| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 5/23/2009 12:27:32 PM | I studied it in psychology that we are often predispositioned to be attracted to someone who is as far away from us in the "gene pool" as possible, therefore ruling out the possibility of inbreeding. lol i know that sounds silly but perhaps that could be applied to those who may prefer someone of a different racial background. But likewise there is another theory which suggests that people are attracted to those who are similar to themselves in terms of appearance as it is familiar and something familiar is seen to be less threatening!! But i supose this doesnt really say much about people tendancies, but more about the manipulative nature of psychological theories! lol.
Personally i have explored interracial dating thing and i found it to be very erotic, two bodies of different colour rolling around in bed together. Its very sexy seeing the contrast in colour between me and the other person. Although when the novely wares off its just the same as sex with anybody... but i duno, i dont think people should be so narrow minded, there are tonnes of hot people from every race, why limit your options by just choosing one! its beyond me! | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 5/23/2009 1:12:10 PM | | I find white and Latin women more physically appealing. Plus do to my upbringing I share more interests with non-black cultures. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 5/23/2009 4:02:59 PM | OP...can I follow up with this question:
What is the real issue with whom anyone loves?
I would love a black woman, a white woman, a green woman (think Star Trek..lol), ANY woman beyond her skin. Because her pigment isn't what determines her personality, as it doesn't determine mine.
I can be loved by anyone who has love to offer, and vice versa. I can be given companionship, respect, criticism and care by anyone. I can care for any child or children.
So, why do I need to be judged by my skin, as opposed to being measured by my desire?
My $.02 (US)
Danz | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 5/23/2009 8:40:11 PM | | I've always been attracted to women of all color-ever since i was really young. If i saw a beautiful white woman-im my eyes she was just as beautiful as the the pretty blk ones. I caught alot of hell though-for dating and forming intimate relationships with white women while i was young. People are just to damn judgemental-and never considered that i liked the person for whom they were not what they looked like. As long as ya care about urself-dont have to many issues with men-and can stand by me like a real woman should-in my eyes its all gd | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 5/25/2009 2:48:51 AM |
I studied it in psychology that we are often predispositioned to be attracted to someone who is as far away from us in the "gene pool" as possible, therefore ruling out the possibility of inbreeding. lol i know that sounds silly but perhaps that could be applied to those who may prefer someone of a different racial background. But likewise there is another theory which suggests that people are attracted to those who are similar to themselves in terms of appearance as it is familiar and something familiar is seen to be less threatening!
Both theories make perfect sense, actually: socially conditioned fear (which is the basis of any comfort- and security-seeking action) covers up our true, instinctual nature.
People who are more fear-driven are much more likely to be more traditional, conservative, tribal, clannish, and racist.
Fear causes us to close up at every level.
Lack of fear = natural state of openness. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 5/25/2009 11:42:41 AM | Some people think it is raciest to not want to date out of your own race, me personally, I think it is quite alright if you rather just date your own race. But I do not look down apon anyone dating in interracial realationships. I have quite a few friends that do that. There is nothing wrong with any of it. It is to each's own prefference.
Christina | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 5/25/2009 4:47:32 PM | "So, why is it ok for someone to say they prefer tall/short or blonde/brunette or slim/large or anything else along those lines, but not to say you prefer black men/asian men, etc.?"
