| Illusions
Posted: 10/18/2007 2:33:45 PM | We all carry lies,
emotional walls high,
misguided deceptions,
our own perceptions,
in all manners, all forms.
We patent our own agendas,
create our own illusions,
to show the outside.
Our barricades keep us untouched,
unseen, hidden,
so alone ... so apart..
You say,
“I want to know someone ...
... someone I don't have to lie to”
There's no need to lie,
no need to hide.
Crash those walls,
wave your flags,
the colors you've hidden,
so well ...
Scream who you are,
what you have been,
and all you will be ...
Look in my eyes,
drop that disguise,
Your camouflaged needs,
no longer exist.
I see through you.
Your flaws radiate.
Your silenced fears,
scream in my ears.
Your insecurities,
your cracked perfections
crystal clear, as an uncut diamond.
All these things I see,
with such clarity.
And you,
flawed and cracked,
are a vision far more
beautiful to me ...
far more real ...
... than illusions of you ... | |
|
| Illusions
Posted: 10/19/2007 2:41:03 AM | | Absolutely beautifully said Wizard..... | |
|
| Illusions
Posted: 10/19/2007 2:49:49 AM | | Thank you champrins...xoxoxoxoox | |
|
| welcome all around
Posted: 10/19/2007 7:25:04 AM | Due to all heck breaking loose in my health and personal life I have been a bad thread hostess, I'll try to make amends.
Ms. Wizard is the clear winner of the Goldfish of Glory for great verse this week That's an honor around this thread, ya know.
Hello again and thanks to Celestial Heart (so optomistically beautiful)
Champrins for the comments (always appreciated)
Brian Thorn (so suave)
Thorb (sheer beauty of verse at the right time)
Welcome and come again to Sports Guy - My Angel
MyEverAfter (really identified with "I recall you saying")
TX Tickler - The Journey
On the personal front:
My ex-lover is now very sorry everything happened has promised (again) to stop drink--get counseling--give his life to Jesus (assuming He wants it)--and, of course, assures me he still loves me with all his heart and those 53 phone calls, and those death threats were just a lovers spat.
While I applaud his new found devotion to personal regrowth, he can do it alone. Fool me once, etc,... Ever notice how everybody finds Jesus (was He lost?) as their hearing date draws nearer?
Healthwise -- I have had the first epidural injection into my spine. It has helped the pain some but not near enough, also doing some physical therapy. Pain pills do work but that's not really how I want to live. I want my back ...well...back.
That's the update.
Keep that fresh-rolled poetry coming!
Love, Mother | |
|
| welcome all around
Posted: 10/19/2007 7:36:57 AM | Oh I am so glad! 
Stay strong in yourself and keep seeing it as it is. You have broken a cycle. Take care of you, be the peace warrior, and may your body heal quickly and your mind and spirit be whole.
I believe that you too deserve a goldfish of glory award | |
|
| welcome all around
Posted: 10/19/2007 11:01:36 AM |
Ms. Wizard is the clear winner of the Goldfish of Glory for great verse this week That's an honor around this thread, ya know.
Wow. I AM honored. With all the talent on this board, I never would have dreamed. Thank you....that is really a lovely compliment and a wonderful inspiration to keep writing!!
My ex-lover is now very sorry everything happened has promised (again) to stop drink--get counseling--give his life to Jesus (assuming He wants it)--and, of course, assures me he still loves me with all his heart and those 53 phone calls, and those death threats were just a lovers spat.
Sort of like Ted Bundy "accidently" beat and dragged women into his car.
While I applaud his new found devotion to personal regrowth, he can do it alone. Fool me once, etc,... Ever notice how everybody finds Jesus (was He lost?) as their hearing date draws nearer?
Ah the proverbial convict on his way to the chair praying to god that the power goes up. Funny how that works...
