| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 7/21/2008 6:46:46 PM |
If she had sex with you once and then she decided that "She want to take things slow" by having sex with you, she already bypassed the slow issue. Perhaps you did not blow her socks off when you had sex and she dosen't know the right way to tell you. Tell her you want a relationship with her that includes romance and sex and ask her how she feels about that
Is the short version of that "she's just not into you?". It seems the obvious conclusion. | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 7/21/2008 7:30:32 PM | | op people men and women are very often into playing games. Games with peoples hearts, mind, feelings. It gives them some sense of control and power to have the upper hand in a relationship or so called relationship. If she is stringing you along bail out and find someone who wants you for you and is not out to mess with your mind/feelings. | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 7/22/2008 5:39:02 AM | Jar61 / You said "One of the last emails she sent also said that I liked her too much."
What is that? And you wonder why I referred to you a being a door mat. Shes' playing games, although I will give her the credit to believe that she doesn't know what she wants. I'm am sure though, she is aware that if baby's daddy finds out about you, that she has lost him. Did he know about you? Anyway...having been told that you like her too much, that she wants to take it slow, and discontinues sex, offering no real communication on the matter, you send her flowers, gifts and emails expressing your passion anyway! Did you want her to jump on your head too, just to make sure you get it? Back off and let her grow up. | |
|
| |
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 7/22/2008 10:28:54 PM |
If she had sex with you once and then she decided that "She want to take things slow" by having sex with you, she already bypassed the slow issue.
Ummmm... NO, sex is not the only slow issue. Dating exclusively is a big one! So is meeting the family... moving in together (some people do it that quickly; I think its insane), etc. Anything that leads to a further level of commitment. And all those other things I just listed are actually MORE IMPORTANT issues than the sex... the sex is really no biggie! | |
|
ngat73
|
Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 106 | |
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 7/23/2008 2:42:28 AM | Taking it slow just means that. It means..."at this time Sir, I don't want to be in a relationship with you because... (insert various reasons why you annoy everyone or have issues with)."
Or, they want to keep their options open and to be nice to let you know, to precaution you so you don't get hurt.
Or, they have been hurt and they want to get to know you better.
Or, whatever reason they don't find it or feel anything that makes them want to jump into anything with you.
Or, maybe this is just the way they are and they appreciate the situation but they don't feel that it is time or need to get to know you better because there are some questionable things or that they are busy in their lives for this right now or vice versa.
Maybe, they really aren't ready. You have to respect other's peoples wishes and they would have to respect yours, so if you want to be in a relationship than fiind that person to be with. In, the mean time if you think spending your time to get to know this person without the reward or the assurity that they will be there than don't waste your time. Not everything is a sure thing. But taking it slow isn't bad.
You get to know someone first before you can expect them to reciprocate your advances or the progess in a relationship you desire. Live life at the moment and do what you feel. When it is right you will know, you both will. Can't expect people to develop feelings or be on the same level unless they are.
But for the most part, taking it slow is usually a guilt-free way of saying they are not interested while sparing you.
Not to be off subject but why do people spend so much time analyzing things when the answer is just to make your decisions to what makes you happy, the best decision you are capable of making at the moment and see what happens or even easier, ask directly and hope for an honest answer. You can only take what they say at face value until they do something for you to have reason for them to not trust you. You really don't know what the end result really would be until you do something about it.
Taking it slow really isn't a bad thing though. Yes, everyone is lonely and wants it but somethings are worth waiting for if it is true, otherwise don't hold your breath. Go with your gut and enjoy life.
 | |
|
| |
| |
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 7/23/2008 4:08:31 AM |
Stop pushing .. we hate that as much as a men do
Keep it up and you will end up in the friend zone
Was this a serious post, or tongue in cheek?
"Take things slow" means she's put him in the friend zone. | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 7/23/2008 4:19:17 AM | Hi fuzznuts,
What she means is that she doesn't want another baby and another failed relationship.
Some relationships don't always start with the "Can't keep our hands off of one another. Spent all week-end in bed." Some smoulder for a long time before flourishing,and a lot of the time these are the kind that last.
How can you force someone you say you have real feelings for to go faster than they want. Date her,enjoy her company,learn who she really is. If she is as interested in you as you say she is,your relationship will grow,probably slowly at first,but the result will be worth waiting for. Sex is a big part of any relationship,but it not everything,and ,if that is all you want the girl for,she probably feels that.
Relationships can be just like sex,take it slowly,see to her needs,and enjoy the explosion when it happens. | |
|
| |
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 7/23/2008 8:00:21 AM |
it means shes not a whore...basically
So, essentially, you are saying that a woman with a normal, healthy sex drive, who is emotionally mature, "must be a whore"? In essence, you're saying, "anyone who doesn't think and act like me is wrong?"
Good luck with that point of view in finding someone worthwhile.  | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 7/23/2008 8:05:22 AM | Gypsy33, you hit the nail right on the head. I'm so proud of you for standing up for this girl. Guys, you need to get a grip. Take it slow means she needs some time to sort out her feelings; and if you take that as a rejection then that tells me you're just in it for the fun. You're trying to make something happen that just isn't there.
