| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/20/2007 2:34:00 AM | I've gotten quite a few revengeful messages from guys
because I didn't reply back or if I did I blocked them for
one reason or another or they emailed me for the first time
to insult me on why I am single (funny cause they're single too...lol)
etc....I get the lovely abuse about my looks...
I'm so over attracting the jerks on POF...It's gotten to the point where
I'm actually expecting each mail to be laced with some form
of insulting words...snore bore...  | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/20/2007 6:10:15 AM |
I have a theory that the men here won't contact a woman who is 50 or over....at least not to "date". [/quote}
Mmmm... I've contacted approximately 25 women, one or two were 49, the rest were over 50. | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/20/2007 8:04:14 AM | There's one reason to reply to any message, even if you don't initially have a good impression of the sender: You never know what the second message may bring. It could be a positive thing.
Most of us are nervous about making the initial contact because we fear rejection (even as much as some of us are used to it). So the first messages are awkward in that we're trying to guess what will appeal to the person we're writing. Those usually don't reflect who we are in total. A polite response may be a way of starting an exchange wherein each person can reveal a little more about himself or herself. In other words, you say "No, thanks," the person says "Thanks," and perhaps adds something else - and then you can see that the person is not a jerk or a creep (like the ones who respond by telling you to f--- off).
The only people I don't respond to are the ones I suspect of pulling scams. | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/20/2007 9:11:45 AM |
Msg: 15 -- I have so many men viewing me, but never contact.
Well, I just looked at your profile. The FIRST thing I look for is LOCATION. I see no point in contacting someone unless I see a future, and I don't do long distance, as I clearly state in MY profile. When I contact someone, I want to see her NOW. I hope that explains why I viewed but never attempted contact. | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/20/2007 10:33:30 AM | Most of us are nervous about making the initial contact because we fear rejection (even as much as some of us are used to it).
If you contact someone and they don't respond or they respond negatively it means very little . You have only a profile and a picture ..it is "virtual"...it is not personal . There are many reasons people don't respond positively to a first contact that should not be taken personally , a first message is very impersonal .
The only real rejection possible is if you meet in person and you really like the other and they don't like you back.....even then it's not the end of the world..they'll be a good match one of those times. | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/20/2007 5:03:00 PM | I love this topic. In fact, people like that made me re-write my profile, offering to help some of these guys with their profiles so some woman somewhere will give them the time of day. The odd thing is, the guys who don't need help are the ones who ask for it, and the toofless idiots are the ones that send me msgs that say "omg dang gurl u r so prety do u want to talk thanks jon"
Forgive me for being cold, but I just don't see the need to reply to someone who put NO thought into the initial contact other than "Gee I'd like to tap THAT" | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/20/2007 6:38:36 PM | Hey oldschoolqueen ... you forgot to add "delete/block" after your response if not you'll get another gem of a response back .... lol I always send back a polite response to a "more than one line" nice message if I'm not interested, however, what is with one liners like, " hey baby nice curves", " I think we could have fun together", "hello nice profile", worse is ALL the profiles and messages with spelling mistakes ? Funny that in my profile, I mention that "good conversation is a must", looking for "someone who can keep up with me intellectually" and that I'm a" business professional" ???? Oh I get it they CANT read .....  | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/20/2007 8:44:40 PM | @ who the fox
This theory of yours...is it based on in depth interviews with hundreds(?), thousands(?) of women over the age of fifty ... or is it a theory based on the fact that you haven't been asked out on a date and you are over 50? And should it pass that I do ask you out on a date, would we follow PoF protocol and meet half way? Say out in the middle of the bald a$$ prairie like Weyburn, Saskatchewan? Now, perhaps what you theorize is applicable to PoFers from your home town, but please don't generalize ALL men into that category. | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/20/2007 9:12:16 PM | It is based on talking to the women I know who are over 50 as well my own experience, so likely hundreds. If I lie about my age, I get a ton of emails etc. Tell the truth and I get nothing.....not from locals or from men farther afield.
Obviously, I have far more experience with local men than with men from other areas...but let's face it, the men 100s of miles away really don't matter to me, do they? So let's just say that my theory applies only to the 4 or 5 million men who are in my local dating area.
(You'll also notice the woman I was responding to lives in my local area) | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/20/2007 9:59:19 PM | | Ladies! Pretend that I wrote to you asking you to view my profile. Then write to me as to what you would tell me if I asked if you were interested in it. After you send your rejection, I'll respond and you tell me how I did! It'll be like "American Idol"!! | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/20/2007 10:26:04 PM | Ladies! Pretend that I wrote to you asking you to view my profile. Then write to me as to what you would tell me if I asked if you were interested in it. After you send your rejection, I'll respond and you tell me how I did! It'll be like "American Idol"!!
LOL Feetonly | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/21/2007 1:10:40 AM | When I get emails that have no thought or few words expressed, I don't reply since they couldn't make effort to write a bit more about themselves.
When I read " like your profile, like to know you, hope to hear back." this isn't something that won't grab my attention. I now want more depth, I decided to put restrictions on my email to find out more about you, and when you have little details on your profile, it doesn't help to want to answer you back.
If you're not getting replies, check your profile, write something creative or something interesting and most people will make the effort to write you back. | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/21/2007 1:27:07 AM | If you aren't attracted to the person & their email and don't wish to chat with them -- DON'T EMAIL THEM BACK.
That makes soo much sense!
I think it's actually impolite to demand responses from a stranger who obviously isn't into you, don't you think?
Agreed. When I read in someone's profile that has messaged me something like, "And if I write to you have the decency to respond." I'm not responding.
Is there something wrong with my profile, my pictures? They all seem fair. I have so many men viewing me, but never contact.
