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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/14/2007 5:57:34 AM | BUT then if we all used common sense then it WOULD BE A BETTER WORLD and no I'd NEVER suggest anyone get married at 16! NEVER.
What we have to do is figure out a way to develop people's common sense. Yes it is underdeveloped in so many . Perhaps imagination should be thrown in the pot along with.
OP you are on a crusade and I wish you well and I will follow this thread and perhaps learn more from it for myself. Just realize there are no hard and fast rules. Everyone is different. Any women who attach the words "feminist" or "liberated" are an entirely separate kettle of fish and would consider much of what I said as ? too old fashioned. BUT you see I can be old fashioned as a modern entity and nobody would ever be able to make me less than I am! I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!!!! and a Leo also!
Oh by the way I can be as chauvinistic as any man, hey we (women) had great teachers for so much history!!!!!
I'll start a MY list of expectations. You'll be sorry (no you won't) for opening this Pandora's Box! Good luck everyone
OOOPS almost forgot. Good quality/quantity sex with lots of foreplay and reciprocity! | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/14/2007 6:11:48 AM | Whooaa, whoa, whoa, whoa;
No crusade, nope, not today, not tomorrow, not ever.
Easy there, I'm not looking for the answers to life, the universe,(say it with me now...) and everything.
Believe it or not, I'm pretty happy with who I am and where I'm going, I AM however confused on occasion. As are we all.
ONCE AGAIN. Ladies, what are the little things that you consider so simple and basic that every man should have learned them in the womb. The things that you refuse to even discuss; as you are certain that men act jerks or dummies just to get a rise out of you. The things that when you give him that death-glare you know he knows why he's in trouble!
This includes; something about dirty laundry, opening doors, giving bad compliments,forgetting names/dates/hairstyles/outfits, etc.
AGAIN! Not being a smartass over here! Really want to know! | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/14/2007 6:14:01 AM | The rules are simple. I make them and abide by them. She abides by them as well. There is no ESP, telepathy, mindreading, or clairvoyance.
I do what I will do, and she either likes it or not. If she doesn't, she explains clearly why. I then decide whether the relationship is worth a change in my behavior. Most of the time, I decide it isn't and I move on.
It's quite simple once you get the hang of it. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/14/2007 6:25:10 AM | Ouch!
I've been walking that path for years. It DOES cut down on the crap in your daily life, but the downside is that you have to constantly recycle the sex-interests in your sphere.
Consequently , I find that I have to distance myself considerably from my female aquaintances,(especially if I value their companionship) so as to diminish the chances of literally****ng-up whatever relationship we have. Unfortunately, they usually find my behaviour intriguing, and I am conspicuously lacking in self-restraint.
But AGAIN; we are getting away from the purpose of this thread!
WHICH IS:
Ladies!!! What are your ridiculously obvious rules that men just don't seem to abide by? | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/14/2007 6:58:44 AM | kbot:
Random Bob got it right. I've only half read the rest of the posts because as you asked it not to do it what it has done, gone into the realm of "gray" when you are asking for "black and white."
The best book I have read of late is Undressed. It's a book about celibacy in dating. I absolutely did not buy the premise as he's wrong no amount of "God" in a relationship can fix bad sex. Bad sex is bad, and it's not getting better. Best to find out before the ring, but that's his opinio. However, he does make some very valid points on gender roles and how we have gone astray. Best comment in the book, "women are looking for leaders and we're showing up as clowns"!
Read the book. Read the 5 languages of love. They are: touch, gifts, time, acts, words. I believe this is the book that every relationship therapist is recommending as every divorced man I know seems to have read it. What I believe from a woman's perspective is that we do "lean" toward a certain one or two, but what we "crave" is the one that was missing. Men read the book and instantly know I am that one and that one next. That's the problem, we want a shmorgashboard, gray if you will, men pick and it's clear black and white. Understanding your lady's top couple AND throwing in a few of the others on occasion would serve you well. That was what Random Bob was saying, figure out "HER" need and "fill it".
