| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 4/25/2007 2:21:48 PM | | Yeah, having lived with chronic depression most of my life I know that it is not an easy road, and it's easy to be provoked to stray off of. I can tell you that things may be steady now, but there will be alot of ups and downs to expect. The only person that can truely help her is herself, but stay by her and try to be a positive and supportive influence when able and that will help in her staying on track. | |
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~Alan~
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Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 27 | |
| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 4/26/2007 7:16:01 AM |
Prozac is not good for younger people - bad news with that drug!
Please provide specific knowledge on that statement. First clarify "younger" people and if you could provide links or specific medical texts or recent studies which indicets this, as well as what constitues it being "bad" I am sure it would help a lot more.
Prozac
WARNINGS
Clinical Worsening and Suicide Risk — Patients with major depressive disorder (MDD), both adult and pediatric, may experience worsening of their depression and/or the emergence of suicidal ideation and behavior (suicidality) or unusual changes in behavior, whether or not they are taking antidepressant medications, and this risk may persist until significant remission occurs. There has been a long-standing concern that antidepressants may have a role in inducing worsening of depression and the emergence of suicidality in certain patients. Antidepressants increased the risk of suicidal thinking and behavior (suicidality) in short-term studies in children and adolescents with major depressive disorder (MDD) and other psychiatric disorders
The above comes from the manufacturer (Eli Lilly and Company) in it's Safety Information to physicians. | |
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| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 4/26/2007 7:27:17 AM | ^^ That's exactly it and since we won't have to deal with such a negative poster anymore at least your post won't be refuted.
I have personally had to deal with a child on prozac and well as several clients from my past job placement. I can tell you from personal experience that prozac made my son have uncontrolable negative behaviour and it completely changed his personality to the point he was frightening!!! Prozac is not to be prescribed for children and has been questionable for many for years! | |
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| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 4/27/2007 3:53:51 PM |
lfrl: As I read your post my eyes swelled up with the sad memories of a time last year when my 11yr daughter took a razor blade to her face before she boarded the bus for school. This was all unbeknownst to me. It is a long story that I won't get into but it involved CAS and a short trip to a foster home. My husband (at the time) and I were frantic and living on pins and needles worrying about what she was going to do next to herself.
What was known to me however, was the fact that she was a victim of bullying at her school and that she thought that every kid hated her.
Things worked out eventually with help from private counselling services and CHIMO which is a non-profit organization that deals with youth and family services of suicidal children/teenagers.
Just a month ago, a friend of mine in the USA sent me a DVD copy of "The Secret" and as I sat and watched it my daughter joined me. She turned to me and said that she wished that the people responsible for the "positive thinking, inner spirituality and the laws of attraction" would create a version of these concepts for teenagers! I have to agree with her on that for sure. I turned to look at her and realized at that moment, how far she had come from where she once dwelled in darkness. I was now looking into the eyes of a beautiful, hopeful young person who now realized how special she is in every way and who also now believes that she is capable of GREAT accomplishments and doesn't let the small things get in the way. She now prays everynight knowing that her prayers will be answered.
I pray for peace, harmony and perfect health for your daughter and for you. The same thing nearly happened to me when reading the oppening post as well.
