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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:11:38 PM |
All my friends are married and/or have kids...as much as i'm happy for all of them, it's depresssing.
I've recently come back from living in Korea, and I found that at least there, the single women were the most amazing. J, for example -- she has a masters in chemical engineering, is fluent in three languages, can fix cars and computers, cooks up a storm, can do all the "girl things" like decorating (she had the bland room we had our church services in looking like a Christmas party in about twenty minutes of just putting up little touches), sings and plays flute and keyboards, can negotiate a discount on just about anything, and is kind and funny and beautiful as well. She's 37, single, and with zero romantic prospects. If I was a man I'd be moving heaven and earth trying to win her heart. But there she is, unable to find a suitable man. And most of my Korean friends were in similar boats -- intelligent, well-educated, talented, beautiful, and single.
Granted, that's a different culture. Submissive women are valued. A woman with a mind of her own is not going to be popular with the men. I told J that she needed to move to Canada or the US, where she'd have men fighting duels over her. But sometimes I wonder. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:14:15 PM |
I hear ya, and feel lonely sometimes too. I'm pretty sure it's natural, felt like that when i was married.
That reminds me of something Rich Mullins said shortly before he died. "People say to me, Rich, it's terrible that you're still single. And I say yeah, every night from about 10 to 2, it is pretty tragic to be single. But that's a pretty tragic time for a lot of married people, too." | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:18:26 PM |
Yeppers, I wonder if I will ever really connect. I get choosier as the years pass.
Me too! The cliche is that as we get older we get desperate and we'll settle for anybody, but I've found it to be the opposite for me. When I see a man who has some loathsome or troublesome characteristic (bad hygiene, alcoholic, lazy, rude, whatever) I'll think, "Thank God I'm not saddled with the likes of HIM!" When I see a man with an admirable trait (generous, kind, intelligent, well-educated, faithful) I'll think, "See? It's not too much to ask." | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:24:31 PM | Yes, I sometimes feel alone, and it is hard sometimes. Towards the end of my marriage, even when my husband was home, I felt alone, so I'd rather be by myself and feeling lonely, than be in a bad marriage and feeling loney.
Hang in there, there is a perfect mate out there for you. Just go slow and wait for the right one. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:28:07 PM |
I don't notice it so much in the daytime because I have so many friends around me and have a busy life, it's just at bedtime i notice it
Yeah, I feel it at night even after the best day. But I also feel it most keenly when I look over my past and there's nobody who has been there. My daughter visited me for a week in Korea, but other than that it was just me and the friends I had while I was there -- who have, like me, moved on. We have other lives now. There's nobody who went to Thailand with me. Nobody went to Japan with me. Nobody went to Barcleona with me. So while those are happy memories, there's nobody to share them with. I want to look at the pictures and have somebody who was there with me who can say, "Yeah, that was funny when that raft went right over our our raft and we had to run for our lives!" But there's nobody. Even Mongolia, my friend Maria and I went together, with a tour group. But I did my fun grocery shopping the last day with Anne, a girl from the tour group. We've gone our separate ways. There's nobody in my life who will remember the excitement of all the things I discovered in the supermarket -- kasha, Ritter Sport chocolates, airang.
I can meet people who have had similar experiences. When I got back from Mongolia, my friend Julie and I swapped shopping stories. (She got excited over Miracle Whip and brownie mix.) But that's not the same. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:40:50 PM | | i am very tired of being lonely! i hear all these songs about their soul feeling hollow and can't breath without you. i'm am soooooooo tired of feeling that way. it is really hard going through life this way. i wonder every day when its going to stop feeling this way because i certainly wouldn't call it fun at all. its like i can't rest- i'm always searching. There is not a word out there that explains how much this feeling sucks. "sucks" isn't even a bad enough word to describe it. i know there are worse words but THOSE aren't even bad enough to describe how it is. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/15/2008 6:01:59 PM | I know the feeling. I go back and forth all the time with...I am ok being alone and then I want to have companionship. Then I'll go back to...I've come to terms with the idea that I might not ever get married. But, I've finally decided that I don't want to be alone forever...but I also don't want to "just settle" for someone. I want to find the right person. He has to be out there somewhere...right?!?!?! | |
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| ans. your question
Posted: 6/15/2008 6:02:07 PM | Man or women , we all go out there looking for a dream machine, good looking, wealthy and fit and mostly just easy play. So go on keep on searching and learned from your mistake , there are 3 man for every woman, good luck girl.
