| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/13/2007 9:11:10 PM | excuse me??
but if a guy contacts a woman with kids..he better have the balls...to back his actions!!
he started and accepted his move..not her!! dont bssss me on this trash. if a guy doesnt want a pre made family..then why even try to walk the friggen walk with no talk to back his manhood???
is easy!! stay the hell away from single mothers!!..or fathers when it comes to females.
you dont want the roll or intend to get involved with the moves...dont cross into it!!
how friggen hard is it to understand???
 btfw!! i parent my kids just fine..with no male in my life most times..i want a man who knows how to back himself and prove he deservess the title of a man!!...not a male.
my kids..as many other single mothers state......they got a father..wether good or bad.!!! i didnt choose a loser for my kid's father..and i wasnt given a option to his changes over time... i dealt with it and so are my kids.
they see the person he is,..and his loss..they dont respect him....not mine!! but bottom line is..i dont need any male to discipline..raise or take responsibility for them. i do that on my own as many other single mothers. we know our role and dont back down from the challenge...we got the balls to back us,..unlike most males.....either childless...or otherwise!!
take it as you will..its your problem to deal with ..not mine!! | |
|
| |
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/13/2007 9:15:32 PM | swtnjgirl.......
I can one hundred percent assure you....that simply because I never had kids of my own blood.....DOESN'T mean I don't know how to raise them......... and you can be as frustrated as you want....please....be frustrated..... I won't stop you......
If you don't think I already KNOW what an opinion like mine DOES to the fuming mindsets of single mom's everywhere, you would be sadly mistaken as well..... of COURSE I already know it's going to tick you off........ But see....I don't DO it to purposefully tick you off...or to get a RISE out of you..... I do it because, it's TRUE......
I can promise you this......I can actually put my money where my mouth is on this situation..... I'm that confident that I know MORE about what I can do WITHOUT having them....at the very least, EQUALLY as well....if not BETTER, than a lot of you can do WITH having bore them........
Perfect??? Hell no...... Nor do I ever expect a mother to be EITHER......
But I'm not the one asking the question AGAIN on here as to why it's so hard for a woman to find a guy who wants to DATE THEM!!!
So be FRUSTRATED..........!! And when you've gotten over the "HERE ME ROAR".....some of you might want to hear the answer that is meant to help you actually GET WHAT YOU WANT!!! That IS why you're here.......isn't it????
See how totally unselfish I am, even now????? At least I'm not here to merely 'shop the pooty'.......... | |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/13/2007 9:19:23 PM | 
mmm ok....moon...
walk the walk and back your talk..since you seem to know so much or know it all..as a single parent persay!!
your profile says..not dislcosed..over kids..
if you got kids...i would presume..you dont have custody,..since as a single father you got all the time in the world to date..since you dont have to waste your life/.time parenting them.
if they are living with you..then what gives you the right to put expectations on a single mother?? maybe,,you should now take your own advice and be a father..for how many more years there is..and not date..... it goes both ways deary!!!
omg@!! moon...
why did i know you would purr and run with your tail tucked??
lol | |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/13/2007 9:19:53 PM | piano, we should get out of here and go up to the tittie bar up the street, where the women are more sensible and kinder.
hear them roar?
no thanks sassy.. LOL.. you can roar to yourself and any man who wants to mess with you in the abyss of non reason.
:) | |
|
| |
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/13/2007 9:30:17 PM |  
ok piano..
this is funny now!!
no adult can ever say they know what its like raising a child..unless you have your own!!! step..foster..adopted..etc...is all different.....to different types of people.
i dont care..what adult..who doesnt have kids..24/7 for yr after yr..can ever say they know how to raise a specific 1 child..since all kids are different..every year they grow from the day of birth till they turn 18!!
no 2 kids are ever alike...it all depends on their life experiences daily..so thats not even a consideration on raising kids.
even myself..with 3 kids..can absolutely not tell..even close friends of mine..and their kids growing up..on how to deal with certain experiences!!(even when i have known the kids since birth).  my g/f has a teen daughter...and doing things,.i havent had to deal with..as my daughter just turned 14..her's is 17..i am no help to her..but i got a 25 and 18 yr old son.....she has a 18 yr old son..there i can give advice.
 easy understood..so dont give me the trash also..you know more than a 24/7 parent..just aint flying | |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/13/2007 9:47:56 PM | Let's back up a minute. Don't forget the OP said:
when he meets the kids and sees that they are not the easiest kids in the world to take care of
For a mom to admit "they are not the easiest kids in the world to take care of"... it really means they aren't! He saw that and he ran. NOT that he saw "kids" and ran, but he saw, aparently, what the mom sees too.... that they are difficult kids.
