| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/22/2007 8:36:52 PM | | I wonder if the OP got beaten up by other guys because of this thread ..... lol ..... but you cant sum up like that about all men ... or at least let there be some mysteries about the two sexes; after all, the essence of romance is uncertainty, right??? | |
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/23/2007 6:42:36 AM |
We all need to accept responsibility to our actions even though the intent of the action may be misinterpreted - we all play a part when a situation goes awry or if there is lack of communication.
Tiffifish, I totally agree that we need to accept responsibility for our actions, and we MIGHT all play a part in a situation where there is a lack of communication, but that doesn't mean that we need to take responsibility for someone misunderstanding us.
For example, I had a date with a guy, gave him NO signals that I wanted him to get close to me, and I was dressed in a respectable manner. He kept sliding closer to me and I kept sliding away. My body language clearly said, "Back off, idiot," and my tone of voice was forbidding. When he put his arm around me and started massaging my upper arm, he finally got the message when I YELLED at him (in a public place) to get away from me.
We can present our intentions, speak them aloud, but some people still don't get it. Many men still believe that when a woman says "no," she doesn't really mean it. Everything is subject to interpretation, but there is the matter of respecting what people overtly say instead of assuming that they mean the opposite of what they say. | |
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/23/2007 1:29:21 PM | Women need to learn that men need and require sex.
Men need to realize women need attention [emotional] and romance.
Once we all learn these two simple things, the sooner we can all get on with life. | |
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/23/2007 1:56:39 PM | Wonderfully said/exposed by the poster in msg 6:
What they don't get is that they're placing a value on their vagina that is all about controlling their relationships. They think they can use it to buy exclusivity and committment, never realizing they're feeding the very behaviors they detest. They don't understand why some men expect them to drop their panties just cause they (the men) dropped a lil coinage on them, yet they expect men to commit to them just cause they gave him a of their prized kitty. What kind of madness is that? Until we stop placing these values (of expectation---"I do this for you, you do this for me") on our vaginas and start making love simply because we wanna make love, without expectation, this craziness will continue. | |
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/23/2007 2:31:09 PM | | When I read this post I though wow how old is this guy he must be young..turns out he is 47 years old and still thinking like a boy. Men like sex but I don't know how many times men in the forums have repetedly said that is not all men want..yes they think about sex a lot but that is not the be all and end all. We women get that some guys want sex and that is about all they want from a woman..what we don't get is the lying and deceiving that occurs just to get a piece..there are plenty of chicks who just want to get pounded as one poster pointed out..if this is all your after then go after them instead of stringing someone along. Makes sense to me but maybe I just don't get it..thats fine I don't want to get it..If I did I'd become so bitter and cynical that I would never trust anyone and that is no way to live! | |
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:09:13 PM | | Many men if not most do not want just "sex", they want to make love with a woman who inspires them, to give and receive pleasure/hedone. That is not "sex", it is much more than that. But as a poster eloquently put it, this love making should be without expectations (carpe diem). If it works into something more than that it does if not, the experience and the memory stays enshrined in their minds. What is more precious and wonderful than that, in terms of pleasures these days? Nothing, IMO. | |
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/23/2007 4:26:19 PM | If you are making love to someone who inspires you why wouldn't it turn out to be more? Not all relationships work out for various reasons but if your intent was to hope the feelings came after you were "inspired" to make love and give and receive pleasure..then love is not likely not going to happen..if you already really like the person and see a future of some kind with them..then sex does come with expectations.
The expectation is that they will be exclusive with you and be honest with you. If the guy puts it out there that he wants sex without expectations and if it works out it does and if not oh well I'll remember you fondly as a notch on my bed post. I f a woman says ok sure I'll take my chances. Then by all means enjoy it if the woman is not ok with this then move on to the next. I hope the post by nick is not what most men think about sex. It was a lovely post but basically sounds like a lot of nice words and phrases describing casual careless sex.JMO | |
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/23/2007 4:50:17 PM | Well, I have read some of the comments and I can say that women don't get it! I am in a, well I can say was, (4.5 year) in a relationship and I do NOT understand women. I will be 40 this year and I cannot believe the crap that goes on out there. When I was younger, I thought women didn't know what they wanted, then I got older and dated older women, now I am believing the same thing.
