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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/9/2008 6:06:03 AM | | you know the real medicine here is to brainwash yourself, its easy all you have to do is ACCEPT that you will be alone and FEELINGS wont interfere anymore. Think about how they say love is blind right? well its the truth BUT it can go the other way also only its in reverse, you keep yourself blind to commitment, sex and love. Its diffacult at tist but if you keep instilling it into your head long enough it will happen. you know people talk about love like its this great force and at times it can be but its also at times painful the two walk hand in hand together in life. All the advise I can tell you is when you have that feeling of bieng alone just turn it off like a switch and accept the reality your in, believe me the pain of bieng alone will go away at that moment. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/9/2008 6:28:39 AM | sweetKristine,
yes I know I will live alone forever, but Im never really all alone. I have my friends which are one or two, I have aquaintences to talk small talk too, I have my kids and grandkids to love and cherish, I spend my alone time with music and a joint and I sculpt or draw, my daytimes can be spent in the gardens. I havnt met anyone who I
have had a happy ending with, so I prefer to not be commited , but if I meet someone I want to be itimate with then thats all it is, frienship with heart felt feelings nothing more. I choose to live alone. If I like someone enough then I will love him but inlove I have lost that ability along my lifes path, I think when In love for me that is, has been the times I have lost the most, I have lost apart of me, and I am not willing to loose myself with anyone agian.
learn to be happy alone, then maybe youll find someone to be happy with, at your young age dont scar your future with bad endings, hold out for what you want in another, dont settle. I had settled to many times in the past. I know that its much better to be alone and happy than to be alone in love. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/9/2008 6:39:38 AM | learn to be happy alone, then maybe youll find someone to be happy with, at your young age dont scar your future with bad endings, hold out for what you want in another, dont settle. I had settled to many times in the past. I know that its much better to be alone and happy than to be alone in love.
it took me a while to get used to being on my own after the break up of my 14 year relationship. But once i got used to it, i find i really enjoy my freedom!
I am really content with myself now, and i really love being independant. if i did happen to find true love, it would be a bonus, but if it doesnt happen so be it. i wont dwell on the fact that i've no partner, I have my children to love and as long as i have them i am never truly alone! | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/9/2008 6:57:20 AM | | Being alone is not so terrible...Forever, I dont think that way...I have jus today...So I make the best out of my day...I have more than enough to fill my time everyday...Im not in any hurry to make the mistakes I made when I was young...Ive become a good observer...Whatever happens, happens... | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/11/2008 9:55:06 PM | As pathetic as it is to say, I am seriously beginning to feel like Im going to be alone forever with each passing day. I know all of the advice thats been said a gazillion times...dont search for it, dont try so hard, enjoy your freedom, etc, etc, etc. The fact is, for some of us, you just are happier when youve got someone to share things with. And it seems like the older I get, the harder it is to even get someone to look my way, let alone consider a relationship anymore.
I dont know that Ill ever be able to just get used to being single. How can I when I know how wonderful it feels to be in love? And when you go out in public, anywhere, love is all around you. Whether it be at the mall when you see families walking by or in the eyes of a brother or sister that is with someone they just "click" with. Its not something that a person who desires love so dearly is going to be able to ignore.
