| Are strong independent women a turn off?
Posted: 2/6/2008 12:37:06 PM | | Strong indenpendent women are a turn on. However, those that feel the need to explicitly and repreatedly state that they are "strong independent women", rather than subtly demonstrate it, are a turn off. | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 2/6/2008 4:51:11 PM |
paying half - no problemo, but I'd rather I pay this time, she pays next - then we get to treat each other and enjoy it a bit more, rather than treat it like a business deal where we've negotiated fair terms.
- made more money than me - not a problem either - so long as she understood I may not be able to afford to do/buy/eat/drink/wear the things she does.
- problem solving - not an issue, but all men like to be considered useful, so even if she solves the problem, it would be nice to be asked how I would have done it. Just so I see she values my opinion, as I would value hers.
QFT - can't put it much better myself.
Independent and controlling are 2 sides of the same coin. i'm not going to play B***H
because i make less money than my partner.
Men are made for some things , Women for other.
I like Women with strong self esteem who want to be my partner. but when it comes down to it , its just that; a partnership , no matter who the bread winner is IMO. | |
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qwsd
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Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 105 | |
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qwsd
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Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 106 | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 2/6/2008 8:00:53 PM | Strong is a relative term, same as independent.
I like people who are strong, when strength is needed. The turn off is either gender making a big thing of it. The strongest people I know are the ones who make the least "noise" about it. They don't need to.
Independent as far as self-reliant, again more often than not genderless. I believe you can only rely on others for certain things at certain times. That's a good thing and also good to have those who depend on you. That's a part of relationships, ALL of them. Again, it's something that isn't worn like a badge.
When it comes down to the rubber meeting the road, we can only be happy with someone else when we've first learned to be happy with ourselves. Same thing with love, if it doesn't come from within ourselves, we can't give what we don't have. Trust...confidence...comfort..peace...it's a long list.  | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:15:09 PM | Are strong independent women a turn off?
Hell yea. I find Smart, Intelligent and Independent Women to be very Sexy. To be able to sit down and be able to talk, exchange idea and accept someone else's view is a major turn on for me.
The way I see it over time, the hottest body is going to age, the sex can fade but being able to have a intellectual relationship with the person you care about can take you till the end.
To answer the question, Yes... | |
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| Are strong independent women a turn off?
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:41:54 PM | Nope they dont bother me at all in fact its nice because it removes the whole pressure and financial aspect of dating.
In fact if I actually met an attractive executive woman with a six or seven figure income who wanted to work and have me take care of the home, I would gladly do that! Heck I love to cook and shop and would have my home business while she is jetting around making millions for us!!!
Unfortunately the sad reality is that 99.9999% of high powered women only MARRY or DATE UP a man with even more power or money in most cases.
I keep joking with my friends that only if I could meet a wealthy lady for dating and marriage who wanted a smart sweet guy like me who would rather play and take care of the estate than I would be in nirvana!  | |
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| Are strong independent women a turn off?
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:49:05 PM | I think the op made the thread to pat herself on the back instead of what she's pretending to do.
Nothing you mentioned equates being strong nor independent btw. If you were strong and independent, you wouldn't have made this thread. You wouldn't have given a shit. | |
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| Are strong independent women a turn off?
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:09:30 PM | | this entire thread has been a hilarious read......with some very insightful commentaries from male & female alike. the debate goes on....& on, as some so accurately mentioned. truth is, there will never be a black & white answer to this question. just spend time with those who fit your wants & lifestyle as there will always be someone to point out who you should or should not be, if you give them the time. life is too short. | |
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| Are strong independent women a turn off?
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:13:38 PM | Wow, these old crusty posts keep on popping up. But I will put my 2 cents in anyway.
I am looking for a strong and independent woman. I am also looking for a woman who also knows the balance between independence in a relationship and interdependence / intimacy. For me a truely strong woman knows this balance and is willing and able to go back and forth between the two.
You will find some guys want a woman they can lead around by the nose and you will find women who want the men to control them and everything around them 100%. To each their own as I always say.
I know what works best for me and I seek that out. But that is just me. | |
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| Are strong independent women a turn off?
Posted: 4/9/2008 1:06:00 AM | | I dont think that being a strong,independent woman would be a turn off to a man.I believe one thing that turns off both sexes is somebody who does a chameleon and pretends to be what they think the other person is looking for,as opposed to being true to themselves and totally genuine.~Kat~:) | |
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| Are strong independent women a turn off?
Posted: 4/9/2008 7:49:59 AM | It depends hugely on many factors which would need to be taken into account when talking to or meeting the person. I think what men and women do, if they want a relationship, is calculate the probabilities of a relationship with that person working or failing, depending on the knowledge they have at hand. For me, that is what I consider when I am in some sort of interaction with a woman that is not professional or in a formal context, and I want some sort of personal relationship with her. I would contemplate the type of relationship I wanted with her, and try to guess the probabilities of that type of relationship working or failing, taking into account what I knew about my own situation in life and also her situation in life, and also the qualities we have.
