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| Toon Smith hits a Popfly Review
Posted: 5/1/2005 5:17:20 AM | alrighty folks. Step right up and see one of THE best profiles I think I have ever come across here at POF!
POF'ers alike, tune in to Toonsmith and see for yourself. You will not believe the level of self depreciating humor, the great pictures, the amazing stories and the sheer zaniness of it.
The New York Joker Times gives it two fingers in the air!
The Washington (OH)Post would give it rave reviwes, a must see for the entire family!
Amazing, there is absolutely no other profile in existence like this one. You have gotta see this.
Ok pal, the check better be in the mail by this time tomorrow and better not bounce!! lol
On with 'da review!
The headline, eh, I am not totally fond of it, especially the "slightly used" part. Not as big of an attention getter as you may believe.
About your pictures.
I am split, to be perfectly honest with ya, about anyone putting a picture of their kid on the internet. Its creepy to me. Well, in most situations. But the one picture you have, with you and your kid with the silly expressions, it works nicely. Perhaps you can save that pic for your first contact e-mail. That'll really push 'em over the edge, I gotta say., She is cute.
The rest of your pictures, that is of you actually in there, keepers. Lose the one of you as a kid. As for the cartoon, is that you? A drawing of you? You are a toon dude?! ha ha. Perhaps save that for your second e-mail, when you are talking more about what you do. Always good to have an example.
Your "Dating Interests" section, need some tweaking there bud.
"Movies & Music" are industry standards. What I mean by that is everyone, I mean everyone, has these two exact same words in their profiles. Whats it mean though? These two things have such a broad area. Be more specific.
The rest of the things you have is great. Original, and uniquely you.
There is one caveat about all of this however. The whole profile I mean. You may be flirting on the edge of giving the impression of being a big silly kid. Proceed with caution!
"About me"
I like a majoprity of what you wrote.
Lose the listing of odd jobs you've had, a keeper for later.... MUCH later,
Lose the entire section entitled "Things not looking for in a Woman"
You had some funny things in there but overall negative and do you really honestly think a woman with any of these qualities will avoid responding to you just because you said so? Nope, not gonna happen.
Lose and so so now, comments from ex wife. Ugh, bad bad thang!
You have no comment in "First Date" but you addressed it so well in the last couple of lines of your About Me section. But what would you rrreeaaalllyyy like to do at a first contact meeting?? Try to be specific in that regard.
Thats my thoughts for now. Overall, good profile. Good job! | |
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| Toon Smith hits a Popfly Review
Posted: 5/1/2005 8:01:01 AM | | awww...salamander...tx for the compliment...hope u see this...and jack--may we call u dr. jack? hehe | |
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| Toon Smith hits a Popfly Review
Posted: 5/1/2005 10:12:28 AM | Gosh Thanks!
I will spend some time adjusting it, now that you have given me food for thought!
I have had some nice compliments from all corners of the globe that just popped in, read it and just wanted to say how funny they thought it was.
Kudos and thanks for helping everyone with constructive thoughts. It must take a lot of your time. Aint POF fun? 
Toonsmith The reviews are in, the show is a smash, profile has been extended for a long
run at the box office. We is open for business. | |
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| CRYS123 review
Posted: 5/1/2005 10:34:38 AM | | thanks for the tips. i like your style. | |
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| Ok I Am Back,Jack,& others
Posted: 5/1/2005 12:04:04 PM | Ok I have taken and Redone My Profile with few different approaches ~LOL~
#1 I described myself briefly
#2 Made Myself Open to all women across the world
#3 Told all it is Not Necessary To Lie
Go Ahead POF Critics tell me what needs be added or removed  | |
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| Ok I Am Back,Jack,& others
Posted: 5/1/2005 5:54:59 PM | | @ baldone Your comment on kids makes it sound like having them and being now singles is a mistake, probably not good idea, very negative, might not be what you meant but it's how I read it, probably others would too. | |
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| Frosty's Review
Posted: 5/1/2005 7:13:52 PM |
Frosty is up next
Thank you sir; I will go tweak right now.
