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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/22/2007 3:20:21 AM | Hey Rocky!
I'm getting to do ALL my favorite lines today! Why would you give elves to your exes?
I'll bet that if you had added it to the LIST, (see how sneaky I am? see how I just snuck that right in there?) he could have just gone to the kitchen and looked at the fridge door...and PRESTO! No more  , just like Johnson & Johnsons.
NOW do you see how handy my whole list thing is?
I forgot, all the ladies that were kind enough to send me their lists, my very greatest thanks!
Whoops, commercial break is over, later! | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/22/2007 5:29:58 AM | Dear Kbot, missed a few days but just got caught up. You are doing fine and you are putting a lot into this thread and everyone just about is trying to deviate from your oh so simple innocent OP. Funny as all get out
You are a digger and you sure are making some people dig deep in their attempts to answer you. Such a simple question BUT no simple answers. Why? Because most women are not as simple as you are trying to make it.
Having said that I have learned to identify some more wants and some more needs through this thread. Making us think!!! "You know how to play a room" for sure and your energy is wow. Now if I thought for even a minute that you didn't know any of this well I'd be amazed, maybe even shocked. I bet in your dating world you are a pleasing terror (I say that in the kindest way) You are still doing a good job BUT you know I'm sure that the list you are looking for is a composite and very long because everyone is so individualistic and I'd hate to see you use something from the list on the wrong woman!!!! You are funny! | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/22/2007 6:55:01 AM | GTADAIZEE!!!
Where have you been girl?
Yup, been holding down the fort, with one minor stumble, but back to laughs again! You know, at times I feel like I'm trying to stir molasses with my head.
And Rocky, you didn't want to give me a list? Why not? Look at how good you did!!! Any guy looking to sidle on up to you better use your last post as a screensaver on his cellphone. Still not clear on why midgets in Oklahoma throw snowballs at your exes, but what the hey, who am I to judge?
So guys! Any comments about the rules that some of these lovely and talented women,( see? I can make nice nice ) have been gracious enough to let us in on? How many of you have stepped in these particular holes? Don't you wish you'd known then what you know now? It's got me rarin' to go!
I am still very curious about this whole timeline thing though. That particular minefield needs a map.
Oh yeah, I haven't said it in awhile, but yes, I AM still looking for simple rules that men should already, ( but never seem to ) know. Yes I know that everyone's set of rules are different, but you get enough monkeys on enough typewriters... pure Shakespeare! | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/22/2007 7:02:39 AM | "This answer your question MFH or were you just being silly with this post:"
I guess the air is a little thinner up where you are. I had thought the humour was obvious.
Thanks for the input. Next time I need to make up with a woman I'll just but her one of those little balls with the bell inside. Think of all the cash I'll save on flowers...... | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/22/2007 7:44:53 AM | Message 124 Thanks so much for your post, I was going to post similar but the stupid last 10 posts thing prevented me from doing so. Oh but you forgot one thing, Cats have their tails in the air just like....well uuumm nm 
And as for coughing up the furballs....Ladies....ever?
Kevin | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/22/2007 9:43:14 AM | "but you get enough monkeys on enough typewriters... pure Shakespeare!"
that whole theory was debunked long ago :)
Thanks for the welcome back.. where I went? I'm not sure.
The timeline? If you mean the Three Month thing...well.. if you've been dating a woman for three months and she hasn't been introduced by you to your friends or family then..she ain't your girlfriend. Source: Chris Rock.
And yes. It's true.
We know this. Men know this. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/22/2007 3:04:17 PM | kbot7, I just saw this thread, didn't bother reading all the replies, though. I just want to say that I, too, despise people who can't be clear and precise in what they mean to say. Many people, not just women, are ambiguous in what they say and then get mad at us when we misunderstand. I avoid those types of people whenever possible.
Ninki | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/22/2007 4:20:35 PM | Well I've read probably about 50% of this thought provoking thread and enjoyed what I did come across. Before even checking out your profile OP , I had a feeling that you were a Saggitarius (ya ya) for we are ones that love to study human behaviour and most importantly want to understand and learn from it.
