| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 5/9/2007 2:16:30 AM | So far this thread is of to a good start....several individuals along with myself have posted on this topic ! I've noticed that there have been "465" people who have viewed this topic / "51" who has posted in here...Anyone who have viewed and have been diagnosed with depression...or knows someone who has, I hope you can feel comfortable enough to post in here in time....
"Depression"... It is a very confusing...unpredictable...hard to understand....Illness to live with...Whether you are the "sufferer" or you know some one who does! It's not just the person who has been diagnosed with it that suffers...family and friends suffer to as it is as hard for them as it is for us...... Some people may think that you are just seeking "attention"...I've been there, been accused of it! I have had certain individuals refer to me as being "crazy"... ((well I might be...just a little ))
Sad thing is, it's hard to understand this illness at times...for the sufferer and the people around us...It is a "one day at a time" process... But we got to be willing to seek help...that is the first step...
C68 | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:44:06 AM | Hi all,
This illness is definately confusing...and all the rest that Cindy said and probably a lot more adjectives to describe it as well.
One of the biggest problems I have about is DENIAL. Denying that I have this awful disease and that it isn't some other thing that will be easier healed, or that I can just pick myself up and shrug on like others too often think.
I also think a lot of people could benefit from something like this, if they only let themselves come out of denial, and not be too afraid that others will think low of them.
Yes, we have to be willing to seek help, and thank goodness I have been strong enough this last while to seek it.
I also have been accused of the attention thing too. I think that a lot of the negativity about it from other people kept me in denial on and off for a real long time.
Dustie13 | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 5/9/2007 4:39:49 PM | Hey Dustie13......It's hard to accept depression as our illness...to understand it...to live a normal life everyday when we are feeling low...to get out of the bed at times...to eat...sleep...talk...EVERYTHING! For anyone to try and understand how we feel...it's going to be hard! BUT...we are the only one that can say how we feel...how we think...what we feel and so on......For family and friends that do not understand thsi illness..it is a great thing to get as much information on Depression as possible! It does help to understand it a little bit more> I have been diagnosed since 1998 - 1999...almost ten years and I have been up and down...off and on! Usually with the loss of someone or something...thats when it is hardest, I got to fight it to stay on top, but thus far I have! I have had people say different things about me when I have been really down..."looking for attention"..."to lazy to clean house"..."not a fit Mom"... that's only a few things...Sad thing is one has judged me without walking in my shoes.....If only they did, they would have a completely different opinion! Keep you chin up sweetie...you will have down days but you will have your up days to...you can do it!.........
C8 | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 5/9/2007 7:04:38 PM | Thanks so much Cindy for your support.
I am trying to keep the chin up, as they say. I find when the depression is the worst that I am very negative. When I start feeling better I become more positive. ( and I like to be that person)
I too have found it the hardest, when I either have lost something or someone. ( Makes me think about loss and trying to help myself with my losses better...ie: groups, counselling...) Hmmmm...
When I am feeling better I know there are good days. I am starting to feel it now. I hope it keeps up, because I enjoy the positiveness. And yes, thanks for reminding me that I am going to have down days (but hopefully they are not all down again) and I will have good days as well.  This is so true. The road is not straight, but has twists and turns.
I really try hard to not judge others too, but have a really hard time of it when the negativity sets in. That part of my illness i do not like, because that is not my normal self.
Anyway, I want to say thanks for reading and posting. It's great to have the support.
dustie13 | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 5/10/2007 3:10:11 AM | Hey Dustie13...you are very welcome....anytime I may be able to help I am here! I have been where you are to and at one point and time I was even lower on the ladder of depression...There are so many times I have suffered...done without...missed out on and so on....Before I was diagnosed , I couldn't understand why I felt like I did...Just didn't make sense! Alot of people didn't know how I really felt because I wore the mask of a smile, of being happy...It was so easy to do, but on the inside I was just numb...cold...and lost! Until one night at 2:00 A.M. I phoned my sister and asked her to come over...and I told her that something wasn't right for me to feel like I did..that was the start of the turning point for me! It was a long road and a hard one at the beginning and it still is at times but that was the beginning for me of understanding why I felt like I did at times!!!! Also I have a low vitamin b12 defiency...if an individual doesn't suffer with depression...this can be the start of it! This defiency makes you fatigue...hard to concentrate...forgetful...not caring...all of the symptons of depression! Anyone who suffers with being depressed I would suggest getting their B12 checked just to be sure...