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| Vixen re-review!
Posted: 5/2/2005 3:52:17 AM | You are welcome Vixen,
I checked out your profile again and I just noticed something. Were you aware that four of the five pictures you have contain you with a drink in your hand? Interesting.
Do you understand what this, along with part of your profile, will tell a guy? Think about it for a sec, you just may be surprised. Unless of course that is the image you wish to convey, in which case ya did real good! | |
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| Xainos Review
Posted: 5/2/2005 4:08:26 AM | Xainos,
So begins your review. Better brace yourself, it's gonna be a fast and wicked ride!
Your headline, that thing at the very start of your profile supposedly designed to catch someones attention or pique ones curiosity enough to stop and take a look at your profile.
If you came across some lady's profile that said "Where do we stand?", would this excite you enough, or make you curious enough to stop and waste a few moments of your time to read further?
The correct answer is "No".
You think you are funny? PROVE IT. Use some of that zany wit and humor of yours and get a great headline made. Do it, do it, DO IT!
About your pictures, Lose the one with you in shades. It impresses no one and quite possible, may convey you are hiding something, The other two pics, well, that are barely alright. I would definitely use the second of three however. All of 'em seem a bit glum? Moments before the picture was taken, did a wrench fall on your foot or did you find out your cat died? Jeez lou-friggin-weez, find a few more pics that show you know how to laugh, or atleast smile uncomfortably!
"Dating Interests"
Lose "Music & Movies". OR Expand these two very broad areas to be more specific for yourself. What more specifically in the entire music universe do you like? Showtoons and broadway? Punk rock? Hip Hop? Alternative and new age? Or good 'ol R&R? See? Its so broad, you leave room for someone to make certain assumptions and perceptions. Don't leave room like that otherwise they will pass you by and keep going.
The rest of your interests were ok, I'd add a few more though. Make 'em original and uniquely yours. Like "Sunsets". You will nto find that on most guys profiles. That is original and uniquely you.
I probably can add "shopping" to that too! ha ha
Your "ABOUT ME" section, needs some serious overhauling!
This is the part to describe yourself more, to put forth your attitude and qualities and quirks about yourself. Your first two lines are about what you seek, about anyone else in the universe but you. Lose it, or slide it down to the very end of this section.
My suggestion? Your second paragraph, the one that starts "Some of my characteristics..."
DEFINITELY start your profile with that. Start your profile strong like that!!
Share more about yourself, and less of who you seek. How can anyone be expected to look at your profile and want to e-mail you when you write little about yourself that may interest them enough to drop ya an e-mail.
Come on. MORE about you, less about what you seek. And PLEASE, stay away from the negative BS like "don't like to be taken for a fool". Those type of comments = "loser". Stay away from them like they are the plague!
Besides, I never buy such a statement. No one can do to you what you do not allow. If you were made a fool of, you were at the very least 50% responsible. Why go there? Lose it!
Your "First Date".
Way too vague. This would translate to some as either indifferent or just goes along with whatever.
As I have put in others reviews, it is us guys job to take control of the first date. To make those calls. Make the decision and run with it.
What would you really like to do on a first date. Seriously. Think on it and then write specifically what you wish to do. Don't be vague, it opens you wide up for interpretation. Being most people tend to go to the negative, pessimistic route, they wont bother with you.
Thems me thoughts!! | |
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| Hairdo's Turn for a review
Posted: 5/2/2005 4:21:28 AM | Are ya'll having as much fun as I am?? ha ha
hairdo41,
Your headline, "Searching for the truth", not original enough. Try again.
If you have any humor or just plain silliness within you, USE IT!! Any creativity? Again, USE IT. This is the place you need the biggest, strongest statement to grab someones attention. "Searching for Truth" is not gonna hack it.
