| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/16/2007 3:50:02 PM | I have done this..... and we don't look because we don't want to turn on the lights and wake ourselves further thereby waking YOU up when we return to bed because we are now restless......
This is NOT, I repeat NOT a nice feeling! | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/16/2007 4:26:21 PM |
The problem is not that men don't communicate its that women overcommunicate. Look at the length of the average female post here.
Or, we're writers and suffer from verbal diarrhea...
I haven't had this much to say in oh, I don't know how long!! I just can't stop myself... and neither can anyone else for that matter lol, so, I'm gonna keep goin' with MY rambling, looong posts!  | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/17/2007 9:26:46 AM | We want to get married, have children, and mind blowing sex. We want to think we are the only woman on the planet that will turn you on. That your eyes are only for us.
If we ask you to hang out it means you might be phucking material and we expect you to pay and open the door and all that jazz.
NOW....that's the basics...the problem is our mother. Yeah, our mothers. Because whatever the mother said to the daughter is the perception she will have of relationships for the majority of her life or until fate interceedes and busts the bubble.
Can you believe there are still women that refuse to give a blow job because their mothers said that good girls don't do that.
How many mean beat the dog shit out of a woman because his dad did it to his mother or female companions.
I say this because as a parent we should do a better job of introducing by example, the gives and takes, ups and downs, ebbs and flows of a relationship. So your child will not become grown and continue the cycle of crazy expectations we all have in a relationship.
So there is no cookie cut answer for what a woman wants or expects.
Just ask her. And if she can't tell you then she is not the one for you. She hasn't learned to communicate....
Diva | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:26:04 AM | The basics for me personally (and not necessarily in this order):
~ When out with him, he's not constantly checking out other girls and/or making comments about them
~ When out for dinner and the waitress is hot and batting her eyelashes at him, he flirts back and makes me feel invisible
~ The ability to have a heated discussion without it turning into a name calling, derogatory, personal attack on each other = maturity
~ Covering your mouth when you cough or sneeze. I actually had someone turn to me on purpose once to sneeze on me cause he thought it was hilarious... NOT
~ Definitely... cheating is a no no... physically or emotionally
~ Keeping in close touch with / seeing their ex's frequently
~ Having a sense of decorum and manners when meeting friends and family
~ Being honest (not rude) if asked 'how do I look?' and it's not great... helpful suggestions go a lot farther than 'fat'. 
~ Knowing when to drop a subject... and knowing when not to
~ Not doing embarrassing things when out in public together i.e. being rude to people, loud and/or obnoxious
~ Having compassion and tolerance ... not being judgemental (which is different from having an opinion)
~ Not having to be asked all the time to help clean up, take the garbage out etc.
~ Doing little things for no reason... just because ~ a note, a phone call etc.
~ Doing what you say you will when you say you're going to do it
~ If living together, having respect for each other... i.e. if one needs to go to bed cause they work early in the morning and one is staying up, turn the friggin tv/music down
~ To follow up with ^ statement... having respect for your neighbors too if you live in close proximity (apartment / condo etc).
Those are the few that come to mind off the top... I haven't read the whole thread and I'm sure there are more. I really don't think that any of these things are huge expectations, but just the values I grew up with and 'thought' were common sense rules to live by. It's not rocket science... but I'll be damned if it doesn't seem to be sometimes. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/17/2007 11:41:04 AM | to Mriendeau: Your comment on people who use the word commen sense is ridiculous. A few months ago I asked someone "have they stopped handing out common sense to people when they are born?" My comment came from seeing VERY LITTLE COMMON SENSE EXHIBITED TODAY IN ALL ASPECTS OF LIFE. That's for another thread. The answer to my question was "yes they still hand it out but it is not developed in people today".
When I say it is common sense it is usually a general expression &/or a specific referral to something that should be clear as glass to anyone who has a thinking brain and uses it to think with. That's all, no more no less. With your attitude about the use of the words, I wonder what your take is on common sense BUT I don't really want to hear it.
i.e. you don't need to be a member of MENSES, nor even an Einstein who had attention deficit disorder to exhibit common sense. Either you have it and use it or you don't use it, it is not redundant nor meaningless.
Yes I'd rather you left the seat up than leave it down and get spray, whatever on it. I always wonder why this irritation to some women doesn't involve the toilet lid. Leaving it up is NEVER an issue. I guess some would get ticked off if it was left down and they didn't see it!!!!!! FUNNY
OH HERE is a bit of statistical hygienic fact. Do you know that urine can bounce up to 8 ft and THAT is why you should never leave your toothbrush or false teeth next to the toilet!!!! NOW THATS EVEN FUNNIER | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/18/2007 11:22:23 PM | Little things that I personally like/appreciate (but don't expect him to know):
-little love notes, or emails every now and then...they don't have to be long
-fixes something around the house, in the yard, or on the vehicle (that's an attractive male quality)
-give me a kiss, and say "I love you before bed", or phone before bed
-hold my hand in public
-smile at me from accross the room
-hug me if I'm having a bad moment, or day
-introduce me as your gf, and sound proud of it
-cuddle while watching t.v.
-if I fall asleep on the couch, bring me a blanket
-if there is a percieved threat while out in public put himself between me and the percieved threat (make me feel safe, and protected)
-support, and encourage me about my career decisions
General things I dislike, or find offensive include:
-at least pretend to like my family, and don't talk badily about them...just listen if I complain, lol
-don't lie about the big things (little white lies, not so bad)...use common sense
-don't cheat
-don't make me feel stupid about something that I find important simply because you don't
-don't scold me if I make a mistake, simply point it out in a kind manner
-when making major decisions make sure we are both involved in the process
-generally treat me as you would like to be treated | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/19/2007 12:36:03 AM | Sorry Gang.
