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| | Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?Page 50 of 60 (20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60) | I feel this way all the time.
Not such a bad thing though. I'd much rather be alone than to be with someone who can't truly appreciate me, understand me, or meet my needs.
Being alone also means that I get to keep all my money for myself, instead of spending a chunk of it on someone else, I get more time for myself and the things I want to do, and most importantly I get to focus on me and improving myself much more of the time. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/1/2010 11:15:25 AM | Ill tell you the way I see it and the way I'll probably see it in the foreseeable future.
God could have made me to be alone forever, and maybe that's what I was meant to be.
But only when I feel I tried my hardest and did everything I could to find that special one.
The thing working in my favor is that I'm not expecting the 'perfect' person. I'm flexible, even though there are things I can't and will not accept. Like 300 lbs or more. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/9/2010 2:47:34 PM | I do feel like it some times, and it is a horrible feeling for me personally. Some people find consolidation in personal success or glory, but that's not who i am. I find no meaning in career or academic success. I never have, i never will. It's not that i dont have ambition, it's just that my ambition lies elsewhere. I grew up in a very traditional family, and i love my family very much. One of the things i've grown up to want very much is a family of my own. What i strive to be in the future is a good husband and father. Not a fighter pilot or an astronaught or any of those other things.
So i find no comfort in focusing on singular, individual activities. Everything from entertainment to academic activities feel pointless and worthless without someone to share it all with. And personally, i do not want to wait until my best years are over before i start a family.
And i'm not picky. I mean, i have limits, clearly i'll only date a woman i'm attracted to, but i'm not holding out for a super-model. Clearly (in this part of the country) however, women hold much stricter standards(Although i'd like to think i'm atleast decent looking, so maybe i'm just too shy...).
A bigger problem is society has changed, ESPECIALLY on this side of the country (Oregon...i...hate...oregon). There are no family oriented women on this side of the country, hell i'd be lucky to even find someone that shares even a small amount of my values and aspirations. Today, in a great sense of irony, society has become focused on individual success, on "Making a mark on the world". And yet, this is possibly the worst era to have that attitude. This is not 2000 BC where a single person could rise and become emperor, or through a single battle or economic movement change the entire course of human destiny. The world does not work like that anymore. If you have the right connections and genetics you'll be destined for great things, but otherwise, all that we do and say will be swept together with the things that 6 billion others say and do. All we can aspire to do is to spread our legacy through our future children and make the most of the lives we have.
And so i'm stuck where i feel like i'll never meet a woman who shares my beliefs, my values, or who want's to be with me. I feel alone, not just on a small scale but on a larger scale as well - Almost as if i'm a man without a country. As if society has moved beyond the era of family values and into the era of personal glory and conquest. And i find this extremely disheartening and depressing.
I just try to hang on with the hope that there is a girl out there someone waiting for me... I mean, what else can we do? I certainly don't plan to give up. I'm not going out without a fight. These forums certainly dont help though, i find them extremely depressing and even mroe disheartening  lol... sorry for the rant though. I like writing, what can i say... | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/9/2010 4:06:55 PM | | I feel this way only every day of my life. It's tough but somehow I get by, I think what gets me by right now is the fact that I'm a great-aunt to two adorable nieces and I have a 3rd one on the way, I keep reminding myself this and it helps. But like I said when I go out I'm always the only single person, and it just seems like more and more of my friends are getting married, but I guess this is what they mean by life sucks then you die! | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/9/2010 5:08:03 PM |
If you have the right connections and genetics you'll be destined for great things I wish I had connections cause I certainly need them badly.
I guess this is what they mean by life sucks then you die!
Gotta wonder what the point is sometimes. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/10/2010 8:56:40 PM | | do you ever wonder all the time? i've stayed up half night sometimes just wondering if this is how its gonna be for the rest of my life, and somehow it seems like it is because sometimes no matter how hard i try, i can't see my life ever changing for the better. i truly believe that i'll end up like my mother, single til i'm 40 and still living in this middle of nowhere dump... | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/10/2010 11:33:05 PM | | Thats the way I feel and I really don't give a damn any more. Just went shopping for some new toys and have been out enjoying them, may as well have some fun. Women these days are really messed up mentally and every one I date just confirms it so I am probably better off without one. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/12/2010 12:36:22 AM | Really, if I try really hard, I hope that I am always independent, foot loose and off on my own. The call it falling in love because you were looking where you were going. Step with care and caution and you will never fall ;)
Single is not the new miserable existence they want to paint it. enjoy your freedom, there is time enough for shackles later. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/12/2010 2:10:08 AM | | Kristine, please research depression. It could save your life. I owe it to you to request this. You are the sole key to every happiness you could ever want. The first step is this. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/15/2010 12:32:07 PM | I think even the strongest people "feel" this way from time to time..