By the way dustie13...you are the "positive" person but sometimes the "negative" one also known as "depression" will take over and do its best to stay...It is very hard to fight this but you can do it...
With seeking help...seeing a doctor...perhaps going on medication...support...you will be in control there are much brighter days ahead...
SUPPORT from family and friends is something everyone needs no matter what! But you can do it...you are on the right path now you just might have to take a turn here and there but you will come back to the same path...believe in yourself and do what ever it takes to keep you on the right path!........best wishes sweetie
C68 | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 5/10/2007 8:39:51 AM | AIN'T NO DOTTED LINE
Life is a highway
Ive heard them all say
There'll be lots of twists and turns
As you drive on your way
Keep along the dotted line
And at a steady speed
Well, ive done some thinkin'
And ill have to disagree
Well , ya gotta have a 4 wheel drive
To make it through this life
There aint no dotted line
Its a roll of the fuzzy dice
So, keep her locked in 4 wheel drive
If ya wanna make it through
Cause when theres no dotted line
Its the best that you can do.
Sometimes the mud'll getcha
If ya make it over the hill
Theres times the big old rocks will
Beat out your grille
Keep 2 hands on the wheel
And put her down in low
Cause what lies in the path ahead
Well,.....you never know.
Well , ya gotta have a 4 wheel drive
To make it through this life
There aint no dotted line
Its a roll of the fuzzy dice
So, keep her locked in 4 wheel drive
If ya wanna make it through
Cause when theres no dotted line
Its the best that you can do.
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 5/10/2007 12:15:27 PM | """Dotted Line or not..."""
Life is like a highway...dotted line or not
sometimes though in this life we feel its all we got
There's lots of twists and turns...Each day and every night
Sometimes we feel, "why bother"? Just give up the fight!
But dotted line or not...we would all have to say
It's got alot to do with us...what happens in our day
We do not need no four wheel drives...no roll of a fuzzy dice
But just to have a dotted line...sometimes it would be nice
To by pass all the twists and turns...not knowing whats ahead
For those days when it's to dam hard to get up out of bed
As for that four wheel drive when its put in its "low gear"
Remember that because of you.....a better day is near.....
Cindy68 | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 5/11/2007 5:30:19 PM | Hi,
I just checked my profile and just found out that it puts these messages in the profile.
Don't know why, for what reason anyone would want to do that?
I am not a person that would hide anything anyway, but believe you need to start somewhere and that there's a place and time for everything. Telling a person that u have something like this is not something u blurt out in the first few minutes of meeting.
It took me a long time to even post on here because of having the illness.
I can feel it in my bones... I am on the way back up and if reading those posts means people will judge me, well I guess they are not the type of person that I would've wanted to meet anyway!
Maybe it's a good thing!!! (trying to look at it positively) It will weed out all the jerks, the men that would not understand. I think sooooooo!!!!
dustie13 | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 5/11/2007 6:11:20 PM | I so agree with you 100% Dustie13....That was why I had a little bit of "should I or shouldn't I" start a thread like this! BUT......we are who we are and if by chance someone doesn't like us for who WE are......they do not deserve to have anything to do with us anyways! I feel just by reading the replys that you have posted that you are on your way to the top of the ladder again...Good for you...YOU CAN DO IT! Today may be a good day...tomorrow may not be so good! But you will get past the "bad" days and there will be more "good" days than you are even aware of!
As all that reads this thread on "depression" there have been several that have posted replys in here....no one has thus far downed any of us for admitting our illness or having suffered with it! I have also gotten messages thanking me for starting this thread.....Which I think is really nice, thank you..... Again some of the key words to being in control of Depression are :
#1...accepting that you suffer with depression
#2...seeking help
#3...having to take medications if need be
#4...Support from family/friends/ others.....