Your original question about your friend is an interesting one. I am dating right now, a lot. I constantly get asked when will you stop dating and concentrate on one person. Honestly, I have concluded when the one man knows the chemistry is right and leads. He puts himself in my life, cares about it, takes care of it, and leads us down that path. The other gents and dating will naturally fall by the wayside. That means you have to "lead", you have to talk. You don't ever let one moment of "pout" or "silence" or "frown" go away. You demand communication, you express yourself. You nurture until she's free and comfortable and "trusts" you. You make yourself "trustworthy". Now for the current dating field, fortunately I hope for the men I meet, I am clear, I have a remarkable ability to compartmentalize...I do say, "we have this issue, it would drive me nuts, and I would end up using it to destroy this relationship, let's be friends, or let's be buddy's."
The point is when the chemistry is right, I want the "moment" and the "full experience" with that person to see where it can go. I want the focus and attention to be as a real potential. This is where your friend was and what is hard for men to see. The problem for me and I'm guessing your friend is I'm not terribly good at pointing this out to that gent. Get it? I have no problem saying, "ain't goina work, let's hang out", but in the really important one can't say, "can't hang out unless it's goina' get real and true, you mean too much to me for that." It's taken me months to understand this and because of my personality it is still very hard to "say" but I'm getting there.
And, kbot, you're right, she was upset because she failed to draw the pic for the gent. He might not have responded the way she wanted, but he would have got the perimeters to do so. As a man, what do you take from all this? Back to Bob, pal, lead! Ask for clarification yourself! Get it out and on the table, and work from there. Work at it. Bumbling along AT something always accomplishes something, standing and waiting for the lightning bolt to strike the answer is just going to get you a lot nothing.
Cheers! Terri | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/14/2007 7:07:13 AM | Oh My God...
gtadaizee;
I always thought that I was raised right, my Mom was a nutty Nazi b!tch. But I've read through your post a half-dozen times now...
And I'm sorry to say, but I've spent weeks learning combos that stuck in my head easier than your expectations/hopes.
NOW WAIT!!!
I'm not saying what you want is wrong, or in any way a bad thing, just saying that some of the finer details,(such as modifications to my gallant bahaviour depending on your outfit) I honestly, probably couldn't get down to your satisfaction in a thousand years.
So in your particular case, if a gentleman;as we all, hopefully, try to be with a lady of quality;were to err on the side of caution/affection and open doors/etc. regardless of your apparel...
Would you take it as "Country Bumpkin" or "Sweet and Unrefined"? | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/14/2007 7:25:22 AM | Whoooooooooa!!!
We're not talking about my staff-member's misguided attempts at love in this post. Believe me, at work, we all gave that poor girl enough advice to garauntee that she screws up this relationship and her next half-dozen as well. At least, we all said the same thing basically,"Make sure he knows what you want. Especially if it's him!".
Strangely enough, I'm comfortable being the Happy/Hungry/Horny demon-dog that I am. I have great friends, we all keep in touch no matter how far we roam, and we all add new people to the mix every day. It's been a few years since I've met someone I've wanted to give my heart to, but what the he77, you can't win the lottery every day.
So now, if everybody is satisfied that I'm not looking for a free counselling session, let's get on with a free and open forum! Make me laugh and I'll return the favour!
Still looking for those Coda though, Ladies!!! | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/14/2007 7:34:33 AM | I don't know about everyone else but the one thing that I have found in my more "mature" years is that I appreciate a man that speaks his mind and in turn, allows me to speak mine with neither of us getting bent out of shape for being "overly honest". Like many of you have said, you have to ask for what you want to get what you want. Guys, you are at a great disadvantage, because women are taught from birth (although this is declining in our more modern times) to NOT speak their minds and to NOT share their opinions, especially to men who they might be attracted to or may be contemplating as a future "mate".
