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zeeba
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Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 1001 | |
| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 8/14/2008 7:35:08 PM |
No, it is not worse, you already have someone. If you don't want to be there leave.
So true. There are many things that can be done in this situation -- try to communicate with the spouse/SO, find a workable compromise if children are involved, set a deadline and timeline for getting out of the relationship. But no, it isn't worse.
I posted earlier as well; I suspect that I will be alone for the rest of my life for a lot of reasons. But, I am doing my best to be sure I have connections with family and friends so that I won't be lonely. Getting involved in activities helps a lot as well. For example, my involvements are with singing and as things gear up, with local and state political campaigns.
And honestly? Sometimes, those relationships are about the best we can hope for! | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 8/14/2008 8:09:24 PM | Alone forever?
At my age, I'm not concerned... but I do feel like I'm moving verrryyy slowly, and need to get my feet wet if I'm ever going to find "the one". | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 8/15/2008 7:42:44 AM | I am a practical person. I am not a dog and actually attractive with a nice body and have a lot to offer a man in many ways. I have just not made the right connection. I get out and I have friends but sometimes, yes sometimes I do get so incredibly so incredibly sad and lonely. At times it can be so very overwhelming. It is not about pity or low self esteem. We are all human and human require companionship. And even if we are no longer bearing children it is a human need to appropriate. So, we yearn for that mate. It does not matter if we are fat or skinny, barbie doll or an ugly duckling. No one is perfect and we are all pretty to someone. We all can have the same feelings from time to time.
Fact of life. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 8/15/2008 7:51:12 AM | Dear Fight naked;
I couldn't agree with you more. My husband passed away almost 4 years ago and I sometimes thinking that no other man will ever look at me the way that he did or want me the way he wanted me. Its a terrible feeling knowing that the chances of staying alone for the rest of my life is a possibility.
You are not alone my dear....take care | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 8/18/2008 9:34:48 AM | you can ring me up Kristine.. sometimes I am exactly like. I find myself stuck at home on a saturday nite or all day sunday.. I avert that by making plans during the week with friends at work. sometimes if you don't ask whats happening.. people forget to tell you or inform you where the get togethers are
tony | |
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Katir
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Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 1007 | |
| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 8/18/2008 12:29:04 PM | Sometimes. It's funny actually... I mean, you're supposed to be all non-lonely acting to attract others, even when you're lonely. Lol, human nature is kind of stupid and unforgiving sometimes, isn't it.
So yeah, I think it's healthy to feel lonely... it's your own way of keeping yourself looking.
But I do have a question... why not take destiny a little in your own hands and email some guys that you are interested in yourself?
It would certainly speed up the boring process (I can't imagine) of "sit and wait", wouldn't it?
Just a thought :) | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 8/18/2008 12:49:52 PM | I do, actually. For numerous reasons. But I think....I prefer being alone for ever. If I found someone special enough, I suppose I'd consider marriage. But he'd have to be pretty amazing. Once upon a time, marriage and babies was my ultimate goal in life, and my internal clock ticked away. But...I was too focused on that, and finding someone to fill the position to make that happen. It made me...unhappy. My goal now...is being happy, no matter where I am in life.
I like not making compromises, I like having the bed to myself, not having to wait for the shower or toilet. I like choosing what I have to eat, not having to worry about someone elses wants and needs, or what they might be up to. I like having control of the remote, and picking up 5 old chick flicks from the video store. I like only having to pick up after myself. I like that I'm clean, and my home is clean, and I like my home. I like that I can listen to MY music all day, that I only have my own issues in life to contend with. I like that I can spend money when and how I want. I like living without a 'by your leave'. I like my me-time. I like my time with my friends. I like dating and variety.
My life is so....stress-free! And so fulfilling! I'll say it again...he'd have to be pretty amazing for me to want to consider anything exclusive or more. Cause I'd be giving up a lot, making a lot of concessions. I'm not sure I'm prepared to do that for anyone. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 8/18/2008 12:52:14 PM | I do feel like that sometimes.
Other times I don't.