#5...counselling if you need it
#6...being open to others about your illness
#7...doing something to keep you mind busy...(reading, writing, walking etc...)
#8...having back ups (calling a friend, counsellor etc...when you feel a low coming on)
#9...This one is I find is a must...DO NOT KEEP THINGS THAT BOTHER YOU TO YOURSELF...TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT IT!
#10..Getting what infromation you can about Depression and try to understand why it makes you feel like you do when you are down...
This is some of the main things I find to be helpful in staying in cortrol of depression!
Best wishes to each and everyone ...and if you're having a "down" day...hang in there as an "up" day is just around the corner...take it from someone who has been there ...
Cindy68 | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 5/14/2007 12:06:16 AM | I appreciate the fact that you've started this thread, cindy68.
I've been trying to deal with this myself for a good part of my life now. I believe the only times I've truly been enthusiastic is when I'm talking to my brother, but I am often not around such company from day to day. I've tried a lot of things, like medication (which worked when I was on it, though I dipped even lower when I ran out of pills), and therapy (which didn't help at all so far); I'm thinking about getting a lot more pills from my doctor AND going to a therapist, which hopefully will be a good combination.
Anyway, a lot of the things mentioned in this thread is way too familiar to me. I haven't really told anyone about it, since there's always the (possibly misperceived) chance of losing a friendship or whatever else with someone because they think that you might just be seeking attention.
I've always felt too distant from anyone, even with people I hang out with all the time. I tend to avoid places where I've had a single bad interaction with someone, even if it is a public place that I used to frequent. I also find that these things tend to affect everything else in my life, like my study habits and whatever else.
It sucks shit. I'm trying to shake it but I simply can't.
Anyway, apologies if it sounds like I'm seeking attention. Thanks again for making this thread, it's great to vent somewhere every now and then. | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 5/14/2007 3:46:05 AM | Thank you "Merc248" for posting in here and you are welcome...And by no means do you sound like you are seeking attention...I noticed that you are young...but
"depression" doesn't care how old you are...who you are...or anything about you...It can get each and everyone of us at anytime.....The symptons are pretty much the same for anyone with this illness, what makes us feel better does vary! Sad but true...alot of people DOES NOT understand and they may shun us if they knew how we felt, or accuse us of just looking for "attention"! Getting as much information on this illness I find is very helpful for me and people in my life....No matter what we have to do whatever it takes to help us feel better...it's up to us to do it...no one else can do it for us!
Medications...if they help...it is "DEFINITELY" something that should be a part of one's life...don't stop taking them! Talking to someone about how you feel does help...whether it's a fmily member...friend...counselor...doctor...talking does help...it may not seem like it but it does! Even putting down our thoughts in here makes a difference!!! I so agree with you merc248... it does suck $h!t and trying to shake it is very hard! It can't be done alone...anyone who suffers depression needs some kind of help with this illness... It is not curable but it is CONTROLLABLE....You being younger, it would be hard to disclose to your friends how you feel... I didn't when I was younger ((which wasn't very long agao  ))
Depression no matter what age we are....it is an illness that is very hard to live with...to cope with...to be an outsider of...to understand...BUT no matter what..hang in there! Those days when everything seems so dark and black, you will get through them to the days of sunshine and brightness...I myself have so been there and I will say that I didn't think I would ever see sunshine or brightness again....BUT I HAVE! Most days I see sunshine when it is cloudy and dull....I feel the warmth when it is cold...and I see the good instead of the bad....don't get me wrong, I still haave my "down" days...but I am in control thus far......and that's where all of us who suffer with depression needs to be...."""IN CONTROL""..........Good luck to you and remember...there are better days ahead and you will get there and see them yourself....................
C68 | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 5/26/2007 12:42:43 PM | Excellent thread, Cindy!
What about having a relationship with a person who suffers from depression?
This is my experience with depression:
A couple of years ago, I met a man and we clicked. We had an amazing courtship to right about 6 months. And then I started to see signs that he was suffering from depression. He admitted that he had suffered from depression on and off since the age of seventeen. He had even attempted suicide in the past.