In our mother's and grandmother's times it did not always pay to be too smart, vocal, or independant when searching for a lifemate. Men didn't always appreciate that kind of behavior, they were looking for meek and mild women just like their own mothers(who were also taught to be seen and not heard). ...and we, as the daughters of these same women, have followed in their oh so silent footsteps. I have two failed marriages that I can lay solely at the feet of "poor communication of my needs". As I have recently turned 40 and find my second marriage coming to an end I have come to realize a few things...
1. Guys....be HONEST! If you are in it for one thing...say it! You may not get the first woman you're honest with, but you will eventually find one who is also looking for what you are looking for. Women...be HONEST! If you are also looking for one thing...then say it! If you want or need love...say it. If you want or need sex...say it! If you want or need someone who has a foot-fetish just like you...then damn it say it!! Don't sneak that crap in after you've already already established another pattern...don't lead someone on with romantic ideals and then tell them about your barnyard animal fetish after you've already set the hook! Not fair to you...not fair to them for sure and you need to realize that you are wasting valuable time that you could both be spending with someone who at least has a chance of making you happy.
2. Guys...If you ask a question, be prepared to HEAR the answer. We women take great exception to guys that don't LISTEN to our answers....and when I ask a question PLEASE do not tell me the answers you think I want to hear. If I'm still asking questions, then there is a pretty good chance I don't know you and you don't know me well enough to even GUESS at what answer I may be expecting or even wanting for that matter. For example I said to a guy that was chasing me pretty hard that it was just all about the conquest for him, that once he had me, he'd be done with me. He could have spouted all the usual crap about how that wasn't it at all, but his answer was one of the reasons that he is one of the most favorite people I have met...he said "Of course it's about the chase hon, I'm a guy and we are all about conquest. Now after the conquest....I won't predict. But I will tell you that if I've thought you were worth the chase, and the conquest is worth it to both of us, I'll be hoping you'll think I'm worth chasing back. " Not the most politic or diplomatic answer, but it was HONEST and I loved it. From then on I knew that I could say what I thought to him and he would always be straight and to the point with me. Manipulation and BS is a huge turn off--So guys, say what you mean and mean what you say even if it turns out not to be what that particular woman wants to hear.
3. Guys...if a woman seems to be pulling away from you there are usually three reasons why. 1. She doesn't like you...period. 2. She's afraid of her feelings for you(guys are not the only ones that have that reaction you know!!) 3. She feels that she is being manipulated and lied to or thinks she can't trust you for some reason. The answer??? ASK!! for any of the three reasons above she's probably not going to just come out and admit it without prompting from you. Just ask and she might tell you. Don't sulk away and feel the need to post a forum topic when all you have to do is say "why"? If it's because you chew with your mouth open, or you fart or you have bad breath she'll tell you or if she doesn't then she's not worth your worry now is she? Misunderstandings become catastrophes in the blink of an eye. Clear it up if you can or move on, but either way you at least know what went wrong and don't act bewildered the next time it happens.
4. Finally, guys.....just be a GUY! Don't hand us the lines about being a "true romantic" and liking "long walks in the moonlight" if you really truly like Nascar and Monday Night Football. Come on guys...we like you because, well...you're a GUY and not a girl! I mean, look at me....I look pretty girly right?? WRONG!! I guarantee you that I will be watching or participating in any sporting event I can and be yelling and screaming louder or playing harder than any guy that's there. That doesn't mean that I don't enjoy dressing up, acting feminine and taking long walks in the moon light...because I do..ALOT. But that has more to do with who I'm with and not just because I'm a girl and that's what girls are supposed to do. So guys...be true to yourself. You may have to put your hook in the water a little more often and grow a thicker skin, but in the end you'll be doing yourself and us women a huge favor by being yourself. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/14/2007 7:52:42 AM | Darlin';
I thank you from the bottom of my 3-sizes too small Grinchy little heart!
You've done a fantastic job of putting common sense into Guy-Speak! To tell you the truth, I'd appreciate it if you'd look me up and drop me a line. Think we'd get a charge out of it.