My concern here is... ok mom, what are you going to do for your children to help them, so that you can instead say "they are the apple of my eye and I'm so proud of them" vs. "they are not the easiest kids in the world"?
(Go ahead and jump on me, single mom's, if you wish. Can you please read my profile first? Been there, done that (single motherhood) and continued on to foster many other children.) | |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/13/2007 10:11:11 PM | ok..
we as parents all..have kids at one time or another that are unruly!! they do as they want and doesnt matter what we try ,. nothing works for a long time..but eventually we get it right and get the child under control again!!
it still goes to..if you dont want to deal with any child..dont get involved with a single parent!!
we all dont have perfect angels to raise.
my oldest was a demon child..i swear by it!! but i was still married through the worst of his hell trip. my ex's family....also raised many hell children as foster kids. friends of mine are foster kid parents and had i swear satan's re incarnation!!
one way or another!! it goes down to respect and how much you like or want with the person. if they are adult and mature enough..they will try to stand by the single parent if they want more with them and a possible relationship long term.
but its a cowards way out..if they run right away and not talking things out and saying why they dont think they can try for more.
not every person..wants the drama of a hard to handle child...which is fine....but dont just run and not say why they cant or dont want to try and deal with it.
i guess i have been lucky with any guy i dated...not 1 left over my kids...it always ended over us not being good together for whatever reason. but..i also have always introduced my kids to any guy i met...even if its just simple coffee meeting. i wont hide things from my children,,,or a guy i meet. | |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/13/2007 10:27:39 PM | msg 33
I would say to your concern...
that the parent should focus on the kids, even if it means not dating.. for as long as it takes... until she ( or he) can say they are proud of them.... as the kids live with them...... and a parent has a "RESPONSIBILITY" to put the kids needs ahead of their own.
For some ( ok many) it may mean to not date until the kids are 16 or even 18......
and stop looking to some man to come in and save them. There is help out there and people who specialize in parenting, asking a man your dating to accept kids that are rotten is not the way to go.
It would require a person to do the right thing and "parent" and put the focus there.... not diverting the situation by accepting failure as a parent... and EXPECTING a man to accept it.
| |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/13/2007 11:08:39 PM | I just want to clear this up with EVERYONE my children are NOT rotten, they are NOT bad, and they are NOT diffucult. My children ARE the apples of my eyes and I am Very proud of them. I used the words i used "not the easiest", only for lack of better words. The only thing that makes them not easy is that they are all still very young--5 years, 3 years, 2 years, and 7 months. It has NOTHING to do with their behavior at all. The not easy part is the ages, and that is it. So if any of you smart asses can tell me how to change their ages, go for it. Sorry. Impossible. And yes, we are a package deal, i am looking for someone to be there for the long run, i am not interested in someone who has no plans to stick around, so why wouldnt i be telling men that my children are to be accepted if they want to be with me. And being accepted does NOT mean that i want someone to raise my kids, they have their father for that, but they will be treated with kindness and compassion, and in no way will they be treated bad, just because the man doesnt want kids, that is why i say we are a package deal, so the man knows, upfront, that that is the way it is going to be. He shouldnt wait untill we have been dating for several weeks, then see that they are all young and close together, and then dissapear just for that. Now how can a person like that even be called a man!
And for those of you who think they know all about parenting, without ever having a child, when you can know what it feels like to hold your own offspring in your arms, to love a tiny little person more than life its self, then maybe you can understand why women do hold very high standards for any man that is trying to come into her children's lives, because if you want to be in the mother's life, well, her life is her kids!
| |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/13/2007 11:21:27 PM |
ok..but u r still avoiding what i asked...are u a single parent raisng kids with custody..or a non custodial parent?
my kids are my main concern as most single mothers...and to have some male say shit how our love life or romantic life needs to be put off over kids..is trash..since we are human and need more in our live than our kids can give us.
this is what makes me sick..non custodial male parents..who spout that trash..and think they know it all..give it up!! most women arent that stupid in life.
most women dont need the so called help you are spouting off on,...since it seems most are male anyways and dont have half a clue!!
sorry..moon..u r 1 screwed up male in your thinking!! i am a proud parent on how my kids have been raised..as a dual parent and a single parent..and you know....i am doing a lot of friggen better!! as a single parent and the pride i got in my kids. than i was with a so called spouse and father to my kids.
i was married and had a friggen devil child to raise married...my other 2 kids have been angels compared to him..raising them as a single parent. so takes lessons on the trash you spout over single mothers...before you dump your load!!
