| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 4/28/2007 8:05:23 AM |
well i'm probally the only one here that doesn't date other colors, i'm not a racist person. i just don't have an attraction to diffrent colors of people, i'm pro white and my children are white, there is not on person of color in my family, my family doesn't believe in mixing race. i treat every one equal, it's a prefrence
Chance darlin, not dating outside of your race does not make you a racist. You continue to be 'pro white' I'll continue to be 'pro human'. As long as we both treat one another with respect, it's all good.
Well said RaeRae 
I'll never forget, my mother would never have called herself a racist because she "had black friends" but in 6th grade I spent all year gushing over this 8th grader that ALL the girls had crushes on. I came home with my yearbook and said "mom, I have to show you xxx!" I opened up the page, pointed to him and she got this dead look and said to me -- "but missy, hes black!" In my oblivion to such things I said "so?" I couldnt understand what she was getting at.
Looking back I'm blessed that despite her having issues with racism I never inherited them. I've dated more white men because outside of the 5 years I spent out west, I've always live in the same suburban area of Cleveland which is highly segregated. But, I date for the person and who they are. My boyfriend happens to be black, so what- hes a wonderful guy, treats me well, is great to my son, and has the same long term goals and values that I have. I'd be crazy to pass him up for any reason, especially something so superficial!
It was pretty funny actually, we went to the Improv last week and the comic was white and married to a black woman, and he made some jokes about interracial dating and meeting the family. He looked down and we happened to be in the front row, and next to us were two other interracial couples... he said "Wow, you're making my job easy tonight!" My boyfriend and I found it pretty amusing. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 4/28/2007 8:11:26 AM | There is race and then there is culture.
Some cultural artifacts will attract or drive people away, for better or for worse. Absent cultural differences, racial differences are mere fetishes, like preferring blondes or brunettes. It's indefensible on any rational level, unless certain urban myths about penis size and such happen to be true. Even then...
Cultural preferences are a bit more complicated. I remember in high school I asked a girl out and she said no, becasue her "father would not permit it". The subtext there was that I was the wrong skin colour and religion. Much later a young, female friend of mine explained how she wanted a guy from her own culture because they see eye-to-eye on more things (She was Chinese who was born in Guyana and raised in Trinidad but is going to school in Canada. She prefers Trini guys to Canadians or Chinese because she can see eye-to-eye with them about most of life's issues.)
There are bad elements in every culture that give rise to certain stereotypes. If you encounter those stereotypes you may be inclined to look outside of that ethnic group. Stereotypes tend to have some basis in fact, however.
Looking at Afghanistan for a moment, does it seem unreasonable if a woman (of any race or culture) said that they do not want to date a Taliban? | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 4/28/2007 8:19:29 AM |
There is race and then there is culture.
That is the determining factor for me. I dont date "thug life" guys- black, white, purple, green, whatever. Its just the lifestyle and mentality that I cannot tolerate.
If someone shares my values that is what matters. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 4/28/2007 8:43:25 AM |
raerae59; Her post implied that she meant everyone who dates out of their race. Period. I can only go by what she said and you really can't say that she meant any different. We are not mind readers. Usually what people write is what they mean, and it was an ignorant statement.
RussetAutumnRose, it's not a matter of being able to read her mind, it's more a matter of ones own mindset and how one interprets what she has written. I just choose to give her the benefit of the doubt on this. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 4/28/2007 8:46:45 AM | | Why do you care what someone else likes or dislikes. Why do you feel the need to announce that you dont see color. I hate the taste of onions so anyone who likes onions should be shot. It is a taste, a choice, a preference nothing more nothing less. It doesn't make someone a bad person. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 4/28/2007 9:16:29 AM |
Why do you care what someone else likes or dislikes. Why do you feel the need to announce that you dont see color. I hate the taste of onions so anyone who likes onions should be shot. It is a taste, a choice, a preference nothing more nothing less. It doesn't make someone a bad person.
A preference for a particular culture may indicate a certain ingnorance. A preference for skin colour, or eye shape, or whatever is somewhat superficial and shallow if it is a determinative thing.
Someone's preferences may not make them a "bad" person, but it very well might make them ignorant and shallow.