I don't know where the depression came from.
He shared with me that he had tried to hang himself at the age of 7 on a school bus.
He had also been in a physically abusive relationship with his drug user ,stripper ex gf.
She had beat on him many times.
He was never treated for the depression.
I urged him to seek help, medication, therapy.... He refused.
There were a few times where he would talk to me about suicide. There was a particular incident where I thought he was at his apartment trying to hurt himself.
When i could not reach him by phone, I sent the police to go check on him.
He was furious and dumped me that very night.
The relationship went from amazing to bad, he basically blamed me for a lot of things, nothing I did was good enough for him.
He would put me down in subtle ways.
I went from being a strong confident girl to a crying mess. It was one of the worse experiences in my life and it took me a LONG time to get over it.
He basically dragged me into his big black hole.
The nicer I was to him, the worse he treated me.
I just did not understand why he hated me so much.
I wonder if the relationship would have been different if he had seeked help, medication, something. | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 5/26/2007 2:17:01 PM | Hi Helen1234......Hey sweetie...I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that...as It sure was NOT fair to you to be treated that way! Sounds to me, just my opinion...but he had "issue's" form a very young age! Seems there is some sort of depression with this guy also but ....at age "seven" trying to hang himself??? What was going on with him in his childhood at 7yrs old ..to want to hang himself? Depending on his life style...childhood...how he was treated..so on....that may be where the depression had started. As I have said before in this thread..."In order for anyone to get help with this illness...they have to be willing to admit that there is something wrong...and seek help for it" !
No matter what you do or did...he would have to do this in order to get the help, that sounds to me he NEEDS !
Depression is a horrible thing to suffer with...and those that love us, suffer to! It's not just the person who suffer's with depression, it's also outsiders, people who love us... that suffer the conquences of what we do. And yes, a person can be hauled into that "dark" hole along with someone, as it sounds like you were....Sad thing is in your situation...you were willing by the sounds of it to help this guy, to be there for him...and he pushed you away! It's his loss sweetie....BUT.....................That confident girl that you were, I'm sure you are today or will be again! Let this be an experience for you, a painful one, but remember....Never let anyone be little you...or make you feel like you did something wrong...Let this make you even stronger and confident than you were to begin with!
The relationship may have/may not have been different if he did seek help! That's something you won't know......but in my opinion...he had a lot more issues than depression......maybe he didn't...but not getting help.....he won't change.....
When someone suffers from depression...yes they can haul someone whom they love into a hole with them...not intentionally...As for me, when I have been very low with depression...I didn't care about alot that went on around me and my B/F at that time.... he suffered to....I didn't do this to him on purpose but it happens...with me I got the help I needed and so on...to get me where I am to today! And I know the warning signs when I am starting to get down....when that happens...I do what I got to do to get back on top!
All the best to you helen1234......and remember you did try to help him....he didn't accept it.....take care sweetie....
Cindy68 | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 6/8/2007 11:53:31 PM | | Wow I was reading through this thread and I really relate to it. I was diagnosed in 2000 with depression and it cost me my marriage or so I thought. I was called lazy, a hypochondriac and he even compared me to Susan Smith because I take the same meds effexor. I stuck out quite a few unhappy years because I thought I wasn't strong enough to be on my own. Boy was I wrong, I am very proud of me, I am not lazy and useless, I have a disease that is controllable. My ex and hi family never cared enough to educate themselves to the condition and made life much more stressful. Who needs to be put down all the time when you are already down? Any how I have learned to focus on the positive and yes I believe in the golden rule too. If someone is reading this that has a loved one suffering from this please take the time to understand. For those who are depressed, if those around you refuse to understand then leave. We all deserve to be loved and to be cared for. | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 6/9/2007 11:50:14 AM | Another member posting in here....thank you "Fortmacgurl" for sharing that in here......and you should be proud of your self sweetie, as for the "ex" and his family.....they are the ones that got nothing to be proud of for not taking the time to be there for you, their loss!