I say BRAVO for this thread, for it shows a man striving to be all that he can be in a partnership, one who wants/needs to be all that he can be for his lady....well at least I hope I am right in my analysis. 
I think as many women will say that an ability to communicate effectively and openly is crucial to a relationship being stable and balanced. Voicing your concerns, pet peeves, wants, and desires from the get go will keep a union on an even keel is my thinking.
That means that I need to be with a partner that I can feel comfortable enough with so that I can feel that I am 1) being heard 2) not being judged 3) that he will not just say he heard but act upon them to show that I am being heard.
It seems to me that in my experience a man will sit there and nod (while he watches hockey lol) as if to say "yes I heard you baby" but when called upon it he simply had no clue as to what I even said. I enjoy seeing that a man truly paid attention and when I ask for something, that I do actually see it being done for me, just as I would do for him.
Simply I think all you need to do is pay attention to a woman and what she does have to say, we are very vocal creatures and will express all of who we are (at least I am) and what we do expect out of a relationship...........it's all there if you are truly listening. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/22/2007 5:21:07 PM | Hey Gang!
Okay, so I'm here slacking, I'm supposed to be finishing my packing today but thought I'd cheat a little.
Ravenwo7; debunked...really. Are you sure? Is there footage somewhere of this blessed event? I wanted to be the guy running the chimp slave galley! Let someone else clean it up of course. Maybe my girlfriend. Girls AND Guys know the whole 3 month thing? I didn't, love Chris Rock, but he should've put up billboards or something!
Ninki; you really should read the posts my dear lady! Chock full of valuable nutrients and such. Not to mention funny as hell!
Wicked and Wise; a Hot Mamma such as yourself checked me out and I didn't notice? My radar must be off, never did work very well in the first place. Is THAT one of the rules? Is there a secret knock that I'm not in the know about? The secret way that I can "tell" that a woman is attracted to me, when she doesn't show any overt signs. I've gotten in trouble over this one too.
AND NOW THE BLESSED EVENT THAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!!!
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The OFFICIAL crowning of the first rule! The GOLDEN rule of dating, if you please!
1. PAY ATTENTION!
There, it's official. Everybody got that? Good? Check. Moving on then. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/22/2007 5:39:35 PM | Well if you do perfect that golden rule of "paying attention", the rest simply falls into place.
It is my thinking that if a sweet lady is interested in you she will put off signs of such interest, you know what I mean?
Or do we need to list those as well....how to know a chick is digging you? I can see one on this thread already that has been following you....wondering if you've observed this at all?
I think it is also a given that a man should instinctively know that oogling another woman in public is disrespectful....why do men do this? Or hey if they are going to do it because we know you are such visual creatures ..at least bit a little less obvious about it will ya?
Hot mamma....you flatter me kind sir.....that should be your 2nd rule.....flattery my dear man goes a long way...remember women work on a mind level....stimulate those senses and I am thinking you will be on your way. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/22/2007 5:56:18 PM | I think there is no difference between the male and female mind only that they have a tendencey to be a certain way everything a female can think and feel a male can think and feel and vice versa.
maybe think of females as the same as you only difference being the body. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/22/2007 5:57:05 PM | What? Who? Where? Drat blast and conflounder! That'll teach me to buy radar from a coyote.
As for everything falling into place, My Fair Lady, oh were it only so!!! Even if I'm paying attention; if she's not throwin' down clear and constant rules I still don't know what the hell I'm doin'!
Think of it as rocketing down the highway in your favorite sports-car,( sorry for the male-oriented simile, but I AM a dude ) . You're shifting smoothly, negotiating hair-pin curves, anticipating every hazard of the road well in advance. But you're blindfolded. No matter how far you get, how fast you get there; every inch that you travel takes you that much closer to the end. You know that your instincts and luck can't carry you forever, and without at least someone you can rely on riding shotgun this wild ride can only end in one way.
What we're trying to accomplish here ladies and gentlemen; is to take off the blindfold. Put up some road signs to warn of impending danger. Maybe even help us shift gears when we'd rather be stroking the back of your neck. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/22/2007 6:07:55 PM | For some reason I feel the need to aid you on your quest to be a man that women will adore, and I certainly don't want you crashing because you didn't see those "road signs" or ..........were too buisy stroking the back of her neck!