What gives??
I have a theory that the men here won't contact a woman who is 50 or over....at least not to "date".
By here I think you mean PoF; I've had numerous "dates" since coming on PoF. Get offers for dating regularly; and they've read my profile as they'll suggest doing things I have listed as my interests. PoF has been great for me; I've met men here I could never have met by any other means. As you can see I'm over 50. You'd be surprised as to the average age of the men I've dated. They're for the most part accomplished, well-mannered and attractive. | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/21/2007 2:09:29 AM | Damn Im depressed now because I got reminded of an email I got several years back.
I opened my email one night and I had this long beautiful letter in it from a very beautiful woman. She said she thought I was really attractive and I seem to have a great personality from reading my profile. That going on a date with me would be be terrific and she couldnt wait to hear back.
I was really stoked by all this. Wrote her an almost two page email telling her I apriciated her wonderful letter and I so look forward to spending time to get to know her and couldnt wait to hear back from her.
Then I got a reply. She sent back an apology to me stating "Oh Im VERY sorry I meant to send that first email to another guy and I accidently clicked on your email by mistake. Im so sorry for the confusion" | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/21/2007 6:39:03 AM |
By here I think you mean PoF;
I clarified that in a subsequent post to "local men on POF"
I've had numerous "dates" since coming on PoF. Get offers for dating regularly;
I am so happy for you. Californian men must have very different attitudes than the ones up here | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/21/2007 1:12:01 PM | Fox.... I hear you about the men up here with "attitudes"....
I turned 50 this past year......
Any emails that I have received lately are from MUCH younger men wanting to experience the "pleasures of an older woman", or men (and I use that term loosely)who's opening line is: "nice legs, wanna Fu~ck?"
I am usually polite in any reply back but the last one got a "read deleted"
It seems the men in my age bracket with beer bellys haven't really looked in the mirror recently and still think they are 35, or at the very least think that they can snare one.
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/21/2007 2:24:55 PM |
Hey oldschoolqueen ... you forgot to add "delete/block" after your response if not you'll get another gem of a response back ....
Personally, I have a lot of fun with the nasty responses I get, it's too easy to rile up people that get upset about something as trivial as online dating response from a total stranger - I only block after I sum them up as complete non dating material for the sour grapes and bad attitude. Once I've responded to the response, then I might block so that I might leave room for the next bitter author to get his e-mail in.
I apologize for assuming other women find this amusing as well, lol; so yes read/unread - delete and for those who don't like the backlash, block block block!  | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/21/2007 6:09:43 PM | Hey I have another idiot who sent me a message that just said 'sup' and here is my response and then his very immature response. Now mind you this person is 29 and obviously has quite a bit of growing up to do.
HIm : Sup
me: Hello
Him: oh nevermind...
Me: Nevermind what? you just said 'sup'lol I mean usually most people will say 'hello how are you this evening'?
Him: Well i'm too cool too have to type any sentences in my opening line... "Sup" should be enough..
Don't ya just love the wonderful world on online dating?
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/21/2007 6:17:14 PM |
Him: Well i'm too cool too have to type any sentences in my opening line
He's apparently also too cool to know the second "too" should have been a "to"..... and that "i'm" should have been "I'm".
Likely he's just sitting around waiting for that letter of acceptance from Harvard Law School to arrive.... | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/21/2007 6:21:00 PM | Pamela1...that was priceless! What a gem! You should keep that one for the archives!
I have heard so many stories about some of the messages women get on here. It is so hard to believe the actions of a few people.[men or boys] I don't blame some of you for being shy in answering or replying to messages. The only suggestion I have, is to take it wirh a grain of salt. Most of the people I have met here on this site, are wonderful. There are, however, a few that spoil the experience at first. If you learn to ignore that stuff, it gets much better. | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/21/2007 6:30:38 PM | | Just today I got an email accusing me of being a murderer and a "faggot lover" because on my profile I state I believe in gay marriages and abortion. Funny thing is the guys screen name refered to him being a hunter but I am a wildlife rehabilitator. Of course I will always choose to take the high road and explain America give us the freedom of choice. | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/21/2007 6:36:05 PM | OP
Sorry that has happened to you, but I don't think it's still an excuse not to respond in my personal opinion.
Also don't speak for all women also. Some have different reasons for it. | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/22/2007 1:10:47 AM | Forgive the off topic please.
I am so happy for you. Californian men must have very different attitudes than the ones up here
Apparently California men have a different attitude than most of the ones in your area. Am pleased to know you're happy for me; thanks. However, I'm not limited to California, last man I met was more than 2,000 miles away; he came here. Just wanted to say that IMO there are men that want to date women over 50........and they're not just in my immediate area.
So to the lady that said she wasn't having much luck here, I say, "hang in here". Your luck can change in just a moment.
Back on topic.
I've never received a message as rude as the one you've referred to. When I have received one that's rude, I reply then block. If a first email is rude you realize a person has to be a loser as they're using their time to try to make someone feel badly.
I reply to almost everyone that politely contacts me; I usually find a way to attempt to convey, "we're not a match" with other not quite so dirct words.
And like someone else said, I too, when I get a chance to really let someone have it, yeah, that's not a bad thing......part of the fun on here and make someone think twice before being mean. Last guy that wrote something stupid to me promptly deleted his profile after my reply. | |
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| The reason women are hesitant to respond!
Posted: 4/22/2007 2:15:01 AM | | How about the ones that copy and paste you something..and it sounds like they might have actually typed that crap out just for u...and then a week or two later, they send it to you again because you have a diff photo. And it is like they don't know they already sent you the lovely thing. I got another of those today. Betcha he will send it again when I change my pic next week. | |
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