Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Single (never married at all) men over 45      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 326
view profile
History
Single (never married at all) men over 45Page 14 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
~OT~ My step-father and my Mother were together 24 years and never married. When they parted ways, my step-father married for the first time. I think he was 54 or 55 (not sure on the exact age.) Clearly he didn't have commitment issues, he just happened to love a woman that didn't want to get married. So there are "reasons" for some having never been married (obviously!!) For me personally? I used to prefer those who'd never been married and had no children. In time, I began to see vast differences between myself and nearly every one of those men. When you've been married you likely learn the fine art of the day-to-day that comes with being with someone for years on end and it can be dull, boring, and routine and that is something that I knew, yet those I was involved with had no clue about. The difference in life experiences caused angst and discontent, unfortunately. Although I'd not rule out a never married man today ~ it would be imperative to me that said never married man had at least lived long-term with someone. I don't see never married people as faulted or flawed, just vastly different life experiences than my own. I prefer those who are closer in like-mindedness to me. JMO
 seamaiden11
Joined: 11/4/2009
Msg: 327
view profile
History
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/16/2011 7:31:52 PM
I am 46 never been married,Have a 21 year old.
Was with the Father 17 years.Been apart 5 years now.I was engaged to him but just never got to that point to plan a wedding.He had some issues and I really didn't want that in the marriage.So YES I still want to get married when I find that real person for me.
 djb65
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 328
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/18/2011 3:49:27 AM
I'm 46 and never married.
Why?
I never found the right person.

What doesn't help either are the married people and those who lie who make this site into a minefield and make it difficult for the decent and honest people who are on here. People who lie or who are married and don't specify it in their profiles should be kicked off this site, have their email addresses recorded and be banned from here.

My last payslip shows 747L tax code. That proves I'm single.

I don't chat with large numbers of women on here either. I'm looking for a relationship, not running a lottery.
 timestandstillfla
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 329
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/18/2011 7:52:09 AM
Well, when I was 20 I set out to get a band together & we busted arse for 8 years and then it fizzled. I picked the pieces of what I've let go by the wayside in those years,,,,and basically I still want to try again. Why tie myself up legally to someone that may have monthly mood swings??
 hammertownguy62
Joined: 8/30/2011
Msg: 330
view profile
History
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/20/2011 9:08:14 PM
My fiend got married in was 55.... He finally found the right woman ...

Nothing wrong with him.

He is a GREAT uncle for his two sister's children.
 uhha68
Joined: 9/18/2011
Msg: 331
view profile
History
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/21/2011 8:23:08 PM
well for me it just took awhile to grow up, and shed the past dysfunctional issues from my upbringing . had offers just couldn't say yes. ready now lol never to late.
 Megaladonfishy
Joined: 5/7/2008
Msg: 332
view profile
History
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/21/2011 11:09:21 PM
personally, in my experience, honesty has me down as divorced, but it's a technicality. That said, interaction with others who have basically been single their entire life, and also the ones who never had kids, bring less drama, less baggage, and usually a better attitude than someone who stayed in a bad or abusive relationship for the kids sake, or someone who was cheated on by a longtime spouse, or got screwed in their divorce... just an observation and personal opinion
 plantcare
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 333
view profile
History
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/22/2011 7:50:05 AM
There are some people out there, including myself who refuse to SETTLE for someone who is wrong for them. I would rather stay single for the rest of my life than get involved with someone who hurts me in any way.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 334
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/22/2011 9:34:00 AM
Between my profession, my dysfunctional family as a child, and poor options... It just never came up. I've never asked.

Before 30, I wasn't financially ready and I wasn't sure I wanted children before I could afford to give them a better life than I had growing up. After 30, my dating choices have been most often women who were divorced with children. Most with serious trust issues and a poor attitude toward men in general. Throw in a high occurrence of married women making sexual overtures toward me over the years, a high incidence of obesity in women past the age of 35, and I found myself questioning the institution of marriage altogether. Never mind the high incidence of divorce.
 darknight48
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 335
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/29/2011 8:09:59 AM
well some of us only want do it the once/when say them words mean them/old romantic hope that helps
 mopar_runner
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 336
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 10/12/2011 4:29:24 PM
Once a man has reached 45+ and watched the destruction that divorce brings, he asks just what value is a marriage at this stage in life. As far as I can see, there is little to no value. Having children is pretty much out of the question for most of us. Companionship might be the only tangible benefit provided old habits don't drive each partner nuts in a few years (or less). Otherwise no nagging, no middle-age woman issues to deal with, no chance of losing a lifetime of wealth due to divorce after a few years, and so on.

I really think the marriage scale tips well in favor of women as we get older and away from men, assuming it was ever balanced to begin with.
 hammertownguy62
Joined: 8/30/2011
Msg: 337
view profile
History
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 10/12/2011 4:46:30 PM


I'm 46 and never married.
Why?
I never found the right person.


I got engaged when i was 45...

I did find the right woman finally...

She passed away ....
 abit5150
Joined: 4/7/2011
Msg: 338
view profile
History
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 10/17/2011 6:12:48 PM
From a woman's point of view, when I see "single" and "longest relationship was 6 years" or whatever it may be, I see red flags. It says to me " cannot commit". It may not be true, but when you're scanning profiles, that's something that stands out, right wrong or indifferent.
 threestring
Joined: 10/7/2011
Msg: 339
view profile
History
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 10/17/2011 7:45:29 PM
And I wonder if my putting down 3 years as the longest relationship is a red flag when most I see are greater than ten years. I have never been married, the best reason I could give is timing. Even had one woman I was once with run into me 10 years later and she questioned me why I never asked her to marry me. She seemed to have forgotten she was the one that told me not to think our relationship was serious and was the one that left for more exciting fair. Ten years later with him she realized I was not that bad. I decided not to remind her she was the one that did not want to get serious.

