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Diva77
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Joined: 10/31/2008
Msg: 77 | |
| Online Dating Etiquette -- It would be rude to ask face to face
Posted: 12/10/2008 9:32:41 AM | Weight is a sensitive subject for most - especially those who are overweight...I've been plus sized most of my life - and recently just lost a lot of weight. I'm still in the plus size mind set - even though I lost all the weight. I save the embarassment of having to answer the question, and put the info in my profile. I don't do well in photographs others take of me, and my web cam is too small to do body shots. So all that's posted on my profile right now is head shots and upper body shots.
There are some very shallow people out there who base relationships around looks and attractiveness. I admit, that while I don't base everything on looks, there has to be physical attractiveness on both parts and that connection for a relationship to form - but that is just me. We all find different things about different people attractive - what I consider attractive might not be your idea of attractive...
So... to save yourself from answering the embarassing question, just put the info in your profile or post up body shots. | |
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| Online Dating Etiquette -- It would be rude to ask face to face
Posted: 12/10/2008 9:51:22 AM | [Weight is a sensitive subject for most - especially those who are overweight...I've been plus sized most of my life - and recently just lost a lot of weight. I'm still in the plus size mind set - even though I lost all the weight. I save the embarassment of having to answer the question, and put the info in my profile. I don't do well in photographs others take of me, and my web cam is too small to do body shots. So all that's posted on my profile right now is head shots and upper body shots.
There are some very shallow people out there who base relationships around looks and attractiveness. I admit, that while I don't base everything on looks, there has to be physical attractiveness on both parts and that connection for a relationship to form - but that is just me. We all find different things about different people attractive - what I consider attractive might not be your idea of attractive...
So... to save yourself from answering the embarassing question, just put the info in your profile or post up body shots.]
It has nothing to do with being overweight. I am a slim girl. I have been told that I have a very nice shape...curves in the right places and what not....flat stomach. I've been scouted for modelling multiple times...and I still would NOT tell anyone my weight. I have beautiful thin friends who would not divulge information on their weight b/c it’s just something you don’t do! It's just not something you ask a woman. You don't even do that even when you and the person know each other in person for years even. A woman’s weight is obviously a touchy subject for most women ranging from the very thin to the overweight. However, it seems like others on here *Smoranean or whatever his name is* cannot get it through his thick skull that it's just something you don't do! With all that cynicism Mr. Somoranean, do you really have to wonder why you are 40 and still single? No seriously. I’m not being mean! Maybe you should change your attitude. Here is a woman telling you No we don’t like it when you ask us this…or talk to us like this…no we will drop your ass if you say this to us and yet in all your infinite stubbornness you still manage to be a complete @$$. You need to fix yourself or you might die alone!
Also, since you are so hell-bent on getting to know someone’s weight, I guess she would have to divulge information like her height and bone structure too right? B/C if you had any sense, you would realize that ones weight is completely dependent on height, bone structure and muscle mass. Someone who is athletic and more toned and tall would way a lot more than a chubby short person! So next time you want to find out someone’s weight, make sure you ask her “Hey so how tall are you? While your telling me that, what’s your muscle mass? What’s your bone structure like? You know what? What’s your BMI and your total fat percentage? That will give me a better idea of what you look like?” See how far that will get you! *roll eyes* | |
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| Online Dating Etiquette -- It would be rude to ask face to face
Posted: 12/11/2008 3:02:08 PM | Most women whether slim or overweight don't want to be asked their weight. Don't do it.
That being said it is only fair to provide the gentleman with a full body shot so he can determine whether he will find you physically attractive or not.
I don't think you have to worry about predators unless your posing in a swimsuit or something equally revealing. If you are worried about that, send the pictures in an email rather than posting them on your profile.
Now that I have solved this difficult conundrum I am ready for a nap.
Good grief this thread is two years old. I hate when I get suckered into an old thread. | |
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| Online Dating Etiquette -- It would be rude to ask face to face
Posted: 12/25/2008 3:47:08 PM | Well said, bbw2love!
