| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/21/2007 7:26:04 AM | I still think it has nothing to do with the woman being self sufficient.. applaud!
It has to do with the chip some seem to have on there shoulder about it and many come off as B’s..
I LOVE a smart woman, but not a B. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/21/2007 3:04:08 PM | I find strong, fiesty, independant women attractive. However, when a woman crosses the line into arrogance and conceit (I'm all that and I will settle for nothing less then absolute perfection from a man!) I find it a huge turn off.
Independance is attractive. But so is modesty. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/21/2007 6:17:12 PM | | My guy friends say I'm intimidating, but no one will say how or why. One says it's because I'm a very strong woman, but won't elaborate. I don't want to be intimidating, but I don't want to be a pushover either. I find it hard to find the middle ground. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/22/2007 11:34:36 AM | OK, your question.... in 5 parts (FWIW):
1) ...strong, independent women a turn off? - Never. They're the only ones I look for.... and the only ones who are attracted to me.
2)... always appreciated, but the first time I will pay because experience has shown me that it just works out better that way (no, it's not logical). After that, it's anyone's get.
3)... again, always appreciated....especially out West where towns are at least half-an-hour apart
4)... no problem. Even though I make good money, I have no problem if you make more. Compensation is always subject to the vagaries of the marketplace and I mean this in a nice way...
5)... this is the toughest one you ask and the one that really used to drive me nuts. Generally speaking, men try to solve things but that's not necessarily what you want. It would drive me crazy when I suggested ways to resolve a problem, and then she did what she was going to do anyway - so I don't give 'advice' now unless specifically asked. So solve away.... makes everyone's life easier, n'est-ce pas? | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/22/2007 11:38:57 AM |
I don't want to be intimidating, but I don't want to be a pushover either. I find it hard to find the middle ground
The middle ground is just to be yourself. Self confidence is the key. If a person has that then having to wear a badge stating your independence will actually never happen.
That is because you will have the confidence in yourself to do what is right and be able to let your SO do the same. | |
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| Are strong independent women a turn off?
Posted: 4/22/2007 2:49:40 PM | | It is not the independent woman that is a turn off, it is arrogance, opinionated views and their un willingness to understand another point of view or talk about some thing new, that may limit what can happen in the relationship; if they are not in control. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/22/2007 2:56:30 PM | Not at all. Wouldn't bother me in the least. But I was raised with four sisters and mom made it pretty clear that "fair" was the rule, so I may be the exception.
btw, I don't insist on my date paying for anything. I insist on the first, then it's up to her to offer. No offense taken if it is or not. Not a biggy for me. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 8/27/2007 5:22:53 PM |
For example; Would it bother you if...
A woman instists on paying her half of the date?
Liked to drive 1/2 the time?
Made more money than you?
Would rather try to solve and issue herself before she would accept help? Damn! You turned me on just by writing all that. I don't like women who want it all their way, but you said the magic word "half". As in half the cost of the date, half the driving.
As long as she wasn't being stubborn at my expense, like trying to keep solving a problem that is costing her time, and therefore our relationship time, when it would be more effective for her to accept my help, and she would gain no self-development by doing it for herself, and it is fairly obvious that I could help her on it, like it was something she knew I was experienced and knowledgeable in.
And as long as if I was making a lot more money and she is not making much money and she doesn't expect to pay half.
And as long as if she's exhausted from work and she lets me drive.
And as long as if I get a big promotion and I now make more money than her, and she is happy for the both of us.
I would then definitely find all this a turn-on. Big time. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 10/1/2007 4:31:00 PM | Personally, I am not looking for a career minded independent woman, and my profile so states, but congratulate those women who own their own home, their car, their boat, their business, dogs, cats, and other material things, and have been paying their own bills for some time.... but why express it in every sentence??? as I been paying my bills for years, but I don't brag about it... Welcome to the real world!! I personally don't give a rat's behind, if she can pay her own bills, can swap the engine out of her own car, or remodel her own bathroom by herself, big deal, so can a lot of us. Having to tout her " accomplishments" of the ordinary or expected, is where most men will take issue. So, she can stand on her own two feet, bravo!! for her, but in finding a means to do so, did she forget what it means to work as a team?? If men are avoiding her, perhaps that is the reason.
