| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 10/15/2008 1:36:21 AM | Hi every one
pretty funny stories going on in here ,,, guess some of you may relate to this:
The sequence 'd normally be my ex gf would have to be pleased b4 me for its normally easy for me to ,,,, just feel like doing no single move up/down,,,! you know it guys u won't sleep on same bed if u got 3- o straight trails. So there she had her share of the action and it was me struggling to make things happen ,,, for me,,, concentratin to put all muscles together and trying hard to get some where deeper/tighter,,,,,, when i opened my eyes ,,, she was checking her MISSED CALLS!!!! caught between two ,,,just decided to laugh it out and stop the other stuff. | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 10/15/2008 4:19:46 PM | hahah this is funny stuff...
well, here goes..
There was this guy I knew who was totally hot and I thought he was way outta my league, but we ended up back at his place doin' the deed.. well, once we finished with that, he was spooning me and we were just about asleep when, out of nowhere and completely without warning, I rip a loud fart right on his leg, which was touching my bum!
That in and of itself would have been humiliating enough if not for the fact that right before we got down to business, we were joking around about sleep-farting!
Luckily, he didn't say anything in the morning, he must have been too alseep to remember it, cause he's the sort of guy who would have given me a hard time about it.
Mental note: Never, ever, under ANY circumstances, share a carne asada burrito with your date before bed.. lesson learned. | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 10/15/2008 4:51:37 PM | | One of the funniest things that happened to me was while my mate and I were deep in the act I though we had damaged the bed, as it seemed to squeak with each move. The insesant pitch kept up and I sort of growled a few comments under my breath. It would not cease, even though I put a little "English" on my moves to try and adjust the squeak away without ruining the moment. Even though I had moved the mattress with my actions, the squeak endured. I was about to ignore it when the squeak began to develop a rhythm all its own! It was then that I looked over my shoulder to see her little dog, at the foot of the bed gripping a satin pillow turned on edge, mimicking our passionate romp, all the time squeaking with delight. | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 10/15/2008 9:50:15 PM | | A number of years ago, a gf of mine did it all time, anywhere. We were parked in her Firebird in a large park just after sunrise, and engaged in a strange sort of upright, leaning over type of 69 when I happened to look over and notice the tail end of a procession of about two dozen joggers going by. Some laughing, some aghast, some staring straight ahead. We had parked next to a trail when it was still foggy out. I explained to my lady what had occured as she couldn't see them from where she was. She was all for resuming, but I was through, my state of arousal gone. From that point forward, we referred to runners as jogger ***holes. | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 10/16/2008 6:45:26 PM | In the 'heat of the moment' I apparently knocked the phone over and had my parent's number on speed dial.....yeah, you can imagine the rest.
Try explaining to your Dad that you were ok after having screamed a man's name a bazillion times the night before.
(Next time Dad, just hang up!  ) | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 10/17/2008 10:12:17 AM | | This doesn't apply to me (coward). But a friend was contacted as a possible witness to a break in, by the police, after he got it on down in front of a security camera. | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 10/18/2008 9:37:49 PM | | wow i got a good one.. happend a wile ago..but i was doing "IT" and my mom came upstairs and i didnt here her so when she came and open the door i lit rely threw him on the otha side of the bed..she said "what was that noise" i said "what noise" then the only this i could come up with is "i farted" ..... lol she still dont know what happend that day lol | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 11/16/2008 10:53:32 PM | | My ex had just gotten his tongue re-pierced, and I had just gotten my cl*t*r*s pierced, and ummmm.... they got stuck barbell in ring. He's claustrophobic lol so it took a bit of time and a bit of pain for him to get loose. lol | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/24/2009 7:13:49 PM | i have everybody beat!!!!
