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| | Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?Page 49 of 60 (20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60) | | Yes...but I don't care. I'm focused on a higher power. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/22/2010 6:42:31 PM | | I was planning on becoming a nun but it wasn't my calling. After 3 relationships, I think I know what I do want and don't want in a relationship. Anyways, right now, I'm focused getting my life and career back on track. Only time will tell. I'm not in a rushed to be married though, I rather wait for the right one. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/23/2010 5:31:38 PM | Sometimes, I really wish it were possible to turn off that part of your brain that wants to find that special person, if such a part does exist. I would volunteer for that right now!  | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/23/2010 6:08:49 PM | | I sure do. In the past (when I did date) I tend to attract men who basically want someone to listen to their problems, make them laugh, and provide them with sex until they find someone better. Usually someone younger and prettier. I'm done with that crap. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/23/2010 6:10:21 PM |
Sometimes, I really wish it were possible to turn off that part of your brain that wants to find that special person, if such a part does exist. I would volunteer for that right now!
Well I'd be second in line! Lol. If that were possible I'd feel so much better. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/24/2010 6:15:57 PM | | I feel like that more and more everyday and I really don't understand what happend to myself. Girls use to like me but not anymore and I dont know what changed. I recently lost 30 pounds and thought that would help but it hasnt. I had low self esteem to start with and this site has made it 100 times worse. I have never felt so ugly. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/25/2010 2:56:39 AM | | I think people in this day and age have zero attention spans. With the advent of the internet they know its just a click away to find someone new. You don't have to put in as much effort as before to meet people online. I think when people invested more time in looking for someone they took it a bit more seriously. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/25/2010 7:43:37 AM | Alone = isolation, desolation, alienation. Few people are actually somewhere there is no human contact.
Single = uninvolved. Far cry from solitary confinement. Many single people have friends, co-workers, neighbors, community, family and even pets. Therefore single isn't technically alone.
For people who honestly think single means alone, I can see why they're panicking. I would too if I thought an SO/spouse was the only company worth keeping. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/25/2010 9:45:42 AM |
Alone = isolation, desolation, alienation. Few people are actually somewhere there is no human contact.
Single = uninvolved. Far cry from solitary confinement. Many single people have friends, co-workers, neighbors, community, family and even pets. Therefore single isn't technically alone.
For people who honestly think single means alone, I can see why they're panicking. I would too if I thought an SO/spouse was the only company worth keeping.
In general, I agree wholeheartedly with this concept. But in practice, I don't think it's quite that simple for everyone. There is a big difference between quality interaction and bare human contact, just as there is a big difference between true friends and friends and co-workers who are really nothing more than acquaintances.
So, while single doesn't have to mean alone, for some people the reality is that it does. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/26/2010 12:37:34 AM | | Yes I have that feeling every single day. I often find myself daydreaming where i'm in a relationship with a man that makes me truly happy and doesn't care about what I look like physically. But then, reality sets in and then I start crying :( In the 28 years that I've been alive, I've only gone on two dates (one date per guy) and that's it! I try to be optimistic, but I find it very difficult at times. See, for most people, finding a partner is difficult, but for me its twice as hard because I have a physical disability. I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis at the age of 5. I have some visible bone and joint deformities and I currently walk with two canes. So with my dating history (or lack thereof) I pretty certain I will spend the rest of my life alone :(( | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/26/2010 1:18:52 AM | Cheer up, its not for ever, or eternity, even by modest acounts its 72-86 years depending upon your family history. Go get a digital countdown clock, set it to tick down to zero. Enjoy the silence.
Its all about your Point of View. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/26/2010 7:09:34 AM |
In general, I agree wholeheartedly with this concept. But in practice, I don't think it's quite that simple for everyone. There is a big difference between quality interaction and bare human contact, just as there is a big difference between true friends and friends and co-workers who are really nothing more than acquaintances.
I happen to have really quality interaction with my family, my closest friends, even certain aquaintences. Everyone in someone's life isn't just bare human contact, that's my point. Unless they choose to feel that no one else matters. Truth is others actually can matter.
So, while single doesn't have to mean alone, for some people the reality is that it does.
In their minds, maybe - sure. They can change that, or stick with what they've always been doing. *shrug* | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/26/2010 7:48:40 AM |
I happen to have really quality interaction with my family, my closest friends, even certain aquaintences.
I don't doubt it. In fact, that has long been clear to me from a variety of your posts.
However, I must respectfully disagree that it's always the case that
(e)veryone in someone's life isn't just bare human contact . Yes, I do agree that if someone chooses to feel that no else matters, then they are making a deliberate choice to forgo such alternative meaningful contact. And I most definitely agree that others can matter. In fact, I would go so far as to say they matter more than the person you may be in a relationship with. But I still don't think it is always that easy for everyone.
I tend to meet a lot of people who are relatively new to the area, and one very common complaint I hear from them is how hard it is to make friends and meaningful connections. Now, that isn't to say it's impossible, or that one shouldn't try, or that such a situation might not change, given enough time. But I do believe that certain people like this, who now may live on the other side of the country or world from their family and existing friends, may find that the only practical way to get that meaningful connection is in the context of a relationship or pair-bond situation.