I've personally been having a lot of ups and downs with dating. I find that I take an interest in someone, maybe too soon, they aren't on the same page as me.. and I watch as they finish the novel and move onto a next one, while I'm still dwelling on the heavier stuff in the original.
It's easy to say "don't let it get to you, someone will come your way" but it's so much harder to take it to heart and really believe it when you've been all over the place, just hoping to find that one decent connection.
For the lack of a better ending to my post... You're not alone. I feel it. Others feel it. You just cannot let it over take who you are. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/15/2010 1:06:03 PM |
I think even the strongest people "feel" this way from time to time..
True, but if you honestly look at your own past it is more likely you have had a few years of being single, then a relationship for x-amount of time, then being single, then yet another relationship and so on. That does not indicate a life of loneliness, just of insecurity and doubt. So it's more accurate to just lament, "Do I have to go through relationship after relationship after relationship before I get it right?" And the answer to that is of course, yes, you do.
And that's OK> | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/15/2010 1:17:03 PM | Sometimes. Most of the time I think it's my past coming back to bite me in the a$$.
Meh. I'm sure the barracuda to my shark is out there somewhere, maybe just not on POF.
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/16/2010 10:13:25 AM | This thread has been going for 5 years... Wow... I wonder if the O/P is still around... Or if she is still single, let's see, she was already 3-years single when she opened this thread and now 5 years later, is she still single?
In the O/P's 12th message, she states "...i want a relationship, but im not out "looking for love"..." How can you want one, but not the other... Hmmm I know a person can have fleas and that's sort of a relationship, isn't it? However loving fleas is neither desireable or wanted... Ok that fits... I'm sure there are other examples out there, like tapeworms...
Really though, whatever you put out in the universe, it will manifest itself. I can't see the O/P's profile, so there's no way of knowing whether she has an intimate relationship with her higher power, with herself or has good profile pictures or even an interesting romantic profile. We just have the footprints of a saddened heart through her forum participation. So based on that, what are the real issues here? Whether or not anyone takes anyone else's advice or not, is not measureable here...
We construct a Heaven or a Hell depending on what we give to our relationships. I strongly believe that we must first have an intimate relationship with our higher power and then with ourselves, we must love who we see in the mirror, everything else is secondary. So, our attitude is everything. So here is what I do after I say a prayer... Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or... You can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or... I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life. Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It’s your choice how you live your life. Then at the end of the day, I reflect back on how many times I've had good thoughts and negative thoughts, which side has more... Our lives begin to pick up as we think more possitively and negative thoughts and/or actions attract negative vibrations and eventually leads to the dark side.
O/P Msg 12 says "...i keep running up against the same brick wall..." A person will continue to repeat old habits or patterns, since there are two benefits of failure, first, if you do fail, you learn what doesn't work, and second, the failure also gives you an opportunity to try a new approach. Sometimes however, we are so afraid to try something new...
Let's say we think we have a good relationship with our faith, yet we have poor self-esteem for whatever reason. We feel as though no matter who we send emails to, we get no responses or no one contacts us, we become bitter, stuck in our pasts, angry, depressed, lathargic, apathy sets in, etc... Whatever the cause is self-inflicted and we need professional help, however we feel strong enough and our ego tells us that we're fine, it's the world out there that has a problem with us... blah, blah, blah... Humilty goes a long ways, we may lack some social skills, we may even need some counselling to define boundaries and expectations, whatever it is, go for professional help. I did... When I'd reached the lowest point in my life, I reached out. I was ready to be moulded again into a better person. I took a year off and focussed on me, what was I doing wrong, why wasn't my approaches the right way, or whatever... Solid relationships take learning new ideas, understanding the differences between men and women. It takes learning which one of the 5 Love Languages (by Dr Gary Chapman) you are and which is your partner. Strong effective communication is paramount in any relationship, by knowing your communication style, you will be able to communicate and be understood... It may also take understanding body language as well, sometimes what we say is not in sync with what our body language is telling others. "The Secret" by Rhonda Bryne allows us to understand the laws of attraction. Ultimately then, the bottom line is that whatever we are lacking relationship wise, there are solutions within us, we need to seek outside help to be able to tap into these answers that we all carry...