most single mothers are doing great raising their kids..than they were with a so called spouse and father to her kids!!
i dont need any 2 legged balless male to save me as most mothers dont...since if we had a man with balls,..,we wouldnt be single mothers..now would we and the kids would have a male roll model to be proud of????
never minding to ask a useless coward with 2 balls to walk in and accept most than he could even tackle on his own from the drips he deposited...to walk away from and live his life..as i presume you are as a single father!!!!
 i am anything near a failure as a single mother..i am a total winner with my kids.
but as i see it..you are the loser..since you think all males..are as weak and cowardly s you and not standing up to being a total non judgemental human...and needs time to learn what unconditional love is!!!! | |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/13/2007 11:31:35 PM | msg 36 only a fool would walk into a situation for long term right up front with a woman with all those little kids..... or someone who has 4 little kids himself. maybe you can find someone with 4 little kids of his own ? and you could blend families because most guys are not going to walk into a situation like that blindly or too quickly. Besides the lack of privacy, loads of extra chores involved, life planned around little kids and occuping them ( they do need supervison 24/7)... extra food and other expenses...
well that is not exactly a big draw for most men, more so when its not even their kids.
I suggest you get on some good birth control and maybe keep your search limited to single dads with custody of small kids.
I know for me, once around was enuf......... I may chat with a woman with kids but unless she really had her syhte together and her kids under wraps, well, forget it. I'm sorry to tell you most guys are going to have the reaction ( no calls, no email, no contact) that guy you met did. There are exceptions, but they are rare. Maybe its not your time to find the love of your life and you should focus with what the job at hand is instead?
ps, I looked at your profile and suggest you get your GED..... and start working.. get the basics down as no one is going to do it for you. also:
Your profile is an invite for a child molester... you should think about rewriting it.
| |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/13/2007 11:34:26 PM | moon!!
verymad:
aS i said!!
no male should even contact a female...if he is not ready to deal with kids!! its his choice and his move..do you not get this statement as of yet!!???
the female didnt ask him..he could of said no.....right off..when he heard she had children..so wtf??? is he so stupid he goes further....this is what the impression you are leaving over any male...dating a single mother. you are giving males a bad rap on your own..they dont need anymore help...than you are providing | |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/13/2007 11:55:06 PM | moon:
First off, I dont know whos profile you think that you read, but I am working on my Associates Degree. Thats College, if you didnt know, you usually have to have graduated or have a GED for that. Second, you have no idea on my financial situation, My children are well taken care of---by me. I am not asking any one to do anything.
Second of all, when a man goes into a relationship knowing that there are four children, knowing their ages, knowing everything about them, then dont you think the man should have been smart enough not to even get involved in the first place? Either you want that or you dont, it is not hard, a man should know weather or not he is willing to be with someone with children, and if he doesnt want it, then stay away, plain and simple.
And third of all, you seem to know a whole lot about child molesters and all, i am starting to wonder if maybe you arent one yourself. no where in my profile does it say come and touch my kids, so how do you figure it is inviting molesters? | |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/14/2007 12:22:45 AM |
. . .a man should know weather or not he is willing to be with someone with children, and if he doesnt want it, then stay away, plain and simple.
Perhaps the guy was sincere when he said he had no problem with children, however once faced with the reality of the situation, he discovered it was a bigger job than he was capable of handling (and it IS a HUGE responsibility). You are young, so I am assuming your boyfriend was near your age, and probably had little or no real experience taking care of a child, let alone four who are at an age that demands constant supervision and care. Your children are babies, so I highly doubt they are angry youths with chips on their shoulders that frighten suitors away. Honestly, I think your boyfriend had no idea what he was really signing up for, and once reality set in, he was scared by the enormity of the situation and bailed. It was an immature way to end things, but you’re better off in the long run. He was not the right man for you. | |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/14/2007 12:47:03 AM | Why are you even introducing your kids to your "man of the month"?
I've been out with a few guys and not one of them can say what my child looks like or what is real name is. Unless a man is talking marriage I really don't see the need to introduce him to my kid. | |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/14/2007 12:54:48 AM | I don't have kids of my own, and although I did help raise two step-daughters for 10 years and did quite well at it I might add, I won't get in the middle of this "debate". BUT...I do want to say that I applaud smileygurl36. Kids DO need discipling or they WILL be unruly and "rotten" kids. She also said:
Alot of people may not agree with whipin' and discipling but, I have gotten more compliments on how good of kids I have and to me that makes me feel proud.
I know that a lot of people these days do not believe in God or the Bible...judging from all the immorality in the world today...but even God said to not spare the rod when it comes to discipling your kids. Kudos to you smileygurl36...you have obviously done a fine job raising your kids .