They can change that, or stick with what they've always been doing.
True that - if you don't like your situation and don't at least work to change things, the first person you have to blame is yourself. But trying alone does not guarantee success. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/26/2010 7:54:40 AM | ^^^I believe that trying IS success. The outcome of trying cannot be controlled when it comes to humanity, but as long as you're putting yourself out there, making friends, learning about people you encounter that's what matters. You can't measure success in situations that involve more than one person since everyone is so different.
It's like approaching someone you want to date. Making interest known is the success. What comes of it doesn't matter because you can't control what others do. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/26/2010 12:23:19 PM |
I believe that trying IS success. The outcome of trying cannot be controlled when it comes to humanity, but as long as you're putting yourself out there, making friends, learning about people you encounter that's what matters. You can't measure success in situations that involve more than one person since everyone is so different.
I agree that you can't control the outcome whenever people are involved, and to that degree, at one level, trying, or, as Yoda would say, doing, is all that matters. However, if someone feels a powerful, deep need for meaningful connection and fails to achieve it despite their best efforts, then, at a different level, whether they consider the attempt alone a success is largely irrelevant - they will likely still feel that need as being unsatisfied. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/26/2010 12:28:01 PM | | Much as there are a lot of things I like about this world, I'm embracing the Other Side a lot more-! There's GOT to be more love and abundance of everything there than there is here! This place sucks at times! | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/26/2010 12:29:11 PM |
Not everyone is making connections
AMEN!
being alone, lonely can be the same thing...
and yeah I do feel like I will prob. die alone in my appt. neighbours complaining about the smell.. and there I am..
all dried up in rigor mortis...
some days I think, well maybe I will have someone in my life again, just to be screwed over and lied to untill she has enough again.. | |
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ajfedz
| | Joined: 12/25/2008
Msg: 1221 | |
| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/26/2010 5:34:36 PM |
Alone = isolation, desolation, alienation. Few people are actually somewhere there is no human contact.
Single = uninvolved. Far cry from solitary confinement. Many single people have friends, co-workers, neighbors, community, family and even pets. Therefore single isn't technically alone.
For people who honestly think single means alone, I can see why they're panicking. I would too if I thought an SO/spouse was the only company worth keeping.
Alone also would mean the exclusion of a partner. So the OP is on target utilizing the word alone...
uninvolved = alone without out a mate!!!
"friends, co-workers, neighbors, community, family and even pets" can not fill the void or equal living without a life partner... If they can, why are you on POF? | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/26/2010 6:04:53 PM |
I agree that you can't control the outcome whenever people are involved, and to that degree, at one level, trying, or, as Yoda would say, doing, is all that matters. However, if someone feels a powerful, deep need for meaningful connection and fails to achieve it despite their best efforts, then, at a different level, whether they consider the attempt alone a success is largely irrelevant - they will likely still feel that need as being unsatisfied.
My point is that's all based on mindset. Truthfully it's only a nasty hang if you make it that much of a powerful, deep need. I'd not want to depend on a relationship in order to feel a good human connection, so I'd start/grow many different (local) friendships and connections in order to avoid the "relationship will complete me" pitfall. The problem with that mindset is that unless/until you can hunt down and drag something back to the cave to keep you company, you'll be prone to counting the days and stressing yourself out instead of enjoying life.
Alone also would mean the exclusion of a partner. So the OP is on target utilizing the word alone...
Alone technically means no one's around you. Most of the time people are around you, so it's all about how you choose to see the people who are. There are people in relationships who feel alone and single people who don't. All I am saying is life will suck more if you equate "alone" with "single". However, it's totally your choice to do so, naturally.
uninvolved = alone without out a mate!!!
You can sit at at restaurant alone - it means no one's sitting there with you. A janitor could sit down and join you for a meal and banish the term. It COULD mean single, but that's usually based on the person's perception of the word...I could (and I have) go to the movies alone but not be single, that sort of thing.
"friends, co-workers, neighbors, community, family and even pets" can not fill the void or equal living without a life partner... If they can, why are you on POF?
They can fill the void unless you specifically view it that the lack of an SO means a life of desolation. It's - again - a mindset. A lemon/lemonade sort of thing. However no one's forcing you to see it in a better light, by all means see it as a downside if it works for you. Just realize it's your view and doesn't apply to everyone else.
And why am I on POF specifically? I doubt you're asking me - so I'll list reasons others would be here. Forums, friendship, involved but like the site, married but like the site, single and happy and open to meeting new people, single and happy and open to dating, single and happy and not actively dating, single and getting over a relationship, separated, too busy to date....that should be enough for the time being. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/1/2010 12:34:48 AM |
Cheer up, its not for ever, or eternity, even by modest acounts its 72-86 years depending upon your family history. Go get a digital countdown clock, set it to tick down to zero. Enjoy the silence.
Its all about your Point of View. Plus there's no guarantee you will get that far (accident, cancer, homicide victim etc). | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/1/2010 10:30:39 AM | .. stood up again last saturday!!
yaaaay!!
yeah i seriously feel I will be alone forever.. another 5 years and Im 40...
FML
prob. never will have kids...
or a remotely normal life...
screw this Im done | |
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