And no one has a relationship with an onion, so the comparison isn't really appropriate. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 4/28/2007 12:04:15 PM | raerae59: Let me clue you in on something. There are many people who feel as she does about interracial dating/relationships. Surely you don't believe that no one really feels that way! And when people do feel that way, they probably wouldn't appreciate someone coming along and saying, "No, that's not really what they meant or not really how they feel".
There is no other way to interpret what she said. I said it was an ignorant statement, not that she is ignorant. She is probably a sweet, intelligent, caring person, for all I know.
But you are casting aspersions on her as a person, by claiming that she' didn't mean what she said. Give her the benefit of the doubt by not thinking she does not mean what she said. She has a right to feel that way without someone coming along feeling that they have to speak for her.
She said it is offensive to her to see a black men on POF preferring anyone other than a black woman. Why would anyone make a statement like that if they don't mean it? She meant every word she wrote. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 4/28/2007 12:17:01 PM | | I would never date anyone non-white. I would never date a girl that would date, or had dated, a black man. I ask women that and if they indicate they have, I no longer call them. I ask women about that very soon to get it out of the way. That is my choice. I really don't care what others do but I like what I like also. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 4/28/2007 12:28:11 PM |
I would never date a girl that would date, or had dated, a black man. I ask women that and if they indicate they have, I no longer call them
And how many of those who "pass your test" tell you they won't be calling YOU? | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 4/28/2007 12:40:22 PM |
would never date anyone non-white. I would never date a girl that would date, or had dated, a black man. I ask women that and if they indicate they have, I no longer call them. I ask women about that very soon to get it out of the way. That is my choice. I really don't care what others do but I like what I like also.
So you only date albinos?
I think you are taking that saying "once you've had black you never go back" a little to literally.
As I have stated before very few people in this world are 'pure breeds'.
As long as you do not confuse a persons worth as a human being with the colour of their skin you should be fine.
Well as they say it your lose. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 4/28/2007 12:42:16 PM | What does pro white mean?
Do I have to paint myself in white paint to get a date from a person who says they are pro-white?
Matt or gloss finish? | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 4/28/2007 12:51:44 PM | I myself posted a tread about ''I like him but the culture difference..."
No race is better than another one. I personnality,think we all are humans beings with emotionnal,physical,ethicals needs we can share our culture and differences instead of confroting them . The language barriers has a lot do to with conflicts...
I really know about that since I'm French Canadian from Quebec since I moved to Western Canada many time I have been told "F...FROG GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY"wich at first really hurt my feelings but 7 years later I'm still here and the person who told me that comment Apologized saying that was pretty ignorant of him to say such a thing.Racism is everywere I think racism is a big part of ignorance mix of fear of opening minds.Does it makes any sense? | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 4/28/2007 12:51:53 PM | | I would be cool with them not calling me. I am OK with anyone not calling me for whatever reason they choose. I am comfortable enough with myself and will hopefully find someone right for me. That includes having similar thoughts on dating and sexuality. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 4/28/2007 2:45:35 PM | Well, Emm answered the question about why you would need to clarify your "preference/limits". My sons father had a similar outlook, I thought it was absurd, but to each their own. He didnt end thigns with me over it, but at the point that we had the discussion we were married and I was pregnant, so it probably couldve ended things in the early stages.
Still think it's just as absurd as I did then  It's a sad world we live in! | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 5/9/2007 5:56:35 AM | race and culture are two differnet things!!!
I guess I'm a visible minority apparantly but I was born in Canada and so were 3 generations of my family. I guess I'm more canadian then most so people I'm what kids will look like in 50 years hahaha | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 5/9/2007 5:59:59 AM | | yeah its true i was just on another post were people were like "i really am attracted to east indian people" hahaha no one said anything but when someone says "i really am attracted to white people" its looked at differently? I guess one difference is white is not a specific race but iliminates others but I mean i think LLcooljay is the hottest man on earth yet I am mostly attracted to white guys but eh opposites attract. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 10/18/2007 6:27:26 AM | | Brother I totally agree with you. Some people post those statements because they either are looking for one spicific thing. I have seen beautiful caucasion woman stating" Sorry I dont date outside of my race". or sisters stating "Brothers only please". I grew up in Baltimore in a mixed family and was taught to accept people as who the are.....I have dated interracially since junior high school and never gave any thought to being different till one day a white guy asked me why are you taking our women.....She replyed to him I dont belong to you and will date who I want. He looke at me and aske me to step outside I complied ready to get it on and bamm he said the reason why i did that was because of peer preassure i am actually intrested in dating your friend (a black female) who was with us. Some people find it hard to get rid of old time upbringing...........dont let the skin color fool you women are women weather black white PR asian or Middle eastern and take it from a brother who has traveled the world (USMC) It's all good no matter what color ........... | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 10/18/2007 9:14:13 AM | Before I address OP and state my opinions on his inquiry I was interested in the study by Thebestbeancounter:
For equal success with an African-American woman, a Hispanic man needs to earn an extra $184,000; a white man needs to earn an additional $220,000.
