| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/15/2007 5:33:43 PM | | well i dont get support...and have never been to court to get it...probably never will....But if people are going to argue about a small amount of money such as movie money just for control...i think i have made the right decision to not go after it...i have better things to do with my time than argue over $20. | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/15/2007 5:34:58 PM |
Hmmmm? College education vs. The Last Mimsy..........Life insurance policy vs. Ninja Turtles.........GIC vs. Meet the Robinsons..........not give it back but ask my opinion about where it should go.......I got a million suggestions and buttered popcorn wouldn't be one of them......
But if you were still together, the child would be able to enjoy these things. That's what gets me about this debate- one NCP says that it should only go for material things for the child. (clothes, extra-curriculars, movies, etc.) Another says it should only go for household bills. Another says that it should only go to a savings fund. Etc, etc, etc.
All of these things are things your children would have/enjoy if they were living in a two parent household. WTH is the difference???
Know where each party is coming from (emotional experiences, financial situations, etc.) and plan for a future you both can agree on.
If you both could agree on something so important, chances are you'd still be together. Agreeing on such a thing is likely not going to happen. (Unfortunately.)
On the other hand -
it always comes down to this.......one side has some, the other wants to get theirs
Absolutely. | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/15/2007 5:44:27 PM |
If you both could agree on something so important, chances are you'd still be together.
Ahhh very astute PWG but the driver in the previous lifetime was "love" or whatever variation you had. This was your business incentive for coming to agreement. If you didn't have a guarantee of that no wonder your business deal fell apart.....no ROI. This time however your ROI is the fact NCP gets a level of control over their finances......CP gets relief of the headaches of pursuing those finances AND you both have more energy/income to benefit your children.
This is a ll prefaced by the fact both parties take their children's happiness and stable upbringing as a worthwhile investment.....if not then a hostile takeover may be required..... | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/15/2007 9:12:12 PM | I am the custodial parent and when I finish using his support money to pay off the 50 thousand dollar loan he walked out on, then maybe HIS money will go to help support HIS child that he also walked out on...
Just my 2 cents... Tracey | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/15/2007 11:03:57 PM | I agree Tracey...
Forgive me for not reading all the posts.
I do agree with the responses in the beginning. If you believe that is truely what your child's mother is spending the support checks on, then do something about it, instead of leaving your kid(s) with a coked out gambling woman.
But on the other hand... Some of you dads that have to pay child support and do it so reluctantly fail to realize that we moms spend all our money on our children before your check comes.... so when it does, IT IS OURS. See by then we have already bought our children food, clothes, toys, and what ever wants and needs they have. So once my money is gone, and yours finally comes... as long as the responsibilities are taken care of, then yeah.... if I want to blow it (no pun intended) however I want, I will. See it replaces what I already put out. | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/16/2007 2:45:16 PM |
Half goes directly into the bank, the other half goes to the kids for monthly allowance money.
wait a minute..what about the essentials? a place to live, food, clothing etc?
child support isnt movie money!!!!!!!!!11
No, it isn't movie money, but my ex is making 3 times as much as I do so she isn't hurting for anything. This way she pays for the essentials and my teenagers are able to have at least a few extras without it pulling from mom. It takes the extra pressure off her and allows them to buy the more expensive clothes, and things they seem to find essential. It also teaches them how to manage their own money, because once it is gone, they don't get any more for the month. Everyone wins as I see it. | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/16/2007 6:49:09 PM | Hey Its not the money, Its the fact that so many CP's are taking the support check and pissing it away. Why? one is most of them don't know how to handle money anyway. And the other is they have bad habits, Which will transfer down to the child of course. Then you have the ivory tower attitudes of the CP's who can spend it as they please, La La La, and the world is pink and rosy, and you shouldn't be whining, Just get out there and do something! Sorry, but the pink and rosys dont count in a world where you've never been sweetheart. So go back to folding your doilies and watching old reruns of The Cleavers. We'll call ya when we need a perfect world fix.
