| I need some advice...
Posted: 4/14/2007 12:47:07 AM | | Id go ahead and tell her ,I know if I was in a relationship and possibly planing on moving in with someone and he was on a site say like AFF or the likes looking for sex, I know Id want to know....and hey what are friends for ,if not then to look out for us ...instead of looking the other way.....inless their both into intimate encounters with others ,I dont understand why he'd have his picture up on there with the risk of his SO finding out though.So you never know their maybe more to the story then your aware of also. | |
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| I need some advice...
Posted: 4/14/2007 12:54:36 AM | | just tell her/email her the link...what she does with it from there is up to her... if the situation were reversed, and hypothetically she found a profile for your boyfriend, do you think she should tell you? do for her what you would want her to do for you... | |
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| I need some advice...
Posted: 4/14/2007 1:22:43 AM | OK... let me make a real suggestion here about this guy : What if he joined a long time ago and just never bothered to cancel the bill... lol... I did that with a prepaid lawyer deal and credit card protection deal that I never got any use of and paid for it for 4yrs and then would on occassion get an email from them and go to their site and then screw around click a bunch of crap and say to myself I got to cancel this sh*t and then I would leave the site with every intention of doing that first thing in the morning and then something would come up and then I would say the exact same thing for tomorrow for a week then I would forget for a month then the next thing would come in a few months and it would start all over again.... lol... sounds bad but oh so true.... Give the guy the benifit of the doubt that he's not doing anything other than on occassion laughing at the freaks and sending links to his other chat friends (I have done this before also!)
My first thought is lay off the guy about the fact that he's seperated and put divorced... If he's been seperated for that long (4yrs at least cause that's how long he's been with your friend) then it really don't matter much, unless he wants to get remarried so why get all up tight about that? What you should be all uptight that it doesn't say "in a relationship" espcially since he's been with your friend for 4yrs...
So before doing anything else, see if you can find out when he last updated the profile that can say alot... Not updated in 5 yrs means he hasn't updated since him and your friend have been together! or if not in a couple of years then thats still a good thing - But if you look and find that he's on again try to mess with him by sending him an email under a fake ID... if he turns out to be a nasty closet skeeze - instead of just dumping it on your friend... have her come over and ya'll hit a few of the strange profiles here... THEN tell her hey I know this other site I have done this on before too.... THEN take her to there and you know what search stuff to put in to get his profile to show up all nice and shiney so you have her type in the surf so she can read them to you while you are doing something like fixing some food and she will get his profile and - DONE - she see's it and you REALLY didn't tell her - So then you can be the friend for her to lean on and figure out a way to find out if he's REALLY on there looking for a new or strange hook up or not.... and she won't be upset that you were the one that brought her in to the light...
I hope this helps because he really could just bee too busy to get to it or he could be a closet skeeze... But what you don't want is to hurt your girl friend in the process of putting some lighting on what appears to be a very dark side of that situation.... | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 54 | |
| I need some advice...
Posted: 4/14/2007 5:01:07 AM | If it were me, I would want my friend to tell me. It will hurt like hell, but no matter what happens, she will hurt.
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| I need some advice...
Posted: 4/14/2007 1:50:40 PM | LOL....I have to laugh when people give advice and they DON'T READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what is exactly written. But thanks anyway...lol.
Well...my other best friend and I are gonna tell her tomorrow afternoon. We are just gonna sit her down in front of my computer..say some anonymous someone advised me online thru a text message that one of my guy friends in the band is on a pay site for hooking up (His band's pictures are promoted all over my website, even the same pics he used) and that I went and looked and sure enough.....etc. Then..she can do what she wants to about it. We are gonna present it calmly...and rationally. It may be his exwife who even did this to him because the more I think about it..I honestly don't think he'd do something like this. But you never know. I can tell you with all certainty she doesn't know anything about it.
Oh..and it shows he's a paying member, that he was on last 1/20/2007..and two days ago..there wasn't any "friends" listed..and now all of a sudden today..there's a blond from south florida listed in his network. Look..I'm gonna go into this giving him the benefit of the doubt because he really is a good friend of mine...and I honestly don't think he would do this. His ex wife is EVIL....and she hates my friend (even though she left him long before her..go figure) so I wouldn't put it past her. I have friends who have had crap like this done to them online before. I just want her to be aware of this in case he isn't on the up and up. And in response to someone before..yes I would want her to tell me if it was my guy. And no..I can't send her a link..she doesn't have a computer. She only got a cell phone two years ago for petes sake.
Thanks everyone. Wish me luck. | |
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| I need some advice...
Posted: 4/14/2007 3:40:10 PM | | Hi there, I read this one a couple of times...You are right...alot of people dont seem to have read what you wrote...In my opinion, and for the sake of my friend (You are being a true one for being concerned !!!) I would first approach the guy...I would get proof that you have the proper info for your girlfriend incase he does a quick delete...I would go to him and ask him point blank ...WHAT YOU SAW, WHAT HE THINKS...Maybe it is his ex being a s*** disturber...Pose it that way...Let him explain it to you before you go and destroy your friend...Imagine, how SHE will feel...Maybe he is being an absolute a** or the ex thing...Id say give him a chance first before assuming the worst...I hope it is the ex cause anyone who has a friend like you deserves to be treated properly and IF this guy is on this site ...He is a big LOSER, and doesnt deserve your friend or you in his life...Let your intellect guide you, not your emotion ...All the best !!! | |
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