| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/7/2008 4:34:59 AM |
Sounds like she got a rebound guy and you got, well, jealous. Textbook break-up case here.
Go ahead, give it a shot. See you back here in a month when it doesn't work out again. Then you can give advice on these same threads.
(Sorry, feeling a bit cynical today. But it IS a pretty typical case, here.)
LOL..this is funny..hahahaha | |
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DazzyB
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Joined: 10/9/2006
Msg: 102 | |
| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:38:58 AM | Yes I did, and what a HUGE mistake it was!  That'll NEVER happen again! I've learned from my mistake the hard way. She's tried to get back with me since (while still sleeping with another guy who has a major drinking issue) but I've told her where to go! Just not interested - I've forgiven her but there's just far too much water under the bridge for it to work anymore. Besides, wouldn't want to have to deal with another cooked rabbit!!  | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:50:54 AM | Asking a bunch of single people about the successes of ANY relationship seems futile. If they had success, they would not be here.
But my opinion on the subject...
I wouldn't rule out the possibility of reuniting with an ex... it really depends on the reasons why the break up occurred and what has taken place since. | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:53:53 AM | I think most of us have done this somewhere along the way.
I think that if there was no abuse, cheating, or otherwise ugly behavior then if you truly feel you want to give it a second chance then give it a shot. It is your choice because you are the one that is emotionally invested. But if the second time around doesn't pan out then you need to come to terms with it. Don't go for a third time if the opportunity presents itself.
In my last relationship I gave it three tries. During the apart times neither of us dated others. But what I learned is if it didn't work out the first and second time then it is not going to work the third time. Looking back now I realized I probably shouldn't have even given him chance #2 let alone chance #3 but sometimes when you care about someone you have that hope that maybe it can work out.
What you need to think about it why it ended in the first place. I have a new theory now... They are an "ex" for a reason. | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:56:43 AM | I most certainly agree to NOT DO IT!! Married with the ex for 14 years. She left me twice during that time frame.. I took her back twice. The first time we got back together it lasted 4 years, with a separation time of three months. The second time the separation time was 5 months. The third time of our separation it was I that left. I couldnt deal with her new found life and freinds. That was 10 months ago. I feel the reason I got back together with her the second time was that I needed to be validated. Its a hell of a shot to the ego when someone leaves you let alone the feeling of loss. Those were very dark times for me when she left the second time. Depression, stress, etc. A freind told me once, people revert back to thier personalities after the honeymoon is over. How true that is.
For as many relationships that there is out there, there are as many situations. Each one different in its own respect. So I would NEVER say don't go back. One never knows. Yours could be that one percentile that needed the separation/ divorce. However, I learned a very painful and costly lesson. If anything, things got worse. Now theres more resentment, trust issues with her and no vision for a future with her.
In short.........I don't recommend it. | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:58:28 AM | I went backwards & forwards to my ex for a few years, and it was never any different from his part. I finally found the strength to get rid of him for good, and feel 100% better.
I now look back and realised that I went back to him time and time again for the sake of our son, because he always wanted a happy family, and unfortunately my ex wasn't going to change for anybody.
And as someone said before, in time you start to see why you split in the first place | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/7/2008 8:25:34 AM | Yup...Im guilty..
I was on and off again with my childs father for 3 years. He would go on a drug binge and I would say "no MORE WE ARE DONE" a few days later he would come back and swear it would never happen again. Needless to say I would take him back and the next paycheck rolled around and he done it again. It made me quite bitter towards addicts. Then he started seeing another girl a week after we split up. I was devastated because it was sooo soon but I started moving on with my life, then he wormed him way back into my home....Well once again I am officially single.
I finally give up on him.
Ex's are Ex's for a reason
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/7/2008 8:34:42 AM | | I was married for 7 years and split-up with him for a year. Went back together and we lasted a total of 18 yeas. but nothing really ever changed. As for my parents they were divorced when I was 1 years old and got remarried when I was 13 years old and are still married and are very happy.....So I think it depends on the people....but look who you are asking single people....And yes most of us have tired twice specialy if we have kids with our EX....... | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/9/2008 1:42:15 PM |
xinxspired....I'm just wondering....and I just have to ask...............................................is there a point to that rambling rant somewhere that I missed?
Are you drinking by any chance?
Wow ~ I got the entire meaning of that post....maybe the poster wasn't the one missing something? But then again, I just tend to read what's written, not what I want to see written. Perplexing. 
~OT~ Wow, there are some varied comments here. After reading them all (too much time on my hands apparently) ~ I'm still sticking with the "no more second chance" theory. I'm all for giving a bonifide relationship a valid attempt, but there are just some things that once noticable and enough so that a break-up happens ~ it's a good sign of things to come. I see no need to settle with someone that simple isn't a good fit today, but might be tomorrow ~ that seems tragically naive to me. But then again, I only live my life. To each their own.  | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/9/2008 1:51:33 PM | i got back together with my ex wife several times after we divorced and it just never worked out as we had both moved in different directions .
shes a great woman and has a great man in her life now and am happy to say we are all friends and get along great . | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/9/2008 2:31:14 PM |
Recently broke up with my EX after 7 years b/c I didnt change for better. She got with a new guy a week later. Has anyone got back with their EX after dating with others? How was it the 2nd time around?
Here's the thing...are you broken up...or separated?
