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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:35:20 PM |
when you get that way, just remember, it's not bad being alone.
You LIAR. It sucks being alone and lieing to yourself dont change it. Humans are made to seek a mate, that is the way we are made. It is inheriantly unnatural to us to be alone.
Your statment is like saying, gee, I am riding in the car and I really have to pee, but there is no toilet around and my bladder is hurting real bad but HEY its not bad because think of all the water being saved because I dont have to flush the toilet. wtf ? | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/25/2008 6:38:15 PM | I tend to believe that loneliness is an unfortunate byproduct of the profound sociological changes that have occured in the past half century. Even in my parents' time, extended families tended to congregate within one geographical area. Ongoing social interactions with those one knew and loved over a long period of time provided a base of support (in my parent's case, that group was about forty people).
The extensive mobility that exists now removes this sense of connectedness to people that matter. Additionally, it means that friendships we've made through the years--friends that could also serve to assuage loneliness--are likely to be scattered all over the country, and far away from you.
And finally, marriage as an instituion is in a state of transition. Fifty years ago divorce was unthinkable, except in the cases of matters as serious as physical abuse. This social stability was imparted to their children, who carried their relationships forward with the seriousness that a marital commitment really meant the vows as written. Between the connection to one's extended family, and the connection to one's spouse--and seeing that this was the norm for society--the issue of loneliness was just not going to be the same as it is today.
Whether left by divorce or breakup, there is a much higher burden of loneliness placed upon us. Even those that instigated the divorce or breakup may well be influenced by society's notion that unless everything is perfect, you toss away someone pretty darned good in the hopes of finding Mr. or Ms. Perfect.
I wish I had some hidden insight into how to make this better for the numerous individuals out there suffering from a condition that is just not natural for human beings (anthropologically speaking, even if we do not find a mate, we are used to living in groups of 30-40, as we did in nearly the entirety of our human history). It is my hope that reading this will give some context into the much larger issues that are resulting in the contempary angst of individual loneliness. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/26/2008 3:05:42 AM | | I know exactly how you feel. And the if you're not looking for love, it will find you thing. That may work for some people, but you do have to make yourself available to the world so that they will find you. I seem to find all the jerks who play games and dont know what they want. I'm not interested in finding mr. right now, but seems like thats the only kind of guy that gets interested. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM!...lol. Cant these men see good women right in front of their faces?..lol. Every time I read a guy's profile, I think wow...why cant he find a good woman? He's looking in all the wrong places. And at the wrong kind of women. Guys always say women dont want a good guy, but thats not true. I always get the attention of guys, but its the wrong kind of attention. I would rather be alone than have a man want to be around me just for sex. I have high self esteem too. When women are alone and talk about being lonely, people always assume we have low opinions of ourselves...lol. When men realize that you dont have to be the size of barbie to be sexy, sensual and desirable, then more people will not be alone. Most guys think its ok to sleep with a bbw but thats where it stops. I'm beginning to wonder if mr. right is still out there..lol. Maybe hes just on vacation ( a cruise) and thats why he cant find me...lol. Any way my point to all of this is...you have the right to feel, ask, think, wonder if you're going to be alone and feel alone. Dont let anyone convince you to find other things to fill your life. You deserve to be happy with a wonderful man. Its true you can get on with your life and be happy with yourself while you're waiting for him.Just dont substitute other things for that happiness. Keep the faith girl, I know it gets hard sometimes. It will be worth the wait, when the best thing you've ever had comes your way. And dont settle for something else it doesnt bring happiness with the wrong man. Wow , dont I know about that one...lol. So in the mean time,work on being the woman you want him to find. Bring out that sexy, desirable woman who will rock his world! | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/26/2008 3:12:06 AM | You know what's really wild... all these beliefs that have lead most people to feel alone and separated is going to change in a few years. Pretty much like a worldwide overhaul on those old beliefs and it's going to do a complete 180 to where everyone will feel connected to everyone and everything...  | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/26/2008 4:04:46 AM | As for me, In my younger days (My early 20's) i felt this way but not anymore. I guess all it took for me was a bad marriage. Of course, I don't wish to spend the rest of my life alone but at the same time i don't want to spend it with another woman that drives me crazy doing crazy things. Been there, Done that and don't want to go back. Being alone isn't all that bad. One has to be comfortable in themselves before they can bring anything to the table anyway. What i am trying to say is i am comfortable just the way it is. If the right woman happens to come along that's OK, Happy day for me. But, If she doesn't that's OK to. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/26/2008 4:52:27 AM | I found the right man. We only see eachother on weekends. I have gotten used to that, it gives me something to look forward to. Unfortunately, that may change. He may be forced to take a job that requires he work weekends.
He lives in another state, and we are both in a position where we just can't pick up and move in together. I have a life here and he has a life there. Looks like I will be alone again. It's sad because we are both so good for eachother. Sometimes I feel like I am just not meant to spend forever with someone.
I guess for things to work the person, place and time has to be just right. One of the three can't be off. That's how things seem to be for me anyway. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:08:56 AM | | U need to put a pic up if men arnt not messaging u. Everyone likes to see who they are chattin too. We all are looking for Mr Right, what ever Mr Right is!!! Sometimes we find it, sometimes we dont. But least u are trying. You will probably meet him in the most unlikely of situations, when ur not expecting it!! If it happens, it happens, if not, just date and have fun!!! | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:22:08 AM | | I felt the same after my divorce from a 20 year relationship. I thought Id be alone forever too. But after 2 years of searching with no serious results, I pretty much gave up and stopped flirting. It was when I ignored the guy I was most interested in that he asked for my number, and yes the feelings are definatley mutual. Good luck honey, it DOES happen when you least expect it!! Just keep the faith and keep your yes open. If you dont want to be alone, then you will find someone who feels the same and you will recognize it in eachothers eyes. Good luck sweetie! | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:53:02 AM | | I have felt lonely at times, but look at it this way, you could be with someone and not happy, or them cheating on you, or be with a drunk, a hitter, who knows so it is best to be alone than with all those problems. I keep myself busy, go on dates when i can, go out with my friends, dinner and movies, life is a trip,friends plenty of them.I am a very emotional person, and when i love it is for one, so i have to be very careful or my heart will break sooooo , i watch out for the game players,if your lonely and want to chat contact me ,just friends you need them, | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 4/26/2008 6:34:14 AM | Kristine, I feel the same way. I have been married twice. 17 years and 8 years. They were both alcoholics.
