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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/26/2007 7:08:28 AM |
And they say men don't "get" women.
They don't get us completely, but for cryin out loud.. they aren't stupid. Heh. Some things are just obvious.
Are you OCD? Or do you just like lists A LOT. SO much so that you want everyone to post one for you? Just wonderin.. I HEART LISTS TOO. I dunno if I am OCD, but I suppose if it has occurred to me to wonder if I am.. then I am.
Do you realize just how much reading you'll have ahead of you. No woman will answer this the same. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 5/28/2007 3:49:35 AM | WELL WELL WELL! Just LOOK at all the slackers out here!
I take a month off and suddenly noone wants to taunt each other in new and creative ways?
I finally have a couple of hours, ( while I wait for my laundry to dry; and watch the sea-otters steal bait off the dock) figuring now would be the perfect time to start compiling lists and creating ...
THE ONE, THE ONLY, LIST OF LISTS!!!
You know, without the drumroll, that just isn't what I'd envisioned.
But, I'd really hoped for some new and exotic material since last we'd visited our intrepid little band.
Pity.
But, if anyone still wishes to contribute, I PROMISE accolades and laurels.
In the meantime and in-between time, I shall now set about regurgitating all that YOU all, have wrought.
Heaven help us all. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 5/28/2007 4:52:27 AM | Ok, not having read all post, here I dare anyway.
Why do we need rules to captivate/entice/impress the other? I reckon the best rules are the ones we, ourselves, follow = be yourself. If she doesn't respond accordingly, she is not good or bad, she is just not compatible. What's the point of knowing the rules? Once you got what you wanted, are you going to follow rules or being yourself? Eventually, we will all find that spontaneous, honest and exciting person who really, factually, doesn't need to play games.
We can only try, while being who we really are.
Bye
B | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:52:52 AM | In the spirit of honest, open, two-way conversation...
If you'd actually spent the time to find out what the topic really was,(i.e. PAYED ATTENTION) you might not be cruising date sites at ungodly hours.
Wait, before you bother to say it... I'm entirely comfortable being an ***hole. Read the posts. They're worth the time. Some are not only funny but informative.
Besides, as one guy to another, if you suck up here, you might get pseudo-cyber-whatchamafukkits!
Wow, sounds just as crappy on-screen as it translates in the Aerosmith video. Best of luck. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 5/28/2007 8:27:26 AM | You are kinda pi$$ing me off with this.
Every woman will have different "rules" and obviously, they don't see the point of listing each rule to someone ridiculing them... OR they don't have any hard & fast freaking rules.
FYI.. the biggest rule every woman has is "don't be an a$$hole". I'm generalizing, but I don't think anyone will mind that one.
And don't even start with the, 'you didn't read the thread...' garbage.. because I have. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 5/28/2007 8:53:26 AM | Just let it be said, that she had assumed, that the Gentleman in question should have known that when she invited him to "hang out" he should have realized that because she liked him it was a "date". She never told him it was a "Date", they've spent time together before, but because she has now decided that she likes him in "that" way he is failing to meet her standards as an object of interest.
Now, please don't waste all of our time by saying; "I don't/would never/haven't done that" you all have/do/and will at some point.
I'm with you on this one. If she did not was not specific that it was a date, how was he to know?
He should open the door
He should let me open the door
I love it when a man opens the door for a lady. I don't expect it every time, and when it happens, it's like a breath of fresh air. I have taught both of my sons that it is the gentlemanly thing to do (whether it be a 17-year old girl, or a 80 year old woman), and alot of woman have complimented my sons on this behavior.
I guess my advice on this one is that it's safer to open a door for a woman, then not to do so. Also read her body language, if she is walking slightly behind you upon approaching a door, she is probably doing so to see if your going to open it for you. If she gives you a "Thank you" or "That's sweet", it's just confirmation on your polite gesture.
And not to be sexist but if I am exiting a store, and a man, woman, or child is entering, I will hold the door for him/her. It's simply good manners like letting the person with one or two items behind you in line at the grocery store go ahead of you.
