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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/20/2007 1:36:49 AM | How DARE he try to get straight answers out of a Woman?
What makes you think we are not giving you straight answers? Just because they are NOT what YOU want to hear does not make them any less credible. Open your eyes and ears OP. Pay attention, you might learn something instead of trying to do the stupid little idiotic things that really, in actuality ,would not matter; focus on things that would. We cannot give that to you, that is inside you not us. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/20/2007 2:12:40 AM | You:"innie"
Me:"outtie"
Now that we have that little misconception cleared up, what say we stop singing "Kumbyah" and get back to MY question.
I haven't ONCE asked for the building-blocks to a successful relationship. This isn't really the place that I'd be asking even if that was my goal.
(Sigh), why is this so difficult? C'mon ladies, I've been a Bartender (can't wait for THAT penny to drop) for years. I see positive gaggles of women cackling and clucking ad nauseum every day about how insensitive, dense and inconsiderate their menfolk are.
And they aren't whingeing, (love that word, thanks) about how these guys just can't seem to get the right inflection into their Gregorian chants down at the Ashram. Nothing touchy-feely about it, somewhere out there some poor **stard is getting the silent treatment as we speak because he didn't know that "they" had a song.
So, I'm here, I'm listening, let's go. Just answer the question that I've put to you. Not the one that you wish I would've asked. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/20/2007 2:43:59 AM | I'll probably be the first to admit this, but we're all a little crazy. Woman think way too much and over analyze every action. If he doesn't call when he says he's going to - well he must be up to no good. If he say's he has to work late - he must not be that into me or he'd be making more of an effort. The sucky thing is that there usually is a very good explanation, and we just screw everything up by over thinking. Where as men tend to go with the flow, thats probably why its not the men over reacting in public and having mental breakdowns.
I'd like to suggest being open on all levels of communication, but that may very well back fire as well.....we'd think you were being too aggressive, sappy, or moving too fast!
Over analyzing is definetly my evil....I am trying very hard to over come this by always asking whats on my mates mind - this way my brain doesn't run off into some crazy scenario.
What can you do? Ask alot of questions - and always compliment the girl. Tell her how good she looks, how much you like her smile, etc. Be open and honest with your own feelings and share them with her. There are many times when a guy truly does like a girl very much - but never actually tells her. Don't assume she knows because she'll just think your not into her or just there for the sex. You'll know if she's into you by the way she re-acts. A little shy receiving the compliments but highly flattered, she'll be happy that you call her every day or every other day - may even wait for your call (but she'll expect it after awhile, so don't stop and screw it up), and the most important thing - if you think for one second that you've done something to offend her - send her flowers at work or a nice text letting her know that your thinking of her. If she appreciates the above, you've likely got her roped in!
Sorry for such a long reply, but I could go on for hours about this sort of thing.......I know what makes me happy, I just need to find someone that does all this without having to be told to do it. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/20/2007 3:10:08 AM | "I know what makes me happy, I just need to find someone that does all this without having to be told to do it. "
I swear by all that is holy I almost considered chucking it all in and becoming a shepherd when I read that.
I still can't believe it, I'm just sitting here; staring at it... It's truly a marvelous thing. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/20/2007 3:24:20 AM | I mean that I've just seen something, that in it's own way is as perfect and fantastic a creation as a Unicorn. Or maybe an actual visitation by God.
Something so absolutely alien to my mind and yet incontravertably real that I can't wrap my head around it. To try would be to sacrifice my own sanity.
Madam, you have given me a gift like no other; you have summed up in one sentence what men have feared since the dawn of time. And what I was trying to avoid by starting this thread in the first place.
But I can see now that there was no sense in trying to hide from facts. There is no salvation from such a dreadful foe as the feminine mind. Anything capable of bringing such wondrous and terrible constructs into the world is worthy, no, demanding of absolute fear and awe.
You leave me a humble, broken...nay, a shattered wreck of a once proud man.
I am defeated. I go now to seek my rest. Do not search for me; I am as one already gone into that good night. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/20/2007 9:26:42 AM | Not a definitive list by any means, but.....
The man should hold a door open for her.
The man should walk her to her car, front door, or apt. building lobby.
The man should walk on the street side of the sidewalk.
The man should allow the woman to walk ahead of him following the host to their restaurant/bar table.
It's really all about showing her respect and concern for her safety.
There seems to still be some confusion over who pays on a date. Some think (men & women) that the person who does the inviting is the one to pay. My friends and I have a bit of a different outlook. The man pays for the first date. He's usually the one to ask first, so. The woman can pay for subsequent dates, taking turns, by inviting him to her home for dinner, or something public that is affordable for her. Bowling, for example. I'm making the assumption of an income differential that usually exists ie; men often earn more or have more disposable income.