Life doesn't always treat us fairly, unfortunately. And some of us may end up alone, not because we want to be, but simply because we may not have been at the right place at the right time .. or we may prefer remaining unattached.
I don't mind being a third wheel when I'm out with the friends I love. I know they like my company, as much as I do theirs.
And yes, like Katir points out, why not give destiny a little push and, if not date, at least surround yourself with people and socialize. You never know what will happen. Someone, I can't recall who offhand, wrote 'it's best to make friends before you need them' ... they make a good point. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 8/27/2008 1:06:37 AM | Absolutely! I live in this little cow-town, the only men around are married, in college or hang out at the bars. Wait those are the married and college kids. Ugh! Sometimes I feel like I am the only (30 something) single person left in town.
I have come and gone off of single sites thinking somehow I will meet someone special. I try to get out and volunteer, go to public forums/activities around town. But, there again I am a 3rd wheel. To go out by myself isn't always good either.
I also have good friends, wonderful family and a great job. But it does get lonely. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 8/28/2008 6:10:44 PM | I do, actually. For numerous reasons. But I believe that I may prefer it. If I found someone special enough, I suppose I'd consider marriage. But he'd have to be pretty amazing. Once upon a time, marriage and babies was my ultimate goal in life, and my internal clock ticked away. But...I was too focused on that. It made me...unhappy. My goal now...is being happy, no matter where I am in life.
I like not making compromises, I like having the bed to myself, not having to wait for the shower or toilet. I like choosing what I have to eat, not having to worry about someone elses wants and needs, or what they might be up to. I like having control of the remote, and picking up 5 old chick flicks from the video store. I like only having to pick up after myself. I like that I'm clean, and my home is clean, and I like my home. I like that I can listen to MY music all day, that I only have my own issues in life to contend with. I like that I can spend money when and how I want. I like living without a 'by your leave'. I like my me-time. I like my time with my friends. I like dating and variety.
My life is so....stress-free! And so fulfilling! I'll say it again...he'd have to be pretty amazing for me to want to consider anything exclusive or more. Cause I'd be giving up a lot, making a lot of concessions. I'm not sure I'm prepared to do that for anyone. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 8/28/2008 6:26:00 PM | I totally get you. I am the same. Recently divorced, doing the single mom thing and everyone around me is married/ dating someone. No fair I say. But then a friend gave me this book called "Its Called a Breakup Because Its Broken" and I felt a bit better. I hated sitting at home depressed that my x was still after 2 years with the same girl he cheated on me with, and I who didn't deserve it was home alone.
Anyways I get it!!! | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 8/28/2008 7:31:44 PM | Really, who hasn't thought about it, especially after a bad break up, or a long duration of being alone? I have felt that it is most likely that I will be living the bachelor's life for the rest of my days. However, I am not going to list all the pros of being alone, nor do I want to point out the obvious cons. The point I want to make is that if it wasn't for the media and the imprinting by everyone that there is someone for everyone, maybe being alone wouldn't be percieved as such a bad thing.
We've all heard, "...oh, you just haven't met her/him yet..." When you hear this, don't you just want to beat the crap out of them? You know the person, they have a good, stable relationship and have never really known loneliness. The last time I heard it was from this young, beautiful woman who is getting married soon. I just thought to myself, "what the h^&* do you know? Look at you, you don't have to worry about that um...EVER." From someone like her, it made me think more about, "what woman, that I will be attracted to would be attracted to me???" I mean, sure I get women to look at my profile, but something tells them not to contact me. I send emails out and sometimes I get responses, but it doesn't seem to get any farther than a few words back and fourth. One woman actually talked to me all day, then suddenly stopped out of the blue. I don't know, but I think she never seen my pic until, late and decided to stop talking.
