| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/22/2007 8:10:14 PM | Back when I was in highschool, so it must've been a few years ago...My mom let me use her car to take my girlfriend home. Well, we had this special place about a mile from my house that we always parked and had sex (yea I know..it was weird doing it in my moms car, but I was a kid). The car was low on gas and I was going to get gas after we did our thing...but it was really hot, so I decided to turn off the car, but leave it where the air conditioner would blow out air. Well...nearly an hour later, we're both exhausted and sexually relieved...we get out to smoke a cigarette as always. Afterwards, I go to crank up the car and the battery doesn't have enough juice! It's almost midnight, and we're about a mile from any houses..So we walked about a mile to get to one of my neighbor's house (wasn't gonna bring my mom into it lol) and got him to give us a ride and jump the car off. Of course we had to explain what we were doing down in that area...
We get back to the car, and I decided to turn the key before I let him jump it off...and it cranked right up. I guess it just needed time to recover too... | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/22/2007 8:50:18 PM |
Sadly he never called me the next day
Just be happy the boa didn't get involved as well!
And for the "Not calling the next day" category.....
I always had my own apartment during my college years. I had been with this guy named John a couple of times and then we parted ways. A few years later, we got reacquainted, and he was over at my apartment again. He wasn't at all creative, gave me bad rugburn, and after the deed was done, wanted to know if I was on the pill.
I informed him that I was, but he asked to see it. I was pissed off...... kinda late to be checking it out. But I showed him, and then he got up and announced he was tired and had to go home! He kissed me then left.
I got my clothes back on in a hurry, then dashed out after him. While he was warming up his car (this was a New England winter) I knocked at the window and he rolled it down.
"I need to ask you something, too!" I said.
"Yes?"
"Do you have any STD's??" I demanded.
"WHAT!!??" he screamed. ME?? Who, MEEEEE??!! He was totally shocked.
"Yes, you", I said. "We hadn't discussed that either, and I really need to know!"
I was the deaf one, not him, but he kept asking "What?!!" "No!" He finally said. "Not I! You have got the WRONG guy! I'm not the TYPE to have an STD!" His shock was turning to anger at the sheer absurdity that someone would ever question that this clean cut guy would have VD.
Then he said to me, "Do you?"
No, but I just couldn't help it. I said "Yes, and now you do too!"
I didnt even wait to get a response or see the look on his face. I ran back into the house.
(I hadn't planned on that scene but I really was a devil!)  | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/23/2007 11:04:34 AM | | LOL!!! Wow, this conversation just keeps getting better and better. I can't wait to see what is still to come. Thank you all for making my day a little brighter! | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/23/2007 7:13:01 PM | | Was with my ex husband when we first started dating...We were going at it pretty hard he bounced me right out of bed and in catching myself I dislocated my finger (it was stuck bent straight up in the air) spent the rest of the night in the ER... | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/24/2007 7:30:34 PM | This didn't happen to me...
A couple I know, who had not seen each other in some time (due to work, or hunting trip, whatever) are getting pretty passionate with each other, and their little 2 year old comes into the room, takes a look, and says, "now mommy and daddy you play nice!" | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/24/2007 9:02:19 PM | Had a Girlfriend on top,on a couch,she slammed down on me so hard..this is no lie..broke my Right Tibia.
Man did she get POPULAR after that.
I could not go anywhere without a hat and sunglasses.
It's funny NOW.... | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/22/2007 1:47:42 PM | these are the funniest stories I've read !!!
Mine is more of a horror story...........I used to live next door to my parents.....was engaged, he came over, we ummmmmmm you know, and then the phone rings, and it's my Mother...she wanted to know if I was alright..........................! | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/23/2007 3:53:29 PM | | Went to check out my late husband's new workplace on a Saturday morning. Clothes went flying and we decided to try a mixing one of his wonderful mustache rides with the forklift way in the back of the warehouse. Suddenly we heard his boss walk in. Partner set a world record for getting dressed so he could run to the front & head the boss off in order to give me enough time to climb down and find my clothes. I never did find my panties. | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/23/2007 5:18:13 PM | | lol this one might sound kind of gross......my boyfriend was going down on me and you know (well only ladies will know) when your really wet and you have air at the same time.......my p***y farted in his face ..........i thought it was so funny but he didnt instead he looked like he had the wind knocked out of him lol !!!!!!!!! | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/23/2007 7:26:30 PM | | i dont think its that funny but i laugh at my self a lot so here goes..me and an ex were trying to have sex in the shower when he slip on the soap and took me down with him.while i was falling i some how hit my head on the back of the tub and blacked out when i came to i was in the bed.moral of the story dont use soap when trying to have sex int he shower.lol | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/23/2007 8:22:55 PM | Well I am not sure if I am going to regret sharing this embarrassing story but what the hell,...so here goes,......now that I think about it I have more then one! 