From my limited experience in dating (18 years with the same man), I suppouse these were things that turned me off to men or what I found them to be lacking or non-understanding of me personally as a female:
1. When you are in the company of a woman (not living together), she should be your main focus....you can watch that game when I am not around, can you not? I've left behind things at home that I could be doing....to spend time with you....focus on your woman.
2. I am clearly not a television watcher....why are we sitting for hours and hours watching the boob tube? I suppouse saying you were that nature nut like me was just a way of reeling me in? In other words , be true to who you really are as a partner for to be with someone who isn't compatiable is the most annoying thing.
3. Learn her behaviour patterns ....if I am quiet it means I am upset (everyone is different of course) and that means I want to cool down before talking......so in other words , it's not time to talk and pressuring me will only escalate the situation..........watching and paying attention OP is key....listen to her words!
All I can say is that by the sounds of it, you truly need to look for a partner who is vocal so you will not have to question anything....the silent type is not going to work for you! | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/22/2007 7:08:36 PM | Okay. We're off-topic again. I'm not looking for vague touchy-feely, "just understand me" kind of stuff. Never going to happen. Just not wired that way. Sorry, but there it is, think of it as a condition. Like mange or something.
Not talking about making me the perfect guy either. I can fake the Oprah crap with the best of them. I like who I am and what I'm about. Basic compatibility is a separate subject best discussed elsewhere, but I appreciate the concern.
I want the collective hive of femininity to share their SPECIFIC, INDIVIDUAL, deal-breakers. The things that if we UNDERSTOOD you, ( which we don't ) we would do without thinking, ( which is really a shame, as I do most things without thinking ) which is why you are all secretly convinced that we Men are retarded in some basic way.
Perhaps hanging a shirt-tail out of one's fly at your Sister's wedding is deemed innappropriate behaviour? Should we NOT tell your mother that she would look hot in a micro-mini? Maybe the endearing habit of sharing the intimate details of our sex life with your Father isn't your cup of tea?
And the whole ogling thing, are we sure that's not the way to go? I personally find that once a woman knows I'm checking her out, and if I follow it up with blatant but relaxed interest, I'm saved a whole lot of time. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/22/2007 7:36:36 PM | Okay, Kbot--here is the list, at least a short one--precise and detailed.
1) do not pick your teeth with your fork
2) do not hit on my mother
3) do not hit on my brother
4) I don't have a sister, so no problem
5) do not have sex with my dog, cat, goat, or horse
6) do not leave your fly open
7) do not show up at my brother's wedding in a sweat suit
8) shower once a week whether you need to or not
9) if you have dentures, do onot take them out and lick them clean at the table
10) do not fart loudly in church and then shout out , "Boy, that'un's a good'un waddn't it, baby!"
11) Do not drink out of the toilet
12) do not pee in the swimming pool
13) do not set your open beer on my mother's best table cloth
14) do not climb uup on the table at my mother's wedding (or anyone else's for that matter) to make a toast
15) no matter how drunk you get, please do not throw up in the punch bowl.
Get the idea? I will try to make a longer list for you, but the problem is, there are so many things that I have trouble rememebering to tell you to NOT do. I am sure you arej a nice young man but the list of "do nots" is endless--how about if I just say "pay attention to what a woman asks for" and "play nice with others"? | |
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babs3
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Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 149 | |
| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/23/2007 12:05:01 AM | | ...after reading some of the men's posts...and clearly most of them haven't read most of the women's post....I have a tip for you gals........I find inserting the word "BLOW JOB every five or six words definately prolongs a man's attention span! ............thanx for the giggles...I have been amused immensley by this post! | |
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I love that movie...watch it every time it comes on and I swear I have seen it at least a hundred times if not more (I miss satelite lol)
me being a grumpy 
and eventually 
By the time the tears rolled around, or the fighting for that matter, he knew what not to do but chose to do it anyways. Too bad for him, even after 15 years he still wants me back.
and trying again with another 