He should undertstand that when I leave him alone at my family-reunion on our first date it is because I have people to talk to.
I don't thing anyone (male or female) should leave someone alone at a function they have been invited to attend either as a friend or a date. The invited party should feel included in conversations and introduced to others. I see no point in inviting someone to attend an event if they are going to be left sitting alone.
I agree that men have it tough in todays world. They are expected to be sensitive but manly, .......I could go on and on but I'll spare you. The bottom line is communication on both females and males. A woman should not get mad regarding if a get-together is a hang-out date, or a date date if the poor man has not been informed of such details.
Woman and men are definitely different creatures and that's part of the wonderful appeal of the opposite sex. | |
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babs3
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Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 207 | |
| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 6/1/2007 2:24:12 AM |  ...okay kbot...with the last two posts....it looks like you are an expert at kissing your own ass....and looking for an audience! So why don't you eblighten all of us gals what it is you WANT to hear! I am sure there will be a few replys to to you...regardless what you write!!...If you are still clueless as to what women want....lemme give you the #1 basic rule to survive with the ladies..........DON"T POKE THE BEAR!!!!........and if I need to explain that one to you......try reaching for your package while kissing your ass!!..........you'll never have to leave the house again!! | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 208 | |
| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 6/1/2007 3:51:00 AM | Okay, this is going to make my head explode.
OP: If you are looking for certain answers, why don't you type them up and we'll tell you what you're waiting to hear.
The funny thing is, there are threads that complain about women with "lists" and here you are asking for lists.
Rember that some men are also guilty of expecting women to read their minds.
I could give you a list, but it would be made up on the spot and it would only be to try and satisfy your curiosity (which I don't think is possible). I don't really have a set of rules that I expect a man to follow. Oh sure, there are the obvious ones, like if you drink a glass of milk, don't leave the dirty glass sitting on my coffee table for the night, so I have to chip the dried milk out of it the next day, because you don't "do" dishes. Then don't have the nerve to cry that I never tell you what's wrong, when I'm obviously pissed about the fact that I'm having to chip milk from a glass that is too narrow to cram my hand down into.
Do you really want lists full of that kind of crap?
There are some "rules" that a normal, fully-functioning, human adult shouldn't need to be told...that goes for both men and women.
JUST GIVE ME A FREAKIN' LIST OF THE LITTLE THINGS YOU THINK GUYS SHOULD BE DOING BUT AREN'T!!! You're asking us to generalize. Do you know what will happen? The women who respond to what you are asking...that is, the women who respond with what you EXPECT, will get called a bunch of bitches by other men coming in here and getting mad because of lists that generalize "oh I hate when men do this"...I wouldn't blame men for being a bit annoyed by that.
One of my ex's was great at doing the little things that some other men might not think to do...another was quite selfish and didn't think it was important to do anything extra. Am I going to bash men, in general because of it? No. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 6/1/2007 5:02:59 AM | Exactly Eldubu, but then you have some men who are really thick. It doesn't matter what you tell them, because they don't really listen and are going to do what they want anyway. Then they wonder why you get upset.
Once when I was pregnant, my ex was gone to work and told me he'd be back for supper. I cooked a nice romantic dinner and rented some movies. At supper time he calls and says he'll be late. Fine. Then he calls twice more to tell me that he's going to be even later but hold off on supper. Fine. Then around 10:30 that night he calls me, out of it. This is pretty much what happened.
Me: So when are you coming home?
Him: I don't know.
Me: What do you mean, you don't know?
Him: Well, I know, but I can't tell you.
Me: You can't tell me? Where are you?
Him: I can't tell you because I promised someone I wouldn't and she's standing right next to me. I can tell you that I'm somewhere outside the city but that's it.
