| | Single (never married at all) men over 45Page 19 of 25 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25) | I wonder sometimes yet I have avoided marriage due to watching my parents wretched experience. Those engagements I had, I am so glad they didn't evolve into marriage due to the legal and financial crippling that come with divorce. And watching friends go through horrendous divorces, it seems reasonable to avoid.
I lived with a man for 8 years yet wouldn't marry him due to his financial irresponsibility. I didn't want to be the accountant, or ruin my great credit etc. Living together is just fine. The only down side is being denied seeing your loved one if they are hospitalized or dying. This is being changed now though.
If a man has never married and never lived with someone, then I would run. I met a man once who was in his 40s and had never been with a woman. He worked at Microsoft, of course. | |
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Fifi47
| | Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 452 | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 2/29/2012 8:20:12 AM | The same reason that some of us have only been married once. Some people have been married 2 or 3 or more times, and are still miserable. I can honestly say that I have learned a lot from witnessing this foolish behavior.
I am very cautious now when entering into any type of relationship. I am VERY happy/comfortable living alone with a couple of animals. (pets)
I won't even consider dating anyone unless it is someone that I can picture myself in a LTR with, if things were to evolve into that...........though I would love to be in a relationship for all of the RIGHT reasons.
I am old enough to know what I want.... and smart enough to know how difficult that is to find. | |
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DRFK
| | Joined: 2/4/2012
Msg: 454 | |
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Fifi47
| | Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 455 | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 3/1/2012 3:35:33 PM | yorklass, re: "i find it rather odd actually that a man or woman has got to their 40s and never married got no kids"
I didn't marry until I was 40 and only then under pressure, she was pregnant by me, etc.
Part of it was wanting to be free to pursue and land beautiful women and not be tied down to one, part of it was having cohabitated with women I didn't judge to be lifelong partners for myself, part of it was seeing marriage as an awful trap for a man, and part of it was just not wanting the responsibilities of children and a mortgage, etc. along with a woman who was busting my balls at home. None of it had any appeal to me.
However, I never cheated on anyone, I'd let a few months go by between girlfriends, I never lied to anyone...if they wanted to marry, I just declined it and asked them to move on if they had to, etc.
When I found myself as a husband, father and homeowner with a good job, etc., though, I loved it! My marriage didn't work out, she finally found someone much better for her than me, but since then I've very much wanted a stable marriage and never could quite go back to playing the field.
Everyone is different! | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 3/1/2012 4:00:57 PM | It's all so individual isn't it? I like to think I don't slot people into a confined little box all neatly labeled with ingredients listed, until they have had a chance to show me who they are.....but....
I admit that what I would be watching for in this situation (in getting to know someone more around 55 and up) is how he interacts with people, how he describes life events and his observations of others, his levels of insight and wisdom and kindness...his attitudes towards women. I'm doing that anyway as I get to know someone, but I'm thinking that I would be really conscious of his demonstrations of those things. Because....
Marriage teaches us sooooo much about ourselves, about compromise, about sacrifice, about what it means to love, about emotional intimacy....I would want to know, marriage or not, that he had a true sense of these things. And, oh yeah, HUMOR....because when I get home from work & he shows up at the front door in his cowboy boots, his bathrobe and a tennis racket in his hand saying: "There's a damn bat flying around the house---you're going to have to get it--I've tried!!" ----he's gotta know I can't help until I'm aaall done laughing at that picture! Ego just has to take a hike some times. | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 3/12/2012 8:22:54 PM | I know why I have never gotten married. Simply put.... I NEVER found the "right one".
It seems like people get married, end up divorced with kids suffering all for what? I think just so they can say "They tried it at least once!" Yes, I know MANY people that were married and married for all the wrong reasons. Give me a break. I think people like me are smart enough to know better, marriage doesn't last these days, that's only the oldschool. | |
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Emil50
| | Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 460 | |
| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 3/14/2012 6:33:57 AM | | I've never married and I have no children. Once upon a time I wanted all that in my life, but I gave up all hope of that about a decade ago. My childhood was not particularly happy, probably because my parents were not happy in their marriage. As I grew to adulthood I witnessed many relatives and friends go through the whole wedding to-do, then can't wait to procreate and then within a short time divorce, leaving two families and whatever offspring they bore to live with the consequences. So before anyone has any preconceived ideas about genuinely single men over 45, or disbelieves their description, maybe think again. I know I didn't set out for this situation in my life and the last thing I want to hear is a stranger s or make a disparaging comment. There's wrong people of both genders in the world, hopefully not all are. | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 3/14/2012 2:26:37 PM | Well, I waited until I was 32 to marry. I just didn't want to make a mistake.......