For equal success with a white woman, an African-American needs to earn an additional $154,000; a Hispanic man needs $77,000; an Asian needs $247,000.
For equal success with a Hispanic woman, an African-American man needs to earn an additional $30,000; a white man needs to earn an additional $59,000.
For equal success with an Asian woman, an African-American needs no additional income; a white man needs $24,000 less than average; a Hispanic man needs $28,000 more than average.
You seem to be missing some data about how much an Asian needs to make on several of those divisions above and I was just curious to know the results.
OP-I don't believe one race is better than the next but to some people they prefer a certain race, it is only a preference as in eyes, butt, boobs, penis size, height. hair color, lifestyle, income level, education, social status, and other variations of preferences people have.
Some people who date within their race usually do this because their preferences for food, culture, physical attributes, incomes, social circle, and religion are similar. It is a common understanding, common interests. Some just like the way they look.
For me, I prefer to date men my own culture but don't really date them because there aren't alot of them where I live that I have any common interest with. I didn't have asian friends until I went to college, grew up in an asian household, and maybe have identity issues that only an asian man that may have grown up here for a long time can relate too, than there is the physical aspect of my preference that would have to come into play as well. When I date caucasian men, sure they have to relate to me on many levels but I prefer them to like to try new things and open to many views and maybe a similar background and socially similar to myself, again common interest and goals, and yes the physical aspect is important to me as well.
People are attracted to certain cultures or races from their experience and they will date people in these certain cultures/races based on what they experience as positive, thus relatively speaking is a preference or taste they have acquired.
If I were to analyze the type of men that turn my head or one that I would elbo one of my wing girls/guys into action are very tall men, caucasian men, usually with a mixed descent as in my previous ex because that was a positive aspect I had acquired. It is a preference, and people may consider that shallow but certain things tick for certain people. Some like vanilla others have a preference for chocalate ice cream.
People have their silly reasons. For example, I like the mixture of an Irish and a Greek/Italian (although I have never dated an Italian man-had friends that were but never dated as of yet) the lighter mix makes them less hairy and they tend to have olive skin with the dark and light mixture. Not too white and not to dark. Silly but seems to be an attractive mix to me.
I have never dated black men. There are many complicated reasons that come into play but requires another thread but it all really comes down to physical preference and culture and common interest and goals.
I never would have dated younger men before, but now I am a little more open to it because I had a positive experience recently. But, I definately have a cut-off factor. I had a 19 year email me and my response to him was, you are definately too young for me. Than, he emailed me about a friendship and I told him that we would not have anything in common for me to desire a friendship with him. There is an underlying automatic response to draw the line of what is socially acceptable in any person's world. And, everyone has those boundaries dependant on their social circles, some edging onto the extreme of racism. There is a fine line between preference and racism.
Silly as it may be, I always thought 5'11" was the perfect size man for me because my ex was that tall and we had a perfect fit when we would spoon in bed. But, the younger dude I dated was 6'4" and I enjoyed that height because he seem to be able to pick me up and throw me around alot easier. And, for some reason his height makes me feel safer and makes him appear stronger. I have a preference for this even though when we hold hands it seems like I am child walking around with him because he is so tall. And, we spooned fine, my head was not perfectly tucked where my nose would be in his neck as in the 5'11 boyfriend, but when you are horizontal there are less restrictions with height. I prefer tall men. It's my preference based on my positive experiences. Ultimately, different things turn different people on and alot of it is based on their experiences, or lack there of. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 10/18/2007 9:36:14 AM | Some people are physically attracted to a certain race whether it's their own race or a different race. Some people generally have the same interests and lifestyle with people of a certain race. Some people live in an area where most of the people are from the same race. The only time I would get offended about a person's racial preference is if that preference was based on stereotypes, generalizations, or a few bad experiences.