I hung up. He used to do childish things like that all the time and then never understood why I hated it. He made it sound like I was crazy for wanting common courtesy. He'd "apologize" but tell me that he only did so to make me "get off his back". Then he'd complain about how he didn't really know what I wanted from him. Well, it's simple Skippy. If you're going to go out with your friends, don't lie about it and don't play childish games over it to try and make me jealous. And, if you're not coming home tell me so that I can go ahead and eat without you.
OP, for most women, we mean what we say. We do expect though, that you have common sense and decency. If we tell you something more than a couple of times and you keep doing it, don't get pissed off because we get upset about it. Obviously if we bring it up, it means something to us. It would serve you well to listen. | |
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wafta
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Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 210 | |
| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 6/1/2007 5:35:35 AM | Its very simple really. Be yourself, interpret what your woman says using your own mind.
You don't need to know the rules, because if you obey them, women will just invent more and more and more !!! Do you really want to spend the rest of your life following rules and guidelines and being something you're not - that is a sure fire way of producing a unhappy relationship !!
You're far better off not knowing, just being yourself and going with the flow. If it works, it works and you can have a free and comfortable relationship. If it doesn't and she complains that you're not obeying her unspoken rules, you don't belong together because you obviously want different things !!!
Don't even try to figure them out - you never will. Instead, find your way through those women and eventually you'll find one who has no rules at all and will accept you for who you are. That's the type of woman you should be seeking, don't settle for anything else !!! | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 6/1/2007 8:09:56 AM | Kbot Welcome back brother!!! Hey Where's Oxdrover and are she and I still getting married pffff.
Wafta,
I very good at just being myself and now that I've gotten permission to do so I will and just point my finger at YOU when she gets pissed LOL J/K!!!! I also think that common sense is probably a big part of it but if a man constantly works to please his woman, eventually she will lose respect for him and the relationship goes south fast.
Kevin | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 6/1/2007 4:26:35 PM | The List code for guys:
ALWAYS BE HONEST
When they ask "do I look beautiful?", say yes - forget honesty, LIE
When they ask "do you think Halle Berry is beautiful", say no - forget honesty, LIE
Ever noticed how many women dont cook? Even for themselves? So when she asks " Does it taste good?" Forget honesty, LIE.
You better bring something with you.
When they tell you your income doesn't matter? They're lying!
When they tell you they dont have sex on a first date? Its just not your turn.
BE YOURSELF
Be what they want you to be when they want you to be it AT ALL TIMES
Well groomed = Trendy for the occasion/haircut/cologne, therefore indicating plenty of money, good job, flash car
Open minded = Open to ALL of their suggestions over your own.
Sensitive = Put their feelings before your own - ALWAYS.
Kind/Generous = Pay for everything - ALWAYS.
Not looking for just sex = Look but don't touch till SHE tells you to
Put the toilet seat down - cos she can't be bothered.. (do we moan when we have to lift it up after your fat ass has been on it?)
BE ROMANTIC
Don't EVER agree with ANYTHING she tells you her ex did - good or bad, just don't do it.
Don't EVER wear dark glasses when you're out, you WILL be accused of looking at other women. ( Like she can even speak English when Johnny Depp or Wesely Snipes is on screen)
Learn to look out of the corner of your eye, BUT if you have a very perceptive woman, don't even attempt that cos she'll notice. Don't look AT ALL is always the safest option. No not even a twitch.
DON'T ever suggest looking at porn mags or dvds - she'll feel inadequate and imagine you're thinking of having sex with those women and not her, but trust me, you are going to see Pirates Of The Caribbean 3 very soon.
BECOME A MIND READER - If she asks what time you're coming home? She's planning something. And you were warned!!
BECOME A PLANNER - women plan everything and will expect you to do the same, don't ever act on impulse unless you're surprising HER. And gaadamit you better get it right!
Open doors, give her your coat when its cold, let her have the umbrella when it rains, let her do EVERYTHING first - she's not really as independant and self sufficient as she'd like you to believe.
Study women and become "one" -I mean shaolin training and study so get tuff.. this is the only way you will EVER make these women happy.