Kalimem | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/16/2008 11:44:44 AM | | I know where you are coming from!! This year so far I have tested the waters and have dated 2 different guys (both I met here at POF) and I wonder sometimes, if I will ever meet someone that is honest, respectful, loyal and caring. I wonder.... God, does it really have to be this difficult?? I too, have self-esteem, it just seems that everyone around me that I know have a good solid partner in their lives except me!! Sometimes I wonder if its me, as if I am doomed to be alone...... And I hate it when my friends say c'mon lets go out, but then I feel as I am the third wheel because they want their partner to join us too. I just end up saying no now. Wonder if there is light at the end of the tunnel? | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/16/2008 9:15:27 PM | Hi lil Lady;
I am sending this to you to let you know how i feel about lonelyness
 an i am in this as no one ( at least i thought no one till now )
has ever dream of an now i like you are going to bed at night with my
arms so empty an that is when i am at my worst time , during the day it
isnt to bad cos i can find something to occupy my time but at night it is
totaly different an even sitting here before i lay down i am an
i wonder where it is i have made my biggist mistake , I have met a lot of
Ladys an they tell me after a couple of dates that they dont want to date
me anymore cos i am too nice , an all i try to do is treat them like Ladys
an open the doors for them an light their cigs if they smoke an put chairs
under them when they sit an help them with their wraps an when they
say they dont like that , i say thats the way i was raised up to try to treat
people good an that is the way i am , i appligize for burning your ear for
so long but i just thought i would let you know there is another one of
whom is lonely like you , have a Super Great day
Sencerely
Your New Best Friend
the Wolf
wolf81111@yahoo.com
Oh by the way i am in the Choo Choo area | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/16/2008 9:39:30 PM | I think we have all been where you are kristine at some point in our lives, and even I think know i shall never find the ideal man for me, but the key is not to dwell on it but make the most of what you have got know.
maybe you wont find your guy on POF, seems to be a very lucky few, I like you get replies from guys far to old for me, (probably give 1/2 of them heart attacks withing a week lol) and im not a size 10 either.
ive come to the conclusion there are far to many guys on here who just want you for sex, and they seem to think us larger girls, thats all were good enough for.
try not to fall into the desperation trap, as men can smell that a mile off.