Healthwise -- I have had the first epidural injection into my spine. It has helped the pain some but not near enough, also doing some physical therapy. Pain pills do work but that's not really how I want to live. I want my back ...well...back. Grin...that was a cute last line. I have a friend who's been suffering with back pain for years and living on medications that never seem to work. Have you tried acupuncture? I havent myself but the alternatives (meds) seem so bleak....I'm so sorry to hear you have these troubles Mother. Its either feast or famine when it comes to sorrow somedays...and unfortunately it sounds as though you are feasting by force on sorrow. Consider yourself hugged and thought of~
Wiz | |
|
| i've been robbed
Posted: 10/26/2007 1:06:06 PM | i've been robbed
yeah, been broken into
and emptied
my own personal stash stolen
all that holding on
years of hoarding gone
just
like
that
now theres no place to hide
nothing more held deep inside
i've been emptied
vandalized and looted
you walked right in
slick as a knife
took all I had
all you needed
I tried to fight back
tried to hang on tight
but you, quiet
insidious thief
in the night
were stronger
you robbed me blind
your tools of the trade
honed on my savings
now I'm broke 'cause
you ...
... have...
...stolen ...
...my heart ... | |
|
| praise
Posted: 11/13/2007 8:01:29 PM | Ms Wizard
Really enjoy your stuff. Keep writing. | |
|
| praise
Posted: 11/13/2007 8:16:06 PM | | So good to see you back moon maiden. Ya backs are tricky things. Bathing in moonlight may help. | |
|
| praise
Posted: 11/13/2007 8:18:47 PM | | REM, you back? Hope so.....and tell Pensky I said hi... | |
|
| praise
Posted: 11/13/2007 8:21:05 PM | stay strong
remember your power
lies within all you
have overcome
you will never be
where the broken promises
placed you
for life now holds you gently
and your friends
are your eternal song | |
|
| thanks & hugs
Posted: 11/13/2007 8:24:20 PM | Monday was my birthday so I had a 2nd epidural injection into my spine. This one seems to be helping. Ex-boyfriends court hearing for domestic violence is tomorrow.
Jittery!
BicPen is sitting with her sweet aunt and doesn't have access to computer lately.
I haven't got my poetic groove back. So lay some sweet verse on me, my sisters! | |
|
| thanks & hugs
Posted: 11/13/2007 8:45:31 PM | In the Navaho world
moving forward is
a plane of being.
You find yourself
by continually being
in motion.
So become
the-woman-who-constantly-changes
the goddess Estsanatlehi
transform yourself by
dancing from one mountain
to another
riding one wave after another
every road is a song running
through your marrow
do not wait to be born
give birth to yourself
over and over and over again | |
|
| disguised
Posted: 11/14/2007 5:09:57 PM | you're such an artist of deceit
with your snapped cracked words
pouring out of the side of your mouth
with all the sincerity of a used call sales man
moonshine and roses scattered before me
with the luring appeal of bitter candy
held out before a child's face
but i jumped for it
just reached out and grabbed
and found myself laying face down
on the ground
like an idiotic suicide jumper
falling from a one story building ...
... not enough damage to kill me
but enough to make me feel a fool~
and off you go skipping
contented and so cool
laughing at
another silly woman
who didn't see
the lies behind eyes that
smile as they pierce you
oh yeah those eyes
you are ...
such a master of lies ...
... such a Master of Disguise... | |
|
| disguised
Posted: 11/14/2007 5:27:06 PM | Systematic deception
as she slinks into the bar
hooker boots and stressed to kill
how lovely how sultry how delicious
hunting again
slides up at the end
peripheral radar scopes the scene
disappointed again she orders
merlot spritzer, straw please
siently mocking hopeless divorcees
and their football escape
from reality too sober
CIgarette smoke waltzes with the ceiling fan
rings of carcinogenic religion
entwine and disperse into stagnating air
as beer is poured and glasses clink
to yet another civtorious score
who is playing matters not
for the only game played tonight
is the hunt
and he walks in alone
as she knew he would
sits next to her smiling a first meet first greet smile
the smile of cruel intentions
and alterior motives
He is caught in a spider web
translucent fingers ensnare his attention
Her curves, her eyes, her very pressence
He is addicted before inhalation
she snares him on her whimsical charms
lures him into her delicately set trap
and suddenly he is her toy
her midnight rendezvous
She sips daintily and precisely averts her eyes
ever so slighty
and smiles just enough
and giggles just enough
and he finds her sexual pressence tempting
yet beyond his grasp the prize
for she is not this girl
Her hooker boots are just for confidence
her curves are her own
her smile is genuine
her ammunition in this hunt is truth
and she finds herself wondering
when will it be enough? | |
|
| Happy Birthday
Posted: 11/14/2007 8:59:12 PM | I cannot believe that a birthday has been missed by all. Dear Red Earth Mother I am sorry to hear that you haven't been well.