About your pic, Its nice alright. Good smile. But the color is awufl. I am not sure of the pic was overexposed or what, but babe, getcha another picture pppllleeeaaasseee. It is an ok picture and can be used for time being until you get more pics. Hopefully soon.... within the week.
"Dating Interests" you put "everything".
Hhhmmm, wow, I did not realize you were into Volcano surfing, ancient chinese porn and devil worshiping. I did not realize I'd ever meet anyone whose every studied the moon to an extent that you can name every section of the place. I did not realize you were so into cars, motorcycles and Monster Trucks. Do you really like the scupltures from the 14th century Persia?
Do I get my point across here or do I just need to reach through the screen and conk ya on the noggin a few times while saying, "hhheeelllllllllllooooooooooooo"
THIS is where you put things that interests you most. "Everything" is impossible to put not to mention unbelievably broad and quite presumtious to boot. Get real, put your real honest to God interests here. Put many too. Like 8 or 10. Be unique and be original. NOt "sports music and movies". How droll. Spice it up, and make it yours!
"About me", you wrote nothing at all about you. Only two or three lousy sentences. Come on, this is where you want to convey a sense about yourself and who you are. What you are like and why would anyone want to get to know you more. Expand. YOu seem to be a little on the "about you" side, so I was surprised to see nothing about you here. Come on, let loose. Get 'ta writing!
Just pplleeaaasseee be sure to stay away from the negatives like what you are NOT looking for and what you do NOT want and what you AREN'T like. Stay focused on the positive side of things, k? Great!
"First Date"
You start off with things you wont do on a date. I applaud your honesty and at first thought would strongly suggest you drop it. Lose it altogether.
But again, it is original (you will not find such an honest statement in a majority of profiles, everyone will admit that) and despite it being in a negative format, it works. So keep it. However, if I may suggest, make it the ending to this section. It'll carry a bigger impact.
I like to keep things simple, and as direct as possible. Cut down on the ramblings and the "second date" stuff.
Just go with "meet in a public place in the daylight for a beverage or a light meal and hopefully we would hit it off with a great conversation and seeing if the chemistry is right."
Thats what I think. | |
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| rcj1158 Review
Posted: 5/2/2005 4:33:00 AM | k Ron, your turn.
Ok, about your headline, "Looking for a real lady".
Images that conjour up in my warped little mind is a checker, standing at the front desk of some store, you walk in and tell him you are looking for a real lady.
"Blow ups, rubber and plastic ladies are on aisle six, REAL ladies are on aisle 7"
Seriously, thats what pops into my mind, wonder how many of 'da ladies this (or worse) conjours up.
Tip: Lose it and quickly!
Define "real lady"
Your opinion or definition, think everyone elses will be the same? Nope, not so my friend.
Come on, spice up that headline. Get crazy, creative and have fun. Remember, its the headline that catches someones attention first and foremost. Its what either catches their eyes and draws 'em in..... or blends in with the crowd begging to be skipped. You be begging at the moment. Well, your headline I mean.
Your pictures,
Your primary one is good enough. Lose the second. YOu look like a loud drunk, with the drink in your hand. Bad image there dude! Do you have any more pictures, perhaps with a grin or some form of a smile? 'Da ladies love that, they'll eat it up!! ha ha
"Dating Interests"
Know what? I am not even going to bother addressing this. All I am going to say is read previous posts in this thread and you will get my point. Hopefully you will get it between the eyes, and you will in turn expand and be creative here. Come on guy, pull it together. I can understand why you have gotten no responses or very little.
"About me"
"Laid Back yet driven..."?? NO, lose it.
Can you come up with a better line than this tired old thang? Are you sure you didn't copy your profile from others who have not had the benefit of my reviews? lol
"Funny, fun loving guy", standard throughout POF'ers. Get original, uniquely Y-O-U!!!!