there is a difference between having a "prefererence" and refusing to date someone because of a small insignificant reason. How many people have you heard say they would never date a tall/short/blonde/brunette? | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 5/25/2009 6:55:32 PM | | I feel that there is something beautiful about woman of all races with the way they was brought up to the way that they carry themselves is what really turns me on not the color of there skin. I never would date a white girl because i didnt want to disapoint my parents because they dont believe in that, but the older I get I see that regardless of how they feel about them isnt important to me anymore but more of how i feel about someone and lately I have been looking at white girls more because there different and i like different the same with hispanic, black, asian, mixed, etc there all appeling in there own way. Color should never be a factor when it comes to dating someone but more about when you look at them what do you see and how does it make you feel on the inside knowing that you can look at this person and see them and not color. I love all women because thats my mentality. but mostly woman are just beautiful and the best creation ever. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 5/25/2009 7:14:06 PM |
I never would date a white girl because i didnt want to disapoint my parents because they dont believe in that, but the older I get I see that regardless of how they feel about them isnt important to me anymore but more of how i feel about someone and lately I have been looking at white girls more because there different and i like different the same with hispanic, black, asian, mixed, etc there all appeling in there own way
It's funny because when I was younger that effected my choices to some extent as well. My parents were ok with friends of all different races but dating was a little more difficult. As I became a little more of an adult it becomes not such an issue. I think Dad would prefer me to find a nice white boy to settle down with but he has come to grips with the fact that I make pretty good choices in the world and they trust me. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 5/25/2009 9:52:55 PM | | My mom would does want me dating white women. Hell she brought it up today. Of course I'm grown so I do as I please, but family can be a b1tch in those situations. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 5/25/2009 10:23:42 PM | My mom would does want me dating white women. Hell she brought it up today
LOL im sorry but that was just funny as hell but i feel where u coming from. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 5/26/2009 4:04:32 AM | | Malestrome, my parents would have been disowned by their parents for dating anyone outside their little white world. My parents would be uncomfortable with me doing it. I wouldn't look twice if my niece or nephew (since i don't have chidlren) did so. I guess I am hoping that means that attitudes are changing. I think they are but I am niave on occasion. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 5/27/2009 2:40:35 PM | Heard a guy talking about this on npr today. Was discussing the issues in regards to Jefferson, and sexual more's in the south in the antebellum period. Really interesting stuff, and one thing he mentioned which i suppose should have been thought of before is that it's much more common on the coats than it is in the middle of the country where in some places it's still rather taboo to date outside the supposed race.
I grew up in the bay area and it was quite normal. The standard was certainly date within your own ethnicity, but it was a 99-1 ratio in terms of whom didn't follow that trend. I'd say at least a third and maybe more of the people I grew up with had dated outside their own ethnicity/race by the time they were in college as a sophmore or junior or whatever. In the bay area, the ethnic make up includes substantial populations of latino's, asians, east indian's, south pacific islanders and african americans, and as a result, there is a big jambalaya of dating going on inbetween the ethnicities and "races". There are certainly groups which are exceedingly exclusive and frown upon outside dating but they are usually subgroups within a larger ethnic group (and usually 1st generation).
I think when I was younger, I simply preferred to date anyone who was different than me, as smart or smarter, and was interesting and attractive to me, someone who I could learn from and grow with, and since I already was quite familiar with my own culture, I tended to be fascinated with others which is probably why I had serious relationships with and/or dated women from any ethnic group around. I got to know amazing people, grow a great deal, and learn a lot from it. As an adult I've continued along a similar path but have also dated within my own ethnicity as well. I don't see any other way to really live at least these days. Getting to know people from any and all cultures when they are genuine and special people simply enriches your life. Why would anyone ever pass on the opportunity? | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 6/8/2009 6:02:45 AM | "why someone would only have a preference of other races besides their own?"
because they hate themselves.
im with you, if you find someone you like of a differeent race then that's one thing.
but to only date certain races other than your own must mean that you were abused, you had bad family life, there is something you want to change about yourself, you are a pervert, etc.
on the other end, i see nothing wrong with only wanting to date your own race. to me this means that you love who you are and where you came from. nothing wrong with that...doesn't make you a "racist" by any means. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 6/9/2009 3:40:22 AM |
on the other end, i see nothing wrong with only wanting to date your own race. to me this means that you love who you are and where you came from. nothing wrong with that...doesn't make you a "racist" by any means.