London Night's
Well my girlfriend and I attended this party out in London as friends of our were attending the university and asked us to come up and stay for the weekend,...so of course we took the train and headed up. When we arrived we were greeted so warmly and all was great. The house soon began to fill with people and we made a run to the liquor store and beer stores to make sure we were well prepared for the night ahead.
When we returned the house was packed,....the music was blaring and we joined the fun,....I ended up playing caps and got drunk very quickly as I was only 20 and not much of a drinker,.....a couple approached my girlfriend and told them that they would allow me to crash in their room until I was feeling better and able to join the party,...so my girlfriend thought nothing of it and continued to party as they took me off to their room. I was now at this point passed out completely,......I remember waking up to her man being down my pants and her suckling on my breasts...........
I looked around,....pushed them off me and ran downstairs to fill my friend in as to what had just happened to me,.....needless to say I stayed far away from them for the rest of the party.....LMFAO.........We eventually crashed and in the morning the two individuals who were apparently interested in me had made me breakfast,....No one else,....JUST ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Looking back on it I can laugh,...but at the time it was not very amusing as I felt violated,....had they asked me perhaps I would have experimented as I was young and carefree,....but they did not!
Hope you all get a good laugh at my expense as many of my friends over the years have. | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/23/2007 8:27:26 PM | Cunnilingus Please
So here is my silly story,....I am dating this man and we have been intimate and I am very shy and not experienced at all at this point,....I have talked to my girlfriend about men going down on her,...cunnilingus and how it felt and what I should expect,...so one day when me and my man are making love,...I get up the courage to ask him to preform cunnilingus,....he looks me straight in the eyes and says"I Don't Due That!"....OMG,...I felt like such and idiot and here I was trying to get up the nerve to ask him ,....so I looked at him and told him it was okay I was just curious and we continued to make love.
Afterwards when I was sharing with my girlfriend we laughed for hours,....since then I have found men that due preform and LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/25/2007 4:23:19 PM | | When I was a young feller... my girlfriend was having a very good time and started what seemed to be passing gas throughout the session. I learned later that it came from the other place... we both had a good laugh over it. | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/25/2007 4:53:20 PM | This one comes to mind .
Was about 18 at the time , and with an extremely hot girlfriend .
We would often stop whilst driving and go for it ,, we both liked a bit of adventure .
One night , on our way home from a night out ,she starts getting frisky , so we pull into this parking area near a lagoon .She loved doing it on the grass,something about it drove her wild , so I was more than happy to oblige.
Well we got all hot and bothered, and off came the pants , then the boxers,, and just as I was heading for heaven ,, I was attacked by a huge swarm of mosquitoes... they seemed to prefer my butt for their attack ,,,, needless to say , heaven didn't happen ,, and the butt wasn't a pretty sight covered in mossie bites.
All the way home ,, she cracked up laughing ,, al the way home , I scratched till the butt was bare . | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/26/2007 4:16:29 AM | they make bean x for passing gas,
don't think they make anything for what you are talking about, maybe some alum would stop it...
good thing what you are talking about doesn't have the "silent but deadly" variation..
still funny, first time i discovered "that noise", i thought i was doing something wrong, especially when she laughed...
then I kinda figured out,
laughter is pretty cool in most situations....
so is air in enclosed spaces  | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/26/2007 4:30:13 AM |
When I was a young feller... my girlfriend was having a very good time and started what seemed to be passing gas throughout the session. I learned later that it came from the other place... we both had a good laugh over it.
i forgot to add that !! | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/26/2007 7:42:28 AM | Happened to a friend of mine, but a bunch of us were one room over and he made the mistake of telling us.
