| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/13/2007 3:17:24 AM | | Since you said he left you a message, he probably figures that if you're interested you'll call him back, and if you're not you won't. So if you're interested then call him back, don't assume he'll try again. | |
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| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/13/2007 9:22:47 AM | Thanks again for all the wonderful responses. I like the insight on shy guys!!
Msg. 19- I don't "like him" because he's ignoring me. I'm not even sure if I like him at all but I am open to new friends and dating. I was just curious why someone would ask all about me and get my number (from someone else- kinda grade school but whatever) and then not show any interest to my face.
Msg. 21 Where are all the men?? LOL. I don't think he's a loser. But ya never know! Perhaps I will find out =)
M stopped into work yesterday and was asking the girls where he should take me on the first date. Somewhere really really nice. I thought that was funny. The girls said he doesn't seem like he has much dating experience. Now that I think about it I don't even know how old he is!!! LOL | |
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| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/13/2007 9:48:30 AM | he's scared! and as said very shy!
i am the same! i cant make the first move on anyone now due to the past
maybe he has had a big set back with someone which has lost him all of his confidence
it happens trust me!!!!
talk to him, you be the first to talk that will work. once the ice is broken to should all be plain sailing | |
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| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/13/2007 10:40:10 AM | I mentioned my Brother in Law is very shy. I should have told you how he and my extremly shy Sister managed to ever end up a married couple. I'll make the story as short as I can.
First off, Neither of them asked the other out. They are both a lot alike. They both had the same friends, their friends pushed them together. They would make sure my sister and he was on same bowling team. When they went to Six Flags everyone paired off and made sure he and she were put together.
After about 4 of 5 dates like this, they both ended up going out together.
I don't think a marriage proposal was ever made between them, I don't have full story, but from what I heard, they both had went in together to purchase a house. But for 5 months no one lived in the house. Sister decided she was going to move into it, Brother In Law made it clear she wasn't going to do that alone. Sister made it clear she wasn't living with no one she wasn't married to. Brother in Law took her to Justice of Peace and got married instantly.
Its been 25 years and still going. Both are extremely happy.
Sometimes it takes a third party to put shy people together. | |
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htarw
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Joined: 4/2/2007
Msg: 31 | |
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/13/2007 11:05:29 AM | Ok, he got your number and he is too shy to call?! Seriously, why would you want someone like that? There is shyness, and then there is plain old stupidity!
The ball is in his court....he has your number....he didn't call....his problem, not yours. He's not in 3rd grade, he can easily call you, shyness is not a good excuse for that. | |
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| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/14/2007 5:54:49 PM | I bet Htarw hasn't got a shy body in his bone either. His post itself stresses self assurance and the such.
This also means Htarw hasn't got a clue what is is like to be shy so his ability to fairly and impartially talk on the subject just flew out the window. | |
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| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/15/2007 8:04:53 AM | aww thanks gotphish
I hate to drag this post back up but here's the situation.
He DID call. He didn't leave his number but of course I saw it on caller ID. He didn't ask me to call him back or anything. I thought about it, but I just didn't. Guess that means I'm not that into it?
Anyway, he mentioned to D that I didn't call him back!! WTF. The next day D says that M is going to call. And he hasn't. (BTW D is married and has children so don't think he is competition or anything.)