No need to worry about hostess duties
living is far more important
health, happiness and love
and to see your smile
flow through the mirrors
of your vitality
we miss your words
be well. | |
|
| hi folks
Posted: 11/20/2007 7:47:41 PM | Hello and thanks to Ravinclause, Autumn Fantasy and Brizo.
Welcome back Lessthanone, your "Stay Strong' poem lifted me up when I needed it so badly and "In the Navajo world" I loved the line about dancing from mountaintop to mountaintop and the rebirth of the self. Write on my sweet sister! I using go to a sate park in the mountains of NW Alabama around my birthday to contemplate the year before me and behind me. Didn't do so this year, perhaps I should. Thank you for your gifts.
Welcome Honey-J, where have you been hiding? Loved your poem especially the lines
"CIgarette smoke waltzes with the ceiling fan
rings of carcinogenic religion"
and
"he finds her sexual presence tempting
yet beyond his grasp the prize
for she is not this girl
Her hooker boots are just for confidence"
Come back anytime!
Welcome back MsWizard
the luring appeal of bitter candy
held out before a child's face
but i jumped for it
just reached out and grabbed
and found myself laying face down
on the ground
like an idiotic suicide jumper
falling from a one story building ...
Amen, I heard that! Know the feeling well, too well.
My ex -lover, pled not guilty which means the case is going to trial Dec 11.
I'm being subpeanaed (spelling?). I know it sounds weird but I almost think
he's doing this just to get to see me. It isn't a felony, he could have pled guilty or no contest and walked off with a fine and advice to go to AA. | |
|
| Free Verse Poetry Festival
Posted: 11/20/2007 8:25:01 PM | Just in case...
If he comes for me, consider this
My message in a bottle
And tell them to look here
Because the night I had him arrested
When I had to run out into the night
And leave him in my house, he called my cell
Phone from my kitchen phone.
He'd found my journal and read to me from it
Mocking me, pronouncing my views of myself as "crap."
Paper is too fragile and too portable.
I know longer trust it
To hold and keep my secets.
That night he tried to get into my computer,
He left a note for me beside it
Notes throughout the house.
He couldn't guess my password
BICPEN knows it and can unlock my mind here.
If he comes for me, consider this
My confession that I have yet to make to
My distant and grouchy priest
Because I am both too ashamed and too proud
To admit my humanity,
But have found absolution
And surely done a harsher penance
For those few nights and days of pleasure & joy
Than any bored old man could devise.
Let it be known that I didn't take communion
After the relationship went sexual
Because I am consciencious and no hypocrite.
At 43, I am to old to play the "village virgin"
But I held out longer than most.
And if I am a "fallen woman"
I still believe I am not completely beyond
The boundaries of God's grace.
If he comes for me, consider this-
He called Nov 18 to tell me his mother's spirit
Came to him from heaven
Sat with him in his truck
And told him the only man that could help me
Is a Florida faith-healer named Lester Somerall.
Though never a religious man
He claims this healer can cast out devils
I asked him if he thought I am possessed.
He was silent. He can think of nothing else to explain
My loss of love for him.
He fears I have developed a split-personality
And begged me to get help to overcome this "cold being" I have become.
I fear for him and myself.
Lester Somerall died in 1996;
Where shall I seek him for help, to free me from this demon-lover?
If he comes for me, consider this
A list of clues:
He keeps his gun under the cushions of his loveseat
How ironic, yes?
He no longer leaves threats on my answering machine
Or cell phone. He avoids the blocks on my phone
By calling from businesses, payphones, "go-phones"
And borrowed cell phones along his route
Through Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee and Alabama.
Tell the police to check those area codes
Against his route logbook.
If he comes for me, consider this
I was lonely but not reckless
He simply hid his true face for 2 months.
So don't judge me too harshly
Though he will claim I provoked him.
He will come with flowers bought at the grocery store
And will try to win me back.
He loves me truly but his love is twisted now.
He will kill me only as a last resort
In a drunken rage and cry over it later.
And if he does, I know the last words I will hear
Will be " Don't you understand, I LOVE YOU!"
