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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/23/2007 7:33:04 AM |
Somewhere out there, there HAS to be a woman that believes in dealing straight, falling in love, and being loyal.
There is, and she's happily MARRIED!
There are! Those that aren't married are looking someone with those SAME qualities! | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/23/2007 10:42:50 AM |
I know what makes me happy, I just need to find someone that does all this without having to be told to do it.
Stellar example of perfect irony.
Here's the thing: women feel the same way about guys. I have a guy friend - he says all the right things, maybe he even actually FEELS that he wants a real relationship, and god knows he's sweet and attractive. I fell for him hard when I first met him. But he can't follow through on ANYTHING - even his friends joke around about it. When he meets a woman he's attracted to, he listens, shares - it's so easy to feel like you are connecting on a deep personal level with him, and he insists on paying for dinner, holding doors, etc. He talks about how much he wants to be with a woman in a longterm relationship, he pursues with romance and kindness, and every woman he gets together with feels like she's something special in his life.... until they get intimate. Then he drops off the planet faster than a UFO at area 51. No phone call, no returned calls, no nothing. It makes women CRAZY. I was furious at him when he pulled this on me, and we run in similar social circles so avoidance was impossible. So I simply ignored him. But ultimately he asked me to forgive him and I did - we're able to be friends now. And what does he talk about? How he doesn't understand women!!! Honestly, I don't think it's that complicated - I think that if all he's after is hooch, he should be clear about that and quit playing with people's heart. He keeps it up anyway, and then goes around acting like he doesn't understand what's wrong with women. What's wrong is that the women think they've got a deep, heartfelt connection with him - and he's just after booty. The communication of so off it's really like different languages. He understands how to get laid, for sure, and I find it a little hard to fathom that he doesn't get how he's being manipulative. It's not about ESP - it's about the golden rule.
On the flip side, I know plenty of women who analyse men to pieces with their girlfriends (I'm the one they call when they want to go dancing at the local redneck bar or skinnydipping in the local swimming hole. I'm not good for seeking out the hidden motivations behind a guy's behavior.) These conversations leave me stunned - not every single word or action has some deeper hidden meaning! They don't communicate in mysterious signs or signals! This isn't "guy sociology 101!" If he doesn't call, he's not interested, period! If he tells you, right up front, that he's a player (direct quote from a guy trying to chat me up this past weekend: "Women come and go." He told me right there where he was coming from, no further explaination required!) then don't expect him to be there for you 6 months from now! I don't care how much of a connection you feel like you may have had, if you go to bed with him and he ditches you the next day that makes him a dog - not a wounded soul in need of healing, not a scum to be hunted down and made to see the error of his ways - maybe a horrible warning to your girlfriends, but it's time to write him off and forget him! Any guy who is looking for a woman to nurture his inner child needs a mommy, and how many grown women really want that? How many guys want a woman looking for that?
Yes, there are women who actually DO expect the men they're with to mystically intuit their every mood and whim and desire. They're called "high-maintenance." Some men are attracted to them like bees to honey - they're called "sugar-daddies." But most of us are actually pretty together about communication and expectation.
And much as I hate to admit it, the whole "men are from mars, women are from venus" concept seems to me like it has some merit (I didn't read the book. But it's a great title.) We communicate very differently, and we're socialized very differently. But the world is changing, and I think it's for the better - we're on more equal footing than we've ever been in history, and it's a great opportunity to get to know each other. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/23/2007 2:56:11 PM | You sure are typing a lot.
Yet nothing to the point in sight.
I'm not looking to sit around in a circle, holding hands, and chanting up the dead spirits of men and women even More confused than I am.
I am rather impressed with the sheer MASS of stuff being spewed my way. But you must realize by now that all I want is a simple list. 1-whatever, A-Z , sheep-shingling; however you want to arrange it is hunkey-dorey with me.
Think of me like an old Commodore 64; I can only take in information in a very BASIC format. Anything else gives me a RUNERROR, or just the runs.
It sure is interesting how angry some of you are at your exes, but perhaps that deeply emotional connection would have been clearer if the poor Sod had a handy LIST to reference whenever he realized the temperature in the room had suddenly dropped 20 degrees?
I DO have one piece of advice. People with the same qualities as women are known by the moniker, "other women" and trust me ladies, YOU don't want to date them either. Just look at all the trouble they're giving me, can't even get one simple thing out of them, like a LIST.
By the way, somebody said something about a BJ? | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:22:59 PM | kbot7
all I can say is that you are saying we aren't straightforward, and I got confused with where the question was in your post! (And they say women go round the houses) ha ha
Sorry it's late here and there was just too much to sift through, but if you want straightforward, then be straight forward. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:29:45 PM | JUST GIVE ME A FREAKIN' LIST OF THE LITTLE THINGS YOU THINK GUYS SHOULD BE DOING BUT AREN'T!!!