Awhile ago me and my girl was enjoy some "together" time,the next morning a life long friend of hers came to see us. Well early the next morning there was a knock on the door, my girl opened the door,happy to see her friend. her friend was standing at our door holding a note laughing her a** off. my girl and her headed to the other room and both starting laughing thier a**es off. I went in to find out what was so funny, but they won't tell me. Finally my girl handed me the note both laughing so hard they both hit the floor (no sh*t) as I read the note i started to laugh also the note read,
Dear upstairs couple,
we are happy you two seem to enjoy your sex life but please move your headboard away from the wall you are keeping us up all night with the banging, we can get use to her hollaring but the headboard banging needs to stop so we can get some sleep. thank you. ( the down stairs couple was and older church going couple) needless to say the random meeting were strange, pops just smile at me and was real friendly with my girl?grandma just shook her head everytime we pasted)  | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/24/2009 7:21:48 PM | o.k. how about have you every broke you pen*is .......you can i know!!!!
me and my girl was really going at it she was on top, riding like there was no tomorrow, got a little carried away on the down stoke totally missed the mark and SNAP. i scearmed like a little boy, shoved her off the bed. both went to the E.R. me, with my broke happy toy her with a knot on her head, da^mn at the looks we got and then we had to tell what happen.  | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/25/2009 6:34:43 AM | 2 simple ones...
1) father was using the tv in my room to tape a tv show... the tv show finished and came in to get the tape... i was upside down in between the legs of my ex... she was embarrassed... he was trying to look the other way... and i was laughing...
2) have always been know for being caught in the act in a car but this one was a lil bit different.. was at a party at a mates place... there were so many light weights at this party... and i missed out on a bed or couch or anything to sleep on... me being me... took the ex back to my car which was parked in the backyard to sleep in... lil did i realise... the entire party heard my suspension... didnt realise it was that bad until every congratulated me on the effort the next morning...
my nick name set in at this point... Username/Nickname = NUDGING | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/25/2009 2:03:29 PM | OMG I can't stop laughing.
This is great..Ok here goes.
I was newlywed. He is 6'7 Im 5'4. Just a great couple, We had alot of fun in all type of positions. We decide to do it in the Hotel Shower. Our faces are stuck together while he tounges my tonsils. With his foot the turns on the water, we finally get into the shower, I reach down with my hand to grab the liquid soap, not looking. He lifts me so that I am standing on the tub rim, holding onto him and the shower curtain holder. We are really hot, water everywhere. I pop the top of the soap, (shampoo) goes everywhere, Its ok, we don't care, were rubbing, going at it, and we start sliding. My legs are wrapped around him, He has to keep on hand on me to keep me up on him, the other is grabbing slick wet tiles. He farts, and we go down. Needless to say, I couldn't quite laughing,as we were trying to move off each other in the bubbles and slick stuff.
It took him a few days, but at least he could explain the bruises on his butt from my foot hold as we went down. LOL LOL
Still laughing hard about it.
Lbiker | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/26/2009 1:40:58 AM | Ah all great stories...
Only one i have is, i was in uni a while back, living in my aunts place since i just got into the country.
Anyways, me and this girl were having some fun time together, and suddenly, theres a knock at the door, my aunt walks in, and then just as quickly walks out...
Anyways after that... still get some teasing from my aunt about it.... | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/26/2009 7:44:11 AM | So, its a beautiful Saturday, and I find myself tied down to the bed as my ex is having some fun teasing the hell out of me.
Then the door opens up to her apartment - its her parents who have stopped by to measure for curtains for her new place. She goes flying off me, tells them she'll be out in a minute, and throws this down duvet over me, and dumps laundry on top of that.
She tries like mad to get rid of them, but her mom is determined to measure every window in the place, of which, her bedroom has 2. In normal time and space you can measure a window in about a minute or two.. but not today.. added that I'm under a down duvet, in the summer, under laundry, and her parents are FEET away from me.. Oh ya.. I'm just freaking out a little bit. They come into the bedroom, and I can hear them measure away, and finally they leave.