BUT AGAIN!!!
I'm NOT asking about the BIG PICTURE in this thread. I want to know the deal-breakers, the signs, the "obvious" milestones that, as guys, we routinely miss!
Don't snow me with philosophical hoo-ha! We're talking; toilet seat up, picking up the check, kissing your Mom on the cheek, picking you up from work with roses, picking our teeth at a familly reunion; kind of stuff here!
WHAT are YOUR deal-breakers? Not as a gender, but as an individual...
What are the things that you can't believe the idiots you date don't/can't/won't do? | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/14/2007 7:57:32 AM | | The biggest problem I've had is men assuming women are all playing stupid games. My ex always assumed I meant something other than what I said despite the fact I've always spoken my mind, I've never expected men to play stupid guessing games and we were together 12 years. So why would a woman bother being straight talking when men still always assume they're playing games? I'd probably do better with men if I did play pointless mind games. The men I know don't seem to be able to cope with a straight talking woman so I guess I can't win. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/14/2007 8:03:28 AM | works both ways
say what you mean
mean what you say
if you say you are going to fix the tub surround in my bathroom...JUST DO IT!!!
and have a sense of humor about the strange expectation that most women have that men can fix things like cars and plumbing
the phoning thing is kind of a mystery to me too
if you call right after a date to tell her you had a fabulous time, then you are stalker material
if you call the next day, you are still too clingy
if you call days later, you are not paying enough attention or you are playing games
if you don't call at all, then 
so, I guess, just call and hope she doesn't take it the wrong way and call the police
the sex thing, again mysterious...
if you don't at least talk about it or flirt a little on the first date, you are just not that into her or maybe you are a pig
if you don't try to at least kiss her by the third, again, not that into her or maybe you are a player
if you try for second base by the 5th, then maybe you are into her or you are just looking for a good pole greasing
if you run down the home stretch by the 9th date, then you want to get married or you are a player and probably married
confusing, BUT there is hope...
if we see you naked and don't run out of the room screaming with our hands over our eyes, that is a GOOD thing. We probably won't call the police in the morning from our cell phones as we are driving to work.
good luck and happy fishing | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/14/2007 8:08:32 AM | Okey Dokey then...
Crap whining aside, I've been emailed an entry from someone who is apparently over their limit,(?) for the day.
OOOOPS had this all typed, submitted it and I've filled my quota of 10 today!!!!!! GOOD LUCK IN YOUR ENDEAVORS and wish I lived on an Island!!!!!! >>>>>>>
GALLANT is an excellent concept! For me personally NO (resounding NO) would differentiate between country pumpkin (they'd for sure have the manners) or the city slicker (who may be toooooo smooth) Over being a gentleman can get on my nerves. So if he didn't open a door for me THEN I would let him know BUT in a nice indirect way like may a BIG Deal for opening a door for him (a sweeping gallant motion) AND if he did not say THANK YOU then he'd get YOUR WELCOME. I do that to complete strangers when I hold a door open for them & I don't get a thank you!!!!
If you did ironing, I'd take you on, I'll dig a ditch but won't do ironing,l a few ladies have covered the subjec pretty well. mmm don't put worn socks or underwear back on unless you just took them off! Don't leave your stuff lying around, pile it in a corner, I'm not picking up after you, don't snort when you laugh (oops I might), don't clear your oronasal passages and then spit, gee this is difficult, come over here and do all the disagreeable things that you think you do, & I'll tell you.
For sure help me with my coat on and off, pull out a chair but only a wee bit, pay sincere little compliments (like you are looking hot today). I don't know about did you get your hair done today BECAUSE they may not have! Just say you like their hair IF you do like it, ditto clothes & shoes, notice small things about them and speak up. IF they've lost some weight, ask them that BUT don't make a too big a deal over it.
This is REALLY hard to do because it is everyday we (well some of us) do so many things automatically.