If our only intent is to put our hard luck story in this forum, Ok. If we want to move forward and look for success, all we need to do is go to the "Plentyoffish Worldwide" Testimonials and read about those who succeeded, some came into POF and found love within hours, others took longer... We have the capacity to change our destiny...
Hope this helps...
Cheers, 
**~Remington55~** 
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/21/2010 2:19:38 PM | You are just setting yourself up for disappointment.
I am sure you just need to begin meditating on who you are deep down, clearing out the clutter. When your new path emerges, embrace it, whether it involves another person or just sitting alone.
I have spent the majority of my adult life alone and the only time it gets troubling is when I let it, and that is after I mistakenly compare my life to couples and lovers.
It's difficult, as we are bombarded by images that make singles feel diminished, but this has been and always will be so. Just need to filter out. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/21/2010 3:50:02 PM | The feeling of being lonely is the most deadful feeling ever. My children are grown up and I spend so many nights on my own it untrue. Im an attractive women, still look after myself. Yes, Iv'e not got the body of a 20 years old but thats cos im 43. Men seem to want younger women and there is this big void of women my age.
I keep going on this dating site and hoping to meet someone I click with but it just never seems to happen. The only time Ive really ever liked someone he turned out to be a user and just fed me a pack of lies.
Life feels pretty sxxx right now, I can tell ya and yes I am feeling a bit sorry for myself but I just cant help it. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/21/2010 10:20:56 PM | | It is always on mind. After being rejected for dates countless times, being surrounded by couples whenever I do go out, and trying every single dating site there is with no success I do have that fear there is no one out there for me and I will be alone forever. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/22/2010 5:16:26 AM | | Did you ever see the "Secret" . I believe that you attract what you think about. It even says that in the Bible. Start trusting that God has a wonderful person in store for you and when the time is perfect, he will appear.In the meantime have a attitude of gratude, and enjoy every minute of your life | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/22/2010 6:15:03 AM | | yep. i have a hard time dating considering my preferences. i wonder if being single all your life will be good or not. i mean, all four of my celebrity idols are single and they seem perfectly fine with it. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/22/2010 6:28:05 AM | With 50 odd pages and counting. Whoever reading this, including me, should be pleased to know we are all feeling lonely sometimes or many times in our lives.
.I just get this overwhelming sense that I'm going to die alone.
Everyone dies alone, I hope there is not a cult for 'dying partners'.....unless you are in a tsunami or earthquake.
Reming's words of wisdom. I dun believe in fate neither, if you dun want to be alone, then go ACTIVELY looking, I mean for 'friends', it's far easier to look for friends than a relationship. Relationship does comes in between friendships, like fishing, wider net, bigger chance to catch the one...that's why when I'm lonely I like to meet new friends. I believe my Mr Perfect would come unexpected.
Haha now I'm blabbing, I might also say this....nowadays people are so easily giving up the relationship when it's rough, it is a social problem too. hee hee religion can sometimes make people serving a common purpose when the relationship cracks, being more forgiving and loving, it's not a bad idea. So IMO when we feel we lack purpose, we definitely feel more lonely.
I can go on and on..... | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/25/2010 7:16:06 PM | stormy
you actually make sense, especially the following;
Everyone dies alone, I hope there is not a cult for 'dying partners'.....unless you are in a tsunami or earthquake.
I would add that we all really in a way live alone too, [trying to figure it all out, if you know what I mean].
we should be able to enjoy our time alone though, or, how can others enjoy us. | |
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| Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 3/29/2010 8:27:52 AM | I'm pretty sure that, yes, I will be 'alone' forever. And I'm thinking more and more that this is the best thing for me.
I never used to care about being in a relationship... take it or leave it, kinda thing. The only thing that makes me feel very alone right now is that I attempted a connection with someone recently, it all went pear-shaped on me and I'm suffering through feelings that arise from being harshly rejected and a sense of my own personal failure in handling things badly.
It makes me consider that putting my heart out there was a mistake in the first place and I am better off alone. Or else, if I ever take a chance again I'd better choose more carefully. I am spectacularly bad at the choosing bit.
Being alone is best, and a sensible protective measure, for those who only date unsuitable mates. At least until they get better at spotting and avoiding them. | |
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