| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/17/2007 5:49:01 AM | your too chris. nice to talk to someone with a head on her shoulders... who has something interesting and valid to say....
cheers! x
shavorne | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/17/2007 7:31:54 AM | | sounds to me like someone that you would want as a life partner unless you always reminded the guy that you're the boss and you make more.... | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/17/2007 7:43:56 AM | whoever said "nice guys" and "independent women" are the new lepers.....
you may be right. Never thought about it but they are both just as repulsive. They are people that hide behind some type of mask... to appeal to someone for dating... and both are non attractive. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/17/2007 8:13:56 AM | Interesting ideas JWA.
Oh, and the "nice guys" and "independant women" as the new lepers? Since when has that been NEW??? Unless by new you mean sometime after the death of Christ...lol although there is some anecdotal evidence to suggest that they were lepers even in Classical times.
Bottom line, truly independant women are great. Posers suck. They are just as bad as players, just waste your time and energy. Me, I like my Shorty just the way she is thanks. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/17/2007 9:48:12 AM | I care little about a woman's financial success or material success or "independence"
Is she pleasant, easy-going, tolerant, intelligent, attractive (to me), non-judgmental, willing to put my happiness equal to hers?
That's what counts to me.
It's been my direct and very consistent experience that women who loudly proclaim their independence have had none of the characteristics I am seeking in a woman. No biggie... plenty of fish out there. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:14:15 AM | I've never had a self proclaimed "strong independant woman," hold a door open for me.
This is only like the 10,000th post asking the same question. Citing the same logic of: I have a car, my own place, a job. Therefore men must be intimidated by that. If that be the case, there must not be that many homeless women on the street.
If you have to proclaim it...you're not. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:42:44 AM |
I also want to say that for the couple of men on this thread that are totally being jerks no wonder you are single.
Soooooo....why are you on here? Are you currently in a relationship or married, no. Your profile states, seeking a man for dating.
For being such a strong independant woman, you sure don't take comments very well.
I have a feeling your one of those women that just takes on the badge and shoves it into a guys face. Men will only see that as a sign that you will engage in competitive attacks( I make more money than you, my car is nicer, yeah well I did this, etc.) to do little more than boost your ego, instead of working together to build a good relationship.
I've also seen the opposite of this. Women that will try and convince you that their life growing up was tougher than anyone elses. That is their position as to why they are strong and independant(since they may not own a car or have a higher paying job).
Time to take a check up from the neck up. | |
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rake_
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Joined: 7/16/2006
Msg: 59 | |
| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/17/2007 5:42:21 PM | havnfun you could make more money than I, be more independent, drive a better car, spit further, chew a bigger wad of tobacco and none of it would matter in the least
...what a foolish thing for a man to be concerned about....a boy perhaps but not a man... | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/17/2007 6:03:05 PM | | The only thing wrong with it is that it makes men appear inferior. Like they aren't taking care of their woman. Sure, there are some woman that are against that, or act like they are against it. But there is lots of resistance from society for a man who doesn't take care of women because if he doesn't people think its a sign that he is incapable. Not appearing incapable is the biggest downfall. No matter what our date or partner says. Those values are still there and enforced everyday in society and if someone thinks they are not influenced by that, they are just naive. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/17/2007 6:14:22 PM | Oh dear oh dear, what a pandoras box. I love it.
I'm like you sis, got my own stuff - as much as his and probably more than most and yes, I think you can see from some of the answers that it unbalances a lot of people but not you my dear. As long as you don't belittle or demean the man (which I'm sure you don't) then so what. He should be thrilled to go half and half - unless he doesn't like equality (oooh the E word yikes - what have I done now)
Thing is, for dating you're in the perfect situation but for long term, watch out for the gold diggers and the insecure neurotics. Once you weed them out you'll be fine. There are real men out there that appreciate a woman making a healthy contribution to the relationship. Doesn't that make them both better off?
I was recently told that at the gym, nowadays, the guys talk about their new gals EP (earning potential) not her bust size as in the old days. Doesn't surprise me at all.
It's a bit dumb though to take years longer to pay of a couple's mortgage just because he wouldn't let her make as much money as him so she kept herself underemployed. Rediculous and plain bad math. Go figure. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/17/2007 6:25:14 PM | | Tiny a womans EP is not a sign of true independence. In cases like this independence is a state of mind not your state of cash flow. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/17/2007 6:36:09 PM | Well, certainly an independent woman is not a turn off. A dependent women would be. A strong woman isn't. A weak woman is.
But I think it's more about her attitude.