So I press on. Rewriting my profile every week, writing emails to people knowing 99% of them are going to be "Read Deleted" without so much as a profile view back, and wasting too much free time trying to figure out what it is about me that makes me so hideous that a woman wont even take the chance to say hello back to me. Because I know I cant just stop looking, as so many people continue to suggest. I want love, doggone it, and if everyone else around me can have it why cant I? | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/11/2008 10:18:52 PM | | I am better off alone rather than being with the idiots I have met on-line in 4 years. Who needs the crap you have to go through with guys???.... They are either married or only looking for a one night stand anyway. When I see a couple together I wonder if she knows he is trying to sleep around with every woman on the planet before he dies. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/11/2008 10:54:53 PM | hey girl,
things will look up, i promise. sometimes life throws a curveball into the mix, but guess what? sometimes curveballs get hit out of the park. basically this is what its all about, one day the right guy is gonna come into your life and you're gonna forget about everything else, all those lonely saturday night and all of the crud that being a 3rd wheel entails. its all good girl. keep it fresh! | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:46:23 PM | | i couldnt help but notice this one. i too was awake at 4am, too emotional to sleep, worrying about not only the empty future, but the empty present. and its not just affecting me, its affecting my 2 year old son too, which is a million times worse. please do anything you like to me, but let him be ok. i have a daughter of 4, adorable, sweet, with down syndrome and autism. does this mean no one will ever get involved with me again? we have no family and their father has abandoned them completely. thus my son is trapped in a social void, he never sees any men at all , and its starting to really affect him. so, despite being delightful, intelligent, loving, he is facing a grim future at the moment. i am so scared of how it will affect him when he goes to school. i mean he has literally no one but me and his sister, who cannot communicate. how can i accept this for him? we went to a gymboree class today. run by a lovely man, my son tried to get his attention, but didnt succeed. as we went home, he said to me that he thought guy was cross with him. i watched his desperation in agony and despair. you may wonder where all my friends went. i wonder that too. i ring them up. they are very kind. but sooo busy. be in touch. yeah. right. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:48:16 PM | sometimes it's great to be alone.
you have alot of freedom todo what you want.
but i hear ya.
you find that one person and it is like finding gold.
remember tomorrow is never promised.  | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:51:17 PM | I have to say I came in late on this topic....there are an awful lot of unhappy people out there. With two bad marriages behind me, I can truly say there is nothing worse than a miserable marriage. However, everyone deserves to be miserable at least once in life!
I'm glad to see there are some out there that are happy with their lives, for their friends and families and so on. Right now, almost all my friends are single, so there is always someone to go to dinner or a movie with, so truthfully, I'm not lonely. (I also have my son and four or five of his friends hanging out in my garage every night) So, no I'm never alone! Sure, it would be nice to find my "soulmate" but in reality, I just don't think thats going to happen. I'll just take life as it comes, enjoy my nights and days out , and if it hapens, it happens. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:54:50 PM | | should add that this isolation is probably a sociological phenomenon - the result of a complex set of forces including probably the demise of the extended family, greater economic freedom and mobility, and the current emphasis on individualism and pleasure. i actually also have a 21 yr old dughter, but she is so busy finding herself, that she doesnt have more than a few hours every 6 weeks or so to see her family. i am told that this is not only normal, but acceptable, despite the suffering it causes. weird. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:58:21 PM | | i should perhaps add that of course we go to lots of toddler groups etc, we chat to people in the park etc. it all looks very friendly... its just the weekends, when everyone is with family, or easter, or bank holidays. i fwe go anywhere, its full of happy families. i feel a bit of a freak on my own with 2 kids. but its that or stay in the house all day. aarrgghh. sorry to go on everyone. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/12/2008 12:45:46 AM | maybe you shouldnt be sittign their, perhaps the whole internet is depressing, so many people are saying so.
Maybe you need to get out of cyber space fo ra bit and go and fidn something to do, join bowling or something,anythign and try that way
Dont be negative I think this site is not for everyone and its not you, its just iscolating you, so get out their, get on the web and find something to do, anything, jsut to meet and socialise with others,
i only got on here because I was sick and couldnt do alot, and I have found during the few weeks I have been on this site I have been exposed to so many negative people and stories its enough to make me want to delete my profiel and stay clear of it for good.
i know once I am back at work and well again i will turn it off and probably only check it once again as per before.
Its a bit like a computor game can be a bit consuming for some, so get of it and get out and have fun | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/13/2008 5:15:16 AM | I feel your pain.
It looks like alot of lonely souls here.