Women - provide a full body shot so guys can see if they find you physically attractive. 
Men - Don't ask women their weight, bra size, underwear size, how curved her backside is, etc...it's equally rude whether asked in person or online.  | |
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| Online Dating Etiquette -- It would be rude to ask face to face
Posted: 12/25/2008 4:02:05 PM | I tend to be an open book about myself. I tend to be very open about myself right away online. For me, it just saves time and hassle, instead of a guy finding something out about me later on in a face to face date that's going to be a problem for him. And I'd rather a guy be upfront with me right away as well.
For example, if my living situation, weight, whatever, is going to be a problem for him. I'd rather know now, then later.
Just saves wasted energy and time.
I always tell guys, ask me anything. But they have to be willing to answer all my questions as well. | |
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| Online Dating Etiquette --
Posted: 12/25/2008 4:17:37 PM | | Asking on line just saves a lot of time, for both parties. Better ask on line, if you are a big girl, rather than turn and run at a first meeting , or get all worked up in the back seat to find that your partner wants some strange kind of sexual favour.. | |
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| Online Dating Etiquette --
Posted: 5/21/2009 4:01:01 AM | most guys are into physical looks, i'm certainly not going to grill a woman about her cup size or the curve of her ass.
however if you get offended by him asking how much you weigh, -how offended are you going to get when he stands you up at first sight, cuz you appeared waaay much more than he could handle. | |
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| Online Dating Etiquette -- It would be rude to ask face to face
Posted: 5/21/2009 7:17:15 PM | | Wrong, wrong and wrong. Speak for yourself. There are men who want a woman with a brain. Yes, I want an attractive woman who cares about her health, but I'd take less attractive and witty over beautiful and dull any day. The most important sex organ is the brain. It seems some people are lacking in that area. | |
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| Online Dating Etiquette -- It would be rude to ask face to face
Posted: 5/22/2009 5:26:17 AM | It is unfortunate that people feel so free to lie online. My online dating experience so far has been that almost everyone I have dated has been way better looking in person. They have also, often been much older than stated. There seem to be a huge number of men whose "friends" set up their profiles and mistakenly didn't know their age. I have also found a lot of smokers lying about this too.
I am quite overweight and quite upfront about it. I have a variety of good and not so great photos up of me. I'm not interested in meeting someone for whom that's an issue. I am also quite uninterested in meeting someone who lies about their age or smoker status as I am pretty sure that if they aren't willing to be who they are, they are not confident or secure enough in themselves to be my partner in life.
All that said, I have had IMs that asked me "how bbw are you" in the first 5 sentences. To which reply they get "apparently too bbw for you to be interested but thanks anyways". This I know; if they lie and have no manners online...their IRL manners and truth telling will be wanting as well. Move on my dear. | |
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| Online Dating Etiquette -- It would be rude to ask face to face
Posted: 5/23/2009 2:52:04 PM | | You can't judge a person by the number of their weight, unless of course it's something like 600 lbs. I have a friend who weighs 135lbs but is very thin and petite. She looks like she should weigh 110 at the most. Asking that question does sound very superficial. You really don't know how you will feel about someone until you meet them in person. | |
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| Online Dating Etiquette -- It would be rude to ask face to face
Posted: 5/24/2009 4:39:31 AM | If I am asked out right about my weight I alway say twenty stone, big as a house and the go back and check my profile picture myself, and think if he believes that he will beleive just about anything - or he is just plain stupid.
What galls me is the older men who call you 'Babe' and 'Sexy' on the first message and expect you to be taking it as a compliment - Urghhhhhhhhhhh smacks of he is desperate, skipping a few dates and going straight for the "you are stupid appraoch". | |
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| Online Dating Etiquette -- It would be rude to ask face to face
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:03:40 AM | I'm still wondering why anyone would need to know my weight??? Are they a doctor??? Are they prescribing medications???? My weight is irrelevant(sp?) as to who I am. But seeing as most men on here think I'm fat....I guess there looking for a woman to bench press.