Basically, do as you're told, when you're told, how SHE wants it or she WILL find something to moan about and a whole new set of rules for you to abide by
Follow these simple rules and you can have a happy successful relationship and the life of a complete biatch. Failing that, find someone who expects nothing and have a happy successful relationship as a man. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 6/4/2007 2:59:01 AM | Remington, you just described most of the marriages in America!! ::P Except mine.
Let me tell you about mine with my late wife, Nikki and the way I handled some of these things and hopefully, I can shed some light on what the real rules are.
I got around some of these rules...
I told her if she expected me to be honest, don't ask me a question she doesn't really want an honest answer to..."honey, do these pants make my a*s look fat?" for example. That became our private joke. Every time we saw someone with an a88 the size of a mack truck we looked at each other and said that laughing.
I told her the day I stop looking is the day she can bury me in the backyard, cause I'm dead. I told her if you can cream your jeans over Antonio Banderas, I'll be checking out the blonde in the restaurant with the big boobs. Equality, baby.. We'd be walking down the street and she'd draw my attention to a particularly hot babe, and I would point out a great looking young hunk. We both understood that it was just eye candy.
She complained about me leaving the toilet seat up..do we moan when we have to lift it up after your fat ass has been on it?) Practically, word for word, except I didn't say fat...I'm not THAT brave or stupid.
Don't EVER agree with ANYTHING she tells you her ex did - good or bad, just don't do it.
Extremely good advice..always condemn the ex with her...even if you think he was right..
And never, never, never, say "Now I know why your ex divorced you" in a fight, no matter how nasty it gets...I didn't know people could turn that red out of anger, and of course, the tears followed. I don't care how macho you think you are, this is the time for serious groveling.
BECOME A PLANNER - women plan everything,
but they'll never tell you the plans...
Nikki used to plan the whole day out in her head, but of course, I was never privvy to the schedule..so I'm looking forward to a relaxing Saturday..maybe going shopping with her, coming home, watching the ball game. 10 minutes before the store's due to open she starts panicking because were going to be late...How the h&ll can we be late to a store that's not even open yet?? Then, she finally tells me she's doing this at 1, that at 2, we're going here at 3...etc..of course, this is the first I've heard of it.
Basically, do as you're told, when you're told, how SHE wants it or she WILL find something to moan about and a whole new set of rules for you to abide by
No way...compromise, the only way to maintain a healthy relationship.
I was going fishing one night and went across the street to ask my neighbor if he wanted to come along. He said he had to go ask his wife if it was ok...
I went home and told Nikki, if you ever make me ask your permission to go fishing this marriage is over. .Of course she laughed cause she knew my neighbor Ken's wife.
Usually I would tell her if I was going fishing or out for a while in case she had something planned, which, naturally, I knew nothing about..never did break her of that habit..:)
which meant, if you have an objection, let's hear it now, otherwise I'm outta here. So, what that does is maintain your independence but lets her know that you're considering her needs too.
She was really a great partner..never told me to do anything, never kept from doing anything unless we needed to do something else and she wanted my company or help. Everything about our relationship was a partnership. I really felt for guys like my neighbor who had wives that acted more like mothers.
The rules are really pretty easy in a relationship.. treat your wife/girlfriend as a partner. Let her in on your plans, but give her the chance to object with a good reason. Be a man, but don't be an a88hole. Women will always push around men that let them. And the more you let her push you around, the less she'll respect you. Show consideration for her feelings..if you're going to be late coming home, call her and tell her. You're not reporting in, like a subordinate, you're showing consideration for her feelings by keeping her from worrying and she'll appreciate it and if you really want to make some brownie points, when you're late, bring her some flowers. $5 at the grocery store..small price to pay to bring a smile to her face.
Tell her at least once a day that you love her..never leave the house angry..never go to bed angry..resolve any arguments before going to bed..alway kiss her goodnight and tell her you love her again. You can't tell women that enough..we sometimes think they take it for granted, but they really like to hear it often. When you finish a conversation on the phone say "I love you." even with your friends around. Who cares what they think?