I've been alone so long it often feels like i'll never find anyone. I've pretty much given up on finding someone in my country, i plan to move to Japan, and pray that i have more luck finding someone there.
The loneliness is crushing at times, the only thing that keeps me going is the thought of moving overseas with the hopes of finding my one and only. I'm not exactly what you would call a social butterfly, so i have problems meeting, and interacting with women and the ones i do meet that are around my age seem to be more interested in getting drunk and going to the bar to pick up some man-whore for a one night stand, saying they want to meet a good guy that will treat them right to stay with...as long as they're a rich supermodel.
I have to believe that there is someone out there for everyone, i just have to. So keep your chin up, i'm pulling for you. You're not alone, in spirit at least. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/13/2008 9:22:33 PM | Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
I don't know what my going is ("your going"), but I'll make some assumptions.
After reading some of the postings in these forums, I'm beginning to hope so.
Let's see. In no particular order:
I get up when I want.
I go to bed when I want.
I cook what I want, when I want and eat when I want.
I shave when I want.
I take out the garbage when I want.
I leave what I want where I want.
I don't worry about anybody running out on me.
I don't have to worry about 1. birthdays, 2. anniversaries.
I watch what I want on television.
I don't get hassled about when I come in.
I don't get bothered about tracking anything in.
I leave the toilet seat wherever I please.
I wear what I want when I want.
The only person who could ever convince me change from my loner ways is dead. I am alone, but I'll very probably never be lonely.
There is nothing wrong with that as far as I can see. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/13/2008 9:30:48 PM | I dont know all about you men and women.
If you all feel alone and depressed, just seek after God, Jesus said and has said I will never or forsake you.
GBU EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU ON HERE | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/13/2008 9:59:19 PM | I use to feel that way and feel it's quite normal and part of living a single lifestyle. However, I feel it's important to be happy with yourself first and that means feeling it's o.k to be alone. Nobody can make you happy nor can anyone make you feel whole and trust me that attitude is everything when it comes to dating. Utilize this time that you have for yourself as a time of retrospect. Look back at your past relationships and learn what made them work and most importantly what did not make them work. We all have faults and baggage. Some just more than others. Just make sure the baggage that you carry along to the next relationship can easily fit above your overhead compartment (minimize it)!
We are also quite aware of our own faults....whether it be promiscuity,deceptive personalities,jealousy,anger issues, lack of trust, poor communication skills and the list goes on. I've been single know for over three years and it's been by choice. I truly enjoy this time alone and I have and felt that it has been an integral part of me being more in tune with whom I am and thus for being able to make better choices of whom I'm looking for. I believe the right person is out there for me as well as for everyone who is searching. Will I find this person?...maybe. We all know that treasure in the sea exists but it's no guarantee that we will find it. But when you get a better grasp of knowing who you are you'll find out whom to look for and the process of elimination begins. When you start to narrow your search for a partner you get closer to finding the right fit for both of you.
I wish you all the very best of luck and keep your head high...learn to be happy first. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/13/2008 11:02:44 PM |
Nobody can make you happy nor can anyone make you feel whole
There is truth to this statement but there is also another truth. The flip side of this coin is simply the person who got dumped in a marriage WAS happy and whole prior to the divorce. Now we can play with the words codependent and needy all we want but those descriptions didn't apply until after the fact. Before the fact I was just going through life doing my thing, going to work, providing for my household, fixing things around the house, you know, the husband things a husband and father does. I never felt needy or codependent in my life for 49 years. To say my ex and the lifestyle we lived didn't attribute to my level of happiness is just absurd. Yes, she did make me happy. Unfortunately, I didn't make her happy but I hear she still isn't so maybe it's a factor of being able to receive that which creates happiness, not that another can't 'make' us happy. What we receive and give to another DOES make us happy. We are not an island to ourselves. To infer another doesn't make us happy is just poppycock and modern day psychoanalysis. | |
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