If someone asks, I tell them. I may be off a few pounds as I don't weigh myself every single minute of the day. When first meeting someone??? It's simply rude and only implies that the person asking is superficial.
Why would anyone need to know your weight??? | |
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| Online Dating Etiquette -- It would be rude to ask face to face
Posted: 5/24/2009 9:17:06 AM | I do not own a scale! I use the mirror and a tape measure to keep track of my size! If my favorite clothes don't fit so well, I check my intake for awhile. While I could be in better shape by some standard, I love my body as it is. Seems that it's nice enough to attract a few suitors AND I still have the wearwithall to do all my chores.
Once a guy asked me something about my weight/body type as I had "slender" on my profile. I figure "average" today is obese considering that it is almost an "epidemic" in our lovely nation, so that descriptor did not fit (in my mind). When I told him my weight range he responded something kin to "you call that slender"? I wrote him off! Since women don't like to let on their weight numbers, I think that men have an unrealistic idea as to how much a well proportioned female weighs. When the playboy playmates all weigh in at 115...obviously a woman weighing 145 must be HUGE.... On my POF profile I put average. I'm not skinny unless you take me to Hometown Buffet or Sizzler and let me stand next to the rest of the patrons. Your "average" Americans.
Maybe next time I'll respond to the weight issue (if it comes up) with a question as to how big his "tool" is...
Finally, I guess face to face one wouldn't have to ask... | |
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| Online Dating Etiquette -- It would be rude to ask face to face
Posted: 5/24/2009 6:53:22 PM | Many men have told me they don't wish to date a woman who is bigger than a size 14 (Australian sizing which is about size 10 US). So while they haven't asked me directly - they were hinting. I told a couple of them off because I am about a 12-14 now but I was fitting into 16 clothes last year. I told them that they should be very careful what they say because I may fit their "criteria" now but I take offence that last year I was the "wrong size" for them.
I think it's rude and stupid to comment about it directly to a person. In the real world you would just wait til you met up and then make that decision. I have had quite a few guys ask what size I am which does surprise me. | |
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| Online Dating Etiquette -- It would be rude to ask face to face
Posted: 5/24/2009 8:13:26 PM | A lot of people seem to have bigger nads when they are hiding behind a keyboard. It is amazing what I've been asked over the net when I know darn well I wouldn't have been asked the same thing face to face.
However, I can understand a person asking another about weight. There has to be some physical attraction along with other things for a relationship to form. One thing I have found out is that a lot of people are dishonest about their body type OR two people have hugely varying degrees on what a specific body type is. I'd rather someone be upfront with me and say "I'm not attracted to bigger women." then to string me along for whatever reason while wasting my time. | |
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| Online Dating Etiquette -- It would be rude to ask face to face
Posted: 5/26/2009 6:19:08 AM | I have no problem answering any question someone may ask, whether it's online or face to face. It is my choice whether or not to answer anyway, so ask what you will.
I do have on my profile " few extra pounds" but I have been told on many face to face encounters that they believe that is not correct for me. If someone was to ask for my BMI, I can give it to them, it would indicate overweight. I have full body shots in my profile, however I have not posted some of the less flattering pics of myself, lol. What difference does it make? Some will find me attractive, some will find me ugly. So what? If I'm not what you want, move on. If you are not what I want, I will move on. If you ask things that are too rude to ask in person, so what! I just don't have to answer if I feel it's none of your business.
Happy fishing! | |
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| Online Dating Etiquette -- It would be rude to ask face to face
Posted: 5/26/2009 8:41:07 AM | I dont get offended, and I realize most peope will ask to weed out the possibility of being tricked. Many have been tricked into meeting people they otherwise would not have met, so asking is fine. It's all in how you ask.
"I am not one to normally ask such a question, but after the last few meetings I have had from online, I feel I must ask, how much do you weigh?" Is a lot more acceptable than 'are you fat'? | |
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