Personally I think if Child services are going to provide a service it shouldn't just be to the CP as it is, (collecting a check) and that is the only thing they do well because they collect the interest on it. In my estimation the Service is one sided and fat off there own tangled BS. Creating more Gov, red tape and confusion. Geeeee maybe send out a questionnaire to the NCP and CP concerning what they offer and how well are we doing as to meeting your needs? What services we provide? Have you any complaints about our service, Who to contact?.....Oh wait! We do get something from them! Docket fee (man pays) every year, Does the CP pay this.......? How many CP's pay a Docket fee? (paperwork shuffling fee)
Make the CP's take a money mgmt course Child services provides and follow up for a certain period of time. To make sure it's being done. BUT NO just give the dumba$$es money and cut them loose. Yea that works!...christ! | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/16/2007 6:58:14 PM | It also teaches them how to manage their own money, because once it is gone, they don't get any more for the month. Everyone wins as I see it.
hey! I stand corrected - sounds like you have a good plan | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/16/2007 8:08:00 PM | Yea ^^^^^^^this works when the two people are adult and have there children's needs above there own. I commend you sir. Unfortunately we have to many self serving, selfish, hatefull parents. No, actually they can never know what a real parent is because they, ONE, never had good parents or TWO, never take the time to read or try to be good parents.
(Stop the circle) so to speak, That would take Commitment! Sacrifice! Morals! Determination! and Oh yes! Work.........  Oh my lets see? hell if they had that they would still be together!........ | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/16/2007 8:26:36 PM | The child support I recieve from my x wife I sign over to my daughter who spends it on clothing or whatever she likes. She is 16 and does really good with it. If anyone out there has an issue with there former spouse spending "HABITS" just has to rememeber one thing. YOU WERE THE ONE THAT GOT MIXED UP WITH A DRUGGIE SO WHY **** NOW? | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/16/2007 8:41:55 PM | (Ass)tredan....^^^^^
She wasn't doing drugs when I knew her. Until she went to work for the Casinos.
You may want to READ to get the SCOOP. And whats up w/ that POS car...LOL Tell me that's not a Pontiac? | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/16/2007 10:58:45 PM |
If anyone out there has an issue with there former spouse spending "HABITS" just has to rememeber one thing. YOU WERE THE ONE THAT GOT MIXED UP WITH A DRUGGIE SO WHY **** NOW?
As tattat also stated... I didn't get mixed up with a druggie. He got into the meth after we were married many years, which is why I left! Also, his HABIT is what his child support (that he doesn't pay) goes towards... I have a problem with that, not because of the $ so much, but the most important thing in life... the KIDS, ask if their dad loves them since he doesn't care if they have food on the table or clothes to wear etc. They have also made comments such as, "I guess dad would rather go to prison (for non support) then help take care of us!?!" Imagine how the children feel? Put yourself in their shoes.... | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/16/2007 11:29:11 PM | | Uhhhhh OCEAN DREAMER? Ahoy there mate! Ya might have things a bit tangled up in the net there in Bikini Bottoms! Focus now!......She is the Druggie, and I do pay support, every week, without fail, I have it automatically withdrawn. | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 64 | |
| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/16/2007 11:34:05 PM | From reading this thread, there is one common denomenator here: NO ONE IS THE SAME. There are bad moms, bad dads, great mothers, great fathers, deadbeats, drug addicts, alcoholics, kids who suffer, kids who thrive.
To say that ALL single mothers or ALL single fathers are the same is silly.
Unfortunately, I think a lot of people who respond in threads dealing with this topic are dealing with their own "ex issues" so their view is pertaining to what they have experienced. Which is, of course, what the forums are about, personal views...but to insinuate that all single moms are the evil, money-grubbing, drug-addicted ****, or all dads are unpaying, lazy, selfish deadbeats is both unfair and uneducated.
For those of you dealing with a non-paying and/or non-contact ex, my heart goes out to your children. For those who ARE the non-paying or non-contact ex, grow up. | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/17/2007 12:07:57 AM | Ummm, Tattat... If I was not clear, I appologize. I meant that like you, I also didn't get mixed up with a druggie. My ex became a druggie later, you said yours wasn't a druggie when you knew her, until she went to work at the casino. I can relate to you (just on the flip side of the coin) and was responding to the post before yours who made the comment that we are the ones who got mixed up with the druggie ...