Paying for a date is also a measure of respect.
Without knowing the particulars of the woman's situation you write of, it seems that she came to develop feelings for a man and those feelings weren't reciprocated. That's rarely easy to take. Very few rejections are. If the man was clear that the feelings weren't reciprocal, then bravo that he respected her enough to say so.
Has this been helpful? | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/20/2007 8:15:26 PM | Thanks for playing Ravenwo7.
There was no specific situation/woman. It was more of a general thing.
Sorry, I'm still crushed, I seriously still can't believe that line I quoted. It was exactly what I have been talking about all the way through. Did she not remember the NAME of the thread? The worst part is that she was being so pleasant...she MEANT it!
It just took the wind right out of me. I feel like I was getting ready for a match and my corner-man gave me a huge thumbs up; then promptly kicked me right in the nuts.
Up until that point I was enjoying myself thoroughly. Really digging most of the posts, enjoying the various points of view. But that, that, whatever-the-he77-it-was... I'm not kidding, it may seem like a small, innocuous, amusing line; but the problem, and it is a legitimate, very real problem; is that some people actually think that way. How the double-blasted, confloundered heck is anyone ever supposed to be able to meet anyone halfway when they are met with very real expectations of ESP?
Now, honestly, I'm not trying to hack on anyone here. I know it may sound like it, but it's SO not my intention. I just feel like I've spent all this time trying to make sense of things, (and I'm not referring to the thread here) just to have it reaffirmed that I may as well try to reinvent the Philosopher's Stone so that it produces nothing but raw liver. The point being that I'd rather light my own a$$ on fire than eat raw liver.
I mean, if that is the reality, then why bother even trying?
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/20/2007 11:51:26 PM | Kbot, darling, I think you really might want to check out the sheep angle again! You could actually have a whole herd of them (i.e. a "harem" if you will) and they aren't smart, but they really are kind of cute. You won't ever have to explain to them why you didn't put the seat down, or why you stayed out all night, or came home drunk.
They won't require that you eat raw liver--my esp must be pretty bad because some how I never did get from ESP to raw liver but maybe my ESP is so bad, I just ask for what I want and communication seems to be the best way to get it. But maybe that's what I'm doing wrong, just being up front and honest...oh, well...if you find the Unicorn, let me know. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/21/2007 12:23:34 AM | Yo Ox!
I've always wanted to say that. Very 1950's John Wayne Movie-ish. The sheep thing sounds better and better.
As for asking for what I want, I think we've all seen how well that turns out, may as well whistle into the wind. Especially when what I want are quantifiable concrete answers to direct questions.
Thank you to all, I had fun with this, thinking that I might try to amalgamate the recurrant and more interesting answers into some sort of survival manifesto.
Unicorn's are wasted on me, eventually I break out the kebab forks. | |
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babs3
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Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 114 | |
| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/21/2007 4:41:32 AM | To kbot,
I am not sure I should be telling you this.....( i am probably gonna get kicked out of the club!)....but....us women...know we are unreasonable sometimes..and have absoloutely no control over that feeling....but even then, no matter what.....at that point....we are right!
Okay....I know that didn't make any sense to you....so I will put it in point form so it is easier to digest!
-women like confident men....not****, arrogant men!
-women like men who can take control...not be "in" control
-sometimes women need a man to say "no" and deny unreasonable demands we may make (*unless of course we really want what we are demanding!)
- we hate it when men try to fix all the problems we have.....sometimes we are only venting and need a good listener!
-Don't stop opening doors for us....we really like that!
-Don't stare at the tv when we want to have a "talk"...at least pretend you are listening!
-Never send flowers on the schedualed holidays....(it's cheezy)...instead send them on a rainey monday (for eg.)
-If your gonna lie about something...anything...do your research....because women have very detail oriented minds....and we remember everything...
- If you get caught checking out another woman while out on a date.....point out her flaws only!....(and would be a good time to score points by making a compliment to the gal your with)
-Don't make us sleep in the wet spot....
this last point....I can't stress enough....
-try to keep it in the bowl when you are peeing!....and for god's sake...put the lid down after your down!...
So I think I have given you some of the basic answers to your question....lol....