"First Date"
You gotta be more hands on, I mean make a decision, make that call. Ladies expect us to be in control on the first date. To call the shots. Whether it is fair or not is irrelevant, it is what is expected. So none of this "It could be..." nonsense. Make a decision. What would you really like to do on a first contact date? And remember.... be original. None of this "Dinner and Dancing" stuff. | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 217 | |
| Longte
Posted: 5/2/2005 4:36:59 AM | Hi
Read through this with great interest
Be good to get an experts appraisal | |
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| Dutchman Review
Posted: 5/2/2005 4:51:25 AM | "Dutchman"
"Looking for out-of-box experience"
Hmmm, interesting headline. It is close to being unique too. But still needs something to push it over the top.
What is it you mean by "out of box"?
Two things leap to my mind when I see this headline.
First, I think I get the idea you seek someone who is original, not one of a hundred assembled at some factory and placed in a..... oh wait. A BOX. So you DO want someone who is unoriginal and quite possibly bland?
The second thought is you want a bike. There are two kinds of bikes you can get. Assembled or in a box. YOu want an unassembled, unexperienced, unridden untested type lady? Is that it?
Whew, all these visions, I got a headache.
Ok, lose the headline. Start from scratch. Be original and uniquely you.I get the feeling you are a funny kinda guy. Use this power for good!! Use it full strength to make a killer headline to attract attention to yourself.
"Dating Interests"
Suck. Try again. Be more specific and less broadly vague.
Look at Hairdo's review I did (A few spots up from this one). She was vague and said "everything". Do not leave open for interpretation these things as they will most certanly backfire on you always. Specifics!!
Your Pictures,
ha ha, the second pic, could it be anymore staged? ha ha, keep it if you like to create the laughs it will create. Lose it if that is not your intention.
The first, your primary picture, is a bit dark. The lighting is terrible, do you have something better or perhaps photoshop this one to lighten it up some.
The third picture, a very good picture I'd probably use as your primary!
Not everyone you will see on a profile is sitting on top of a mountain!
"About me"
Never start out, or even put anywhere in profile or e-mail, that you are a nice guy.
Nice guy = wuss.
Nice Guy = pushover.
No matter what you say feel or believe, it will be the stigma forever associated with
"Nice Guy". Lose it!!!
"Swing an occassional shoe"???? WTF, are you into fixing shoes or cutting rugs?
You focus more on who you seek, in the second paragraph, than continually focusing on you. Drop this down to be your final paragraph, the final thought you will leave for the ladies who will see your profile.
If you have a sense of humor, THIS is the place to use it. Have fun with this, loosen up. Its all words on the screen, no harm can come to you if you just relax and write what it is that makes you y-o-u. Maybe expand a little on your interests and express a few of your beliefs.
First date"
Keep it simple.
"leisurely stroll through an interesting museum, followed by coffee and pie at a local cafe' will do just fine".
We get you're a smart guy with some tastes in more cerebal matters and thats fine. Just be sure not to make it too smart or you will come off as a pompous jerk.
Just ease into it, take your time and definitely have fun with this!! I think you will definitely get some great hits once you tweak some.
Thats it for now. | |
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| keeley120 Review time.....
Posted: 5/2/2005 5:11:17 AM | keeley120
Ah yes, at last, Keeleys turn
Your headline, "SouthernCharmWithBrains2"
Eh, it's nice and cute. Lose the "2" if nothing else.
Your pictures, cute pics of the ones I can see. A few are rather dark, lose em (unless you can photoshop 'em to be lighter).
To be honest, I like the second and eight picture of you the best. You would not hurt my feelings if you lost all the other pictures except these two! Not only are they your best, with the smiling and the great poses, but thsy exude a certain feel, a certain air about ya.
"Dating Interests"
Lose "Reading & Cooking".
Too broad of a subject. You like cooking French pastries based on recipes from the 12th century? lol
You enjoiy reading the dead sea scrolls? Or perhaps Zogomats study of the blue oysters nostril cavaties? ha ha ha, ya see? Be broad, it is opn to interpretation. Be more specific and it gives less room for people to assume and thusly, pass you by.