For anyone who cares, as fast as I can, let me explain. I have been in this relationship for about 4 and 1/2 years and I am told she wants some space but she tells me she loves and wants me around. Riiiight....... Well, I am now giving her the space and time she asked for and I think it's bullshit. What is time going to do? I believe that when someone asks for time or space, it is just a nice way of saying...... "I don't want to be in this relationship"..... I have done and been there for her a lot. In comparison to her ex husband I was much much better, yet apparently I cannot give her waht she wants. I don't get it. Anyway, there is a lot to this story and if anyone wants to know more, I can tell you but I do strongly believe women do get it and yes, there are men that don't get it either. Like they say, there are always 3 stories: his, hers and the truth. | |
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/23/2007 5:07:39 PM | > She's dressing to look nice so she can turn his head. There's female fishies everywhere and we gotta compete.
I don't think outfits have to be revealing to be sexy. Jean jackets and business suits look really sexy on some, dresses on others.
A little mystery never hurt anyone. | |
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/23/2007 5:11:00 PM |
For example, I had a date with a guy, gave him NO signals that I wanted him to get close to me, and I was dressed in a respectable manner. He kept sliding closer to me and I kept sliding away. My body language clearly said, "Back off, idiot,"
Some of us are really dumb and miss body language 
Then again there are people who are just out there to get laid. | |
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/23/2007 5:26:57 PM | Not all guys just want sex....I know, I know...it's a rarity, but there are guys out there that want MORE than just sex in a relationship! I want great sex (& maybe a little kinkiness! ), but I also want someone that I can care about, & be Romantic with, too!   | |
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:52:51 AM | I think the real answer lies in the fact that most women do not know what to really look for in a guy. Usually it's the jerks and @ssholes that get the women. I know, I used to be one. But if ya gotta change eventually, unless if you want to grow old, bitter and lonely.
GO FOR THE NICE GUYS!!
Here's why: (you'll understand after reading the entire thing)
Nice guys are B-O-R-I-N-G and P-R-E-D-I-C-T-A-B-L-E. Two things that turn a woman off. Jerks can sometimes even be nasty, but they seem to carry that nastiness with a touch of excitement, which is why most women will be attracted to a "jerk." This usually lasts until most of these women are in their late 20's or early 30's.
They are also attracted to the jerk because of the challenge to change them. Nice guys can initially give off an aura of being possessive and jealous which always turns women off.
Most women will later realize that nice guys are smart.
Smart nice guys have good jobs.
Smart nice guys with good jobs make good money.
Smart nice guys with good money provide a life of security and comfort.
Smart nice guys also make good fathers.
It takes a long time for most women to come full-circle on this principle. Nice guys are willing to provide security and comfort right from the beginning. Problem is, women in the beginning, aren't looking for that.
Women who don't wise-up until it is too late are the women with the drunk, battering, uneducated, unemployed husband. Now she has three kids and she herself is uneducated. She is uneducated because her abusive husband always "controlled" her against ever being smarter than he was. He was a jerk, and still is.
And now divorced with three kids, she says, "Why can't I meet a nice guy?"
Answer: They were there all the time years ago. Now with all your baggage, they are smart enough not to get involved with you! I see this story unfold on a weekly basis. My buddy works as a police officer and handles many, many domestics. Her kids will probably grow up to mimic the same negative experiences because domestic violence is a learned behavior. The son will smack his girlfriends and wife around because that was good enough for his mother. Dad did it all the time. The daughter will attract the same type of man her mother did. He will remind her of her father right up to the point of divorce. "
wow! that one sure hits home. Isn't it the truth though? Especially around here. I think this is a BIG REASON why I have always dated older women, or "proper" and "classy" women of the same age!!
The younger ones often annoy me and fall into that "20's and early 30's" group mentioned in the beginning. BUT, there are a few exceptions.