I will say that the best approach to figuring out women is to accept what you will never understand!.....believe me...I have had alot of question about men that I haven't found answers too!...........good luck! | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/21/2007 9:25:49 AM | KBot,
I am truly sorry if I threw you off, but I was absolutely being honest. I know men do not have ESP, neither do woman. And yes I really do wish that I could meet someone that new all the right things to do or say, I also know that will never happen. I don't believe wishes come true otherwise I'd be outside right now kissing every frog in site! This is the exact reason why I am so honest and forward about what I am thinking, I would like to meet a man that listens to my wants and needs and takes action. I am a good listener and try my best to take action with any man I am involved with so to speak.
And yes, I did read the name of this thread that is why I gave suggestions to you about what to look for, do etc. I was just making a point of mentioning that I personally wished I could meet someone that did everything right, again I know that will never happen.
Again Kbot, I am sorry and don't give up, based on what I've read you seem like a great guy and very committed to finding someone that is right for you - I'm sure you will. Don't take what I say to heart, I'm sure my attitude is a big part of why I am still single. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/21/2007 9:44:52 AM | Sit still, don't fidget or squirm
Check me out but politely look in my eyes when I'm talking to you
Offer to pay but let me if I offer and it's my turn
Drive like a grown up, not a kid or grandpa - smooth
Smell good
Work out
Talk straight but without aggression
Pause before you answer to something you disagree with
Learn to dance - and lead now and then (dead turn on for me)
Open the door if you like - it's just NICE
Insist on paying if you want to
Be cool
Be hot
Have soething to say or just smile and listen but don't BS just to sound like you know something that you don't
Ask our opinion sometimes and listen to the answer
Teach me something - gently but with skill ( I'll love you for it)
stay out of trouble with the cops
don't stalk on line or anywhere
let me know you find me sexy but make sure you find something to compliment about my personality too pls or get lost
keep your house clean so I can avoid stepping on crud when I come over and romp all over it with you
dress nice
floss
smile
be yourself
laugh at me when I'm acting dumb
let me be supportive when your down - don't pretend it's cool when it's not - I can handle it if you need encouragement sometimes
give me props when I deserve it
accept a compliment from me by saying "thanks, nice of you to say so"
don't come on too strong when you're not getting signals in return
sit back and let me come to you sometimes
chase me - at a slow confident sexy walk - and make sure you're smiling
don't brag about money
don't talk about your exes too much
ask me to dance
dance when I ask you to pleeeeez
as me to brunch
tell me I look great in high heels
tell me I look great in jeans and an old T
let me tell you you are hot
let me be openly sexual without feeling emasculated
sit back and let me jump sometimes
then pin me down and take over
let me tell you you butt is made for biting without freaking out
let me be me
I don't know what else to say but I'm told I'm atypical so just ignore all my advice
I would suggest that if it seems complicaed with a woman then you should go find someone who doesn't play games | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/21/2007 6:52:10 PM | Outtie, 
Up until that point I was enjoying myself thoroughly. Really digging most of the posts, enjoying the various points of view. But that, that, whatever-the-he77-it-was... I'm not kidding, it may seem like a small, innocuous, amusing line; but the problem, and it is a legitimate, very real problem; is that some people actually think that way. How the double-blasted, confloundered heck is anyone ever supposed to be able to meet anyone halfway when they are met with very real expectations of ESP?
Stop seeing it so one sided, and look at it as meeting in the middle so to speak getting the same from her back to you. I happen to think what the other poster thinks but I also realize, as I think she does too, that IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN lol Not unless I want a mindless, subservient twit and that I do NOT want. The most we can hope for is to find somebody that is willing to get to know us, as individuals, and go that extra mile for us with our little idiocincracis (sp?!) and give to us what we can give back to that certain man with whatever his idiocycrancies (sp-goddess I can't spell that word today sorry!) are to make him happy.
~Innie
Now that we have that little misconception cleared up, what say we stop singing "Kumbyah" and get back to MY question.
I was answering YOUR question | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/21/2007 8:49:42 PM | I hold fast to my earlier post about women being like cats. You never know what they want and they are all different. Besides the basics of hygene and good manners, I'm thinking us guys just have to be more alert and be ready to react when we see what is happening. yep, cats.....
Kevin | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/21/2007 9:08:31 PM | Dearest OP: I think you have gotten many of the replys you did based on your tone of post. One of the rules is "If you ask a stupid question you get a stupid answer". However antagonizing most of your posts here are, I will answer. No I am not a woman, but one of the "rules" here is posts must apply to men and women. Obviously you are a man who likes rules, so be it.
Dude, who told you there were "rules"? A relationship takes two healthy people. If either one is more crazy than sane, the relationship will flounder. Some people may not like to read the following but: Some people shouldnt be in relationships. They certainly, should not have kids. But we cant do much about that except support a billion dollar social services department in each State.