If he comes for me, consider this
My message in a bottle. | |
|
| I Am a Woman
Posted: 11/20/2007 8:41:38 PM | | very well said!!!!! | |
|
| hi folks-The Salesman
Posted: 11/23/2007 11:48:11 AM | Lovely to see you Mother! Stay strong in the midst of this nightmare known as the Ex-Lover~
The Salesman
All my life I've protected myself,
well armed with my emotional Kevlar ...
I've held myself in never showing my fears,
my tears, my soft joys or my pain ...
So many years of being kicked around, used
abused and tossed away like a worn out dishrag
had taken their toll on my battered soul leaving me
buried in tarnished self worth ... destined to be
eternally solitary~
And then you came tripping along,
with the cheap speak quick moving patter
of a tawdry used car sales man talking to me
of beauty and showing me the plastic crystalline
colors of love as you saw it~
surrounding me in haloed elevator muzak
while wrapping me in the false
warm glow of contentment~
You patiently broke down my defenses,
freeing me at last ... and I, ever the fool ...
opened my heart to you as I handed to you
my well hoarded trust like a precious
jeweled offering on a silver platter ...
Ripping open emotional veins,
whispering to you my secrets,
my dreams, my many sorrows
and sharing all my deep rooted pains ...
I bled myself out as you seared me
to the bone with your shifty eyed look,
your insincere smile, your manufactured
understanding, loaded up like a pre-paid
credit card, with your store bought sympathies
As you cut me off, shut me down
with your canned excuses ... once again ...
leaving me alone ... some sales man you are;
Shattering the broken heart you so badly repaired
with the verbal Elmer's glue you used to put
the pieces back together~
And as I watched you running away, never once!
looking back at the havoc you wreaked,
I fell to the ground silently crying, dying,
while being torn apart once again ...
So here am I trapped,
buried in tarnished self worth
destined once again
to be eternally ....
... solitary ... | |
|
| hi folks-The Salesman
Posted: 11/24/2007 8:16:05 AM | Is it that time of year
or just the time of day
when way off in sublime
my mind finds a way to stray
back into the play
where you and I fly high
soaring like gulls above the sea
dreams dwarfed in that altitude
clouds obscuring the view
all I could see was you and me
it felt natural and good
I always thought it could remain
sort of change but stay the same
guess I was deranged by love
while flying so high above reality
now back here in this banality
I miss that illusion | |
|
| Broadband Love
Posted: 11/28/2007 4:43:30 PM |
I sit and stare at the tiny icon
on my screen watching it intently
as I wait for my long distance love~
Oh how I year to see him,
to watch mesmerized
as his sweet words flicker
like a speedy teletyped
missive across my screen~
With my little heart pattering
he types his sweet flattering
across the broadband lines
which flicker and define
the way this romance has grown~
When our airwaves are free flowing
and the traffic is light
I run to my computer
turn it on and in a heartbeat ...
I'm Juliet to his Romeo,
Bonnie to his Clyde,
Roxanne to his Cyrano~
I'm his sultry eyed Princess and
He's anything and anyone
I want him to be ...
... my dark savior ...
... my redeemer ...
my man ...
a high resolution Prince Charming
who wants me~
Who cares about the lost art
of snail mail,
or archaic dial up
when I can just
turn on my digital broad band
and receive with such clarity
with sweet worded sincerity
the http://love ...
of my long distance man.....? | |
|
| Broadband Love
Posted: 11/28/2007 5:32:53 PM | Bleeding emoticon's pixelated with red
Exposed qutoes of undying love
It could be across the universe
For merely being right next door
Rat-a-tat-tat words of passion
New age technology but love in old fashion
Wooing phrases of emotion and sway
Promises of a better time when broadband is nae
My dearest love I wish today was that day | |
|
| Don't You Love Me????
Posted: 11/28/2007 7:57:01 PM | My mail box is empty,
goddamn mailman must be sick again.
My monitors not flashing with my
Instant Message sign!
I knew HP wasn't the way to go,
**stard never works right!
I want my money back!
Glaring at the obviously broken phone,
****er never rings!
I heave it smashing it on the floor.
Look at your grinning picture,
taunting me so cruelly.
Oh Honey ...
... don't you love me no more??? | |
|
| haiku
Posted: 11/30/2007 7:57:11 PM | Great stuff everybody.
Felt haiku-ish
Pitbulls in love breed
Teeth Bared, snarling submission
Whelps pups born to kill | |
|
Home
login 