I'd like to add... I am not one who lumps all men or all women into one category. Whether it be the parent who receives child support and the $ supports a drug habit... or it is the parent who is suppose to pay but doesn't because of a drug habit... The children are the ones who are paying for it... | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/17/2007 6:25:58 PM | My kid sister's ex started that crap of "Where does all my money go? I want a drug test done!" So - when he tried some BS with her over his $350 contribution each month, in front of a judge, she handed a stack of receipts, and a sheet which itemized every one, just in case no one wanted to scroll through every scrap receipt. She also had a drug test done (which showed up clean, btw)
Receipts for daycare totaling over $700 every month, for food totaling over $300 every month, clothing receipts for shoes, coats and etc., totaling $100+ per month, RESP totaling $350 every month, diapers and baby needs totaling over $100 every month. For toys, courses, zoo trips, and all of that small optional stuff too. $1550 before she even factored in any utilities, gas, mileage, or extra home stuff that is for the entire household. And she pays it all with her own earnings, no assistance.
The judge dismissed the case, and warned the father to stop his antics, or a revoke of his paternal rights might be in order, and he only be granted access instead of partial custody.
We are waiting for him to ask for a DNA test next. | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/17/2007 8:14:04 PM | Her is a good one for ya,
In this wonderful free country that we live in.The legislature actually is is taking that money you send in and.........YES!Putting it into a savings acount and........YES!Making profit off of intrest....CPS doesnt give a rats behind because this is a great kick back for the DIVISION!
If your child support is really paying for drugs
MY LORD, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GET YOUR KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/25/2007 5:03:21 PM | I will repeat my previous statement that in most cases the child support paid does not cover even half of the actual basic needs of the child. We make up the difference.
what is the basic cost to raising a child? section 31 of the family law act (canadian law) states "both parents are financialy responsible to support the children" i have seen child support range from $200-$1200 a month for one child yet welfare, government, allows $150 per kid. so why does johnnys needs exceed suesies needs any different. just because his payer makes more money then hers. classic example, the guy in oakville living in the bush cus he cant afford to look after himself do to high support payments. | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/26/2007 12:17:50 AM | i read some of the post. not all..
but there are times where i get so frustrated with the system.. my ex has never paid a dime for my kids. sure he is in extreme arrears. and it is enrolled in fmep. but i know i will never get any funds for my kids.. someday it will catch up to him. but most likely after our children are grown and have their own lives. even then i doubt i will see a penny
.. i have struggled and done without so my kids have everything they possible can. ..
i tried to make deals with my ex . i told him to just pay for what the kids need. .. their school, clothes, camp or their sports,, he refuses..
so to the women that recieve child support be grateful.. that your ex has step up to the plate and done something for his children.. cuz there is lots of us out here that really have to do it alone..
my ex does not even see his children.. there is just me and me alone to raise my kids..
i know i have the greatest gift.. 3 great kids that i love with all my heart.. | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/26/2007 4:31:30 AM | | My child support goes on my kids, all £27 of it, I don't do drugs, I think it sets a bad example and says to the kids that's it's okay to do drugs, when in actual facts it's not. To be completly honest here, I don't understand how any parent can justify spending any money on drugs be that child support or what, when kids need clothing feeding and after school activities paid for. | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/26/2007 5:39:54 AM | My child support for my daughter's sports, movies, and any extras she needed. I don't do drugs, never have, so no worries about the CS going to a dealer.
For the past couple of years, my ex and I have been wanting to teach my daughter how to budget, so she's been getting most of the CS herself ...so basically, the money now goes to the mall or her hairstylist! lol | |
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| What kind of drug does your child support check go for?
Posted: 4/26/2007 5:54:01 AM | I think rather then ****ing about "where does my cs go to" you should worrie more about does my child have food in their stomach, cloths on their back, a roof over their head and are they happy? dont you think because I am sorry but to me right now with everyone who is going on about "I want to know where my money goes to" you all think that all your money is so much and it should take care of this and that, but in most case's guess what it isnt even HALF of wha is spent on the children.
Myself I spend just on my daughter this is not counting my rent and bill but this is food and cloths and diapers and what ever else she may need in the month about $700 between everything, and what I now get from my ex for his so called cs doent even come close to half of that a month. So before you start ****ing about where it is going why dont you just sit back and be happy that your children are fed, clothed, sheltered, and happy and leave it at that, and if they are not feed, clothed, sheltered, and happy then get into the courts and do something about it, but make sure that you can prove that this is not being met before going in there because you dont want to end up screwed in the end. | |
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