There's nothing WRONG with it, in the sense that it's not anything HEINOUS, like being a pedophile or ax-murderer, lol. And I would also concur that "racist" is much too strong a word to describe someone like that.
I do think it's kind of PITIFUL though insofar as the extremely narrow and limiting perspective it's based on...such a microscopic identity and delusion of who "you" are.
To borrow a metaphor from Thoreau: it's like being on an ocean cruise and never leaving your little cabin the whole time. Sadly, that's EXACTLY how most people spend their lives, not just in their dating habits. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 6/9/2009 5:47:02 AM | Ok I really hesitated to post on this particular subject because I have alot of input on it and the topic of "Interational Dating" often opens up other areas but I am going to try to keep it as simple as possible.
I am "mixed" and being a mixture of races has afforded me the opportunity to experience multiple qualities, views and opinions of more than one race. It also has allowed me to experience the ignorance withing my races and many others. I am glad that my parents found the COURAGE to go against the "norm" and decided they were going to just go with their heart instead of what was expected of them!
First I think its important to know that racism is a "learned behavior"! Its not in the blood, its not in the genes ect, ect. We are a nation of multiple races that are FORCED to interact with one another at some level...work, school, supermarket, whatever. Although racism still and always will exist, it has taken on a different and more cunning form. There are people that may be racist and not even know it because of their forced interaction with other races. Despite their learned behavior, they would like to believe that they are not racist because they work with "so & so" that is a particular color, or even dated "so & so" who was outside of their race and usually state those things as a justification.
Now on the topic of "interacial dating" (which I believe to be a term that should no longer exist to the amount of dating, family and marriages of mixed race these days)
is perfectly fine and normal. We all have particular tastes! There is also nothing wrong with dating only within your particular race but I do believe that there are reasons to why someone would only limit themselves to a particular race or culture, which happens to be their own, and not finding the courage to learn about other people's races and cultures. If you believe that other races are a turn off and are somehow beneath you, then that means that you believe your race is superior and that makes you a racist!
I find women to be beautiful in general and choose not to limit myself to a particular flavor!
And for those making comments on how your parents/family wouldn't approve of you dating outside of your race, that is a nothing but fear and a lack of balls due to your "learned behavior"!!! | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 6/9/2009 6:05:50 AM | Skin color shouldn't matter.
I'm always amused that when you ask people that say they won't date outside of their "race" what they would do if they dated a person of another "race" that has none of mannerisms nor appearance attributed to that race.
Invariably, even though swear up and down that they are "not racist" or "not prejudiced" statements that belie those words always come out of their mouths.
New Flash: You can't have real "friends" from another ethnic or "racial" if for whatever reason you decide not to date them.
And yes...you are a racist at that point.
Deal with it. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 6/9/2009 6:05:56 AM | though it may be in a financial, economic decline, this is still America.
you can still legally like or DISLIKE anyone or any race you choose.
there are names for liking other races and names for DISLIKING other races.
i don't have have a problem with that. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 6/9/2009 6:13:37 AM | Is this even for real?
People are allowed to be attracted to whoever they are. Some people only find certain looks or whatever attractive enough to date them. People shouldn't be judged by who they choose to date.
I've dated men of different races in my life, but I've known women who would only date guys of their race. Does that make them racist? Hell no. In fact, many have friends of other races. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 6/9/2009 12:50:40 PM | | Different races, have different phycial attributes and some of those are less or more attractive to certain individuals. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 6/9/2009 1:45:33 PM | I have no problem with interracial dating except that I am not attracted to black women. I have really never felt an attraction to a black woman and the times that I have had contact with them, the cultural differences are huge. They always seem so angry and always pissed off about everything. Most black women are so big and fat and angry that I find it hard to imagine that anyone would be attracted to them.
It is hard to imagine that I feel less cultural differences between a latin or Asian woman who was not even raised in this country than a black woman who was raised here. I don't understand ebonics either so I also have a bigger communication problem with black women that I do someone who has only spoken english a short time. | |
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