Definately chuckling. Love watching folks get worked up. You all just keep on having fun. I'll keep taking notes. Just as soon as I actually get through all these posts.
Who figured it'd get this busy?
I've been busy packing. Taking off for the summer. Came back and found all this!
Hope you're all enjoying yourselves! | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:25:06 AM | So, if a guy were to summarize all the Ladies responses on here. Would it be fair to say women are like Cat's; Pay attention to them when they WANT attention and the way they like you to pay attention to them, otherwise leave them alone. Study behaviors and responses to learn the whens and hows this can be done satisfactorily. Add to that the golden rule and I think you basically sum up the majority of the responses which I found quite enlightening.
Kevin | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/19/2007 8:02:50 AM | One thing I forgot to ask;
GTADAIZEE, you meant MENSA, right?Too scary to contemplate otherwise.
There really ARE some helpful posts on here. I used to think that I was moderately well behaved. A lot of this stuff has never even occurred to me.
Who knew that doing No.2 in the same room as her hairbrush was considered offensive?Just not something that leaps to mind, then again I DO shave my head.
So Guys, is any of this stuff ringing any bells for you?I know there's a couple of posts that had me going,"So THAT'S why she was so pissy!".
And Ladies, keep 'em coming, has anyone gotten around to Dining etiquette yet,(you know, open-mouth chewing,elbows on the table, feeding the family pet) or how about more bathroom rules,(which products are we allowed to touch and how we go about recognizing them, who's allowed to pee in front of whom and when and where, or what should be left in plain view).
And I'm just gagging for one of you to tackle the whole evolution of commitment angle. Someone mentioned something about 3 months. Is there actually a timeline I'm supposed to be following here? Gotten in deep doo-doo a few times that I'm sure had something to do with my lack of ability to realize that the girl I had been dating had mysteriously morphed into my Girlfriend, without Cc.'ing me about the blessed event.
I think that should keep everyone going for a bit. Once again, we're not drawing the Circle Of Life here folks. Not one single cartoon lion should be telling us about the vague yet meaningful nuances of deep emotional contact.If I was able to comprehend the mighty forces at work in the female mind I never would've started this whole shebang in the first place.
Just try to accept the fact that if you can give us clear and concrete directions we will try to follow them out to the best of our ability.Unless we get hungry.Or someone hotter with a shorter list comes along.
What can I say? I'm a slave to my baser instincts. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/19/2007 8:39:59 AM | SORRY YES! oooooooooopppppppppppppsssssss where is the embarassed icon!
I reread it too!  This silly thing is going to tell me this is too brief. BUT I want to be brief for a change!!!
No time line, if I like someone, I like somone and as I am a 1 man woman I don't need guidelines. At my age LIFE is NOW | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/19/2007 9:20:44 AM | One little thing that I DON'T get...
Usually, when I'm dating someone, I can't get out of the house without being SHOWERED with lists. Shopping lists, To-Do lists, itineraries, etc. What's with the resistance now? Where's this innately mad tendancy to itemize everything gotten to?
Or is this another one of those rules you're all duty-bound not to share without the others hunting you down, (LOVED that one by the way, made lemonade come out my nose)?
Seriously, I've had to sit through 10 minute dressing-downs while everything that I've done in each reincarnation was dredged up St. Peter style. So, I KNOW that you girls hang onto this stuff, here's the time and the place to put it out there.
Someone mentioned a contract detailing do's and don'ts or each level of engagement? BigHotBlonde I think it was. Let's have it Babe! | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/19/2007 11:11:51 PM | | Hey Kbot7, a relationship is best formed by 2 people with simmilar goals and wants to form some future dreams. Two People who TALK about how each of them would like to be treated and related to. Honesty goes a long way hon! Maybe try to figure out what you want and don't want and then you can express this to your friend or friends or what ever the case my be, and well you might be surprised how easy things can be... - not like we have a rule book for you guys either - just a bunch of mish mash that really doesn't fit for most... good luck with your self exploration - GO DEEP and put some feeling in it.... | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/19/2007 11:36:20 PM | Now what about any of this made you think I was looking to spelunk the deepest, innermost recesses of my being?
I'm not interested whether you think I fit into your spiritual matrix.
I want to know whether or not you think a guy should walk between you and the street. Or if you think that the toilet paper should be unrolled from the top, or from the bottom.
Once again, put down the Big Book of Taoism, and tell me the specific things that Men should, or should not be doing, in day-to-day dealings with their objects of interest.
Just to be really clear, I'm reasonably sure that I'm not dating any of you ladies, so we can safely assume my thread is not the subject of conversation here. Please feel free to post an, "I can't believe that Kbot7! How DARE he try to get straight answers out of a Woman? Doesn't he know that we're mysterious, delicate, blossoms; that will scratch his freakin' EYES out if he doesn't just toe the line and accept us as his personal Saviors?" thread. I solemnly SWEAR that I'll read it religiously, and try to give you every opportunity to expand upon it while shooting your blood pressure into the stratosphere.
I'm not interested in how to save the duality of my psyche, or rearranging the universe so that I understand the blessed joys of a menstrual cycle. I just want to know the concrete minutiae that goes into not getting the rollover at the end of the day.
Like, how am I supposed to know exactly who all is exempt from the dreaded,"Tell anyone that calls, I'm not home, Honey"? | |
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