My daughter, 17 now as well was released from the hospital 2 months ago after her second attempt . Pill overdose both times. What I really dissliked was the arbitrary selection of medication after the first attempt. Which after the second attempt proved to be the wrong original course of action to begin with. Unfortunately we tend to put our faith in the "Professionals" who we believe know what they are doing. I will compare these people no different than car mechanics - there are some good ones and some not so good ones out there. Thankfully, after her second attempt we were able to get to the root of the matter, discontinue the un-needed medication and get down to a real course of interactive medicine. She too suffered from an apparent of lack of self esteem, lack or worthiness, school bullying and a host of similar unhealthy ways of thinking. She's making excellent progress now and moving forward with her life (by all indications). It's a shame that so many till succum to such pressures that at times are self generated. If I were to give any advice, I'd say challenge the integrity of the assigned care giver / doctor if anything just doesn't sit right with you. I would definitely raise a big red flag if the doctor candidly recommended any medication without some substantial testing and supportive collaboration. I do see the areas of fault that lie within her mother and I in where we allowed her to be such a recluse and not promote strong enough for her to interact with others. Whatever happened to the days of "playing" outside for hours on end, getting all of that healthy activity and fresh air and having to come in when it got dark or the street lights came on only to respond to our parent when being called to come home - "Awwwww, do I have to". | |
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| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 4/27/2007 5:48:52 PM | | lfrl.... I work in the mental health field and i have for many years. I am not to sure if you and her dad and his wife have ever gone for classes to understand and learn more about her situation. I have found that families that i have sent for some classes have actually been more beneficial to their loved one.. and also they dont feel so alone because they can talk to other people that understand what they are going through. It is great that you are able to uncover some of the problems so that they may be addressed and you are so right to take it one day at a time and one issue at a time. Its easier for her to focus on one thing and accomplish small steps which in turn will increase self esteem and confidence. Everyday she makes a positive step is a day worth celebrating. All the support and prayers on here are amazing. If you ever do need to talk to a neutral party feel free to email me here. | |
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lfrl
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Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 31 | |
| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 5/5/2007 5:52:28 PM | | Thanks to all for the wonderful advice. From the bottom of my heart I really thank you each and everyone of you for your kind thoughts and prayers. She is now out of the hospital and living with her father and his wife. She is currently on effexor and lithium and trazadone for sleeping. She is attempting to back to private school to try to get some credits. She was so looking forward to graduating (not the ceremony but that little piece of paper). It looks like now that if she can attend this private school she may end up getting 2 credits and maybe summer school for one more. The fourth credit (last and final one) will probably not be able to be obtained until the fall. She is struggling to stay strong and I am going to suggest for a medication change. She thinks that everyone thinks that she is faking the meds not working. I for one don't believe this line of medication is working for her. She is seeing a counseller still and I do agree with the above poster that the family needs to attend meetings to understand it better. Her father and I have different approaches to her situation and it's difficult for her to understand why we both act differently. I have learned recently that with some cutters that along with the pain some also need to see a physical mark in order to remind them of the release. Any thoughts on that? | |
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| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 11/1/2007 10:51:45 PM | | well i was never into cutting but i can explain why i think they do it.....i have S.A.D too and along with the anxiety there is this horrible crushing rage...a sick sour bitterness where i feel my life slipping away and ive had times where i hurt myself out of anger towards me...i feel like a faulty machine that doesnt work properly and i want to smash it...ive punched myself in the face numerous times out of frustration towards me...hating myself for being such a f uck up. the main points of the suicide aspect come from feeling you have nothing to look forward to....now 1 can say "oh shes 17 she has her whole life ahead of her" im 26 and all i experienced between 17 and now is pain...S.A.D aint no joke...it utterly cripples you to where you cant live...to understand you have to see it from their veiw....youre in a position where you have to force yourself every morning just to take a breath....i feel i have no reason to live because i cant do anything....its where youre too scared to live and too scared to die....thats me...i often pray to die in my sleep because i want an easy way out....because i no longer care about "letting the sickness win" this transcends pride and intestinal fortitude...it already has 1....i dont want punish any 1...i dont want to go to heaven or an afterlife....i just want to not exist....like before i was born....and if this girl feels the same its goanna be a tough battle....see i was lucky because i fear dying so even though i talk about suicide ill probably never do it....you have to try and veiw it from her perspective and most importantly SHE NEEDS TO FEEL SHE HAS SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO!!! shes 17 she still has a chance....where as im a working stiff my life is done.....YOU GOTTA SHOW HER THERES A FUTURE THATS THE ONLY WAY TO HELP!!! | |