No I'm not insecure... quite the contrary, but then these women wonder what's happened to their relationship, when they have no time to spend with their SO, because they invest all their time in their career or business. As I have said before, if the money makes you happy... go for it !! | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 10/3/2007 8:14:46 AM | NO!! some of us guys like stong, independant women, putting it simply I dont want tro babysit my date, I want her to be strong and independent, As I do A lot of travelling with my Job!! I dont want her whinning about me being away so long, I want her to carry on with her friends and enjoy the time apart, but when I get back it is our time, to do what we both choose to do!!!  | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 10/3/2007 11:56:39 AM | | I have never ever dated a non strong independat women they bore me to tears Now alot of strong women tend to go toward the **** levels and look down upon men. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 10/3/2007 12:33:50 PM | Why do women think that being Strong and Independent is such a good thing? Vulnerability and dependence are pretty nice too if they aren't excessive...For women to state that you are so complex, you sure like to simplify everything... | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 10/3/2007 12:55:13 PM | A woman instists on paying her half of the date?
Requests, no. Insists? Why would a polite person insist?
Liked to drive 1/2 the time?
No. I get tired, too.
Made more money than you?
If she was willing to let me pay my way, even if it meant that half the time, we went to places that I can afford, then no. If she always pushed me to go to expensive places and she would pay, then yes. I don't like people who try to push me to do what they want and not what I want, too.
Would rather try to solve and issue herself before she would accept help?
If she tried to solve the issue herself FIRST, then no. That's self-reliance.
If she refused my help, even when she'd tried and failed, then she thinks she's the ONLY one with all the answers. No-one can do everything, and there are lots of thing I can do, that she can't. If she cannot respect that, she can't respect me. | |
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eman07
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 94 | |
| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 10/3/2007 1:07:22 PM | Just because you make more than a man, and insist on paying for half the date doesnt make you independent....
females love to throw that word around and then follow it up with.."no one wants to be with me cause im SO independent"...
You can be a cashier at wall mart and be independent, or you could be CEO of a major company and be independent.
I think these woman who yell and scream that they are independent are just a tad bit ****y if you ask me. If you have to yell it from the rooftops, then I really dont think you are.....
A woman who has two kids and gets no support busting her ass to pay for her two bedroom apt is more independent then woman who think "i make lots of money and dont let men pay my way".....IM INDEPENDENT...blech... get over yourself...
MOST men really dont care how much you make...more or less than us...dont really matter... | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 10/3/2007 1:14:59 PM | From what you listed in your original post, I don't think, but, I know that's the type of women I want.
Your profile isn't very good though. Your 2nd sentence is listing things you don't want. You are a good looking women but you have no description of your personality or interest. Try to rewrite your profile to bete describe who you are, in a nice way, and describe your perfect mate, but don't list 'must or must not have'. Those type of things you can filter out when you read their profiles. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 10/15/2007 9:06:14 AM | | to be honest i have heard many woman refer to themselves as being strong...and they where not..........im not sure what a real strong woman is.....or what the tenets of that are......the things you mentioned dont have anything to do with strength...........when i think of a strong woman i see hillary clintons face...because she stuck with her family even in light of what other woman and the public thought.....that was a show of immense strentgh....those issues you pointed out are meaningless | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 10/15/2007 10:12:12 AM |
Ok ....... I now think all these “are guys intimidated by us independent women that keep shoving it in guy’s faces” threads now out number the “why do women pass us nice guys up for jerks” threads. Ron, I wish I had written that!
Yes, many, many men have had enough of the ballbuster behavior...so a woman's question--are strong [obnoxious], independent [proud-to-intimidate] women a turn off--yes, yes you are. Which is why men aren't going after it. You don't want obnoxious, intimidating and abusive men (unless you do, then call the American Psychological Association for a referral); men don't want women like that, either. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 2/5/2008 5:00:46 PM | I'm here fire51 ! come and get me ! 
(only trouble is i'm in the uk and I probably don't earn quite as much as you  )
oops! just realised I'm on the ask a guy ! DOH ! | |
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