| What is truely lost when a long term relationship ends
Posted: 5/19/2007 12:28:05 PM | | in your case i guess it could be the ability to trust again that easily.i feel bad for u man but life is like that.bad things happen to good people.and by reading your post u do sound like someone who didnt deserve that.but u know what they say what doesnt kill u only makes u stronger.im sure this experience will make u grow and this wont happened again with the next person u do meet.ill telll u something the real chalenge might be not being tempted to get back with her.cause that long distance relationship she made online wont work.usually never does.she probably never met the guy right before she left u.if its the typical thing as usual she will go there,meet him he'l turn out to be a jerk or more precisely not 'the dream' she had in mind so then she will get back down to reality and realise she wants the true love she had from u.but u shouldnt get back with her.if she did that once she will do it again. the main thing to do right now is to make sure the kids are not bothered too much by the situation with u and your wife.try to keep relations with her on a civilize level if possible.for the good of the kids. | |
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| What is truely lost when a long term relationship ends
Posted: 7/5/2007 7:17:55 AM |
I finally concluded that, even if you truly gave it all, the love&the ability, & even the desire to share it, grows back. Slowly. But don't get ahead of things. deal with the present, &only the present for now. &, if you can't do it yourself, get help, asa couple others have suggested.(one source of help, could be a higher power, if you believe in one).
Bingo!! Great post Bill!!
unleashed103..you said it yourself..."through the grace of God ." I wish you the very best...take it slow and try to let God help you. Truly he still works miracles.
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| What is truely lost when a long term relationship ends
Posted: 7/6/2007 8:40:39 PM | You are a VERY Smart-Blonde...that is exactly what you lose. It leaves a vacant space that all the positive things and actions that you focus on, keep busy with, create...will not fill the void. It gets better with time, and it certainly gets better when another special person comes along. It's been six years since my loss, and when I least expect it something familiar will pop up out of the blue, and I still get that 'sucker punched' feeling. Things got much better when I determined that the significance of having him in my life far out weighed the pain of learning to live without him.
FFT  | |
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| What is truely lost when a long term relationship ends
Posted: 7/8/2007 4:04:46 PM | First let me say that I am sorry you are feeling so lonely and hurt, the pain truly is unimaginable!
Try to look past all the bad and look really hard to see what you've learned! That is the only way to manage (I speak from experience), to see all the great things you've learned about yourself through this!
You will learn that you are a strong man, willing to go out there again and be loved, you are able to be alone and be okay with that oneness.
Even though you may feel suicidal, lonely, or miss those tender moments, you will prove that it's okay to feel all those things, but take strength in knowing you will push it all!!
You will look back on this time, and feel relief that you got through this pain. What you don't understand yet, is you needed to go through this pain to get to the next step or stage in your life.
Each relationship is a learning experience and each person you meet will provide you with something that you didn't know about yourself before.
You will amaze yourself and your children, with how great life can be after this painful fight to regain peace and to find love again!!
I wish you lots of luck!!! | |
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| What is truely lost when a long term relationship ends
Posted: 7/9/2007 6:32:54 AM | | its extremly hard starting over, myself was married 9 years,u think hey what am i going 2 do now,who will support me ,who can i talk 2,ive been single 5 years have been reluctant 2 become 2 involved once again mainly for my childrens sake however the one thing i have learnt is i have become a stronger more independent person and i have only myself to thank,the pain will ease and you will trust again there is no certainty in life but live out ur inspirations and focus on what the future may hold,take each day i truly believe there is happiness out there once u reach it within x | |
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| What is truely lost when a long term relationship ends
Posted: 7/9/2007 7:32:27 AM | | I am sorry. You are terribly hurt and that hurt will take a very long time before you can say with conviction 'I am over this and ready to move on'. I know it is alot easier for me to say to you that in time it will all get better. It will but, you need to deal with the hurt and the anger and accept the situation before anything can happen. There is a line which goes like this ' if you truly love someone, then let them go, if it's meant to be, they will return'. There are going to be alot of times when you will think about her and remember things that was said and done. You need to take one day at a time and spend more time with your kids and maybe get a new hobby. It will get better someday, when it will, all depends on you. | |
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| What is truely lost when a long term relationship ends
Posted: 7/9/2007 7:50:20 AM | | You put that beautifully and it expressed everything I am feeling as my wife of 6 years did a similar thing and left me feeling empty. I have had exactly the same problems with my emotions not knowing which one was going to be next and when I finally have a few good days I suddenly find myself sobbing uncontrollably realising what I've lost and my feelings of complete worthlessness. | |
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| What is truely lost when a long term relationship ends
Posted: 7/9/2007 7:59:27 AM | | I REALLY see this a blessing for you, look at this pictures down the road, its better she is gone now then later, you are still young can easily find another LADY or someone with good moral / ethics values. I would say good riddens to bad rubbish. always look at the bright side of life..........there are PLEANTY of fish in the ocean. | |
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| What is truely lost when a long term relationship ends
Posted: 7/9/2007 9:52:14 AM | well its been awhile since ive checked the replys to this post but i have to admit there are many great caring people out here with a lot of wisdom.....andys reply really stands out as it helps to know i am not the only one with these feelings... although i am sorry others have had to endure this....however as a quick up date i am slowly peicing my life back together, even though the soon to be ex wife is doing everything in her power to tear me down again, but i have found strength i never new i possesed....and some how some way i will prevail in the end, live a good life, find a good partner that will be a positive influence for my kids, and be the best dad to my kids i can be, even if the ex doesnt want me around them .