Hopefully you get a thing or two out of this. I see it all the time here in Nevada (I'm originally from Honolulu) and it's kind of sad.. But they made their choice. If you're young it's not too late.
seeya! | |
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:07:34 AM | Re msg 159:
"If you are making love to someone who inspires you why wouldn't it turn out to be more? Not all relationships work out for various reasons but if your intent was to hope the feelings came after you were "inspired" to make love and give and receive pleasure..then love is not likely not going to happen..if you already really like the person and see a future of some kind with them..then sex does come with expectations."
To promote the discussion, let us try to analyse the above syllogisms into its components.
Without expectations does not mean "one night stand INTENT". It means NO EXPECTATIONS. No calculations. Impulse! That is the nature of emotions. Expectation is rationale not emotion. It is left side of the brain thinking. Women are not supposed to be too focused on the left, they are supposed to focus on the right, that is why the EXPECTATIONS should, if anything be "expected" from MEN not from the WOMEN!
Plus, "Love" is not the same as "In Love". First one falls "In Love". Love takes a long time to be built between two people. Years. In Love/Eros is the emotion we are talking about.
Do we want the person we "meet" with to love us of the bat or to inspired and later fall in love with us? First things first, and without expectations. Cause expectations/calculations RUIN the impulse. Is that so hard for (some) women to "get"? One would expect Men to have a hard time with that, us being rational and caculating b****ards, not the impusive/emotions driven WOMEN.
Why can't women let things take their natural flow in affairs of the heart and RUIN the whole thing with longer term or "after this what" considerations?
Can they not grasp - "feel" that is takes all the Eros feeling away?
"The expectation is that they will be exclusive with you and be honest with you."
Exclusiness is but an "expectation" again! It comes naturally not forced upon.
Honesty can be expected by a man when the man does not feel "burdened" and "suppressed" by EXPECTATIONS. HOW can one expect IMPULSE and INSPIRATION under such "pressures" or EXPECTATIONS?
"guy puts it out there that he wants sex without expectations"
Love making not sex. Big difference!
"and if it works out it does and if not oh well I'll remember you fondly as a notch on my bed post."
Now that "notch on my bed post" notion is soooo faulty! A permanent place in one's memories and heart and "life album" is something to look down upon? I would think not! Why do some people want to possess the one theey claim they want to love or be in love with or inspired by?
A notch on a man's bed post or a slave in a woman's dependency syndrome to put is as faulty as bluntly? NEITHER is the answer!
" I f a woman says ok sure I'll take my chances."
WHAT CHANCES? The chance to have pleasure? Yes! The option to "buy" the guy or "tie" him into a "relationship". A relationship based on what? Insecurity or possessiveness or a need to be "coupled" (rather than an independent person??).
"Then by all means enjoy it if the woman is not ok with this then move on to the next."
Why move on to the next? Again the POINT is being MISSED. Why?
"I hope the post by nick is not what most men think about sex."
The post by Nick is not what Nick thinks about sex. It is what Nick thinks about love making and some womens expectation to be directly into LTR mode, to put the carriage in front of the horses!
"It was a lovely post but basically sounds like a lot of nice words and phrases describing casual careless sex.JMO"
By equivalence, the poster's post was lovely too but basically sounds like nice worlds and phrases describing why women SIMPLY do NOT "GET" IT! A relationship is not buying a house ot stock (eg stock options). It is impulse based and driven not LT expectations.
Re Msg: 160
"it says you men are ruled by your penis and the woman makes the rules as you have no self control and your mindless penis rules you. "
No. It says that boy meets girl is ruled by impluse and inspiration instead of the penus, the vagina or the "house". If being inspired and impulsive IS BAD and making affairs of heart choices based on LT calculative thinking iS GOOD, then "Houston we have a problem"!!
Affairs of the heart are driven by what the heart says and affairs of work and business and consumering by what the mind says. If we are to reserve that, what do we get?
The business of love? Yuck!