Some think because they aren't married they can list "Single" as their marital status. This is totally incorrect of course but many men and women do it saying they don't wish to be defined by a failed marriage! Funny. | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 3/14/2012 4:40:07 PM | | Chances are they are divorced or separated and just put single. Does not mean they have not had relationships. Some people just live together and we are not all marriage mad either. | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 3/14/2012 4:42:06 PM | chulo malo2010
If you put what you do in your profiles, then you wont find anyone to marry and seen as commitment phobic which I guess you are. That is okay and marriage is not the be all and end all and most men cheat anyway do they not? | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 3/14/2012 4:43:16 PM | fifi47
you do not know that the woman was not keen to marry either. It is rather narrow minded of you and every situation is different. If you can afford to run from those men then there must be plenty to choose from. | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 3/14/2012 4:45:34 PM | megaladonfishy
I agree the multi marriers are the ones to watch out for. Americans in particular seem to go for this, a lot. Any more than two and I am wary. Okay one may have died and a divorce is not uncommon. | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 3/14/2012 4:55:23 PM | risingmist
A man over 45 who is a virgin is a worry but not necessarily one to be suspicious of if he has not married necessarily. It could be that there were heavy family responsiblities or they couldnt have or didnt want children and saw no reason to marry. | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 3/14/2012 4:58:22 PM | emil50
If you think reverse psychology works I think you are wrong!!!. Men with a lot more going for them do not get contacts on dating sites and why would anyone waste their time contacting you even out of curiosity??. Sometimes we do not fall in love and are not willing to settle for what we can get and that does not make us less of a person or more deserving of suspicion than one who has actually married and is abusive or being abused in a marriage for instance. So no judgement there. | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 3/14/2012 9:37:56 PM | I am Single, Never married, no kids,
58 yo going 59 yo
I have never met a lady, who I want to spend the rest of my life with,
Who i Want to wake up with in the mornings for the rest of my life,
My Choice
I can understand ladies worrying about their age and not being married,
Too many friends have been taken to the cleaners by their Ex’s | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 3/15/2012 6:05:55 AM | | I never got married because I am a rebel; life is too short to waste always concerned with keeping up with others and worried about whether you are "normal" like everyone else. | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 3/15/2012 11:31:57 AM | single.
never maried.
no kids.
to some the 'why' is evident upon viewing my profile
--[i'm a realist]--
to others I'd say:
And it's a durn good thing I never did marry and/or have kids.
their lives would have been a mess. | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 3/15/2012 2:06:45 PM |
Ingemouse: Ah well, everyone deserves a chance, but it does make one wonder if there was some serious commitment phobia in play.
I find that statement pretty funny myself - seems most of the women I meet these days, who have been married a couple times generally, are the ones who "will never get married again". Me, I'm totally open to the idea with the right woman. | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 3/15/2012 4:08:08 PM | | I think these days it is more common...my parents marriage (and nasty prolonged divorce) made me avoid it although I got close and was engaged 3 times. My preference is to live together. If I see that someone hasn't been actually married, I ask them about their deepest relationship. If they haven't had that yet at a mature age, I would avoid proceeding. | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 3/16/2012 6:36:35 PM | OK I' not a guy but am in the single never married category. Was a single parent which took alot of my time and had a career. Though I had dated and lived with guys none of them were the one I felt I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and to me that is what you get married for. Not just to be married. Do some men use it to deceive people? Probably, but that is why you take your time to get to know someone before hooking up. Dating is a gamble and sometimes you meet winners and sometimes loosers, but I think it is unfair to make harsh assumptions based on something like their status. OK I'll get off the soap box. | |
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| Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 4/1/2012 10:37:47 PM | | I'm an over 45, never married women...truly single. I wonder what men think of that? And I don't think I'm a loser...in fact, I'm a catch. But, I haven't married because it never has entered my mind. I do believe in relationships, and long ones, they just didn't work out as the one and only relationship. I hope to find that, but I don't need to marry to have it. | |
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