It seems like their just isn't a guy out their that really wants to make the Big "C". They all have a fear of committing. They all say they want it, but not really. Not the total package.
Anyway, good luck to you. Lorna | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:34:32 PM | You know what's really wild... all these beliefs that have lead most people to feel alone and separated is going to change in a few years.
Yeah, that is what disgustes me about the dating pool. Muther ****ers have been in failed relationships and single for years but think magically it will all change one day. They will find the perfect partner and perfect life. well in reality you probably will ***hole, but not in your current life, when your DEAD, if perfection exists in the a world of souls as most religions claim. The fact is get off your ass and seek out a life that makes you happy, and NO ****ING WA"Y will it be perfect, NOTHING on this earth is perfect but it has to at least have enough merit to make you want to work out the imperfections, although you never will work out the imperfections.
The best you can achieve is an imperfect relationship that gives you moments of happiness.
BUT you cant get it sitting behind your computer screen not going on any dates or meeting people thinking it all is going to happen with no effort from you, and that pretty much sums up the online dating pool. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:43:05 PM |
I found the right man. We only see eachother on weekends
Why do I see that as a contridiction ?
You know, my ma and dad were together for 20 some years, he worked 70 hours a week, he thought he was with the "right" woman, till he retired and was home all day, then he realized,
You can call anybody the right person if you dont spend any time with them.
TIME together is the test. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 5/5/2008 3:52:46 AM | It's not all bad. Einstein came up with relativity while he had a dry spell!
I will admit that being single BLOWS. Though, it sucks less than the slim pickings that I have available. So being single I will stay till my sweetheart comes my way. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 5/5/2008 4:48:28 AM | I'm sure I probably will be - but again, that's not as big a deal as if I am healthy, happy, have the basics of survival in life and I enjoy it. Life's too short to worry about trying to pair off every 10 seconds. I'll take being single anyday over bad dating, drama and everything else that comes with trying to force companionship.
P.S. single does not = alone. Alone is having no friends, no family, no social life - most people have all that.
Learning to enjoy being alone is one of the keys to finding a healthy functional relationship. Even when you find someone, you're supposed to have your own lives, schedules and activities. When you really can't stand to be alone, it affects your decisions you tend to pick people that aren't good for you, and stay in relationships you know aren't productive.
No thanks! | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 5/5/2008 6:21:07 AM |
I'm sure I probably will be - but again, that's not as big a deal as if I am healthy, happy, have the basics of survival in life and I enjoy it. Life's too short to worry about trying to pair off every 10 seconds. I'll take being single anyday over bad dating, drama and everything else that comes with trying to force companionship.
P.S. single does not = alone. Alone is having no friends, no family, no social life - most people have all that.
Learning to enjoy being alone is one of the keys to finding a healthy functional relationship. Even when you find someone, you're supposed to have your own lives, schedules and activities. When you really can't stand to be alone, it affects your decisions you tend to pick people that aren't good for you, and stay in relationships you know aren't productive.
No thanks!
How would I learn to enjoy being alone, UB? | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:16:40 AM | wow this is a long thread!lots of pages...
I think its crossed all of our minds,whether weve been married,divorced,widowed whatever we all are made to want a companion,partner,friend,lover...but I feel to
say it to ourselves that we will forever be alone is just putting that negative out in the universe and bringing the very thing we dont really want to us...to be positive and think my
soul mate is coming to me now is much more reassuring for me than to say Im ALlllways gonna be alone,how sad is that!?and mean while live life and make new friends and enjoy life as it is now until Mr as Ms wonderful comes along!! | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 5/6/2008 2:52:23 AM | MiMan 01
I take back what I originally said, because your right it is a contradiction, what you said does seem to make more sense.
The best you can achieve is an imperfect relationship that gives you moments of happiness. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:49:48 AM | hi
well i been alone most of 13 years dated in that time but nme and kids lived alone , now the 2 son gone and my girl dating more than me ,im glad when i felt lost like u i got 2 small dogs , there so pleased to see u and always want a hug and make you smile when u down trust me when you feel happy where u are guys will feel the peace with in you and sart to flood back ,work on lots of friends not bf and see which one chatches on fire then date him . waiting not a bad thing . if every you want chat just mail me sweetme hope its been some help xx | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 5/6/2008 5:21:34 AM |
...but I feel to
say it to ourselves that we will forever be alone is just putting that negative out in the universe and bringing the very thing we dont really want to us...to be positive and think my
soul mate is coming to me now is much more reassuring for me than to say Im ALlllways gonna be alone,how sad is that!?
For some of us it's too painful to carry on hoping. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 5/6/2008 5:33:44 AM | Ross having such a negative attitude towards such things will only bring negative people into your life.
Some people do have to wait years before they find somebody suitable.Are you looking in the right places?focusing on finding somebody with the same interests?
Be positive about life and love as it has a lot to offer ..
Defeatist attitude young man,perhaps this isnt the place you will find love..you are not alone there trust me,try being a little more relaxed about things,get out and about and enjoy your life..you can find love in the funniest of places..chin up . | |
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