HEY is a good one: Offer to clean the bathroom AND do a good job after all you probably have made a few contributions to it. Don't ever lose your sense of humor BUT if you do let it resurface ASAP. Ask if you can take the garbage out at her place and for heavens sake make sure you took it out at your place.
Have clean sheets on the bed, fresh towels out, have tea & coffee (no thank you for me), hot chocolate, something cool to drink OH and dark (high cocoa content) chocolates are not only brownie point getters, they are also healthy.
I think you have an imagination and I think that if you put yourself to this exercise that you are getting us to do for you, THEN you could come up with lots of ideas.
Oh right, hold my hand, definitely my elbow if its slippery. Hold my hand anyway IF I want you to that is. If I pull it away let it go. Hugs, never can get enough hugs.
Be considerate as several have already said and I reafirm what others have said there is no such thing as black or white. Sometimes you have to feel your way (something like a blind man with shiat in his eyes when he's up a tree).
THIS ALL MEANS that you have to be thinking all the time and time will come when you know the person's wants and needs & deal breakers and it will all be natural BUT then surprise her somehow or other. Women can be big sucks for their mate and you gotta play to that sometimes.
I have a sneaky feeling that you know all this and you are just trying to get people to think about it! It seems to me that you have some sense of humor and that you may pull leg on occassion. WARNING!!!!! if you
Don't know what the ending was going to be, but I'm willing to bet it's more interesting than,"WAAAAAAAAAHHH, I'm single, and have a really negative outlook on life, and the other gender(s?) should love me even though I hate them more than my evil twin...
You get the idea. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/14/2007 8:11:52 AM |
Somewhere out there, there HAS to be a woman that believes in dealing straight, falling in love, and being loyal.
This simply happens when you find the one that is truly and utterly compatable with you! It is purely fate - it is ment to be!! It happens then and only then!!  | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/14/2007 8:44:05 AM | What are the things that you expect a man to do automatically?
When my drink is finished he should bring me a new one.
When i finished eating the meal he cooked for me,he should bring me a cigarette.
When i put a cigarette in my mouth he should light it.
When i come back home from work the house should be clean and him waiting in the bed naked and hard.
I expect him to do all the work while I'm laying on my back...and I expect at least one orgasm.
When I'm done he should go look for the baby whipes and clean me.(and not forget the cigarette and lighter of course.)
Ah and a chocolate sunday would be nice too.
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Posted: 4/14/2007 9:11:31 AM | Holy CR@P!!!
badbadgirl
I'm pretty sure I dated your twin about a year ago. Except she was 6' and blonde.
But in all other ways you two are identical.
Sorry to rip on you, just the whole,"I'm hot;so I can BE a starfish" thing is even more irritating than crotch-crickets.
All joking aside; is that really what you expect men to do for you?
No right/wrong here, I still have a hard time dealing with the whole "Monkeys with Car-keys" thing.
Have yourself a good one, and tell your next victim that I wish him luck! | |
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Posted: 4/14/2007 9:17:03 AM | kbot7
It just so happens that I was having this conversation with one of my girlfriends just last night. She has the world's most perfect husband, and somehow he is still guilty of something that many of my ex-boyfriends have pulled in the past. THEY DON'T LISTEN. I don't mean to generalize, but it has truly been an emerging pattern I've noticed in a lot of men. Here's what I mean:
I'm not a woman who nit-picks. When you ask things like where do I want to go, what do I want to eat, etc., I will mostly likely say, whatever. I mean it, I really don't care or I would say I did. Now, if I DO express an idea, opinion, want, whatever, I MEAN IT. When you say this or that, and then later, it's obvious that the guy didn't respond accordingly, they say things like, "Oh, I didn't think you meant it." or " I didn't know how important it was to you." When you don't hear our opinions or ideas, we feel that's the equivelant to you telling us we don't matter. I'm not trying to throw rocks here, but you did ask, and this is sort of a mystery to me. Maybe you can provide some sort of insight as to a better way for women to communicate or something. It's like there's a mental block there.