The plus side was she was even more hornier after.. I didn't get out of bed the whole day :) | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/26/2009 8:40:22 AM | That's a good one!
I hate to admit it, but I was seeing two guys at the same time. So, one came over with a large bouquet of roses, and we were going at it when the second guy showed up unexpectedly at my apartment. While the first guy is busy scrambling in the bedroom to put his clothes back on, I let the other guy in the living room, as he knew I was home. (He was supposed to come over later that day.) He saw the flowers, and gave me a quizzical look, and all I could do was grab them and say, "they're for you!" | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/26/2009 2:08:25 PM | Masturbating first:
First one, I was 15, laying on my bed, had closed but not locked the door. I'm stark nekkid and going to town and my 11 year old sister walks in. She just stood there for a second, turned BEET red, and closed the door.
Second was 5 years ago with my then GF. We'd been living together for about a year at this point. I jerked off in one of my socks and tossed it in the laundry. She decides to do laundry about an hour later. (Laundry was normally my job) She comes in with the sock in her hand and a "Caught You" grin on her face. I got her back. LOL
Same GF, we had 5 cats. Yes, FIVE. Any time we were at it, here they all came. They'd hop on the bed, sniff around for a minute, and lay down. It was a little odd having the cats watching at first but I got over that. Having one of them run over to the wet spot and start licking it up, I never did stop laughing over.
Teenager. I lived in a semi-rural area. REAL small town. I'd borrowed mom's car and my GF and I had been to the 'big city' to see a movie one night. On the way home we stopped at a secluded pond, about a mile down a dirt road, in a heavily wooded area. We have our fun then get ready to leave and the car won't start. I learned later that the alternator had died, hence the dead battery. Can't call Mom and Dad to come get us. There was a State Trooper station about 3 miles up the main road so I jogged back to the road and up the highway to the station. They didn't have anyone nearby but were able to get one of the city cops to come out and jump start the car. Of course, the cops want to know what we were doing parked there.........like they didn't know
Some years later, different GF. We'd been together just long enough for me to learn where her buttons were. One night, after her 5 yo son goes to bed, I've got her handcuffed and tied down to the bed and I'm busy pushing those buttons and experimenting and she's having all sorts of fun when there's this little knock at the door. We stop, she says "Yes?", and her little boy goes "Mommy, are you all right?"
We laughed about that one for long time.
Doyle | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/29/2009 3:32:32 AM | During a small house get together, an ex of mine and I were in our bathroom having a quickie while people were in the living room watching tv. Little did we know there was a vent right next to the sink and the whole tryst was being broadcasted into the living room. So everytime i thrust she made a noise like OH!
So anyways we finished and walked down the stares amongst the snickers and laughter and all our guests looked at her and started chanting OH OH OH OH OH OH...She turned beat red and ran like hell back upstairs...
She wouldnt come out for the rest of the night!
I still laugh my butt off about that one.. But the worst part was her parents were the loudest chanters!!!!! | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 5/29/2009 4:26:10 AM | | I was giving my high school gf a ride home from my house (45 min drive). While I was driving my gf said she was really horny and wanted to give me oral sex so of course I let her. We were almost to her house when her dad called. I told her I was about to cum but she told me to wait so I could go in her mouth and then she answered her phone. She told her dad she was almost home and then put her phone down--meanwhile she was rubbing me. I couldn't hold it any longer and blew all over her. She yelled at me "I told you to wait so you can cum in my mouth, now you got it all over my face and shirt...How am I going to get this off my shirt before I get home?" I started laughing and apologized and she begin to laugh as well...then she looked at her phone. She didn't hang up! Her dad heard everything. Her and I dated for 2 more years and her dad never talked to me again after that night lol. | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 6/2/2009 8:13:29 PM |  Good reading here ... ha ha
When is it time to move the baby from your bedroom?
When he starts screaming at his daddy to "Leave my mommy alone!"
Or better yet ... applauding to a job well done!!! Yep, time to go into their own room. | |
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