come out of a long term relationship, and only had a baby 8 months ago, her hormones...and yes guys those good old faithful hormones are on over load.
Date her, woo her, make her feel special if thats what you want to do, the intimacy part of your relationship will come.... if thats what you both end up wanting.
Its different for a woman to sleep with a potential new partner, to give herself to a man its an emotional connection, and maybe just maybe shes just not ready to do that.
So the question is, do you give her time, talk things through....or move on... thats for you to decide, and i wish you luck with whatever decision you make.
Dizzy xx | |
|
TRGL
|
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 40 | |
| |
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 8:00:16 PM | for most of us it truly means that we want to take things slow...she has an 8 month old baby with a dead beat dad...I am sure that she didn't know or expect the father to turn out to be the way that he is. She trusted in their love and he turned out to be a loser...so I am sure that she is questioning her ability to trust men.
Typically when 2 people have sex early on in a relationship, the relationship has a tendancy to be based upon that...once that intense chemistry is gone...if you haven't gotten to know each other, the relationship is over.
Women tend to make decisions based on their feelings. Men tend to make decisions based more on logic and evidence.
If you really like her, get to know her, and put sex on hold, just for a little while. I am sure that if she really likes you, once she is feeling grounded and feels that she knows you a little better, things will be moving again.
Good luck! | |
|
| |
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 8:17:36 PM | It means that we have minds & hearts as well as bodies & would like you to get to know them before your crawl into our beds...
In other words don't act like knuckle draggin fatheads... | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 8:18:16 PM | IF YOU LIKE HER.............
Don't go away.......................get to know her, have fun together, touch her in nonsexual ways, be giving, let her know you are attracted to her without making it a come on. She needs to feel secure after what she has been through, so patience, on your part, will tell both of you if you should continue. She obviously was attracted to you and slept with you, and might feel guilty. Let her see all sides of you. Call her, be there for her. | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/11/2007 8:45:32 PM | Best advice I've seen in any of this thread was pretty simple...just ASK HER! Yes, she's a mother to an infant, and evidently has issues with the baby's father, so she does have other concerns that come before you OP. And because of all that, and your feelings for her, you have to give her the benefit of the doubt if you want to chance to make it work .
However, what would give me pause and would make me wonder if she truly was interested in you, was the fact that she slept with you once, then tried to make your relationship go in reverse, or neutral at least. Maybe she thinks she slept with you too soon, and/or its been a previous pattern of hers that she wants to change. Or maybe she wants to put you back into the friend zone after the fact. I will say, from my experience anyway, that girls who tell you they want to change their previous patterns in relationship, tend to fall back into those patterns when they find someone they really want to be with. So if she tells you she sleeps with guys too soon and wants to change that with you, chances are she's just waiting for the next guy who does it for her to fall into bed with too soon, and taking things slow is just her way of keeping you at arms length. JMO | |
|
| |
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/12/2007 3:28:18 AM | I'm telling you OP, it means she just wants to be friends!!!!!!! I've heard it plenty of times from the ladies, " hey I just want to take it slow" And they end up hooking up with MR BIG the next day! And your only there for a shoulder to cry on when MR BIG, dumps her after a month or two of sex.
Do yourself a favor and start fishing for a new girl! | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/12/2007 4:20:58 AM | | She's already had sex with you. Kind of late to "take it slow". I'm guessing she's really not interested for whatever her reasons may be. Just tell her what you said here, you're really not into waiting around & would like to move on if things are not going to progress. Then MOVE on. If she's interested she'll let you know, trust me! | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/12/2007 5:29:55 AM | could be a number of things ,only way to know for sure is to ask of course but it could be that she slept with you too fast and regrets it and it's overwhelming for her how fast things were moving and she does in fact want to slow things down (some people don't always use that as an excuse to "just be friends" some really do mean they want to keep seeing you but not continue the sex for awhile)
or she might not want a relationship right now but doesn't have the guts to tell you that directly.
or she's not sure what she wants and needs time to sort it out.
ask her to ease your own mind at the very least. | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 4/12/2007 3:55:30 PM | Scruldbrug
Pity your so quick to block
i tried sending you a nice appology this morning.....smile
oh well--
-------------------------------------------------------------------- | |
|
Home
login 