You're a man who loves your wife and you don't care who hears it..
When you're talking about her, use her name..., so many men always say "my wife" like she's some kind of personal possession. She has a name, use it proudly in public. You should be proud of her, she has great taste in men. :)
Never ridicule her in public..don't air your dirty laundry, your private life is private, keep it that way. Give her a lot of hugs. Bring her flowers for no particular reason occasionally.
You want to make her laugh her head off,,,bake her a cake.for her birthday.and then try to frost it...if you've never done it before, the results with be hilarious, I did it and like the rookie I was didn't use enough frosting so the knife ripped the skin off the poor thing. And the layers slipped so it was lopsided..it really looked pathetic. I can cook but I can't bake worth a d*amn.
Then you can dig into the mess and play the "stuff her face game" like you did at the wedding..we ended up with chocolate cake everywhere and had one hell of a good time. Of course, the mess was a drag to clean up, but it was worth it.
As I said, the rules are very easy...just love her and treat her like you love her. If you love someone, their happiness and contentment is just as or more important than your own.
If she's happy, she'll want to make you happy too.
Don't always insist on your own way. But don't always give in to her either... gently remind her that you did it her way last time..
One game women always play for some reason is when they're mad at you and won't tell you why "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you." which makes about as much sense as the old DOS error "bad command or file name."
Nikki tried that once early in the relationshp. I told her yes you are because I'm going to stand here right in front of you until you do, whatever it is we need to resolve it now.so we can get back to the kissing and hugging. .of course, it was some thoughtless or inconsiderate thing I did that I had absolutely no idea about..I was wrong so I apologized hugged her, kissed her and everything was cool. Never let them get away with those games...always call them on it.
I'm sorry if I sound like I'm preaching but I had a great marriage for 9 years until she died of breast cancer in Feb 2006. What I learned is that if you treat a woman as an equal and as your best friend, she's not going to try to use those female "control" mechanisms on you because 1. she knows they won't work because you won't buy the BS,and you'll call her on it and 2. she won't need to. Because if there's a conflict, you've learned to compromise or sacrifice your desires for her, and she'll do the same next time.
It doesn't take ESP to understand what a woman wants.
She wants to be treated as a valuable person. She wants to be treated with respect. She wants you to appreciate her mind, personality, sense of humor, interests and everything she is, not just her body. She wants a man that will be attentive to her sexual needs, not just his own, and not like a love doll to be cast aside when he's finished with her.
And lastly, most, not all, want to loved by a man who will do all these things, whether it's for one night, a week, a year or a lifetime.
To the guys in general.
Even though chivalry is in direct conflict with idea of a woman's independence, do it anyway..hold doors, help her on with her coat, if she's wearing one..etc. She wants you to be honorable, truthful, but tactful, be honest, but be careful :), when a woman says she wants honesty in a relationship she means honesty regarding your motives and intentions, not about the ugly spotted dress that makes her look like Bozo,
If you ever get into that position here's how to come out smelling like a rose..
"Honey, what do you think of this green dress?" And you think it looks gross..
"Well, you know, it's ok, but I really like you better in the red one, it emphasizes your blonde hair better." You're not lying and you're not saying something that will offend her.
Sometimes honesty is NOT the best policy, because if you love her, you don't want to offend her by saying it looks bad, if she likes it.
One example of how easy our relationship was:
Her pet name for me was a88hole. :) mine for her was b*tch, all in fun, of course,
She used to say, "You're such and a88hole, and I'd say "B*tch, you knew that when you married me" and she'd reply "I know, I should have had my head examined." I'd say "You did, it didn't do any good, you're still crazy" (she had been in counseling after her divorce) and then we'd laugh like a couple of kids.
She used to say "I have PMS, MS , and PMS (post menstrual syndrome),I get 1 week of sanity,, you 'd better take advantage of it."