"writing" is somewhat close to this line of broadness too, as is dancing for that matter. But you get my point. Plus, add a few more interests in there. Original and uniquely you.
"About me"
Keep "Very charming, flirtatious sensual kinda woman"
LOSE "--but never trashy--"
No matter how much a woman claims she is not trashy or whatever, guys will not believe it. Dont bring it up. If you do, guys will on some level not believe what you are denying.
Just like when us guys tell women we are "nice guys", most women (a generalization) think "pushover" or "boring".
Question, Why is it dso necessary to point out you have brains? In this section, as well as your very headline, you mention it. In the About me section, this is your chance to convey what kinda brains you have without keep insisting that you have brains. Otherwise this would indicate to us guys you have a BIG self image problem or have been told in past relationships that you were either dumb or too smart. Either or, it means baggage and an attitude best left alone.
End of my point, lose the "brains" bit. Show how you are smart and funny in this section. Use some of that humor to put across your points about who you are, what kind of attitude you have and so forth.
And please, shy away from the negatives as far as what you dont want, or men you want nothing to do with. That ain't gonna work and you are just wasting space and your time. Writing that you do not want "a trashy talker, stalker" is ludicrous. It slike asking dishonest people to be honest with you just because you said so.
"First Date"
My first issue with this is perhaps more of a regional thing.
"insert compliments when the situation is deserving"
You see, I am from the south. I do not have to be asked nor reminded as to when to compliment a lady. This sentence you placed here would indicate something of a sort. A true gent will know when and what to say with regards to how a woman looks, or responds to what she says, or how she carries herself and so forth.
Keep this section simple. Be specific and what you really woul dlike to do on a first date. Leaving it up to the guy i snice and all, but it helps for you to "clue" us in some.
Why would we consider taking you skydiving on the first date when all you wish to do is have a nice cup of coffee at an outdoor cafe while listening to come music?
Clue us in some, k?
PS, Leave off the last few lines of the First Date section. That whole "gold digger" thing, its a real deal breaker. Its crude and most guys will shy away from any person who even remotely claims that they are not a gold digger. I
"f you weren't, why bring it up? Someone somewhere muct have either claimed you to be, or perhaps you were."
We don't know. So instead of investing our time and attention to see if its true or not, we'll just hit "next". Not very fair to you huh? Lose the "gold dogger" stuff.
A lot of guys go through this thought process. | |
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| keeley120 Review time.....
Posted: 5/2/2005 5:52:20 AM | | ok jack...fair enough..i will change some things...but i just want to insert something here...for you and all others reading this...i am extremely and habitually somewhat sarcastic, but on a funny level...my profile, where i say...insert compliments, for example, was said in hopes of getting a smile...that's all...but if u misinterpret that, then i'm sure others do too...so i will take your advice, and try to cut out the humor...just see how that goes...as far as the goldigging thing...some rude person said that from reading my profile, i sounded like one...so that was my way of defending myself..but i guess it turned out to bite me in the end...tx jack...i'm gonna try it!!! | |
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| Sxcgoddess review
Posted: 5/2/2005 6:02:54 AM | sxcgoddess
I am not sure if you are for real or if its just one big ol act. But what the hell, ya only live once.
ok, Your headline, if thats the way you wana go, thats cool. It goes well with a few other parts within your profile. So it fits atleast.
So you are looking for "other Relationship", which to most guys mean you wanna boink buddy or something similar to that. If thats true, keep it as is. If it is not, seriously change it.
Your Pics:
Nice modeling shots, do you have any real, everyday pictures of you? You have a nice smile, find some actualy real, amateur pictures of yourself with that smile. I will not comment on your pictures any further because well, those comments would be rather obvious!
I really like your primary pic, you have a good smile!
"Dating Interests"
Please pay attention to spelling
Modelling"? What is that supppose to be? "Modeling", ah yes, thats correct.