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| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 11/2/2007 12:12:48 AM |
well i was never into cutting but i can explain why i think they do it.....i have S.A.D too and along with the anxiety there is this horrible crushing rage...a sick sour bitterness where i feel my life slipping away and ive had times where i hurt myself out of anger towards me...i feel like a faulty machine that doesnt work properly and i want to smash it...ive punched myself in the face numerous times out of frustration towards me...hating myself for being such a f uck up. the main points of the suicide aspect come from feeling you have nothing to look forward to....now 1 can say "oh shes 17 she has her whole life ahead of her" im 26 and all i experienced between 17 and now is pain...S.A.D aint no joke...it utterly cripples you to where you cant live...to understand you have to see it from their veiw....youre in a position where you have to force yourself every morning just to take a breath....i feel i have no reason to live because i cant do anything....its where youre too scared to live and too scared to die....thats me...i often pray to die in my sleep because i want an easy way out....because i no longer care about "letting the sickness win" this transcends pride and intestinal fortitude...it already has 1....i dont want punish any 1...i dont want to go to heaven or an afterlife....i just want to not exist....like before i was born....and if this girl feels the same its goanna be a tough battle....see i was lucky because i fear dying so even though i talk about suicide ill probably never do it....you have to try and veiw it from her perspective and most importantly SHE NEEDS TO FEEL SHE HAS SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO!!! shes 17 she still has a chance....where as im a working stiff my life is done.....YOU GOTTA SHOW HER THERES A FUTURE THATS THE ONLY WAY TO HELP!!!
This is the bravest post I have ever seen in an internet forum. To put yourself out there in this manner, with this level of personal insight, with all the vulnerability it entails, shows you to be one very special man. To do this in hopes of salvaging the life of another wounded individual is in itself a tremendous act of selflessness.
I needed to read a firsthand acount like this because I too have a teenage daughter, a survivor of divorced parents, who is currently in a residential treatment facility.
Her social anxieties are mind boggling to a dad. I have had to admit I don't get it on far too many occasions. She's the prettiest, the brightest, creative, well liked, most caring person in the world. . . . and she doesn't see it.
This has added an insight I never imagined, so thank you Vinny. You've helped that one person the cliche' talks about. | |
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| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 11/2/2007 4:21:30 AM | Most people don't understand depression unless they have had it. People always say, how can they be so negative, why would they want to do things like that? Well it's a hard thing to explain. Depression is a mental disorder and all has to do with chemicals in the brain. I have suffered with depression and still do at times. It is the worst thing to live with. I feel sorry for most teenagers now a days because I don't think I could do it. There is so much fear now a days amongst teens, the bullying is at an all time high.
To be depressed, it hits you almost instantly. You hate yourself, you wonder why people even look at you. You wonder why bother, you hurt so much that you just want it all to stop. So to some people, you might as well just not live. You would rather die than go through that pain 24 hours a day for the rest of your life. One hour of it can feel like days, so imagine how insane that can make you. You feel lost, unworthy, uncared for. It's a hard feeling to explain.
Stick with your kids, make them feel loved, tell them, hug them, LISTEN to them. Just spend time with them. Every little minute helps. | |
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| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 11/2/2007 5:11:54 AM | It is soooo sad, so so sad when a teen or anyone really tries to commit suicide. In high school a lot of kids tried, some were successful and some weren't. One of the survivors lives in a home. She is completely useless to herself, a vegetable if you will.
She tried to hang herself when her boyfriend dumped her for another girl because she wouldn't have sex with him. It was just so sad. Now almost 12 years later, she is there but not really there. A friend of mine who did her placement in the home for college, stated that she heard some of the attendants say, it's too bad she didn't succeed as this is no way to live. She was 14 or 15 at the time.
Since then I have worked in a group home and have come face to face with teens trying to kill themselves. I've often intervented, it doesn't feel good. Knowing someone is in that much pain, to the point where they feel that dying would be the best thing. Sometimes you feel completely helpless. Sometimes I used to wonder if I have ever came to that point where I just couldn't deal and thought about it.