A woman who says, "hey, I'm getting the check, OK?" and friendly offering to do so is different than a woman who says, "Hey, I can take care of that myself" with an attitude that shows she needs to do so in order to have control. Both women may be said to be independent, yet the first one has a giving nature, the second one is inflexible. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/17/2007 7:42:29 PM | Actually most of what you listed don't bother me and some of it I'd prefer.
The Solve issues on her own before getting help for instance. I like that. Too often females look for men to solve everything for them. Such a woman indicates that should the man not be able to be around due to life issues that she would not have to wait for him to return and fix the issue.
Also a man has no right solving her work issues. This is a positive thing.
Driving is great. I hate driving, can't see as much as the terrrain around you. It would be nice to have a woman share in such a thing.
Making more money? If money is ever an issue then someone needs help. I find money useful for two things in life. One, paying bills. Two, going on vacations. I don't find money useful for high living. So if she makes more oh well, as long as I make my share to assist the family. I've been there before.
Paying half the date.. Going Dutch as it is called..... Actually, I've never had that happen to me. Most women won't push the issue with me. Maybe its because before they get their purses open I already got the cash out and bill paid for.
Some independant ladies can be really a comfort, it all depends on their personality and what you call independant. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/18/2007 10:22:34 PM |
A woman instists on paying her half of the date?
Liked to drive 1/2 the time?
Made more money than you?
Would rather try to solve and issue herself before she would accept help?
1. Hmm, that means I'd spend less on dating and I'd be sure she was into me and not what I could give her.
2. Less work for me.
3. See #1.
4. She can make decisions for herself.
I like this kind of woman. I just don't attract that kind. I can "take control", but I don't want somebody who's always expecting me to be the bull. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/18/2007 11:40:19 PM | A woman instists on paying her half of the date?
Liked to drive 1/2 the time?
Made more money than you?
Would rather try to solve and issue herself before she would accept help?
None of these would bother me at all. I've been out with women who've paid half and one time I even got asked out and she footed the whole bill. {What a pleasant surprise}
The driving happens quite frequently I would think. Of course I haven't been on a date in several years, so what the hell do I know?
I've never been out with a women who has made more than me, but I absolutley would have no issue with that. More power to her.
This last question; "would rather try to solve an issue herself..." is what I feel contributes to any persons Independence, regardless of gender. The fact that a women is able to own her own life and not be dependant on a man for help is something I personally find very attractive - - - or rather admirable in a women. Although in any relationship each partner would bring individual skills where one or the other is more adept and hopefully these would be applied equally.
Conversely; I've know some women, while claiming their "power" back, haven't always been graceful. Often insisting on "doing it themselves" while their significant other was more capable of the specific task. Cudos for them, but sometimes not always practical.
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/18/2007 11:53:24 PM | In cases like this independence is a state of mind not your state of cash flow.
This is the "crux of the bisquit." This reflects into all aspects of gender relationships; socially, culturally, and religion. Well said. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:28:05 AM | Strong, independent women aren't a turn off at all......
Strong, indedpendent women who can't SPELL the word 'independent' ARE though........ | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:37:07 AM |
A woman instists on paying her half of the date?
Hell no I wouldn't have a problem with it. She can pay for mine to if she wants and i'll get her next time.
Liked to drive 1/2 the time?
Saves on gas i'm cool with that
Made more money than you?
That sounds wonderful
Would rather try to solve and issue herself before she would accept help?
Less work for me then | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/19/2007 1:44:39 PM | I think it matters more how you approach these preferences. Independance and strength don't have to be demonstrated with every issue or opportunity. I'm just imagining timing the drives so that both get half driving time LOL!!
If you approach it in a relaxed way - "you pay this time, I'll pay next", or "you drove last time, so I'll drive this time", etc. I think it would be ok...
I'm for my significant other to make all the $s she can, so no problem there. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/19/2007 2:17:18 PM | For example; Would it bother you if...
A woman instists on paying her half of the date? NO, cool!
Liked to drive 1/2 the time? NO, that would be nice!
Made more money than you? NO
Would rather try to solve and issue herself before she would accept help? NO, on the contrary! | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/19/2007 2:27:17 PM | Hav n fun,
These things you list are not really things to be concerned about. Anyone who is, may have some personal issues they need to address.
Independence and strength are two great attributes that would be admired and not frowned at. Independence is welcomed. Arrogance, one can do without.
:) | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/21/2007 6:14:49 AM | | personally, i'm very sweet, decent, and nice, but i'm also very independent in both mind and financially. re the financial part: i don't gravitate towards the avg. joe or jane. nothing wrong with it - just does nothing for me psychologically. i like being around both men and women who have a lot on the ball educationally and in other ways. like attracts like. | |
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