Straight forward enough forya? Should I spell it in Swahili? Perhaps I could litter the city with flyers from a zeppelin all lit up with Christmas lights?
Just kidding. Sometimes I need to take the CapsLock key out for a spin. You all keep on keepin' on and I'll check in later. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:33:03 PM |
It sure is interesting how angry some of you are at your exes, but perhaps that deeply emotional connection would have been clearer if the poor Sod had a handy LIST to reference whenever he realized the temperature in the room had suddenly dropped 20 degrees?
MOST men I have ever dated have not been like you I am happy to say lol They are observent and pay attention and (most) have been nice and considerate enough to my needs to have that give and take that most of us are talking about. No list was ever needed. Aside from the ex that thought I was sexy angry, my abusive ex-husband, and my abusive soon to be exhusband whom (both) used it as a control factor I really have no complaints other then the cheating that most felt the need to do. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:55:56 PM | OK Kbot What you need to do is get a helper to type up all the over simplified list of basic rules so that you can put it in your pda and look at it for all those times you apparently can't remember them. Sounds like you need some kind of assistance to keep you on the straight and narrow and on the correct path.
So my dear, my last basic rule for you is to find a lady who will groom you to be perfect. But realize to find that lady you already have to be perfect (so back to your pda list) and realize that she will most likely be perfect and try to create you into the image she imagines she most likely probably wants.
So if you keep asking input from us, then we may cotton on to the fact that you are not an imaginative, sensitive, leader type who we'd like to 'catch'.
So if you will keep choking out from everyone their input. BUT me thinks you have quite a list already, it just needs to be organized and given to you!  | |
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| That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/23/2007 9:39:30 PM | OKAY, Kbot--you have been given SEVERAL lists--do like gtadaizee said, and put them in your little pda and look at them. You are either VERY dense or just putting us on, I also gave you a 15 point (or thereabouts) list of DO NOTS, so I will add to that list...
16) Don't be STUPID
17) Look at the list every hour, on the hour
18) Don't make me spank you
19) Go to your room until you can behave appropriately
20) Write "I am a baaaaad boy" 500 times. | |
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| That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/23/2007 10:39:14 PM | I have TONS of lists here. But I'm the greedy type, I'm always wanting more, food, sex, whatever.
The spanking sounds good. The PDA thing won't work. I can't figure them out either.
What I plan on doing, is my first night that I'm bored up in the Charlotte's, I'm going to compile them. In the meantime, keep throwin' 'em at me, pretend like it's pasta you're checking to see if it's cooked.
What I REALLY enjoy about this whole thing, is that every girl I've had read this gets right heated, then immediately launches into a diatribe about what insensitive butt-wipes the men in her life have been. Fun for the whole family.
GTADAIZEE; whatever made you think I was interested in leading anyone? Much more fun to just wind them up and watch them go! Besides, there isn't much hope of anyone "catching" me in the near future. Unless they plan on a whole lot of globe-trotting. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/23/2007 11:27:42 PM | Here's what I learned so far:
1) try to hide the fact you're checking a hot chick out while on a date
2)No excretion including but not limited to Puke, snot or urine anywhere but in the toilet, then put the lid down (no one actually said this but probably flush too)
3)If you screw up grovel and send flowers
4)If she ever does anything besides sit on the couch, worship her and tell her what a dream she is
5)Don't forget her birthday, anniversary, date of first "date" or her menstral cycle
6)Know her favorite color and buy her semi-precious or precious gems accordingly
7)Do the housework
8)Take out the Garbage before it starts to smell
9)Be awesome for HER in bed
Yep I think that's about it =D
Kevin | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/24/2007 12:45:09 AM | There was once a man who was kind and good. He did right by all his entire life and, at the dawning of his golden years god appeared to him and praised his goodness. God said to the man "For your life of ritiousness I shall grant you one wish, what shall it be?" The man replied "Well god, there is one thing I'd really enjoy. I am deathly afraid of flying and I get violently seasick but I've seen pictures of the beaches of Hawii and would love to go there. Could you build me a highway across the ocean so I can drive there?" God was a bit taken aback by such a selfish request and said "Do you realize, the inpracticallity of this thing? With the resources it would consume, it would cause many to go hungry. I'm going to give you a week to rethink your request.
One week later god returned and the man said "God, you're right of course, so I have a much simpler request. I would like to understand women."
God replied "So, would you like that highway to be 2 lanes of 4"
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:12:15 AM | imjustmekevin --
I think you're on the right track! I especially like #s 2, 3, 5 & most definitely 9. :)
Re: #7, housework is the pits but must be done, and in my opinion, done by everyone living in said house, unless the household is lucky enough to be able to hire someone else to do some of it. | |
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| That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:46:22 AM | OK, here are some of my thoughts, some of which have already been mentioned by other posters.