Separated does not automatically mean single.
If I separated with someone (if we were married or not) or even if we'd "broken up" and they ran off to anyone else...the relationship we had ...and any chance at reconciliation between us is history.
Doing things like that shows exceptional immaturity and lack of intelligence to know what the problems are, how to work to fix them and how to reconcile.
People often also...will deliberately break up relationships just to "try out" other people...sometimes have a little fun...and if it doesnt work...they run back to their safety net...and use the guise of "we were broken up" to justify their behavior.
This is why 2nd time around reconciliations rarely work. Cos the base issues that caused the breakup were never resolved...and then either or both parties simply compound further problems by creating others for nothing. | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/10/2008 2:53:33 PM | I couldn't have said it better...........I have mirrored your scenario...........why is it we end a relationship because we can't change them and then pick up with worse?
I've ended up going back to the lesser of the two evils, but like you say we can't change them...............re. Prochaska and DiClemente's theory..........."Past performance is a predictor of future behaviour" | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/10/2008 2:58:24 PM |
Chris Rock said it best: She's not mad because you cheated. She's mad because of all the d**k she passed up being with your @ss.
that's funny | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/10/2008 3:01:36 PM |
they always come back.
and they always get thrown right back into the sea  so a next man or woman can catch them happy fishing  | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/10/2008 3:11:08 PM | Yes, I have.
The general consensus seems to be that it is not worth the trouble and that 'they' will never change. Given the laws of Nature and the Universe, however, that can't be true, because the only absolute truth is that people and situations are in a constant state of change... But I believe it is more what Kyn said, that the issue, or issues were never resolved.
everyone is different, every situation is different. If two people can communicate and get past old stuff, getting back may be just what their hearts and souls really need.
It's tricky, because we live in a disposable society now, in a 'just move on' age.
So, the puzzlement becomes..... if you can't solve issues with someone you once loved and trusted, what makes one believe that they can move on and magically cruise easily to life's up's and down's with a new person.
no right or wrong answer here folks
Peace,
```````````````` "Kimbo'`````````````````````````````````` | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/10/2008 3:43:25 PM | I was married for 7 years when I left my husband. We were seperated for 4 months. I still lived in the state and we only talked due to our child together but we were still friendly with each other. After about 3 months we started going out once in awhile. We got along and it was okay. I decided to move out of state. Once I did, he started calling me every night before bed and we talked for hours. I decided to move back. We didn't move back into the house right away but after 2 months we did.
It lasted for about 14 months before I walked out again. Like everyone is sayng ,at first they and you do change to try to make it work but eventually you both end up doing what caused the problems in the first place.
We were lucky though and have remained good friends, who talk alot and get along well. It was 10 years total and I will never regret any of it. He was the best thing for me at that time in my life and what I needed and wanted.
I learned alot about relationships and how to do it right and when it isn't right how to end it like an adult and stay friends. But never again will I get back with someone once it has ended. | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/11/2008 3:36:15 PM | | I dated a girl for 3 years after being best friends with her for 3 years. Then after the breakup we didn't talk. 9 years later we started talking. We ended up getting back together... it was a lot different, perhaps cause we are older and out of our teens. The way she treated me is far different too. She used to obsess about me. When we dated a second time, she could care less. It was like dating a manniquen. | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/11/2008 10:36:33 PM | how many of us have not done this?..... I was counselled by so called experts .... and I did...... it was deja vu all over again after about 2 months..... and the laws are on the female person's side..... in the end we had a haulocostic meltdown..... it cost me everything plus a bunch....... it was definitely NOT worth it. I received some advice a few years too late...... I will share it with you all........
Has your ex (guy or girl) ever performed oral sex on you?....... if yes....... think about this........ he or she also did with the person they cheated with....... ask yourself if, knowing that, can you ever french kiss that other person's mouth again? ..... my answer was NO....... too bad the religious know it alls who counselled us did not have one person amongst them who knew to ask this question....... | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:45:12 AM | | I did the stupid thing of forgiving and wanting to help him and on the third time of him Shitting on me big time, I walked - never to return. Second, third. fourth time or whatever - its not the same, too much water gone under the bridge and makes you realise just how much time you spend trying the make things work. I for one will not give him the satisfaction to even think I want him now. Sorry do not get me going on this one. | |
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lucela
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Joined: 5/23/2008
Msg: 122 | |
| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:14:45 PM | | People tend to break up for a reason and it must be a pretty good reason if they break up, it probably hurts but if she is seeing someone else then shes probably trying to move on so maybe you should to...x | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/12/2008 7:19:40 PM | This is a really biased thread- why?
Well, I doubt there are many married people on a dating site- and so all the answers here are negative. I wonder how many people would, if chat forums for marrieds existed, be saying, "it was the best thing I ever did- gave it a second chance- its wonderful we have never been happier "etc etc
Just a thought..  | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/13/2008 11:39:41 AM | I had an ex who pursued me for months to get back together but I couldn't take her seriously once she shacked up with another guy, i had moved on too and started dating, but it didn't change my view of her. Once a new guy has been inside her I think that puts a real damper on any intimacy you once had. I let her to do "her best" to convince me but ultimately viewed her as a booty call when I was drunk. nothing more.
I suppose if enough time had passed, and obviously both of you had moved on and reconnected - you might be very different people then it could happen. | |
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