That's the sad thing about "depression"...a lot of people don't know enough about it and do not take the time to educate themselves, then it is the people that are "suffering" that gets looked down on as being lazy...attention seekers...no good for nothing...and on it goes! I have been accused of these things to!
Depression is in us all...but some of us have to fight harder to control it and live a happy life...even now when I'm feeling good I am still fighting to stay that way! I have come a long and there are still times that I got a long ways to go BUT so far so good...I am still in control Whoo Hoo....For anyone who doesn't know alot about DEPRESSION and they know someone who suffers with it....try and understand it as best as you can...be there for that person...
Giving someone support...means alot and does help them, even if they don't recognize it at the time.....
C68 | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....!!!
Posted: 7/7/2007 11:46:23 AM | | Sometimes I can feel depressed myself. Generally, I am not even close to as moody as I used to be some years ago. I watch what I eat, and I realized what I was eating was affecting my mood. I also make an effort to meditate, surround myself with uplifting people, do some exercise, spoil myself, but I do occasionally have my dog days, depressing days. I think it is normal for us all to get somewhat depressed, and we can choose, to some extent, how to respond to it. We need to live healthy lives to be in the best mood possible... I think I am a much happier person in my life because I understand my health needs, live a much better life... I think our fast paced lives, where we don't get a chance to breathe, eat foods that bring toxins to us instead of consuming things like amino acids, fish oil, healthy fats that would uplift us, we make ourselves feel worse. I don't know how depressed some people get here. I just don't let myself get very sad or depressed because I know I don't need to feel bad when I am very fortunate, have many blessings. I keep trying to remember that and meditate on who I am and what I have, but it is normal for us to feel down and it is brave to express those feelings where we are encouraged to feel perfect. I am not perfect. | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....!!!
Posted: 7/12/2007 1:57:09 PM | I suffered depression for many years, here's an effective yet simple affirmation to help;
You need to say this affirmation over and over, get it running round and round in your head, but dont just say the words, think about their meening and most importantly, feel them. Remember only 1 thought can be in your head at one time, YOU CHOOSE, and if you can make it this the one for long enough, you will get results, I did.
"As Master of My Universe,
I Choose,
Joy in My Heart and My Soul." | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 7/28/2007 5:06:09 PM | "Depression is a cruel punishment. There are no fevers, no rashes, no blood tests to send people scurrying with concern...just the slow erosion of the self, as insidious as any cancer. And, like cancer, it is essentially a solitary experience...a room in hell with only your name on the door". Martha Manning Undercurrents--(1994)author/therapist who has dealt with major depression.
When I read this, ironically it actually gave me comfort. The terror lessened just from knowing that someone else was in that place. Every single day and night for two full years I cried in utter agony and thought I would never get well. I'm well now but believe me, I could write a whole book describing in great detail the pain and torment of that dark hell. I know depression will always be part of me now. You never really get over major depression, you simply absorb it and it becomes part of you. You accept it and are always aware of the possibility of relapse. The right medication really does work but you need to keep trying until they find the right one for you. For all those who suffer with this illness, remember that you are NOT alone. I ask God to give you peace and courage. It takes great courage and God WILL provide it. Bless you. | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 7/29/2007 7:22:16 PM | Hi Ceelie...I want to say Thank you for posting in this thread on depression. You are so right when you posted that..."Depression is a cruel punishment" ! But ...unknown at the time when one isn't feeling the best is..."That Punishment can be "CONTROLLED" with the right guidance and yes medication!
"A room to h3!!"....Again very true indeed! No one knows what kind of H3!! one goes through when they suffer with the illness "depression"! Even when it is controlled...it at times is still so dam hard to live and deal with at times...!
I to suffered so many years till one night I knew something was definitely wrong...so I went on my own to see the doctor. Thats how it all started for me, trying to get my life back! Now almost ten years later since I was first diagnosed with this illness...I am in CONTROL...I am well! I to could write a book on the ups...downs...ins...outs...and all of the above concerning "Depression" and how it affects ones' life!....
An amazing friend...((A.K.A. my "guardian" angel )) always says to me that..."God will not hand you no more than you can handle"... I now believe what she says...