And as for the OP...I have to admit that I took it the same way most everyone else did. It DID sound like you were saying that you have unruly kids. I know that you explained yourself later, which is good.
I'm 48 now and have no intentions in getting involved with anyone with small children, but even when I was younger...if I were to have met someone who had unruly kids that ran all over her, the relationship would have ended as soon as I realized how her kids acted. Actually would never even have started. | |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/14/2007 1:25:59 AM | ok/.......brown eyes.......i wont even comment on what i think of when i read your last postings.
if a penis on a first date if that important..then your child/children rate less!!
sorry,.,.a true mother has no hesitation...as i see of introducing her children to a new friend...a dating and prospective future mate is another total aspect...omg!!
my kids..were raised daily to new people....doesnt mean jack all!! any decent mother would introduce their child. to someone as a friend. kids dont need to know more..unless it means more.
i was involved,.with so many different groups..my kids had to know what it was about. where does it say....you have to tell a child it may be your future bed partner????
my kids..have always been told..i am going out with who ever as a friend!!..they dont need to know more...unless it was possibly more!!
wtf!! is wrong with society....kids need to be taught.....the difference of what level people are in their parents life..at that moment. between volunteer groups....cub..scouts....optimist..lions groups.....my kids were constantly.....meeting varius ages of people..kids or other adults.
no child..has to be told of your private/romantic life..but get your act together...it doesnt hurt for a child to meet a new person as a possible friend over time. my kids have always met whoever i was going out with right away....wether coffee or a date!! this way they knew where and who i was with..and could put a face to someone if things weeent bad. | |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/14/2007 2:00:58 AM | luv_me_plz
<div class="quote">Why does the perfect man always run after meeting the children?
You didn't state what the typical guy is that you meet. Are they ones who don't have kids themselves? Sometimes it is just the situation of what they can and can't tolerate. I have kids and sometimes I can't tolerate other's kids. It all comes down to how they behave, respect you, respect their parent etc.
I have two boys and have never had a problem with them and my relationships. My ex bf got along great with them and always told me I was a good mom. I recently heard from him and he told me he was dating this girl who had an obnoxious 5yr old he couldn't tolerate. He has a child himself. I agree with one of the other OPs...his intentions were probably sincere at first and he thought he would do fine with it. Then when it happened, he couldn't. Don't be mad at him. He tried. It is everyone's choice to choose to deal with something or not. It isn't a judgment against you, he just couldn't deal with the situation in the end. | |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/14/2007 5:51:37 AM | wtf moon ur having a laff wot planet u on cause it aint this one!!!!!!!!
a man advising women against men (wtf) so we r single parents, so we are now not aloud to have a life apart from bringing the kids up!
er we had help making the kids in the first place.
but yet we have to stay at home and have no social life, i do a fine job of raising my kids but i would like a bit of adult company is that so wrong. | |
|
| |
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/14/2007 8:48:40 AM | I'm with post 42... I dont meet women asking them to meet and know my kids quickly... in dating they are flavors of the month until you get to know someone which takes time... dating is dating, not marriage. Dating involves rejection and OP, you were rejected. I'd advise you to focus on your kids and stop looking for happiness outside yourself. You will make better choices that way.
remind me to read the OP's profile before I respond to these threads... some people will just never het it I guess. | |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/14/2007 9:27:18 AM |
I know for me, once around was enuf......... I may chat with a woman with kids but unless she really had her syhte together and her kids under wraps, well, forget it.
Obviously you've had a very bad experience in your own "once around"
There's no reason to bring your anger and hate into other people's lives.
My child is extremely well behaved,smart,confident and respectful--I wouldn't let anyone with your attitude anywhere near.
Get off your high horse--you're not perfect--not even close. You're ugly attitude matches the rest of you perfectly.
I was writing in another thread you were in and everyone was ignoring you--I thought yeah well his answers are way off the wall that must be why....but now I see it's your whole mind that's way off the mark--you suggested therapy or councilling earlier in the thread--you should take your own advice and go-you have deep unresolved issues that are overflowing out of your mouth. | |
|
| Single mom, match-finding problems
Posted: 4/14/2007 10:13:35 AM | Men are always told "the kids are part of the package" & its true. I have been in situations where I liked the woman,but the kids have a complete lack of disopline in there lifes. I have been in the situation where the kids are great & its the mother that needs to learn a thing or 2.
" The package" also includes me!!! If I mesh with one part of the pakage & not the other, lets just say there's no more packge... | |
|
Home
login 