I'm not saying I was a perfect husband. I screwed up a lot. I said things in anger that I regretted, did a lot of inconsiderate things, sometimes took her for granted, and sometimes was a selfish b*stard, but she knew I loved her and she loved me in spite of these things. And I stood side by side with her through the 18 month ordeal as we battled her breast cancer together and I held her hand at the end.
I started this post on a humorous note, but I'm going to end it on a serious one.
When I read some of the horror stories about bad relationships, ex-husbands and wives on this and other forums. I thank God that I had the opportunity to be with this woman for 9 years and to see what the Biblical truth "two become one" really meant. And I thought maybe some people here might like to hear about a good marriage, even though ti ended tragically.
In the final analysis, there's only one rule in dealing with any human being, male or female.
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Follow this in your dating life and you should be ok. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 6/4/2007 11:10:22 AM | This is a very well written topic. Not very politically correct but that's the point...it shouldn' be.
I had a chat with a "friend" about this type of thing this morning. I told her that I just keep dealing straight when it comes to women. I don't allow myself to get caught up in these emotionally charged games women use with men to get a feeling of reassurance...or worse...to fill some need to be "in control". I've had the worst of it when involved in "friends with benefits" relationships....so much drama.
Basically though...I just make a point of living full equality by giving and expecting it in return. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:43:46 AM | | Rules are for sports, not for relationships. Any man that thinks he needs rules for dating, needs to check to see if his boys are still firmly attached and working. Be a leader, be a man... see a girl you want to talk to? go do it! Got a cute friend who you want to sleep with? try it! Only idiots are not attracted to men who go for things they want. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 6/5/2007 10:26:23 AM | Just adding my 2 cents...
1. Be completely honest ~ I'm an adult I can handle being told the truth.
2. Respect ~ Show me the respect I show you.
3. Do what you say you're going to.
4. Don't lump me together w/ the other woman you've dated ~ I'm an individual.
5. Stay out of my head ~ Don't try to understand me just accept me for who I am. It's easier that way.
6. Be faithful ~ I don't like to share w/ other woman.
7. Communicate ~ If something is wrong tell me. Just like you, I can't read minds.
8. Don't assume anything ~ If I'm quiet, I'm probably enjoying the moment or thinking about random stuff. It does not mean you did something wrong.
9. Changing ~ Don't expect me to change who I am for you...I'm not going to expect you to change for me. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 6/5/2007 11:32:00 PM | Branes...I am so glad you had that. I am sorry you lost her but I am happy that the both of you had those 9 years together. :) Thank you for sharing that with us, it truly is funny but amazing too. I am going to save it too if you don't mind. I want my son to read it someday when he is old enough to understand it. Good luck to you   
Kbot my dear man....you are such a hoot   you do love the antagonism dontcha?!  Heaven help the woman whom falls for you and vice versa dude... she is gonna need the list  | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 6/8/2007 10:57:14 PM | Ok...I've got one to add to your list, when she is open and honest with you about something? Don't shut her out ok? If you want openness and honesty from her and then she gives it, shutting her OUT will not keep her opening up to you again. Kind of counterproductive. 
Ok...short term it how you like...but there ya go...finally got me to be specific on something  Be good | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 6/12/2007 1:53:03 AM | Dude, these women are just ****ed up. When I was with my ex-wife (15 years), I thought it was just her. But it's not. It's at least 50% of them.
They have magical inituition that gives them special insights. They know that dirty fingernails have mystical magical meaning, that a grimace is the mark of a serial killer, that a twitching finger is a rapist.
Of course, they never bother to empirically measure their "inituitions" to understand that their track is incredibly poor. All they need is that ONE time of "sensing danger" and it validates the 437 false alarms.
It's tiresome and boring and... I like masturbating more and more. | |
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| Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 6/13/2007 9:29:57 PM | Ok I might be a bit thinking that some of these women in here a bit nuts with there wants and such but overall this thread equates to paying attention, listening, respect, common courtesy, decency, honestly, loyalty, love....and we are ****ed up?
Oh my oh my.....*leaves thread singing Another One Bites The Dust* | |
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