Here's another, if a woman asks you to perform a small task once in a while, do it. Even if it's stupid and little, like, I dunno, check the oil when you borrow her car or take out the trash. I find that these things, (because they seem insignificant) are often blown off. This creates a trust issue. If you can't perform a simple task like, pick up the dry-cleaning when I ask you to, then how can I assume that you have any sense of responsibility at all? So I guess what I'm saying is, if a woman makes a tiny request, just do it. I'm not saying go buy her the diamonds she demanded, I'm saying that if you want her to believe that you are a trustworthy, grown up individual, then you have to show her, even if the requests she makes are not big. In fact ESPECIALLY when they are not big, because these are things that it doesn't take a lot of effort to accomplish, and by not putting forth that tiny effort, you are showing a serious lack of motivation to be responsible or dependable. This represents the big picture to us.
I hope I didn't rant. I'm not trying to be accusatory. I understand that you can't see forgetting to take the garbage out as a big deal. I can also understand why we have to discuss the same issue several times before you will remember my stance on it. I can see how it would seem unimportant to a guy, I'm just trying to provide some insight as to why it's important to us.
Hope this helps. | |
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Posted: 4/14/2007 9:22:08 AM | . Holy CR@P!!!
badbadgirl
I'm pretty sure I dated your twin about a year ago. Except she was 6' and blonde.
But in all other ways you two are identical.
Sorry to rip on you, just the whole,"I'm hot;so I can BE a starfish" thing is even more irritating than crotch-crickets.
All joking aside; is that really what you expect men to do for you?
No right/wrong here, I still have a hard time dealing with the whole "Monkeys with Car-keys" thing.
Have yourself a good one, and tell your next victim that I wish him luck!
lol I was just playing around ...Already have a man and I don't want him to be my slave... | |
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Posted: 4/14/2007 9:24:07 AM | Yup;
That's PERFECT!
I know Darn well, that when I'm caught up in a girl I spend so much of my time day-dreaming about grandiose ways to show my love that I miss the litle things.
WOW! I even managed to c0ck that up. Simply put, I want so much to show the huge romantic gestures that I probably gloss over the day-to day things that you're looking for.
Please get even more specific if you wouldn't mind. Reasonably sure that I'm not the only one taking notes here. | |
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Posted: 4/14/2007 9:28:21 AM | kbot, ALSO
I see you repeatedly saying that you're not asking about the big picture, and women repeatedly giving it to you anyway. Maybe we could all acknowlege the fact that the little things ARE the big picture to women, and if men understood the big picture, we wouldn't have to give you a never ending list of stupid little s'it for you to follow. It's frustrating, and quite frankly silly.
If you worked at a dildo factory and your job was to sort through, and throw out all the flawed ones, you wouldn't run to your supervisor and say, "What abou the one with three balls? What about the one that's got two heads?" You would just do it because you get the BIG picture....you follow? If you did run to your supervisor with all this stupid little crap he would fire you. Thus the woman will eventually get tired of reiterating the same thing over and over and just move on. | |
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Posted: 4/14/2007 9:45:47 AM | Should the guy have known that she was interested? Of course! If a girl gets the courage to ask to "hang-out", then she is definately sending the signal that she's interested. Culturally it seems taboo for a girl to ask out a guy, so she's opening the door.
In small words; what are the things that you girls think that we should do as automatically as breathing?
I'm glad you brought this subject up, as it is quite frustrating sometimes that men just don't seem to "get it"! lol
The basics of course are the attention...call or email - let us know you're thinking of us, even if you don't have time to talk (Hi! Just running out the door, but wanted you to know I was thinking of you! Have a great day!) This puts a smile in anyone's heart.
For me, another basic is touching - caress a cheek, rub a neck, hold a hand, touch an arm as you pass by.
Next, is to remember that eyes say alot - do your eyes match what your mouth is saying? (Does this really need more explanation?)