Lesson learned: just play the hand I was dealt and deal with being alone forever. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 9/1/2008 2:04:51 PM | Hey I also feel like I am never going to meet anyone and that deeply upsets me. Almost feel like saying whats the point of carrying on. If I die alone it might aswell be a place and time of my choosing.  | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 9/1/2008 4:39:21 PM | I get this feeling too. I joined 2 dating sites and the girls that wanna talk to me are ones that want my money. Thats even worse than what you describle. Also I might message someone and after we get going they never reply to me again and I am left with the thoughts-"they have a right not to reply to you" I fell same as you wrote. I too have many friends and most of them are girls but if I show fellings that go above friendship they look like they wanna run for the hills. Those closer to me say- "dont worry -youre ONLY 29 " But they were saying that 10 years ago.! Reading your post was like me speaking to myself.
Leo xx | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:26:56 PM | | I'm going on 41 and been hearing all kinds of things from freinds and relatives about being single yet. I take it day by day, maybe I'll meet a nice lady and we'll start talking and hit it off right away and maybe I won't. The way I look at it, if two people meet and they are meant to be together, they will know it . | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 9/2/2008 3:30:07 PM | Just get a dog for that warm and cuddly stuff.
AND ......
If you actually miss the feeling of those being undesirable / worthless / un-attractive / ignored / being 10 on their list of important people - feelings you ex provided for you ......
get a cat too. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 9/2/2008 3:30:57 PM | I have been alone now for a number of years, I have read a lot of the posts and can identify with some of them.
Its not easy being alone, but yes, its far far better than being with the wrong person. I do of course miss the sharing, the laughter, the closeness a relationship brings and who knows if I will ever find it again. The best thing to do I guess is hope it does happen, to have a positive outlook and be open to whatever c omes your way.
Life is full of surprises so one never can tell what is around the corner. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 9/2/2008 6:04:43 PM | Yes, Yes, and Yes. I know exactly how you feel girlfriend! I just got the "kiss off" from someone who I thought I matched with perfectly! But...
So yeah, I know how ya feel. Ya see the traits that people are looking for and say"thats me" so why aren't they responding???? Who the f--- knows?????? And I am with ya, I have self-esteem too! Even tho sometimes it gets knocked down a notch when ya get rejected or ignored! How can it not?! I try to keep telling myself that there is that 1 person for me - and it'll happen----but frankly I still want to be breathing on my own and not be walking with a cane when that happens
So....we just gotta keep trying and hope we can finally say  fish ON!
good luck to ya. c | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 9/3/2008 4:35:13 AM | MSG 1009
Posted By: Everyday Absurdity on 8/18/2008 8 52 PM
Subject: Ever feel like your going to be alone forever? "My life is so....stress-free! And so fulfilling! I'll say it again...he'd have to be pretty amazing for me to want to consider anything exclusive or more".
this comment is so full of wisdom.
I am not sure I could change my single life for living with someone but do wish I had a bigger group of single friends - because single friends our age are diamonds, you dont have to talk about stuff you know how eachother is feeling, and we all get lonely saturday night and sundays are hell to fill week after week.
And boyfriend yes would love one (without his suitcases) meet up go on dates and be dropped off or drop him off at the end of the date, so many these days arrange a weekend at your place, cooking cleaning shopping and falling asleep in front of a movie, where is the romance in that - divorced one of those I would like the bits they put on their profile, the 'out and about guys' who never have time to go home cos their life is so full - that's what I would like. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 9/3/2008 5:30:46 AM | | LOL...thats a good question...and the answer I give is, yes, everyday!!.I've only ever had 3 relationships in my life and for one reason or another they have all broken down (some things my fault, other times, circumstances and bad luck).In the past, I always imagined and dreamt of being with my soulmate and growing old with them, but as time goes on (and I get older!) and I make absolutely no progress in finding that special person, then that "dream" had faded and I have almost accepted now that I will be "alone forever".Unfortunately, I live in the middle of nowhere, so there is VERY VERY limited opportunities to meet anyone in "real life" my work is very male orientated and I do not come into contact with new people through it.It seems that online is my only hope and after being in here (and other sites) for about 2 1/2 years and only having had 2 dates in that time, then I don't exactly think that "that hope" is very big!!!...(yes, I AM feeling sorry for myself today!! LOL).... | |
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