I like being around men (and women) who behave in a way I describe as "classy". For example....
I do not want to share my home or my life or my time with a gorilla.....therefore,
When you leave a room, any room, leave it at least as clean/neat as when you entered...don't expect me to clean up after you.
Basic hygiene is a good thing - wash your hands after you use the bathroom and before you use the kitchen. Don't make a mess in the bathroom - if you pee outside the toilet, clean it up. Flush 'cause I don't want to see it or smell it.
Personal grooming is important. Shower & wear clean clothes daily. Shave. Take care of your teeth and your breath. Don't pick or scratch at yourself. Trust me, other people notice all of these things.
If you want to tell "bodily function" jokes, tell them to your guy friends when I'm not around. Don't pass gas when you're with me or anyone else, and if you do by accident, excuse yourself. Cover your nose when you sneeze and your mouth when you yawn.
Know and use good table manners. Close your mouth when you eat. Don't touch other people's food with your hands. Wear a shirt. Keep your feet off of the table.
Open doors for me, carry heavy stuff for me, help me be seated in restaurants.
Don't show off...how much you can drink, how much $ you make, how "smart" you think you are, etc.
Stand up straight. Look people in the eye. Use a firm handshake. Smile.
Listen, and let me know that you are. Don't talk endlessly about yourself. Keep secrets. Don't discuss our private business with other people.
Do kind and thoughtful things frequently...for me and for other people.
Learn how to be a fabulous lover. If you don't know what that means, read Ian Kerner's "She Comes First".
These are just a few of the basic rules of getting along in the world, and apply equally to men and women, I think. | |
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| That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/24/2007 4:22:17 AM | The highway to Hawiai is RIGHT ON but then I think Kbot knows exactly what he is doing. Kbot although a pain in the azz and sorta irritating is none the less entertaining. So Kbot we are going to hold you to reproducing an excellent list of all that you wanted and post it for us to read and use as a reference. I'm getting up there in years and I will most likely need your list so I can remember what my likes and dislikes are. Will be looking for it! | |
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| That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/24/2007 4:44:50 AM | Hey GTADAIZEE!
You're so sweet, I get that from ALL the girls. I hereby swear that I will fill a couple of my lonely nights to turn this into something worthy of a fridge magnet. It's good to have such lofty goals in life.
Imagine 1947; I thank you in all seriousness for such an excellent list. I know a lot of people that should have it tatooed on prominent body parts for easy reference. I bow to your poise and class.
Hey everyone! Howzabout something for the "kid" issue? I'm not getting any younger, and there's a whole new dynamic to dating in one's thirties. I'm sure the next few posts are going to get bloody, but, what the hey... | |
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| That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/24/2007 6:09:48 AM | Hey I remember my 30's....I think. Pffffffft make it interesting and ask about kids in your 40's instead!! Only been a Dad to some dead-beat Dad's kids so far, none of my own. Yea for no dirty diapers, boo to missing first steps, first day of school etc etc gggrrr
Kevin | |
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| That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/24/2007 10:28:15 AM | Kevin, your list shows that you are obviously VERY SMART--and I think if you actually live by that list I am in love with you...will you marry me! You are awesome. Heck, my late husband only did about half that list and I thought he was pretty wonderful, if you do ALL of that you can probably walk on water as well. I'm in loooooove    | |
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| That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/24/2007 12:21:01 PM | I don't understand this question at all.
I don't expect any guy to have ESP...I just expect him to treat
me at least as good as his friends. (without all the dirty jokes of course)
Assume Im smart enough to figure out what he's talking about so he'll never find the
need to talk down to me.
Remember his manners and social skills.
If I do the same...whats the problem?
When did we all become so cynical and angry I wonder?
I don't remember dating being this complicated...although Ill admit it has been a while. | |
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| That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:52:42 PM | Noone's angry Boo;
And thank you for your wonderfully short little list. See how helpful these little things could be? No dirty jokes, some poor bloke could've just finished chatting up a girl that had told him a whopper, then fallen flat on his face as he tried to share it with you.
Off to work for young KBOT7 now, have fun all! | |
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| That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/24/2007 6:22:04 PM | Kevin, your list shows that you are obviously VERY SMART--and I think if you actually live by that list I am in love with you...will you marry me! You are awesome. Heck, my late husband only did about half that list and I thought he was pretty wonderful, if you do ALL of that you can probably walk on water as well. I'm in loooooove
Oxdrover,
Kevin | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/24/2007 6:58:25 PM | Rules are fluid. In other words, they can change depending on the situation and the man. However, if a woman and a man have fun "hanging" out then that should clue the man in that the woman is interested. Otherwise, she'd go shoe shopping.
That's my 2 cents....take it or leave it. | |
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