If you're gonna be late, let us know. Cell phones are great inventions that allow this open, instant communication. Personally, I'm a very understanding person, however, I have no patients for waiting. I believe on being "on-time"...can you walk into your job 5 minutes late?
Remember that ladies need to talk - that is how we work things out. We don't want you to "fix" the problem. Don't offer up solutions unless we ask for one. Instead comments like "I'm sorry to hear that", or "How did that make you feel", or "What happened next" -- and at least look like you're interested! lol
I'm sure there are tonnes more "no brainers" that ladies just expect you guys to know...ladies? | |
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Posted: 4/14/2007 10:55:58 AM | kbot...you are trying to make this too simplistic...and its not simple in any way. It all depends upon what the women is looking for in a man. If a woman is just looking for good sex and the guy has a 10" schlong and knows what to do with it....then what's a little fart, belch, public scratch, or bad toliet seat manners amongst friends? But...take the same guy and if the women is looking for a mate, someone to father her children, someone to take to dinner parties and introduce to her friends...then I'm pretty sure he's going to the curb fairly quickly. There is no hard and fast rules as to what makes or breaks a guy as potential date material...you are looking for a needle in a very large haystack my friend.
But if you want specifics...I'll give you a few of my own pet peeves(which may or may not apply to anyone but me):
1. You must be intelligent...be able to type a paragraph that is understandable, with a fair grasp of the English language and the ability to at least spell the word intercourse if that is what you are asking me for. If you can't do that, then I'm pretty sure holding a conversation with me is going to be more than your brain will be able to handle. So spare me and yourself the pain...because it won't be worth the effort.
2. The inability to elaborate on an answer if I ask you to is another that gets me. "Fine", "OK", and "I guess" are not acceptable answers to a question that it takes more than 6 words to express. Tell me like it is or I will be p'ssed.
3. As expressed in my profile...if you feel the need to call, come by or phone me multiple times a day just to see what I am doing, then please step back because one of us is about to get hurt(and it won't be me). Have a life outside of me...because I will have one outside of you, and it doesn't require your presence 24/7 for me to still care for you or think about you.
4. If you think I'm special enough to spend time with, then please treat me that way. I expect to be treated well...good food, some manners and most of all a lively and humorous conversation goes a long way in making Tami a happy girl. Believe me, you do not want to see the other side of me...there is nothing "special" about it.
5. Kiss me like you mean it. Not like you are trying to get in my drawers, but like you just can't wait to find out what I taste like. ...and please keep most of your saliva to yourself. If I have to use a handkerchief to wipe spit off my nose, chin or cheeks "Date #1" will quickly become "The final date". Kissing is something I take VERY seriously and am very passionate about it, so a hit and run is probably not going to get you very far with me.
6. First and foremost though...know how to treat me at appropriate times...(and this is not nearly as vague as you may think). If we are out to dinner treat me with respect and caring...now if on the way to dinner I was whispering in your ear, stroking your leg and glancing down at your trousers, a little discreet grope under the table will probably be well received by me...if I didn't do any of those things, then a grope will probably tick me off...so see..pretty clear isn't it. Groping me in front of my parents, your parents, my boss or at church is not acceptable at any time. I give very big signals when its time for the groping to commence, or I just start groping you...by all means just think before you grope...its really not that difficult. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/14/2007 11:31:11 AM | If you only want women to answer this you should post in Ask a girl.
On a simple and basic level every woman wants the same thing every man wants. That is someone of the opposite sex that has all of the virtues of our own sex.
That is the ideal we establish after our first relationship failure.
Then we outgrow it.
I suspect you will never get an answer to your question Op because it looks like you already know a lot about what you want to hear. Others have pointed this out already.
For my part I have long ago given up expecting people to always be direct. There are just some things I am going to have to develop esp for. I look at it as a test. Besides, I suspect that there is a secret agreement between women not to tell us directly. If one of them does the others are duty bound to hunt her down and kill her. | |
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