He went down on her while chewing gum.
Spent about an hour down there trying to bite through hairs to trim the gum out without her realizing what he had done.
She later confided that he got points for trying really hard at what she thought he was doing but that he wasn't very good at it.
We still bug the guy about that to this day! | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/26/2007 11:17:41 AM |
She later confided that he got points for trying really hard at what she thought he was doing but that he wasn't very good at it.
that's funny !
wonder if it was "juicy fruit"
I used to date this lady, and we were pretty much always kidding with each other...
once while we were in bed she said, "it's so big"
i said " If i hold onto the head of the bed, maybe I won't fall in"
sounds mean i guess, but she laughed...
another time she wanted to try mescal, that tequila with the worm in it,
she got all goofy, and was dancing with her shirt off, and passed out, so I painted her breasts with some shiny black spray paint....
the next morning i forgot all about it, and i heard her in the other room mumbling something,
she came out and said " I got so drunk i painted my tittys"
I guess that sounds mean too, but she got me back... | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/26/2007 12:34:55 PM | Lord, I must have lived a colorful life: ( Got lots of stories, I'll try to abbreviate a couple. ) ~
Making wild passionate love after a big Sea Food meal, and she S#!t's the bed ( big time) in a 4 Star Hotel. I never let her forget I F---ked the S#!t out of her !
Making love in a freight elevator, door opens, she jumps back away from me, her skirt drops into place and I'm standing there with the best part of me standing at attention in front of God and everyone ! ( Well it was only the janitor, thank God )
Getting it on in the Ladies room at work, me sitting on the pot, her on top, going at it like two bears in the wild and we break the damn water supply line to the toilet !
Getting head driving up I-65 in Alabama at night, closer I get to letting it pop, the harder I'm pressing on the accelerator. 'Red light & siren' ~ damn, pull over , trying to get organized forget my fly's open. Officer Bubba shines light inside surveys the situation, tells me he clocked me going from 80 to 110 + before he hit the lights. Tell's me he'll let me off with 90 Mph ticket and tells me to zip up my pants !
Working late in the office, (Hi-Rise office building ~ outside office with big floor to ceiling windows) secretary and I decide to have a bit of pleasure before we quit and go have a drink. She's up on the desk in the prone postion and I'm whaling away big time.
I guess she climaxes or is close it, she raises up to hug me tight and screams and pushes me back away from the desk and runs out of the office. I yell "what the hell is wrong", she yells back, "Look out the window". Seems the cleaning crew in the adjacent building had gather to watch the fun. Oh well, next time, we'll turn off the damn lights !
There's a few, I got a few others which I may relate later, gotta go ......C U ~ | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/26/2007 2:28:56 PM | That really happened to me about 2 years ago. I went down on my girlfriend and after awhile she said she had to go pee. A few minutes later, she came back and said, "look", and there was a wad of my gum in her bush. I started laughing and she started laughing. I calmly got out my mustache/beard trimmer and carefully removed the gum. We are still dating and she has told that story many times. It was so funny at the time that the embarrassment went away.
Since then, I make sure I remove my gum. | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/26/2007 2:46:55 PM | what is it with oral sex and gum??
the nose is at the other end if you are worried your breath isn't sweet...
I wonder if they make gum that makes your tongue warm... | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:35:24 PM | "That Noise"
Ahh yes, girls we all know THAT noise, the one you just can't stop from happening and part of you wants to laugh and part of you wants to die the first time it happens.
Well my ex and I were going at it pretty good, and doggy is my favorite position..which I didnt know until now that "that noise" happens the most in that position. So, we are going at it and I lifted myself up onto my arms so I could turn and look at him, well wouldnt you know it, the room fell silent at the PERFECT timing for that noise to be heard. Well I started to blush and buried my face in the pillow and tried to pull away. He pulled me back so that the noise happened yet again and said "No no don't pull away..I want to see if I can get a different tone." ...
I swear I wanted to smack him at that moment in time, but we kept going and after a few seconds I was back in my state of ecstacy and I didnt care anymore.
It was rather embarassing but now that I look back on it....a different tone?!?! lol Like I am a musical instrument. >.<
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