You're trying to control the situation and when she's saying slow down, you get all pissy about it and say, ok, I'll play along for awhile, but if I don't get something out of this soon, I'm walking.
Women fall in love through their minds, OP, men fall in love through their eyes. And remember, there are three stages in a relationship: lust, rust ,and dust. Now, it's up to you to decide what you really want to do in this situation.Have you tried talking to her? See how she really feels? Communicate with each other, don't pressure her,or else you're gonna cause problems and it will be over before it started. besides, are you ready for a ready made family? you have to ask yourself this? Can you be the daddy to her child that it needs? Prove to her that you can,and make room for the kid. Spend some real time with the baby, help her with changing diapers, feedings, baths, etc... the rest will come as you grow into this.
If she starts acting all weirded out on you and you think the baby might be in danger, get her to a doctor, because she could be experiencing bi-polar symptoms. Don't make mistakes like Britanny Spears did, and look where she is.
Some women's hormones and bio-chemistry really get out of flux and they do need to be under the care of a doctor.
Just think about his and make sure that you're really ready for all this responsibility. | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 7/23/2008 8:13:32 AM | | It means she probably likes you as a person, but she senses something is missing, and she doesn't want to rush into bed with you until she's sure she would want a relationship with you, because nothing in the world for a woman who values herself is worse than sleeping with men she has no intentions of entering into a relationship with. Even if a relationship doesn't pan out, she has to KNOW she would like to at least try one with you. If she doesn't, she'll try to keep distant so she can figure out her feelings. If you pressure her, you will only reinforce the negative thoughts that are obviously going on in her mind about you. In essence there are some things she quite likes about you, but you are also giving off a lot of BIG red flags to her and she's confused about which way to go at the moment. | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 7/23/2008 8:30:17 AM | If it were me saying that to you, it would probably mean that I felt like we moved too quickly and I was feeling a bit hesitant. I would mean that I still want to go out with you, but somehow moving too quickly may have startled me and caused me want to take a step back a little. You have only been seeing her for a month - relax. I think you can ask her what she's feeling at this point. Communicate. Be open. Tell her that you are looking for a relationship and are unsure what she means by 'taking it slow' and you're just trying to understand. Say that you're willing to give her some space if you knew what that means. Hopefully she'll understand and explain it to you... but don't be threatening or pushy, that will just shut her down or scare her off.
That's just my take. Who knows though, every girl is different. I could be wrong, I could be right. The only way to know is to ask her.
 | |
|
| |
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 7/23/2008 12:48:19 PM | I think you've answered your own question with the comment that you are 'not prepared to wait'.
'Sex .......... having it' is not the defining issue in a long-term, caring relationship and should not be made so. Your concern is making it so .............. maybe she 'senses' this.
Taking things slow means learning about one another ....... likes and dislikes that we share - or can happily agree to differ on ................ fundamental principles and philosophies that we may not be prepared to differ on whilst finding every other aspect acceptable. 'This' doesn't happen in a few dates ......... it takes time ........ time to just 'be' together - have a walk/cook a meal - just everyday stuff - not a 'date' as such.
Hope this is helpful. Good luck. | |
|
| |
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 7/23/2008 1:05:56 PM | Slow is
Exactly what it says and requires her little a bit of time to find herself and feel comfortable in an intimate surrounding with yourself....as she has been through much.
Alas, tis also code for not interested in you that way, though I like your company.
If someone is the one they are worth waiting for. Perhaps its worth having the talk again and asking her to be open and honest. | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 7/23/2008 1:42:15 PM | She is saying she likes you but she has not got the sexual fancy bit yet for you.. Maybe having sex the other week was too soon for her.. but we dont know how that came about.. ladies sometimes find that they need feelings for a man before giving themselves.Many ladies go with men and they dont fancy them and that wont last long.. so if you like her wait and see if she she starts to act in the way you wish..You never know she might be worth waiting for... and she sounds as if she is a nice girl.. good luck  | |
|
| |
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 7/23/2008 2:35:04 PM | | Taking it slow means just what it says. they would like to develop a relationship based on there grounded issues. Think of the trouble you have gotten in when you rushed something. It si true good things come to those who wait. | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 7/23/2008 3:49:49 PM | | Your days are numbered. Thats just what it means. You've alread gone the cycle with her and she wasn't into it. Once I get the slightest hint..................I am gone. | |
|
| gals....what does take things slow really mean?
Posted: 6/5/2009 12:46:54 PM | | Yeah I would say based on the situation you are a "rebound" the older ladies I see on here have a more "optimistic" belief on it because they are more mature and finally know what they want (sorry younger women are sooo indecisive). My guess for her is she wants to play the field, yet have you around for better or worst. This is what my own mother told me "If a woman really wants you, she will go for you no matter what, no games or anything and my mom has never been wrong on that." My mom says WOMAN because the rest are simply girls..... | |
|
| |
Home
login 