I do remember but I also remember thinking about the effects it would have on the people around me. I thought, well at least I will be out of turmoil (as a teen sometimes even the lil things can seem so huge) but realize my family's turmoil would have continued endlessly. That and I don't think I had the guts to try.
I'm sorry to hear of your friend's daughter. I hope in the long run she will see how much more she has to live for and fight for the fight to live. | |
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| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 11/2/2007 6:56:11 AM | I just read through all the posts and I'm sorry that I didn't find this thread sooner. I really try to care for people and it hurts to hear about your daughter and anyone else in this situation. I had a suicidal girlfriend when I was about 14 y/o. Nothing I said seem to help until I started helping her to imagine what her future WOULD look like. I would tell her to imagine the kids she WILL have and how much love their going to have for her. That if she took her life she would be taking theirs too. I tried to ask her about places she might want to visit and experiences she had not yet had the chance to have. I shared some of my goals and reasons why I wanted to live. Giving her a way to imagine the future seemed to help. She had three kids at a young age and by no means are her troubles over, but she loves them with all her heart and I haven't heard her speak of suicide since the first time she found out she was pregnant.
Now that I'm a little older I have had the great fortune of reading many excellent books on psychology and personal development. I have attended many great life transforming forums and seminars and I am always shocked by the amount of people that find happiness while attending them. Some one had mentioned "The Secret". I found this to be an amazing DVD that anyone could understand and change their lives with. We have many exceptional forums in Toronto for all people from adults to kids as young as 8 y/o.
If you are suffering from depression or have someone close to you that is, the single most important piece of advice I can give is to get your hands on some personal development books, CD's, DVD's, or find out where seminars are in your area. By elevating yourself and truly understanding how the mind works you have a much better chance on helping those you care about.
My good thoughts go out to you all and I pray that everything will work out.
Take care of yourself and of those around you. | |
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| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 11/2/2007 9:39:14 AM | Hello IFrL
I may be of some help
I am a psych and general nurse worked inmental health field and hospitals for
17 yrs.
This girl needs activities to keep her busy. the tricky part is sheneeds you or friends to escort her their and encourage her to volunteer.
Once you start getting involved in helping others I notice less time to think of offing one self.
Find some interests and be involved non judgementally inher life
unconditional love . ( as we all make mistakes )
We need to help her find people her age to appropriately mix with.
Life is full of alot of negatives to keep teens in a very serious satistics of self inflictions
send me mail and Ill also reply one on one or better yet see if she wants to chat to me about it.
I love being a nurse and often they just want to be listened to instead of being housed and fed. My prayers are with you xox slowkisser aka laurie | |
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| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 11/2/2007 9:42:39 AM | | hey ttl glad things got resolved with the bus girl my prayers are with you and I feel the ont gov is making moves to hhelp more with teenage suicide attempts and it needs to not be hushed any longer.xox from a comunity nurse | |
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| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 11/2/2007 9:48:02 AM | Excellent busy guy . Perfect get them to imagine a bright outcome. Use humour.
Way to go with helping your friend.
Yes the book secret is inspiring I keep it handy
Also the book many masters many lives is amaizing.each person is unique and needs to find their own path. Perhaps we should ask pof if we can start some sort of forum for people needing to chat with friends like us. there are many aspects to looking for friends or chat partners . We have deeper personalities and so many of us want to help.
this subject wont go away .xox sk My heart and prayers also go out to u all. | |
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| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 11/2/2007 2:04:30 PM | A very difficult subject indeed. Bear in mind that suicide at any age is disturbing but we tend to see a teenage suicide as a throwaway. It can be more disturbing in that we generally think of the person as having their whole life ahead of them. This perspective unfortunately only comes with age, it is one a teenager may not embrace. I disagree with the people who think she should stay in the institution. Only my opinion of course but from past experiences in this area (and I have many) show me that what the person needs are people whom they trust and relate to who can talk and even more important LISTEN to what she has to say. A suicide is a great big cry for help and yes, understanding. If the girl feels she cannot be understood or is unique in her feelings of total dismay she will lean towards the suicide solution as her safety net. "oh my god if it gets any worse I'm goign to ed it all". Patience and caring and being with her no matter what she may say are keys to being helpful. We all do what we can. Take Heart.