I ask women that and if they indicate they have, I no longer call them. I ask women about that very soon to get it out of the way.
If you asked a white woman that question and she has dated a black man, then she would probably be offended and want nothing to do with you anyways. Even some white women that haven't dated a black man would be offended by this and would want nothing to do with you. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 10/18/2007 9:38:50 AM | | Some times it is just a matter of past experience and environment that dictates ones preferance, some times it is simply a matter of what a person is used to some one who has predominantly dated one race or another may carry that preferance when merging into online dating by adding it to their profile. Me I think each person carries thier own unique atributes,though my wife loves my white boy ghetto booty, some would call it a bubble butt. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 10/18/2007 10:42:43 AM | | people are people regardless of race, color, culture, or any other factor that you want to throw into it. you will find all types of people in every race.I myself am biracial so I find it hard to date anyone and not call it interracial dating. It all comes down to personal preferance and as long as no hate is being spread I dont see a problem . if youre not trying to force your preferance on other people then I have no problem . let everyone date whoever they want to. I myself have a preferance and I get teased about it by other people constantly.I have only dated white men, not saying that I will never date another race. it just hasnt happened yet, but I will say that I do have a preferance, though I tend to judge people by who they are not how they look. so if I ever found that I connected well with another race I would date them without a problem. for the most part I think it has to do with my enviroment. I have both black and white family members but the majority of my friends..the people I spend most of my time with are white, and since thats who Im with most of the time thats typically who I end up getting to know and dating. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 10/18/2007 11:31:51 AM | Im pleased at how mature this thread has stayed, first off!!
Myself, I have always dated whomever im attracted to..which happens to host a mulititude of races and cultures! Just my preference not to have a preference. And there are tons of reasons why people prefer their own.. OR prefer any but their own.. just too many to try to capture..
How can one explain attraction...
Only advise is if you get hit up by someone outside your race and your not into it.. Dont be rude, no one knows your preference until you tell them. With that Im out..
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 10/18/2007 12:33:17 PM | I have never dated an Asian girl. .my Number 1 attraction, nor have I the pleasure of dating a black ( coloured ) woman also number 1 attraction, but I would if I could. It doesn't matter about race or culture just a preference on attraction. I wish this friggin rasism would fly the f***k away.
Just a matter of what my attraction is towards nothing rasism about it, as mentioned 1000's of times before all the same under neight no- one race is better than the other no- one race is more beautiful than the other, Chreyl Tiegs is no more beautiful than Tyra Banks ... well give a little more to Tyra ... but hey that is my preference.
And if I could date Latoya Jackson with out the money the Concorde Jet couldn't get me there fast enough.
Date who you want, as you want, when you want and F***K the world. You are only here for 70 years and 50 years is spent with hopefully a girl that is your life long dream. And who gives a shit after you are gone, who you cherished while you were here. There will be nothing better than looking back at your life and realize that it was the girl you were with and the kids you raised that made it all worth while. And hopefully you are thought of the same by your wife and interracial kids
And I wish my profile was different right now | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 10/18/2007 1:10:04 PM | OP, unfortunately there will always be some form of racism by some people, or those who stay away from those of a particular culture or another for their own reasons. IMO, it's mostly due to ignorance and that's pretty hard to combat in some people. But considering the number of multi-racial and multi-cultural people in the world today, I don't believe it's as big an issue as it used to be. More people now realize that we're all human, regardless of what color we are or what physical features we have.
I don't have a problem with dating someone of another race, but I will say that certain cultural things might keep me from getting serious with someone, regardless of what their race is. For example, anyone whose religion plays a huge part in their life and advocates that women are second-class citizens who should be covered head-to-toe and subservient, well that's not going to work for me. Another example would be someone who insisted I convert to their religion, such as Judiasm or Muslim; nope, that's not for me. But, regardless of what race or culture someone is from, I use the same criteria to decide if I want to date them. | |
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| question about interracial dating ...
Posted: 10/18/2007 1:14:17 PM | hmmm I've never really thought about it to be perfectly honest. I've gone out with more white women then I have black one, and it isn't because I say I'm not going to go out with this type of person.
Just who I was attracted to at the time...it should always be about what you like and not what the media says you should!!! | |
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