All the best to you... 
Cindy68 | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 9/24/2007 11:06:52 PM | I was diagnosed with depression about 5 years ago. Upon reflection, I should have been treated for it when I was a teenager but hey, better late than never :)
I like this thread, it really gets straight to the point. It very much is a illness as Cindy said, medications help however they are not perfect and sometimes bring drawbacks of their own. I am very much open about my affliction to those around me.
I know that some will try to "shame" us lol however the simple fact of the matter is, they have no idea what they are talking about lol. Often, anyone who would do that tends to have the mentality of a kid more often than not and as we all know, you cant stay mad at a kid right? lol 
When I have been "shamed", I just brush it off and enjoy the fact that more often than none, people with depression are often talented, dare I say "gifted" people (poets, musicians, artists, to name a few). The best music, art, writings have come from very depressed people.
Depression is just another element in life. For those of us who have it, it is not a lot of fun I will admit, however everyone will at some point feel depressed for some reason. It is simply another element in life (just not a fun one). For those of us who is diagnosed with it, it is a daily element of life.
Ironically, sometimes being open about depression, telling people your thoughts on the illness can help someone around you who may be suffering and not relize it or afraid to admit to it. With the RIGHT treatment, it can be managed : peace:
Once again, I really like this thread . . . .
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 9/25/2007 3:49:34 AM | Hi Bay Wop...I am glad to see another individual posting in this thread on DEPRESSION ! I had deleted my profile from here and a few days after doing so, I signed up in POF again! The reason for deleting my profile was because I am not really looking for anyone at this time..If I am to meet someone , it will happen when I least expect it...I feel I don't need to be looking for it! My reason for doing another profile is the "FORUMS" ! Especially this topic on DEPRESSION! I hope that by having this thread it will give some one out there that also suffer with this illness some help with how they feel...as in talking or something they may be able to do differently...It is my hopes that because of what I have went through with depression..I can make a difference in someone else's life!
Depression is an "Illness" that is not curable but it is controllable with the right medications...counselling..and so on! There are brighter days ahead even when it seems there isn't! I have been through so much with this Illness...I am proof of where one may be and where one can be with "depression"....and because of this...I am back for the forums....all the best to everyone
Cindy68  | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 9/25/2007 3:07:35 PM | haha the counsiling. I remember that vividly. Parhaps it was just the particular shrink I had but I found myself more confused than anything after a session lol. I just rely on my family and friends when I need to yak about somthing.
I been after deleting and reregistering with pof about a 1/2 dozen times now. I tend to be too honest sometimes in my profile lol (but its better than a web of lies)
I will be back and forth here. Would like to hear your thoughts on the subject as well as anyone else who may have this illness.
David | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 9/25/2007 7:18:03 PM | Counselling....yeppers I remember that to....actually I had a great woman to talk to...she is a "counsellor"... and she was awesome to talk to... In reality...doesn't really matter if it's a counsellor...a friend...a family member...or someone else that one talks to ...it helps big time to talk to someone! Whether one is Depressed or not ....if there is something that is bothering them... talking does help! Keeping it inside is what does the damage !
Everyone is different I know but I find that if someone keeps issues bottled up inside theirselves....it is not healthy....
Being out in the open about depression or another mental illness sometimes it makes others look at those who do have a mental Illness in a way that they shouldn't...but hey, I am who I am and if someone don't like it...or want to look down on me because I have been diagnosed with depression, that is their choice! No one should never judge a book by its' cover...just my thoughts on it........ | |
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| Depression and how if affects us all.....
Posted: 9/26/2007 3:52:15 PM | Books should never have covers. Sometimes, the best book of all is the one with the different cover. Same with people, the cover may not be typical however if people would mind to look past that, they may discover that the "book" is actually quite good and like a good book, will be the best thing ever happen, despite the cover.
I belive that mental illness is the last great boundrey for people to cross over and to accept it for what it is. We no longer put down those with physical disabilitys or other disbilitys. Mental disabilitys will take longer but as people learn more, it will be accepted for what it really is, not for what people think it is :) | |
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