thankyou all of you for all the kind words, messages and support ....you people have helped me more then you will ever know through this storm.....just by providing an outlet, and some kind of response telling me things that in my heart i know, but was refusing to accept
once again i cant thank all of you enough | |
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| What is truely lost when a long term relationship ends
Posted: 3/14/2008 5:09:58 PM | hey, i totally feel for you. ihave been traveling down the same alomost exact road for the last 3 years.don't beat yourself up man.she chose not to love,so it's her lose.marriage is taken way to lightly these days.you have to be strong for your kids.remember know one can ever take your place in their hearts. you are the only father they will ever have.be happy,cuz out of love lost you 2 that will love you for the rest of your life like no one ever can or ever will for that matter.i truley thought i lost the love of my life when she told me go cuz i don't love you any more.you could have hit me square in the face with a shovel and would never hurt as much as the one you gave your heart and soul to in front of god .if my marriage taught me one thing about myself that i did not know before it is this.i was a lost soul till i met and married that person.even though she has turned into a very nasty spiteful beotch lol.she taught me how to really love some one and gave me the greatest gift anyone ever could... my boys. don't let yourself feel damaged because of someone elses mistakes.she burned bridges not you, so chin up there is one person out there who is dying to find a guy like you and me who knows how to love someone.we have to learn to let someone love us again.lol what is truely lost you ask? well for me i lost my my blinders to the world as it really is.i have come to realize that you can't make some one love you.that does not mean you can't love them with your whole heart.be a man lol wear it proudly on your sleeve.eventually the one who it is truely meant for will see it and you will be amazed at what that feels like.they say shit happens for a reason, i gree lol made me a better man and taught me what i truel need in my life.so with all my rambling i must say good luck to you my friend.remember she burned her bridges,and she is makin you feel; like shit only to make herself feel better lol. makes her pretty pethetic in my book.be a good dad thats all you can do for your family now.and get out there and find HER she's been waiting her whole life for someone just like you! | |
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| What is truely lost when a long term relationship ends
Posted: 3/14/2008 5:19:07 PM | You lose your best friend.
Your dreams, and future together.
Someone that always put a smile on your face and would give you a hug at the end of the day to make everything better.
Someone to fall asleep beside at night, and when he held you made you feel safe.
All of the things I have lost from my marriage were and had nothing to do with material things. | |
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| What is truely lost when a long term relationship ends
Posted: 3/15/2008 12:34:51 AM | I read alot of these posts and it seems to me there are alot of broken hearted people out here I say that in a joking way. I lost a lot of material things ,but those are minor and can be replaced in time. but agree the things that you lose on the inside and in the heart and drive to even look for a new love I wonder if they can ever truely be replaced???? if you go to a tatoo shop and have a broken heart wraped with barbed wire and put the words FLAT DONT GIVE A F _ _ _ !!! around it, Tatooed on your chest right where your heart should be does this mean you are down on love???? L.O.L. Well say hello to the guy that did that. and also say hello to the guy who still cant even explain WHY because now it makes it a little hard to explain when your with some one new,or if you ever decide to try it again!!! Is it just me or is it hard for anyone else to open thier heart and soul again to someone after things go so wrong the first time??? because you share things with a lover that you would not even dream of sharing with anyone else!!! Can a heart ever be broken more than once???? or is it that you dont let people in that far again and try and protect it after the first time . i was just kinda wondering who thought what. I been single now for 12 years and still aint sure if Im ready to share all my thoughts hopes and dreams and all my secrets with someone new!!!! Is there anyone out there like me ??? or am I the only one thats afraid to take that ultimite dive into love again????  | |
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| What is truely lost when a long term relationship ends
Posted: 3/15/2008 2:28:15 AM | I've been where you are right now. It's hard to believe at this moment, but you will get through this...and...you will find happiness and love again. I'm concerned that you've mentioned suicide more than once. Consider what that act will do to your children. If you can't shake the thought, go see your doctor! You may need some help in the form of depression medication.
A cyber hug sent to you! | |
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