Dave | |
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| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 11/2/2007 3:36:39 PM | | father3 i am glad i could present some insight.....another thing you mentioned your daughter is pretty bright creative and well liked and its hard for you to understand her social anxieties....i cant speak for her but with myself the root of my anxiety cancels out looks creativity and being well liked....i am a socially akward person i have difficulty speaking and every social scenerio is threatening to me....the youth culture today is very violent and barbaric to me and i dont feel comfortable....in some cases it isnt the situation but the persons ability to cope with things and i cannot cope with this stuff....if i do anything at all outside my comfort zone my pulse is so intense i feel it in my teeth...im freezing i shake and constantly feel like im about to crap myself....looks creativity and being well liked cannot fix that....there is often a focal point or a trigger...not every 1s is the same.....i was bullied hardcore as a child and all my life ive been on the receiving end of some 1s anger managment problems so to this day i am very aprehensive about speaking because im anticipating some 1 making me look like an ***hole and embarrassing me...as for the depression my focal point is women...and feeling inadeqaute....i just woke up and cant explain myself very well but my point is....try to find her focal points....the triggers. | |
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| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 11/7/2007 12:01:30 AM | I hope that everything is still going well for your daughter...
I almost attempted suicide when I was 16 or 17, and I used to be a self injurer as well. It's just a whole bag of sh*t really.
It started off with bullying at school, controlling and emotionally abusive mother, then I was sexually abused by an immediate family member, at the same time my mom let a psychopath move into our house and he mentally abused me, from that point it just got worse and worse. Eating disorders, cutting and nearly attempted suicide. I'd had a near death experience and it made me realise that being dead felt so much better than being alive. Things just stopped hurting. But I was halfway through taking the suggested lethal dose of my pills of choice when I stopped to really think it over, to try and look at it objectively, not emotionally. I realised that I would want to live, if my life were better. It wasn't that I wanted to die, but that I wanted to stop living the life I was living. So I wanted to seek councilling. The cutting went on, quite heavily and the depression raged on, but I was determined to face my demons and that's what made the difference.
All you can do is be supportive and loving and accepting of your daughter. She has to make the choice to want to get better, because if she doesn't want to be better it doesn't matter what you say to her, doesn't matter what institution you place her in, she won't get better until she's a willing participant in the movement towards her own recovery.
Eventually I got my councilling from a gov't funded youth services and my councillor was incredible. She helped me learn to face my emotions, to express them and to learn to be more assertive when dealing with others, to not accept anything less than what I deserved. She helped me learn to love myself again.
I went from laying on the floor unable to move, or else extremely angry and full of self-hatred, to living a pretty decent life, in my books.
I still eat too much, but I'm getting better. I still suffer from depression, but it's not as bad, it's manageable. All in all things are getting better and better.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, just keep being supportive of your daughter, and keep your eye on the light at the end of the tunnel. With any luck, things will get better!
Morgan | |
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| Teenage Suicide
Posted: 11/8/2007 1:53:54 AM | First, God bless you, your daughter, her father and step mom! You all seem to be doing all the right things.... especially, being her champions, but be aware, that this can (but not necessesarily [sp] will) be something she may struggle with all her life. I know this from experience.
Regarding the comments about anti-depressants being bad for "younger people", there has been quite a bit in the news, or maybe i just hear about it because i am in the medical field, but in teenagers, some of these drugs can actually exacerbate the problem. Teens' brains are still growing, developing, however you want to put it and there are studies on this.... Google it, the information is not that hard to find.
Once again, God bless and keep you in his loving embrace... | |
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