I think I am going to call this a$$ tonight and see what the deal is. Ya think? | |
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| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/15/2007 10:52:24 AM | | 'Shy' is incredibly sexy... but I am adverse to him backpeddling and almost doing rolly-polys, knocking over pedestrians like skittles to get out of the way of saying 'hello', to me... when actually, I just wanted to tell him his flies were undone! | |
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| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/15/2007 11:14:53 AM | | If he is really that shy and you are really that aggressive, he just may not like aggressive women. I tend to the shy side of life and I am turned off by over aggressive women. I like women that are about like me when it comes to assertiveness. | |
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| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/15/2007 1:34:58 PM | If you want to read a good article on what might be going on inside the head of a shy guy go read this:
http://www.succeedsocially.com/shyguys | |
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| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/15/2007 2:20:12 PM | The possibility also exists that this M is looking for some kind of affirmation that you are interested as well. If he is indeed as shy as the circumstances seem to indicate then there is little doubt he doesn't want to step too far out onto the ledge OP. If it bothers you that he didnt leave a message then there probably is interest on your part. Give him the call and go from there. He did call, not leaving a message doesnt warrant lack of interest, people at the best of times don't know what to say to an answering machine :-) | |
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| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/15/2007 2:23:34 PM | | The guy is probably very introverted and shy. Really outgoing extroverts have a hard time understanding people like this. There might be a lot going on in his head, good luck. | |
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| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/15/2007 3:40:04 PM | I used to be extremely shy and asking a woman out on a date was just a dreadful thought because of several prior failed attempts. It was always very hard to make that initial phone call.
Anyway I got the courage to ask a woman out I'd known for a few weeks. She said yes and this was my first real successful attempt at going 'out' with a woman. I was very nervous on that first date and the ones that followed were very platonic because I was totally clueless on dating behavior. I was afraid to make a move and didn't know my green lights from the red ones. We did the normal things like dinners, movies and she even came to my house a couple of times and brought a movie (I stil didn't get it). A quick kiss goodnight is as far as I went.
Well one night at my house we were on the couch talking and she leaned over and planted one on my lips and wasn't shy about using her tongue either! The first time I made out with a woman....it was f'n awesome  !! From that point on my confidence soared. This was years ago and she's now married but we still keep in touch. She and her husband even tried setting me up with a friend of theirs.....to no avail.
My point is that this guy might need a little boost in confidence. And it probably won't take much. If you do go out my advice would be don't push him....and for his sake please be patient. And if you have a good time, call him up the next day and tell him. That will make him feel grrrrrrrrrreat! | |
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| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/15/2007 3:46:22 PM |
Let him know your Human, Fallible, Imperfect ... and for God sake, get him away from D cause M will never make a move if he thinks D is gonna rib him about it later.
Next time M is at your place of business (preferably without D) ask M if he can help you take some empty boxes out to your Car ... or maybe you need a hand reaching something on a shelf in the store room.
Dress down, not a lot of makeup and go easy on the perfume ... dog yourself out a little (if you get my meaning) so you don't scare the livin sh!t outta him.
Once you break through that barrier and he relaxes a bit ... you might be surprised how genuinely nice and funny he can be.
I think these are very good suggestions. | |
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| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/16/2007 11:06:47 PM | He's been admiring you from afar, and finally his buddy put him up to the task. The guy freezes up because he feels your way out of his league.....probably can't believe he's even talk ing to this goddess that he's been admiring.
I'm a fairly outgoing guy, but I have been guilty of that myself. But there comes a point, almost immediately after the ice has been broken, that he must snap out of it and interact with you like a real person. He'd better do someothing quick, or you'll end up thinking he's a total lame-o, and he'll end up beating his head against the wall for blowing his only shot with his dreamgirl.
Hopefully it turns out for the bettter  | |
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| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/18/2007 1:19:55 PM | *update*
i saw him at work today and he asked me out!
he seems very very nice, so i am excited to get to know him =)
thanks for all the support and great advice! | |
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| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/18/2007 9:33:59 PM | Congratulations Metalgrrl and lots of luck to you.
I saw where he called you and got a tad worried. I did that two weeks ago. Some woman gave me her number so I called and left a message. Then called a second time. Didn't get her again. So I gave up calling. Don't want to continue calling and appear despret or needy. Nor do I want to bother her if she ... well.
I did send her an Email asking when would be proper time to call. No response yet. ::shrugs:: I won't call back without her telling me when to call, Calling isn't something I am good with.
So I got to worried your friend wouldn't ask you out after missing you on the phone. Glad he did, hopes everything works out. | |
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| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:49:42 PM | I think So
I have wanted to ask this girl out for a month.
I have her number I don't call.
Just not positive , don't want to risk rejection.
I see here all the time.
and I know she likes me.
Good luck | |
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