It seems that women lost their appetite to be inspired and impulsive in the area where both sexes are supposed to be THAT. Is that "Women" from Earth (as opposed to Venus)? Has to be another planet not Earth or Venus. Maybe eventually women will arrive to Earth. Hoepfully it is merely a stopover in Mars. To sighsee where MEN used to come from.
Both men and women are supposed to "use" their HEARTS as their "drivers" in Matters of Heart (rather than penuses, vaginas or the MIND/calculations/expectations). It seems that more MEN are TODAY using their hearts and many WOMEN their minds. Who is off base?
Cheers to all humans from all "planets"! | |
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:25:12 PM | Cheers to all humans from all "planets"!
Yep that just about says it all 
two concenting adults can do what they like, on this site there are men and women who got it all and looking for more, thats where it all gets confused.
this aint about a couple meeting up for dinner or just sex, its about trying to find someone you get along with on all levels or is it just a game that everyone is playing.
whts wrong with wanting a relationship??
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:36:59 PM | Both men and women are supposed to "use" their HEARTS as their "drivers" in Matters of Heart (rather than penuses, vaginas or the MIND/calculations/expectations). It seems that more MEN are TODAY using their hearts and many WOMEN their minds. Who is off base?
I agree that there should be no expectations from anyone about where something's going or what it is, but here I gotta disagree. A lot of women got into a heap of trouble blindly following their hearts around. Live and learn. We shouldn't use JUST our minds, but a healthy balance is much more productive. Love is never enough, there has to be a lot more to it than that. A bit of romance ::gulp, did I just say that?::: mixed with some common sense is a better formula.
I suggest men use their minds somewhat when it comes to this stuff too... | |
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:39:56 PM | | thank you nick for shreading my post to bits and pieces..you really did! I'm not even sure what to say..but I will sum up my opinion as..I use my mind in relationships and I guess that is wrong because I'm a woman and not suppose to think that way apparently. I certainly was not relating any of this to a one night stand..its more about a relationship that is new and developing. My heart does not think..my brain does. Look at the logical thinking there..maybe I should have been a man. LOL! The brain controls everything..therefore if you are suppose to use your heart in matters of the heart then really you are using your mind. So go ahead try and rip this message up but your mind controls every single act that you do and no one can argue that. | |
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/24/2007 3:41:18 PM | re msg 170 (as well as 168 and 169):
If this poster's previous post included too much logic and thus seemed insensitive, I apologise. OK, OK I give up. I will come clean! It is those "Married with Childen" episodes and re-runs with Al and Pegy and that other couple which, I guess, ruined the idea of LTRs for me!!! ** sighs** Caused me a trauma! And ever since I have been trying to "rationalize" the result of this trauma via logical syllogisms.
Uff! I said it. I came clean! I feel so much better now! I guess one remedy would be to date and marry Christina Applegate. Fat Chance! Or at least Cameron Diaz! FC, again!
(really, it is all the "fault" of pop culture which brainwashes us).
How is that for more sensitivity and more emotional thinking? I feel so much better now! I am free from the chains of uber-logic, "and I am waiting for you to follow me" (from "Tommy").
(Note to diary: I should have gone fishing instead of spoiling it for those lovely ladies) | |
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/24/2007 3:49:10 PM | Here, here !!! To the dating Christina Applegate thing,... No wait a sec, I think I mean christina aguilera I get the Christina's mixed up. Though would of course, gladly date either one of them. :D Should they deem, to lower themselves to my standard. 
PS,... Oooo they died of southern fever, of southern steel and shot. Though I wish it were 3 million. Instead of what we got. ( <=== brain fart, carry on most certainly. And most definitely.) :D | |
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| Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they?
Posted: 4/24/2007 5:35:41 PM | | Yeah..I just don't get it..oddly enough I'm ok with that. Why can't we all just get along? Screw this forum..I'm going to go have a glass of wine on my balcony and relax and not analyze a darn thing! I'm outta this place , its just getting way too off topic and we will prolly get this thread deleted..hopefully with any luck it will be deleted from here and deleted from my mind forever! | |
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