Maybe two healthy souls have started dating...if they really click...and ARE IN THE SAME TIME AND SPACE, then a LTR may result. You need to keep WORKING ON YOUR OWN CHARACTER, while you continue to date, and may eventually meet a compatible healthy soul (mate). | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/21/2007 10:35:00 PM | If something is like something else then that must mean they share similar qualities or traits.......yes or no?
I've dated a number of women over the years and not one has ever brought me a dead bird or mouse as a gift. I've never seen one use a litter box or stare for hours upon end at a fish in a bowl. I never had a woman go into heat and howl in my back alley at 3 am. Women don't react to catnip. They don't try to climb the curtains. They don't come running to the kitchen when you bang a can with a fork. I've never had to take one to the vet for her heartworm shots.
So how are they like cats again? | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/22/2007 1:08:10 AM | So how are they like cats again?
When you stroke them just right they purr (moan) and cuddle right into you, more often then not, staying put till you stop and might get pissy when you DO stop before they want you too (BEFORE the orgasm).
Their fur (skin) is soft 
You piss them off they more often then not shriek and hiss (raise their voice and yell) and or run from you (walk away or leave the house for awhile)
Really piss them off they are vindictive (a cat will scratch the shit outta ya if you make them too mad) a women will too if you push them too far in the wrong direction.
I never had a woman go into heat and howl in my back alley at 3 am A woman only does that when a man flat out is nasty about sex at that point and then it is usually the man in the doghouse...so pretty close here.
When a cat is scared they run to you or will sink there claws into you (anywhere!) a woman does too if she trusts you; heaven help you if she has long nails
There are some women who only want affection on their terms; touch them otherwise and well it is hands off..most cats I have been around are like that! And if you ignore them when they do approach you for affection well....silent treatment and all you are good for is food and water (cats) and from the woman well....not sure what you'd be good for; when mine ignored me I finally figured out he was good for NOTHING but the boot out the door.
When you hurt a cat physically they hide, so do women from you unless you convince them to come back to you.
I have never owned a cat but I lived with a family that had three; while they all had different personalities I saw them all treated differently and it was enlightening to say the least. The one that was abused by one of the owners (although he never abused the other two) I finally got away from him to a good home. That cat is a much happier cat.
This answer your question MFH or were you just being silly with this post:
If something is like something else then that must mean they share similar qualities or traits.......yes or no?
I've dated a number of women over the years and not one has ever brought me a dead bird or mouse as a gift. I've never seen one use a litter box or stare for hours upon end at a fish in a bowl. I never had a woman go into heat and howl in my back alley at 3 am. Women don't react to catnip. They don't try to climb the curtains. They don't come running to the kitchen when you bang a can with a fork. I've never had to take one to the vet for her heartworm shots.
Fishbill: I do love your posts ROFL! | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/22/2007 2:32:32 AM | You guys all rock!
Here I was having a crappy day, just counting the hours until I got on the chopper, then I log on here.
Kudos:
Imhustmekevein and mfh2112; you guys seriously crack me up. Damn near every time you jump in I wind up passing my drink of the moment through my nose.
Nothingoriginalisback; MyDear, don't sweat it, you just ran me into the same wall I've been bashing my own head against for years. That's why men have caves, fortunately mine has all the amenities. Besides the occassional reality check is good for the soul, even a used model such as mine. You seem like a genuine sweet girl, and I enjoy it when you speak your mind.
Tinydancer123; you're KILLING me! Here I am reading your post thinking,"uh huh, yup, thank the Lord, they really DO exist!" when you have to go and ruin it all by telling me that you're apparently abnormal and to ignore your advice. (sigh) More unicorns. Got to say though, with that attitude, if you're ever in the area I'm pretty sure I can fix you up with damn near anyone. If I told them about you and sold tickets I'd get rich! Don't think you'll be single for long.
Ravenwo7; good to see you back! As for excuses, trust me, I don't need them. I've spent the majority of my life finding new and ridiculous ways to step into the Lion's Den. Besides, I LIKE women, like damn near everything about them; how you look, how you smell, I even like the cold hands on the back of my neck. My jones is the communication breakdown. But that's not with women, that's with pretty much everyone that figures that the sun wouldn't rise if they didn't get out of bed.
Now, I'm tired of typing and Lake Placid is on,(Betty White is the BOMB!) so I'm going to crack a beer and chill. Oh, and as far as my antagonizing people...I like it.
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