coarlan  | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:12:37 PM | | SWEETCARAZ: This is one of my favorite posts. I couldn't put it any better. I don't worry from day to day if I am going to meet "HER" like I used to. I love being single, not stress, nobody to answer to, but I wouldn't mind if I met "HER" as well. I don't know of a lot of people out there that can handle being by themselves. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:26:33 PM | I agree with you BulldogMedic.....I've lived a Christian life doing everything I'm suppose to...and the story goes on from there and I have to admitt the Lord has blessed me with everything but a mate...I believe not all of us are meant to be with someone even though that's not in the bible but how do you explain it? Some of the most good people do die alone and it's never no one choice...how don't care how righteous per say that person is they never rec'v their mate. I would lovvvve someone to explain that one? Please don't say FAITH..look at what faith got thoes people... | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:31:07 PM | | I agree with you BulldogMedic.....I've lived a Christian life doing everything I'm suppose to...and the story goes on from there and I have to admitt the Lord has blessed me with everything but a mate...I believe not all of us are meant to be with someone even though that's not in the bible but how do you explain it? Some of the most good people do die alone and it's never no one choice...I don't care how righteous per say that person is they never rec'v their mate. I would lovvvve someone to explain that one? Please don't say FAITH..look at what faith got thoes people... | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:31:42 PM | | ya i know what you mean. i do the same thing ever weekend and it is scary to think i might be alone forever. i think part of the problem is that i look so young and no one thinks im 31 by my pic. i dont know how you deal with this but it is driveing me nuts i just want to meet a person that i can take care of or be with that is a good person. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/17/2008 6:00:27 PM | | Girl! Who are u tellin? I'm like the third wheel also and to be honest with u it sucks. I get lots of e-mails but they are like from 23 year olds or 50 year olds, I'm looking for someone that I can connect with and who appreciates women, not into the whole booty call thing, respect myself too much for that. And friends are just that......friends. It's really very lonely sometimes, but I try not to let it get me down, I'm an upbeat person and I guess I'm just looking for the same. I guess when the time is right we will both find good men until then........we just need to keep asking for applications.......I wish u well in ur search.......take care | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/17/2008 6:55:08 PM | it's this way....i don't remember if i posted in here before unless i go through all of the pages to see if and what i said.....anyway, yeah, i feel like i'm going to be alone forever but i know as long as i have some good friends in here i'm never going to be lonely...i'll always have someone to talk to. if i'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life then so be it, if i'm destined to find my match then that's even better. i just have to sit back, relax, and enjoy the conversation (and posts) until hopefully that day comes around. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:07:58 PM | There are worse things than being lonely ... like being in a bad or abusive relationship. I've felt lonely many times ... been the 3rd wheel for oooo, most of the last 18 years. BUT, now, there are lots of prospects... I was in a relationship that had potential, but he has issues he refuses to admit he has - says he is always right and always upbeat [wrong!!] - just unrealistic and a tad too controlling - so I have given up trying with that one.
I just connected with a nice guy I dated before, probably won't get back together romantically but as a friend , yes. There are other new men in my life and 1 old friend/lover ... we've kept in touch and we definitely have a spark - still! And we can talk, openly and honestly. Life is looking up in that department, finally. [lol... and I'm speeding towards 50!] | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:08:17 PM | | For all the times you feel alone, others with partners experience negative emotions, surrounding their relationship. Significant others will always let one another down, or disappoint each other. When people break up or fight, the emotional trauma they feel is so much WORSE than the occasional emptiness you feel for being alone. It's just that the grass is greener for you. Believe me, it is better to be alone, instead of being in a bad relationship, and all couples have their differences and fight. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:16:25 PM | Just remember whatever you do don't settle. I have always been told that when you stop looking he will show up so just remember that. Also it is better to be alone that to be with the wrong person. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:23:23 PM | | I'm happy with my life. So if I'm alone forever, it doesn't matter. But sure, would love to find that special someone, but they would have to be mighty special. For now, I'm very happy! | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:11:04 PM | | I feel this way quite often. I never understand it, either. I treat women with love, consideration, and respect. I hear all the times horror stories of men abusing the women they're with and I have never in my life laid a hand on a woman. I'm gentle and romantic and like to do little things that make the woman I'm with feel special. I'm the polar opposite of the "typical male" so many women say they loathe. And yet, it seems every woman I try to contact ignores me, or they tell me I'm "not their type." I always would have figured a woman would want to be treated like a lady. That's all I do, and I end up getting my heart broken time and again. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/18/2008 11:35:25 PM | | This is pretty much how I feel all the time whether around others or not. I don't mean I'll never have a relationship, or won't get married, develop a fondess for someone over time - but having that real connection and intimacy stuff people talk about: I don't think it's something that will happen. Once in a while I forget this and it results in a small dose of disappointment when reality clicks back in. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 6/18/2008 11:48:50 PM |
Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
All the time. I have a buddy who just got married, another one who's been there for almost two years, every gal I do know who I would date has a boyfriend, and it doesn't help that I'm pretty anti-social. | |
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