Your profile up to this point is really setting up an image that you are a self absorbed, shallow person who just wants a good lay. This is the image I get from your profile.
You would be a great first date, "Wham Bam Thank ya Ma'Am" type, no second date needed with you. Easy, a big airy and looks are a big thing with you. In part, they have to be because you have it written you like modeling and your pictures seem to back that up.
Try to write more in this section about you. What you really enjoy doing. Riding horses? Shopping? What kind of music you like? You get the idea.
Ok, "About me" section of yours....
"Danger", you are a danger seeker. I don't see it. There isn't anything that suggests this unless you find some thrill in coffee dates or have a high probability in geeting killed in some freak volleyball accident.
Skydiving, Bungee Jumping are good danger seeking things, but we need more!!
Cliff diving, running with the bulls in Spain. These suggest danger seeker. Storm Chaser, lion tamer, train dodging, these suggest danger seeker.
Now I am being honest and expressing my opinion. So here goes (better take a deep breath),
I do not buy your "I live life dangerously". Not for a second.
I know, thats my opinion, nothing more.
But from your profile, there is nothing there to back it up.
You model. Models don't take chances that could muck of a budding career. You will in time get your moms "seeking" company and or be CEO and you enjoy doing that. This doesn't sound dangerous at all. It does sound fun though.
Guess all I am saying is to share more of this dangerous, adrenaline rushing activities you like, and more of your attitude of who you are. What is it that makes you y-o-u??
Come on, loosen up and share. Show the world what you are like, not what you do for a living or that you work with your mom (thats kinda... la... never mind, lose it altogether)
Maybe even get a little into how you got into bungee jumping and such.
"First date"
Eh, You giving us a choice of three?
Narrow it down, be more specific. | |
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| Sxcgoddess review
Posted: 5/2/2005 6:25:29 AM | | ok dr. jack...plz review my profile after makind changes you suggested...if i catch a great fish, then u'll be added to our list of people we love most...if not--well, i can't reveal that yet...heheheheh | |
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| Sxcgoddess re-review
Posted: 5/2/2005 6:36:12 AM | "Southern Charms"
Dr. Jack is in for your follow-up visit.
You have a picture (the second I think) where it looks like you are laughing. Very nice pic but dark :o(
Can ya lighten it up some way? It would be a great pic!!!
Didn't notice it before, but change this sentence:
"I'm a mother of 2 teen girls, currently attending nursing school"
You have two teenage daughters going to nursing school? The sheer brilliance they must have!
I am a little leery of the "spoiling" aspects in your "about me", guys are a bit hesitant about women who point out how they dont mind being spoiled even once in a while.
Danger Wil Robinson, Danger!
Can ya rephrase it just a tad?
Work on the first date just a tad. Give us guys a little better clue as to what you'd enjoy. We need all the help we can get. As I stated in a previous post, why let us assume you'd like to go skydiving when really all you would have loved to do is get some coffee at a local coffee bar. Ya know?
Watch the spelling, a few words are a little "creatively" spelled. See your "Dating Interests".
What happened there by the way? You went crazy with the cooking. Take the broken sentences you wrote there, move 'em down to the "about me", which will be a much better fit, then add more of your interests.
Thats it, thats my prescription for ya! It looks better, definitely better! | |
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| Sxcgoddess re-review
Posted: 5/2/2005 6:53:09 AM | | wow jack...u're killin' me here..u give self-esteem sessions too? lmao--kidding..tx hun | |
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| keeley120 a few follow-up comments
Posted: 5/2/2005 8:09:51 AM | Keely,
Now THAT IS MUCH better!
2 or 3 totally uniquely you interests!! Bravo!
Keep 'dem pics too! Love that smile!
Good "About me" and very positive. Great job!!
Your first date is definitely good too. Congrats, you passed! Ya "did done real well".
That, by the way class, is southernese for "a job well done!" | |
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