If I am convinced that no type of relationship is likely to work, given my reasoned analysis of the situation, I regard her as someone I could not relate to at a personal level and move on. Questions like the above are factors I would personally take into consideration, but they can't really be used to make a general statement or argument about the datability of women. 'Strong' and 'independent' and 'successful' are subjective value judgements, at least in the dating sphere. So in my view they can't be used as a general predictor of how I would interact with a woman before I met her, since I would only make these value-judgements after meeting her. The decision to reject her or to try and pursue something further, would depend on if she rejected me or accepted me, and also whether my rational analysis of the probabilities and factors in the situation indicated to me the chances of the relationship working out are good. | |
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| Are strong independent women a turn off?
Posted: 4/9/2008 8:26:24 AM | Nah... I like strong women.
Virtually all the women in my family (save one or two exceptions) are strong. So I'm kinda used to it.
However, aggressive women is a totally difference story. I don't like aggressive people period, men included. So yeah, aggressive women are a no no for me. We'd only end up fighting each day, every day, and that's no fun. | |
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| Are strong independent women a turn off?
Posted: 4/9/2008 10:06:55 AM | Are strong independent women a turn off?
What a retarded question.
Let me try one: are attractive, confident and financially stable guys a turn off? | |
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| Are strong independent women a turn off?
Posted: 4/9/2008 10:11:49 AM | Strong independent people are the only kind of people I want in my life. Weak dependent people are boring and an energy-drain.
I like getting to know women who know what they want and go for it.
A shrinking violet or a timid little mouse who runs into the closet may be cute but doesn't get much respect or deserve it.
Men who are inwardly weak and unsure of themselves want women to be weaker than they are so their own weakness and insecurity doesn't show up too obviously. | |
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| Are strong independent women a turn off?
Posted: 4/9/2008 10:23:52 AM | This is so true:
"I dont think that being a strong,independent woman would be a turn off to a man.I believe one thing that turns off both sexes is somebody who does a chameleon and pretends to be what they think the other person is looking for,as opposed to being true to themselves and totally genuine.~Kat~:)"
It's a worn-out old cliché yet it's still correct: To thine own self be true.
There's an analogy in politics. I despise Mitt Romney and Hillary Clinton not because of what they stand for but because they pretend to be whatever they think the audience wants them to be, instead of being true to themselves.
In human relationships, such as meeting a woman, I want to know who she is, not just what kind of a false front she puts on trying to impress others. It is insulting if she hides what she is in order to shelter me from seeing the reality, as if I am a tender child who cannot be exposed to the truth. Maybe she is scared of rejection?
If a person does not show who she really is, it leaves doubts about whether there is anything there anyway, and it leaves you suspecting that maybe there is nobody home even if the door opens so you can look inside. | |
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| Are strong independent women a turn off?
Posted: 4/9/2008 7:03:46 PM | Heck no, this would not bother me.
I am so used to meeting co dependent, imature and flacky type people.
If I could find a strong independent women, I just don't know what I would do. LOL | |
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| Are strong independent women a turn off?
Posted: 4/10/2008 8:46:34 AM | The more independent the better.... i would prefer her to drive all the time or otherwise we will never get anywhere... made more money than me would be good.. that would stop me offering pain in the arse advice.. altho i would always like her to value my insights... then come to her own conclusion.
But strong is the important thing.. that means strong enough to leave me when ever she wants, which means if she hangs around she must be in love or i am doing all the right things with my tongue... | |
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| Are strong independent women a turn off?
Posted: 4/10/2008 11:32:20 AM | Wouldn't bother me, I personally like it when the woman pays her half. If I'm dating someone its nice for her to take me out once in a while too. We usually trade off though, she'd pay for bowling, I'd buy dinner. I buy the movie tickets, she buys the popcorn and snacks. But I'm sure most do that anyway.
Driving? Sure, although I don't let anyone drive my car, so if she wants to pick me up, not a problem. I can ride shottie and relax.
More money than me, that's great! Less pressure on me to be the bread winner | |
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| Are strong independant women a turn off?
Posted: 4/10/2008 12:21:42 PM | Jimi 77
Very well said.
I don't like money to be an issue at all. I'm independent myself but here to become a partner with someone. Too many control issues before you get the chance to know the person. The money, the date, the car, the independent fixit myself is not the issue. Having the right attitude to share, communicate, respect, ect,ect,ect are just part of the dating ritual. Feeling superior will lead to being alone. Just my take. | |
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