If the timing were different in a couple of cases I probably would have ended up married. May still happen yet, who knows.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 340
view profile
History
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 10/17/2011 8:44:01 PM

From a woman's point of view, when I see "single" and "longest relationship was 6 years" or whatever it may be, I see red flags. It says to me " cannot commit". It may not be true, but when you're scanning profiles, that's something that stands out, right wrong or indifferent.


I've often wondered if this category was meant for single dating only. If not, the programmers should have set a higher number. However, many probably take it to mean married or dating. So it's all in the context of how the person perceived the question.
 Tim_Nice_But_Dim
Joined: 10/1/2011
Msg: 341
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 10/18/2011 9:30:17 AM
Everyone is different. Tuka - simple as that !

We are so conditioned by society to be married or live with someone and or be in a constant string of relationships. The fact is there are more people than ever living by themselves. I certainly dont think of it as a negative thing. A lot of people enjoy their "own space" I am one of them. I enjoy being in a relationship too. Why, I think I would even consider marriage at my old age !
 Tim_Nice_But_Dim
Joined: 10/1/2011
Msg: 342
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 10/18/2011 9:38:17 AM
Why, that just fits my criteria perfectly!

I think the simple fact is Abit5150 is that men are programmed to seek many partners. This is what makes us successful as a species ! Having said that, I very much believe in monogamy in a relationship. I do find it hard to commit for long though that is the problem or is that my programming or is it just an excuse (help ! )
 hello2u2012flazy
Joined: 9/13/2011
Msg: 343
view profile
History
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 10/18/2011 9:39:00 AM
this is all mine single and never married over 45 plus no children i have this down
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 344
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 10/18/2011 9:43:54 AM
my woman, kids yes.
marriage? uhhh not so much
 Joe80035
Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 345
view profile
History
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 10/18/2011 11:55:51 AM
I can only speak for me. I do not think I knew out to be in a relationship. I might be more complicated than that. I am just learning how if I want someone in my life its more. its not about me.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 346
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 10/18/2011 2:38:37 PM

From a woman's point of view, when I see "single" and "longest relationship was 6 years" or whatever it may be, I see red flags. It says to me " cannot commit". It may not be true, but when you're scanning profiles, that's something that stands out, right wrong or indifferent.

That's a perfect example of how people shoot themselves in the foot by using a ``red flags'' to make unwarranted inferences in an attempt to take shortcuts to finding whatever it is they are looking for. As it turns out, I'm single, over 45 and ``longest relationship was 6 years.'' I'm also engaged to someone I met here whom I started dating 2 years and 5 months ago (which is about a year longer than my second longest relationship). She's also the only person to whom I've ever given an engagement ring. Fortunately, my fiancee didn't seem to realize I was supposed to be a bad risk.
 zeeba2
Joined: 11/21/2008
Msg: 347
view profile
History
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 10/18/2011 4:14:20 PM
Yay, abelian! Good on you.

Assumptions about never-married, divorced, widowed, and any other permutation -- are just that, assumptions. I've been careful throughout my life not to make snap judgments about one's marital status. (My exception is for those who are married, yet looking...well, you can probably guess my judgment for those individuals!)

In turn, I never wanted anyone to look at me and assume, "Oh, she's never been married. Obviously, an old maid man-hater with umpteen cats...or worse!" I do confess to the one spoiled cat. Hey, everybody's gotta have some weakness!

Longest relationship up to the point that I met my sweetie? Gulp. How about...six months? Does it count that the guys didn't want to be serious about relationships, and I did? How about the fact that during my 20s and 30s, I resided in rural communities in which no eligible, interested, single men lived?

See the problem with assumptions?

And, here's the real problem with them -- I met my sweetie three years ago; he's seven years younger and also never married, no kids; AND here we are, engaged! According to assumptions, we were both horrid risks for long-term relationships. Yet here we are, happily planning a wedding and merging lives, households, and several spoiled rotten pets together.

I don't get as angry as I used to about these issues (one of the benefits of growing older?) but I really do believe in speaking out when others rush to conclusions. Best advice from this zeeba: Do keep an open mind and while we should learn from our experiences, don't impose all the past upon the present.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 348
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 10/18/2011 5:29:31 PM
^^^^^touche, you sound a lot like me as far as your relationship history and people making assumptions...Congratulations, I thought that you would marry this man !!
 darngoodsinger65
Joined: 10/13/2011
Msg: 349
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 10/18/2011 6:03:03 PM
Agreed...I understand what you mean.
 kje_67
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 350
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 10/21/2011 2:20:53 PM
" It is not where I wanted to be. Never would I have thought twenty-five years ago that this would be the case. "

Yep. But I'm not quite yet 45. ;D

I refuse to go past page one of this thread... but if there are really _that_ many guys using a status of 'single, ' (to the point that woman would need to question the status) that really are 'divorced,' well... all I can say is that obviously honesty is no longer considered a virtue. Sad. Lying from the get-go... I dunno; they must be looking for "short-term" encounters, I'd have to think.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Single (never married at all) men over 45